Spidey vs. Sparkle Vamp
Seen here looking like a faaaaaaaaw-bulous lion, Andrew Garfield chokes out a bottle of body glitter every time somebody brings up Robert Pattinson's name, because he can't stand that block of mozzarella cheese covered in sparkle vamp skin (Andrew's supposed words, not mine, Twihards). While doing research for this highly important expose about the battle between pajama-wearing superheroes and broody disco balls who call themselves glittery vampires, I found picture after picture of Andrew and RPattz hugging on each other. But a source tells USWeekly that both of them are faking it through those hugs and Andrew is faking it better, because he's the real thespian of the two, thankyouverymuch.
The source says that it disgusts Andrew that he's put into the same category as RPattz, because he considers himself a highly serious actor who delivers his farts with more raw emotion than RPattz delivers his lines. (Side question: Do vampires fart?) The source went on to say that at a wedding for some Hollywood producer last month, Andrew and RPattz barely looked at each other. The source added this shit: "The truth is, Andrew can't stand Rob. Andrew hates that they're put in the same category because they're both English and around the same age. They don't enjoy hanging out. Andrew considers himself a 'serious actor' and sees Rob as the equivalent of a cheesy boy bander because of Twilight."
So the source is trying to tell us that this feud is over which one of them is better at doing acting shit? That's not what it's about. We all know what this is really about. When two 20-something British men snarl at each other, it's usually because of one thing and one thing only: HAIR!
Andrew is just jealous that no matter how much he grows out his wild mane, it will never summon the frolicking unicorns the way RPattz's does. Let's compare these two bitches:
Andrew should get some credit for giving us (Note: shake your finger when you read this or it won't count!) Lambert the Fiiiiiiercest Lion, but he still only gets 3 out of 5 Chantal Biyas:
RPattz on the other hand, 5 out of 5, duh:
When the angels stand on the edge of the clouds and dip their asses low, whose hair tips do they brush their butt cheeks against? Exactly. Stay jealous, Spidey Bitch, stay jealous.
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Submitted by WTFOMGLOL on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 3:14pm.
♪♪ Bitin' 'round the World !! ♪♪
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Submitted by The_Big_Bad_Wolf_743 on Fri, 07/13/2012 - 1:09am.
"What's next, a SAW reboot?"
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Oh.My.God.Bite.Your.Tongue.
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"A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." -Macbeth, William Shakespeare
Submitted by The_Big_Bad_Wolf_743 on Fri, 07/13/2012 - 1:09am.
Omg I wanna hug you right now cuz you thought the social network was a wank fest as well!!!!
Seriously I walked out of the movie and thought "meh" and then all these critics were gushing and creaming their panties (both men and women) about what a "ground breaking" movie it was.
The source says this and the source says that. Big deal. Probably none of it is true.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Do the world a favor and shut up and bleed.
Not a fan of Twilight but, personally, I think Rob is the better actor. While Twilight is bad in a fun, Showgirls sort of way, The Social Network was an overrated, anti-climatic mess that only got noticed because a bunch of critic snobs jizzed in their pants over it. And do we seriously need a Spiderman reboot when the original isn't all that old yet? What's next, a SAW reboot?
This fight stands to be the world's most boring fight ever.
and if they do fight, its gonna be hilarious.
because it will be just like that scene from bridget jones' diary when hugh and colin (who makes the dlist ladies misty *down there*) fight.
Well, at least it looks like Garfield washes his gigantic mane every now and again. It's well known Pattinson never does [bleah!] because he can't be bothered.
Plus, Garfield is one of the tribe and automatically far funnier and cuter than that boring shaygetz RPattz.
That hair....I just can't.
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Shiitake happens...
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 8:25pm.
Spidey - I watched it opening weekend and I'd give a solid 6.5 our of 10. It kinda lost me (not that I couldn't follow type of lost me.....but just begin to clearly lose it's momentum and character development)during the last 1/3 of the movie. He is alright in it. I actually thought that Emma girl was sorta weak but everyone loves her nearly as much as Betty White these days.
