B. Coop As The Elephant Man
I went to Williamstown, MA a couple of weekends ago, because every now and again I like to trade in my nightly routine of getting drunk in my underwear on my couch for getting drunk in my swim panties on a patch of grass in the country somewhere. And I also went, because my gay gene compelled me to see a Sharon Tate-ized Leslie Bibb as a bimbo in a Neil Simon play. While I was there, some goat-footed, wheezy old theater queens (aka me in five years) in the lobby kept slobbering on and on about how Bradley Cooper has been a revelation during rehearsals for The Elephant Man. Then they said something about how B. Coop is only wearing old-timey chonies for a small chunk of the play. That was all I needed to hear to run to the box office and say, "One ticket for next week's opening night of The Elephant Mens, please." A bunch of whores had the same idea as me, because I was denied a ticket and told the entire run sold out in a quick second. Boo.
Well, now I'm really booing at not getting a ticket, because here's some pictures of B. Coop pushing out some serious raw emotions in The Elephant Man and I need to see all this WTF-ness live and in motion. The dude who plays Joseph Merrick in The Elephant Man never wears prosthetics, because the playwright Bernard Pomerance wanted everything to be communicated through physical acting stuff. But I think Bernard Pomerance was a future see-er and just really wanted the world to see B. Coop making an "Andy Cohen rocking out to Journey" face, among many others. Just give B. Coop all the Tonys already.
Bonus: Here's a picture of Bowie in a loin cloth as Merrick.
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How can you muster up compassion for someone that looks semi normal while making the "O" face? He's hardly the Elephant Man. Please throw some make up on him or consider it an epic fail.
Is he actually sharing the damn stage with Patricia Clarkson?
Sarah Smile
oh goodie. yeah, I need to see BCoops "O" face while I'm eating breakfast.
*throw pop tart across room*.
Someone get him back to the gym stat, he really let himself go.
Merrick might have actually suffered from Proteus Syndrome. Got to read a lot about it when son was born under the suspicion of suffering of this syndrome too.
18 years later, he is doing great and had just some spontaneous mutations (macrodactilea too like that high school somebody else mentioned and some other minor issues). Proteus is a young death sentence.
I saw the elephant man for the first time when I was on my late teens, British version of the play. Loved the story. I wonder how well cooper can portray that rol though.
those pics are the funniest thing i've seen all week.
so much for being in chones.there is not much to see is there?
"Submitted by ditquoi on Tue, 07/31/2012 - 7:36pm.
don't see how you can "impersonate" someone with elephantitis without makeup since it's almost 100% a cosmetic issue."
Rande got my attempt at humour! The elephant man didn't have elephantitis, he had some kind of genetic tumour disease.
I think Bcoop definitely has a case of Elephanman-itis for dramatic purposes in the play.
OMG he's such a douche.
what happened to his body? didnt he have a smoking body? he just looks like a dumpling now.
He signed on to be in The Hangover 3? Not that any of those actors are esteemed and above sequels, but WTF? I just saw part 2 a couple of months ago. It blew chunks.
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The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
It would be great if his face froze that way.
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If it looks like a stunt, walks like a stunt and smells like warm piss on burnt plastic, it came directly from Pimp Mama Kris' pimpin' hand. - MK
Pretending to have palsy isn't going to get him an award. It looks more mocking if anything.
I don't understand how he can keep his face like that for more than a few minutes. That shit looks painful.
I saw The Elephant Man on Broadway long ago when I was just a very young hoor. One of the first plays I ever saw. It wasn't David Bowie in the title role though.
I wouldn't mind seeing BCoop in this production. I'll bet he is good, and even if he is not, he's nice to look at, and bravo to him I guess for tryna be a seeer-eee-ussss ACTOR!
Submitted by Flatsy on Tue, 07/31/2012 - 5:56pm
Andy Cohen ALWAYS copies Dlisted. I can't count how many Hot Sluts I've seen on his show. It's just getting tragic now.
oh fucking please.another crap actor trying to prove themselves. he signed on for hangover 3. i'm done with him.
My folks took me to see the Elephant Man movie when I was a kid. Traumatizing! The horrific disfigurement, the cruelty. It made me cry and cry. Good movie though.
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 07/31/2012 - 9:40pm.
Cappy, it took me a while to get there. But I was pleasantly surprised when I did it. 107. Yes sirree.
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Dog, seriously, I'm impressed. Anyone working out IN TODAY'S ECONOMY gets a nod. Damnit, I know how hard that shit is too; used to rollerblade all around nyc central park for hours and, since it's 10 years past and my drunk ass hunkered down with books and family issues, I can't even PUT my fking rollerblades on without being out of breath. Working on this. Now you are an inspiration, girl.
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“When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' He's two. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.” -George Carlin (RIP MCA and C.Hitchens) *caprica six was/is here*
Cappy, it took me a while to get there. But I was pleasantly surprised when I did it. 107. Yes sirree.
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*yes, as a bonafide DL addict I ran back from stir-fry w/ ladle in hand
Dog!, I just renewed my campus gym membershp thingy too today, us staffers got to get er done at this time so we're forced, fk em all! Ahem, but Kudos on the 100 crunches! (faints at the though, damnit, cool on you, Dog). Granted, my shit is slender but lazy. Plus thinking about 100 crunches makes my vino'd self get vertigo. *does 7 jumping jacks for Dog's 100 crunches; passes out
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“When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' He's two. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.” -George Carlin (RIP MCA and C.Hitchens) *caprica six was/is here*
Cappy, for the first time I broke 100 crunches at the gym tonight. Woo-hoo!
How are you doing???
Mmmmmm. Steak stir fry.
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{{{Dooogggg and Hover *I DID NOT FOREGET, NEVER FORGET}}}
Damnit had too much vino and it's only 9p. Have a lot on my damn mind ugh. Howzit, Dogg, hope all is well. *slogs to stir steak stir-fry for a minute.
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“When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' He's two. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.” -George Carlin (RIP MCA and C.Hitchens) *caprica six was/is here*
Submitted by MeowMeow on Tue, 07/31/2012 - 6:32pm.
It makes me uncomfortable when celebrities try to be serious actors. He needs to stick to shit like Wedding Crashers and The Hangovers.
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Yes, this! x10000
Submitted by C6 on Tue, 07/31/2012 - 9:09pm.
For real?? He's stage acting this on the realness?
^^^^^^^^^^^
Nah, he just had to fart really, really badly and couldn't get one out.
{{{CAPPY}}}
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For real?? He's stage acting this on the realness?
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“When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' He's two. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.” -George Carlin (RIP MCA and C.Hitchens) *caprica six was/is here*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KuTPGMDAvQs
Submitted by chippychazoo on Tue, 07/31/2012 - 7:23pm.
"Submitted by ditquoi on Tue, 07/31/2012 - 7:05pm.
kind of insulting on several levels. is he pretending to have cerebral palsy?"
Nope, Elephantman-itis.
*smirking at work*
David Bowie did it better.
I was going to say that he'd never get a Tony if its as bad as the pics suggest but then I remember that they gave one to Catherine zeta jones for this...
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FUGkjNTRoNo
Ooh fuck thats funny...he looks like he's doing "The Elaine" dance from Seinfeld! Or maybe "The Demi" dance from that Snoop show. Ololool!
Where is his winkie woo?
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Certified Slore
@chippy, hmm...would have guessed palsy before I guessed elephantitis. *shrug*
don't see how you can "impersonate" someone with elephantitis without makeup since it's almost 100% a cosmetic issue.
"Submitted by ditquoi on Tue, 07/31/2012 - 7:05pm.
kind of insulting on several levels. is he pretending to have cerebral palsy?"
Nope, Elephantman-itis.
Oh no...B. Coop - the serious ak-tor!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
true story: long ago in high school, one of the big basketball players on the HS team had Elephantitis of his MIddle Finger. and Only his finger.
in between classes when everyone was in the hallways --so crowded,, he would walk along and "bonk" some people on the head with it...
it was kind of an honor actually :)
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"I (almost) never look back, darling. It distracts from The Now."
= Edna 'E' Mode
2nd thumbnail: the coop's diaper needs a changing...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
I don't buy him as a "serious" actor. AT ALL.
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kind of insulting on several levels. is he pretending to have cerebral palsy?
Submitted by mike on Tue, 07/31/2012 - 6:50pm.
I'm better looking than Cooper (in my not so humble opinion). *shrugs*
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I don't have a high opinion of him mike, so straight away I already know you are right. But I have to say, confidence is a beautiful thing and I respect that. ;)
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by louise_brooks on Tue, 07/31/2012 - 5:52pm.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Tue, 07/31/2012 - 5:45pm.
Blurgh. Somehow a man with a perfect, smooth, lovely body playing the elephant man with no makeup strikes me as cruel and mocking, not like some acting achievement. so Bernard Pomerance is an obnoxious twit.
Maybe it's meant to symbolize that underneath everything he was just a man like any other?
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Perhaps. Still stupid to me.
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That is the EXACT face that we'd make when I was working in a bar in England and some weird looking person came in. And we'd play the part of this guy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgzKTNfve3I
Naturally we were drunk, but it was fucking hilarious - or so we thought. Until one of the girls tried to smoke ACTUAL GRASS! And we had keys to the fucking BAR - I got my pint of half vodka ice and some coke and went to my room. Pffft.
Now we know why he was dating Renee Zellweger....to see what ugly is like up-close. No offense to the Elephant Man, though.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Tue, 07/31/2012 - 6:28pm.
Mike, but what do you think of the COOP? Is he not WORSE? Omg, I wouldn't wish Jim Carrey on that girl but I would wish Zellewegger on HIM! olo, so gross
He's just an average guy (not that there's anything wrong with that).
I'm better looking than Cooper (in my not so humble opinion). *shrugs*
Really sorry to hear you ended up in Williamstown, MA....yawn.
Mike, you for sure have backstage passes. Lol. All dlisted peeps have access to what many theater buffs are calling the greatest imaginary story of all time.
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Worrying is using your imagination
to create something you don’t want.
I once paid good money to see The Hunchback of Notre-Dame starring this really tall, good-looking guy who had perfect posture and a charming speaking voice. Not the same thing at all.
Love the Coop but those pics are funny
I don't mind B-Coop, but a serious actor he is not. He was good in Wet Hot American Summer and the Hangover but I don't see him playing anything that requires dramatic skills.
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