John Travolta Has A New Best Friend
A little over a week ago, JLo's leased piece Casper the Friendly Gold Digger was caught by a pap's lens sashaying into a peep show on 8th Avenue in Manhattan. Many of us figured that either Casper was there to live out his dancer dreams of recreating Madonna's "Open Your Heart" video for strange men or it was just a staged STUNT QUEEN stunt to stroke away the gay rumors. But Star and InTouchWeekly say neither of those are the reason why Casper found a way to slip out of the toddler leash that his sugar master JLo is always holding on to. Star says Casper was just doing a little gay glory hole trolling and InTouch says he was just getting the John Travolta special from a WOMAN! That tingle you feel dancing around your ear holes is the glory hole gays cackling at that last part.
Let's get InTouch's story out of the way first. Bibi, a worker at an appointment-only exotic massage parlor in the building Casper went into that day, says that JLo's paid toy was there to get his body worked on and he was only there for around 10 minutes. Bibi didn't say if she's the one who put her fingers on JLo's ho, but she did say that he's "a nice man. He has strong muscles.” Don, who works below the parlor at the gay peen show (on purpose typo), co-signed Bibi's claim and says that he's seen Casper going in to get a massage at least twice this month. JLo's spokeswhore denies all of this and says that he was just there to get a tattoo on his finger. More like he was just there to get a finger in his toot, which leads me to Star's story...
One of the gay peep show regular's told Star that he has definitely seen Casper use his allowance money to get into the peep show and he was probably there for more than just a level 1 Fred Willard:
"Yeah, I've seen him. He was in here about three weeks ago. This is a gay cruising spot. You go into the booths, then you get all kind of tapping on the wall and propositions. It's like zombies."
JLo's spokeswhore jumped in and said Casper does not make out with peens and the hos spreading the gay rumors are just jealous.
First of all, will somebody please print out the exact location of that peep show and give it to Fred Willard, so he has a quiet place in NYC to furiously hand hug his pepaw chorizo without worrying about the damn police screwing with his fap time. Second of all, whatever the truth may be, John Travolta is still going to slip a note in Casper's mailbox at the Scientology Center inviting him to the men's sauna meet (John's Scientolohole) and greet (it with his peen).
Here's a few pictures of JLo and her piece on her birthday. It was nice of that selfish heffa to give Casper a quick massage right there in front of the paps, but I'm sure he's thinking to himself, "Um...can you go a little lower and also, somewhere between my shoulders and b-hole, can you magically transform your lady hands into man hands?"
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He's ugly and stupid. Not a winning combination. I still say JBlow will marry him by the end of the year.
She needs to pick someone closer to her own age who is not into guys.
Casper's gay. He's just in it for a career. JLo will look back and wonder why she didn't see it.
"Casper the friendly gold-digger"... that's hilarious!
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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
Submitted by EvilShoe on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 12:23pm.
She was high maintenance before, can you imagine her beauty routine now in her forties? __________________________________________________
Insane! An entire bedroom full of beauty products to keep the hands of time at bay.
What more can I say Top Billin'... Audio Two
Cut Casper some slack. Six months of being around J-Lo would drive even Charlemagne to chode.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 11:38am.
Hmmmm if every dudes she's ever banged is her sould mate, then either take away her Harlequin Romance novels or she aint got much of a soul.
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This. ;-)
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"Though this be madness, yet there is method in it." - Hamlet, Shakespeare
Maaaan...a 2nd-rate gossip website FILLED with 3rd-rate commentators.
So freakin' sad.
Look in the mirror, you fucking bunch of whiny-ass losers.
Peace, Love and Oatmeal.
Thanks Hekki!
citizen strange: We cool. Don't even worry about it.
Bibi is one hot exotic masseuse.
I thought he went there to get JHO Bag a brand new huge dildo or vibrator. Since JHO Bags cooter is so huge and stretched out, she needs the biggest dildo they have. Nothing can satisfy this old worn out no talent tacky delusionsal trash!
She Stinks!
Does the cover really say interview with the OTHER WOMAN? Oh no, I don't think so, nice try! Lol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Naughychimp on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 2:18pm.
Me too. But it's her own fault for increasing her chances of ugly babies by spawning with Skeletor. Beauty isn't guaranteed when two pretty people procreate, but it doesn't hurt the chances.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 3:06pm.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat: "... I picture a small room with holes all over the room and dicks sticking out wagging at some screaming gay man! lol"
This was in an old VHS porno that Mr. Hekki had. But it was a woman and some of the peens were real and some were dildos. She went crazy sucking on them. It was a dream sequence. It was stupid.
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YOU'RE STUPID!
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Sorry Hekki .... I am just trying to make you laugh NOT offend you. When I thought of it it was funny to me but when I wrote it it looked so harsh. We cool?
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat: "... I picture a small room with holes all over the room and dicks sticking out wagging at some screaming gay man! lol"
This was in an old VHS porno that Mr. Hekki had. But it was a woman and some of the peens were real and some were dildos. She went crazy sucking on them. It was a dream sequence. It was stupid.
Are people really not knowing what goes on in those Adult Book Stores with 25cent peeps shows??? Well, there ain't no womenz in there, just extra horny guys or hustlers looking to have a happy meal or three (OPP)
Nail me to my car... then I'll tell you who you are...Joe The Lion
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 2:21pm.
Submitted by Paquita on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 1:56pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 12:36pm.
Submitted by Paquita on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 12:16pm.
Submitted by AGame on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 12:14pm.
not sure why you all are so confused about the "gay zombie" concept. see photo of Kunty Karl below.
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AAAAAAAAHHH!!! So they all have cats for pets.
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Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!
Submitted by Paquita on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 1:56pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 12:36pm.
Submitted by Paquita on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 12:16pm.
Submitted by AGame on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 12:14pm.
not sure why you all are so confused about the "gay zombie" concept. see photo of Kunty Karl below.
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Sadly, if JHo's children were cute, she'd happily spend time with them. As it is, they're butt ugly (on a par with Ryder, Kate Hudson's son) so she wants nothing to do with them. I truly believe that she is this shallow. http://www.google.ca/imgres?q=jennifer+lopez+emme+max&um=1&hl=en&client=...
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 12:36pm.
Submitted by Paquita on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 12:16pm.
Submitted by AGame on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 12:14pm.
It's like zombies??
wtf does that mean?
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EXACLTY MY THOUGHTS!!! WTF? gay zombies?
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Um..well that would be Zombies that like the sexual company of other same sex Zombies. lol!
Or Zombies that are really really into Zombie musical theater
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Now I am really confused. Is this Zombie theater movement is like the Jewnicorn fanfiction?
http://worldoftoday.tumblr.com/post/17103090083/today-i-learned-what-a-j...
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Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!
i hate jlo.
i hate jlo.
i hate jlo.
go choke on a chicken you POS & take baby fucks w/you.
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Submitted by winniwins on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 1:01pm.
thanks for the alert. the comments in the birthday post tomorrow will be epic!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 1:15pm.
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AHAHAHAH not your literal "soul" Whamo! The bum high up in the air kind, ololol *sorry about that, but that's how she rolls* lmao ;D
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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whatever, we all know he is doing this for fame and money.
she just looks pathetic.
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That's where the pain comes in
Like a second skeleton
Trying to fit beneath the skin
I can't fit the feelings in
Is that Farrah on the bottom right? It looks like Sophia but not Farrah
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Never liked J-HO never will.
Doobies and Boobies--Brandon Brown
Submitted by WithinReason... on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 12:37pm.
Make her work for it! She'll love it. Sugar mamma's know! *winks*
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LOL, I ain't the soul bearing type, as most Ex's will attest to. lol!
Submitted by sinjin on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 12:39pm.
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Whamo, I'm confused. Do you mean base player as in good base runner in baseball or "bass" player as in musician? :P
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Why base RUNNER of course, I have the Field of Dreams in my back yard and Ty Cobb just twisted his ankle. I'm fucked for Friday's big game against the Atlanta Black Crackers
It's her birthday tomorrow. He was just getting the finger tattoo as a gift. Duh! ;)
Submitted by loopygorilla on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 12:09pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 11:49am.
Loopy, go Larry Graham or stay the fuck home.
Loop-Lo? J-Loop? decisions, decisions
OT: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, i don't care who you are now that's funny
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 11:02am.
tapping on the wall??? zombies??? I picture a small room with holes all over the room and dicks sticking out wagging at some screaming gay man! lol
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Please, tell me more... this sounds like a fun place.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 11:48am.
2 bucks say there is an engagement announcement by Thanksgiving.
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Ha! You think it'll take that long?;)
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 11:49am.
I would love to hear Kunty Karl's views on Casper! The guy is seriously freaky looking!
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LOL. Has anyone seen Trailer Park Boys? He looks like a more malnourished version of someone who belongs on there!
Like anyone believes that these two were ever together?! The cover is hilarious!
So Casper went for the happy ending?
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 10:46am.
No matter how much money you throw at him...he'll still want younger pussy!
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TRUTH
Submitted by Whamo :
"...and get me a good base player, a really good base player is hard to find."
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Whamo, I'm confused. Do you mean base player as in good base runner in baseball or "bass" player as in musician? :P
The "finger tattoo" is the funniest part of this whole story. Because the only places in NYC to get a tattoo are places that also offer ghey peep shows too. lolololol
I do think fingers were involved, and perhaps there was a tattoo on the finger(s), but the rest of it is mistaken.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 11:49am.
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Agree with Loopy, send in your tapes. Word of warning, don't be so easy, she likes a bit of "resistance" can't have you just opening up your "soul" to her Whamo! Make her work for it! She'll love it. Sugar mamma's know! *winks*
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░
Submitted by Paquita on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 12:16pm.
Submitted by AGame on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 12:14pm.
It's like zombies??
wtf does that mean?
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EXACLTY MY THOUGHTS!!! WTF? gay zombies?
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Um..well that would be Zombies that like the sexual company of other same sex Zombies. lol!
Or Zombies that are really really into Zombie musical theater
Submitted by loopygorilla on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 12:07pm.
I had my money that Casper was a sugardaddy, BUT my money was on Casper keeping a twink, not a lady. Damn i knew i should have put an each way bet!
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OLOL I have that impression too. He kept or is keeping a boy twink, like Nick Gruber... where is he in all this BTW? That baby could tell some stories on the Casp... Jello saga. Mamma J is just too strict, won't let the boys play!!! Hahaha
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░
Submitted by loopygorilla on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 12:09pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 11:49am.
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you need to send in your audition tapes to JLO.
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LOL,
Hmmmph! I'll bet he just has a "wide stance" too. Show us your fingers asshat(looks for non-tat).
She was high maintenance before, can you imagine her beauty routine now in her forties? And it's not good genes!
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 11:32am.
I expected that would be the first entry here today. Guess I was wrong.
Submitted by AGame on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 12:14pm.
It's like zombies?? wtf does that mean?
I thought about it for a couple of seconds and then I realised that I don't want to know. Are they eating each other's faces?
loopy enlighten us on this gay trend!
Submitted by AGame on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 12:14pm.
It's like zombies??
wtf does that mean?
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EXACLTY MY THOUGHTS!!! WTF? gay zombies?
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!
It's like zombies??
wtf does that mean?
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what's in your taco?: a. chicken b. beef c. fish d. QUEEF
*wonders how Jack knows about those rooms*
Wait, who fucking cares? Did anyone ever once give a passing shit about JHo's "relationship" with this loser? Because I know I was never interested for a damn second. Please try harder JLO, if that's even possible.
maybe octomom can adopt casper since she broke up with her church body builder boyfriend.