His grandparents were some of the best parts of the movie.
I liked the first Tobey Macguire ones far, far better.
Oh no problem on disagreeing, my fave movie of the last year was 21 Jump Street. So it's a taste all my own.
Sans,
Being serious, was excellent. Best thing they did was get rid of Toby and hire dramatic writers.
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"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." C.Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP MCA, "no sleep til Brooklyn") *caprica six was/is here*
Wait...so this new Spiderman is actually good? come on, don't tell me I have to see this shit now...
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It's PHELPS time!
Andrew G. was right on the mark in Spiderman. He was excellent. Respectfully disagree.
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"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." C.Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP MCA, "no sleep til Brooklyn") *caprica six was/is here*
Yeah, I don't believe this either. BUT AG was terrible in Spiderman, he made me want to cheer for the villain. He was good in the Facebook movie and the one with Keira K where they all die.
I can't hate on RPattz cause the writing in the entire Twilight movie sucked so bad, he actually looked good in comparison to the rest of the cast.
LOL at this post!
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"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." C.Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP MCA, "no sleep til Brooklyn") *caprica six was/is here*
Yeah, because that's just the thing we needed: another Spiderman movie.
JFC....doesn't anyone in Hollywood have any original ideas?
RPattz was fine in Harry Potter, playing Cedric Diggory, when he cut his damn hair. Now he just looks stupid.
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It's PHELPS time!
Andrew looks like next husband, Matt Nathanson. I love how MM can turn an innocent song like Disney's "Under the Sea" into the perverted "Under the C" (clit). He has that gift just like Michael K has with the gayisms. see for yourself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FuFSHBr4o0
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 5:10pm.
Where have you been? We need you to come here more often.
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Oh, I had a mini vacay over the 4th. Got back Tuesday found out my boss is out of the office this week so it's been VACAY all over. Cruisin' the Dlist trying to catch up.
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Why don't you dance with me? I'm not no limburger.
Garfield is gorgeous (albeit in the unconventional way that most would ascribe as fug, awful pic there), he just has something.
He looked amazing the way he was lit in The Social Network, you couldn't take your eyes off of him, but as said his best stuff so far has been on TV like Red Riding. He was brilliant in Boy A - http://youtu.be/FlsJhySmlj4
The boy is very clearly gay though, I always thought this, he gives obvious vibes. He has a young Anthony Perkins thing going on.
He's right to look down on Pattinson and annoyed at being associated with him, as he is a much better actor than that plank of wood. We just haven't saw what he's really capable of for the most part since Spiderman is his breakthrough. Wait till he's in other roles. He was nominated for a Tony as well this year for Death of a Salesman.
Submitted by super8atefilm: "I'm getting odd Michael Douglas Streets of San Francisco vibes from the one on the left and pure putz from the one on the right.
Tools."
Where have you been? We need you to come here more often.
Andrew needs to STFU and STFD, seriously, watching that spiderman movie I wanted to smack the back of his head so he would spit the damn lines that were stuck in his throat.
It's never too late to be who you might have been.
~George Eliot~
Totally made-up. These photos are hilarious though! I can tell you that I know a half of dozen folks who worked on Cosmopolis and have said only nice things about Pattinson. He is surprisingly very humble and self deprecating. Everyone got along with him.
Aren't his two biggest roles to date a Spider-Man reboot and a supporting role in a movie that gave a similar sized role to Justin Timberlake...I mean come one bitch please. I think Robert Pattinson is a goony Frankenstein looking creep, but he's worked with just as many talented people as Garfield
Team Andrew!!! He looks like he actually cleans his hair and he can land a cool chick like Emma Stone, while Rob looks unbathed and is with Kristen Stewart.
I call BS on this one. I mean, yes, it's obvious who the better actor is. Andrew Garfield has presence and versatility and I really think he could play any role. Pattinson is more like a romantic comedy, angsty drama, junky roommate kind of actor, I mean, he could* get better, he truly needs to rough it up if he wants to stay in the A leagues (I had no other way to put it). Andrew on the other hand, is effortlessly good and he also has a hit under his belt. A good hit. There's a difference between playing a guy wearing spandex saving lives who's a total hero and playing a sparkly dumbass vampire with a fascination for mouth breathing. Blaaa Blaaaa, what a big rant. My money is on Garfield to make it BIG until Pattinson proves me wrong.
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''Don’t you come after me, you whore!'' Joan Rivers.
Because nothing says serious actor like a Spiderman reboot? Girl, please.
Submitted by skinny fat on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 2:49pm.
*Breaking News*
Just what we need! New film starring Russell Crowe as a dun dun dun, wait for it...waaaaaiiiit for itttttt......Vampire!
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♪♪ Bitin' 'round the World !! ♪♪
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwsFNOHGABA
Oh, puh-leaze! I'd rather run my hair through Andrew's shiny clean mane than through that greasy mess of a mop that the smelly vampire rat grows on his head.
♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬
Rrridiaouw woo oo rrri-ou!
I can smell the unwashed bodies from here.
Never heard of the guy who looks like a lion. Sounds like he is a little green over the vampire's success.
*Breaking News*
Just what we need! New film starring Russell Crowe as a dun dun dun, wait for it...waaaaaiiiit for itttttt......Vampire!
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That's far more interesting than these bland whitebread boys.
like the last three spiderman movies, the worst thing about the new one is the actor playing spiderman. he needs to go sit down. preferably in a hair stylist's chair.
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
I really hope this isn't true. Spiderman already looks like a feminine lollipop with that skinny body and humongous head. Bitch needs to calm down and be glad he can get a movie that was remade 5 YEARS AFTER THE LAST ONE.
Give me back my goddamn HELMET!
Neither one of them is worth a dry popcorn fart.
DO NOT WANT.
Submitted by super8atefilm on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 1:24pm.
I'm getting odd Michael Douglas Streets of San Francisco vibes from the one on the left
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Nailed it! hahaha
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!
http://lif3d3sign.tumblr.com/
Camerooooooon!
Let's see, one's been pointlessly fucking K-Stew's dead eyes for years, in a quest of getting it to orgasm. Do you ever imagine her climaxing with that mouth hung open and that nonchalant air? And the other one gets to hump on Emma Stone. Cuter, yes, but I bet she can't stop talking all through it like oh Andy I love you. Where is my gum? My grandmother called last week! Where is my gum? Where is my gum? Fetch us some tea, love?
There are no winners here.
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Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.
Lol As if everyone everywhere is comparing the two of them. BTW, Andrew IS the better actor. But this is prolly a made-up feud anyways.
Love Chantal Biya! Always good to see that bitch.
RPattz is SO FUG, I'm Team Anybody Else.
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"If French is the language of love, then Spanish is the language of badassery!" -MK
Submitted by super8atefilm on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 1:24pm.
I'm getting odd Michael Douglas Streets of San Francisco vibes from the one on the left
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Hey, that's a pretty good call right there, nice pull! lol!
They both look like they haven't bathed in a year. And they're not Italian.
Hadn't seen Patz in anything before seeing him in Cronenberg's Cosmopolis. Weak film, but he was very good. Held his own with Giamatti. This other guy seriously shouldn't be throwing around boy band slurs. Not in that hair.
I'm getting odd Michael Douglas Streets of San Francisco vibes from the one on the left and pure putz from the one on the right.
Tools.
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Why don't you dance with me? I'm not no limburger.
Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 1:13pm.
whata coupla Charlie Potatos!
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CHARLIE POTATOES!!!!! BAWAHAAAAAAA!!!
Submitted by ZiggyStardust on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 1:07pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 12:57pm.
Peter Parker is actually a difficult role to play; he is a complicated character, and Marc Webb's take on Spiderman is more of a character drama
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I understand what you're sayin Ziggy and I do understand Peter Parker as Spidey was my favorite comic as a kid but....IT'S Spiderman not King Lear it ain't THAT complicated lol
Whatever.
whata coupla Charlie Potatos!
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky