RPattz Is Crying Out Sparkly Tears On Reese Witherspoon's Laura Ashley Curtains
If you live in Ojai, CA and are wondering why all the grocery stores are out of Entenmann's devil's food cake, raw cookie dough logs and tubs of cream cheese frosting, it's because RPattz bought all of it and is sitting on Reese Witherspoon's living room floor trying to drown his hurt emotions with gallons and gallons of artificially sweetened carbs while cry singing along to "Bust Your Windows." Since every tabloid wants to turn this Kristen Stewart and RPattz break-up into the worst and saddest episode of The Love Boat by dropping in cameos from a bunch of Hollywood stars, both People and UsWeekly say that Reese Witherspoon is letting him mend his broken heart in her fancy Ojai ranch.
RPattz and Reese became friends while shooting Agua Para Elefantes and so when Kristen Stewart punched the glitter out of his heart by doing dry butt sex with that married director, Reese gave him the keys to her $7 million Ojai vacation ranch to hide out in. KStew has been calling RPattz to beg him to take her cheating whore ass back, but he doesn't want to hear it. Basically, he's saying Ojbai in Ojai. (I know, I need to stop.) Here's what UsWeekly has to say about this mess:
As Pattinson attempts to relax chez Witherspoon, he is, according to another source, "a total mess . . . He's questioning everything."
An "inconsolable" Stewart, meanwhile, has been reaching out via texts and phone calls. "She's dying to save the relationship. It's the only thing she cares about," a Stewart source says.
Oh, please. RPattz should be squee-ing into his bong now that he's free of that bland bitch. More pot for him! RPattz should also be happy that he's rich, can take time off and has rich friends with fancy ass country houses for him to be all sad in. RPattz doesn't know what it's like to be heartbroken and all out of sick days to use. It sucks sitting in your cubicle, under fluorescent lighting, the morning after your shit got dumped or you found out your ho cheated on you. Trying to wallow in your woeisme-ness under fluorescent lighting is a shitty feeling.
If RPattz running off to Reese's ranch isn't just another stunt move in this possible stunt of all stunts, then I hope she has farm animals there. And I hope that some of those farm animals are goats (no, I'm not about turn this into a story about goat rebound sex, so no need to flinch), and I hope that some of those goats are jumping goats. Because nothing turns a frown into an awwwww like a bitchy, racist, drop-kicking baby goat:
Wait. Do baby goats bite their lips? If they do and RPattz sees this, then Entenmann's better back up their truck directly into Reese's driveway, because it's going to be a long weekend.
Here's pictures from Elle Decor of Reese's ranch. Shit looks like Pottery Barn's snobby cousin (let's call it Marble Barn) farted all up in there.
• 
http://www.louisvuittonoutletonlineget.com
louis vuitton outlet
http://www.louisvuittonhandbagsusamall.com
Louis Vuitton Handbags
http://www.llouisvuittonukhandbags.com
Louis Vuitton UK
http://www.louisvuittonhandbagsusashop.com
louis vuitton handbags
http://www.cheaplouisvuittonbagsusamall.com
Louis Vuitton Purses
http://www.louisvuittonoutletonlineget.com
louis vuitton outlet online
Lucifer Sam and Evil Cupcake:
I simply made a comment about my observations raising and enjoying the wonderful company of goats.
And if the two of you choose to take my words and twist them into something else, then that is your misfortune.
I just watched Water for Elephants for the first time a few weeks ago...it was okay. The book was spectacular, in my opinion. I just couldn't see Reese as the female. She's too old. The lead female was supposed to be around 23. I couldn't get past it. :-/
Same here. I read the book and my calculations were she was 21. I can't remember how I got that number, her age when August found her and they had been married for X amount of years etc.
She is in her mid 30's and I couldn't get past it either that she was miss cast age wise. I am not a huge Reese fan anyway especially after Sweet Home Alabama. Never heard an actress from the South actually do a bad Southern Accent and the entirie movie she would "Billy Bob (or whoever she ran in to) I haven't seen you since blah blah blah". That was the entire movie. And her nostrils are always flared and her chin is huge and distracing.
I was reading the In Touch story, it says KStew drove Sanders 3 blocks from his home and he walked home but it doesn't say how he got to sketchy parking lot? Did he leave car there and she didn't take him back? Did he ride taxi? Did someone drop him off? And she looks like she is "acting" I the photos. But who is to gain from such a scandal? R Patz and Liberty Ross?
Same here. I read the book and my calculations were she was 21. I can't remember how I got that number, her age when August found her and they had been married for X amount of years etc.
She is in her mid 30's and I couldn't get past it either that she was miss cast age wise. I am not a huge Reese fan anyway especially after Sweet Home Alabama. Never heard an actress from the South actually do a bad Southern Accent and the entirie movie she would "Billy Bob (or whoever she ran in to) I haven't seen you since blah blah blah". That was the entire movie. And her nostrils are always flared and her chin is huge and distracing.
I was reading the In Touch story, it says KStew drove Sanders 3 blocks from his home and he walked home but it doesn't say how he got to sketchy parking lot? Did he leave car there and she didn't take him back? Did he ride taxi? Did someone drop him off? And she looks like she is "acting" I the photos. But who is to gain from such a scandal? R Patz and Liberty Ross?
Submitted by loopygorilla on Thu, 08/02/2012 - 2:30am.
my god he is ugly.
i dont know what girls see in him.
*******
Totally agree. He looks like he's been whacked in the face with the flat end of a frying pan.
I've never seen him act. Maybe he has a certain je ne sais quoi charisma that makes him hot? Looking at his pix though, it's lost on me.
************
Submitted by gladyslove on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 10:28pm.
So I gather from your post, all intelligent animals should be spared of being on our dinner tables, but the unintelligent are fair game to be eaten?
Good thing YOU aren't an animal.
Submitted by spider3tattoo on Thu, 08/02/2012 - 2:33am.
yeah i don't get why stupid twihards go nuts over cedric diggory.
Submitted by gladyslove on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 10:28pm.
people might change their mind about eating goat if they knew how intelligent these creatures are. They are pets and are every bit as loyal, sweet and curious as a dog. The mom's are excellent at rearing their young.
Can I eat homosexuals then? I mean, since you think that goats have more of a right than homosexuals to be parents and "rear their young", it should follow that homosexuals are superfluous to society and therefore I can have a homosexual curry for dinner.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Thu, 08/02/2012 - 2:30am.
He's less than zero on my sexy scale Loopy. You couldn't pay me to have sex with him. Not a chance in hell.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Though this be madness, yet there is method in it." - Hamlet, Shakespeare
my god he is ugly.
i dont know what girls see in him.
Did people give this much of a shit when Blandi Anvil got cheated on...I think not although if I was R Patz I'd be trying to get as many sympathy fucks as possible.
Reese was a beard for Jake Gyllenaal and now she's covering for Rob Pattinson. Don't buy the affair at all between Kristen and the director. Too obvious.
Jesus. Now they are bringing people with actual talent into this mess?
i really like Reese Witherspoon and am always confused by folks who say they hate her. some sort of emotional reactions i guess, cuz she is a good actress and has done an amazing range of types. (election was supreme and her role in June Carter Cash was so great). and she seems like a sane adult when i have seen her on interviews /red carpet extemporaneous vs scripted.
however, being however many months pregnant with 2 other kids and a new husband,, i rather doubt they have him staying with them, even if a guest-house.
(Love her Ojai house
===============
"I (almost) never look back, darling. It distracts from The Now."
= Edna 'E' Mode
For those of you who couldn't see the video, just google Baby Goat "Buttermilk" Jumping Over Goats and click on the Daily Mail link. (I couldn't see it here or on You Tube.)
Ok, I eat my words because when I resumed reading posts I saw that most of you did just comment on the goats, lol. (But in previous posts there were no baby goat videos.)
GG - that is a great story.
Tomahawk - you may not be aware that deer, moose, and elk lose their antlers every year. Witherspoon does not have the mounted heads those antlers belong to on her walls, after all.
louise_brooks - I'll bet the prosecution said or did something that brought Stacey into the courtroom. Anytime the subject went anywhere near Stacey Peterson the rule was that she was to be referred to as "unavailable".
TexnDoc - I'll bet those two big white watch dogs are Great Pyrenees. They are usually acquired when very young and in pairs, then placed within the flock of sheep or herd of goats where they will honestly believe they are a sheep or goat (or chicken or whatever, lol). If there is the slightest threat to their "pack", however, it will be shredded to bits. Wolves, pit bulls, coyotes, probably grizzly bears - you name it, they're goners.
I'll admit I'm interested in this subject (and I'm not quite as cynical about it as the rest of you), but maybe those who are bored should quit clicking on it, let alone comment, because there is a whiff of the "doth protest to much" in your need to type out a hundred zzzzzzzzz's or sigh for the umpteenth time about what a sham and publicity stunt the whole thing is under every post concerning these people. I mean, you could have watched the sweet baby goat without clicking or, if absolutely necessary, just posted a comment concerning the little kid. Also, I'd really like to know where you all get the notion that Witherspoon is a bitch. Yes Michael, you too.
Submitted by El Bastardo on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 4:23pm.
Me too! I need to try goat curry stat. I have tasted Congolese, Nigerian, Morroccan, Kenyan, Zambian food, in addition to the usual Chinese, Singaporean, Indian, Japanese and Thai. The only ethnic food I've hated so far is Indian. Will not eat again.
You should be able to get goat skin pepper soup in West Indies restaurants; I think they call goat skin kanda or something. It's really fleshy and fatty and oh so fucking yummy.
******************************************************
I think people might change their mind about eating goat if they knew how intelligent these creatures are. I have raised Nubians, Pygmys, Nigerians and have a herd of thirty. They are pets and are every bit as loyal, sweet and curious as a dog. The mom's are excellent at rearing their young. I could no more eat goat than eat my cat or dog.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 9:27pm.
I hear that Sans. I would not, they couldn't pay me to.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Though this be madness, yet there is method in it." - Hamlet, Shakespeare
Robert Pattinson is, without question, one of the most astonishingly unattractive actors in Hollywood.
Reese Witherspoon is overrated for the most part. Except "Walk the Line," she was good in that.
_______________________________________________
"SANTO DIOS! PRAISE HAY-SOOS CREASE-TOE!"
fuck my life. I can't even see the Buttermilk goat video!!!
I hate my life.
Goddammit, Rob, let's go over this one more fucking time:
1) she's a whore.
2) she should have thought about how much she"loved" you before she let that guy into her butter muffin.
3) She has meh face. Bad, dude. Seriously.
4) You're free and don't have to share your downers anymore! Dude, come on!!
5) Get the dog and go. The dog is prettier than that whorebag, anyway.
why the fuck do I keep commenting on two fuckers I don't give a fuck about. I'm more pathetic than they are.
I figure Summit is going to milk this for another month, then have the pair attempt a big reconcillation in mid-to-late October with headlines blaring that Sparkles and Mopes are "trying" to batch things up (just in time for Twatlight 5), only to permanently break up come late January (just in time for the movies Blu-Ray DVD release in mid February).
Trust.
**********
Shiitake happens...
The video was removed...you people and your racist snark against the lil black one! =P
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Though this be madness, yet there is method in it." - Hamlet, Shakespeare
Oh, for fuck's sake - please! This queen is "crying" because her beard is fucking someone? More likely, he's been in the bedroom webcamming the skank's session whilst jacking off to it (and watching the dude, of course).
================================================
"Oh, really? Did she like it?"
"I just love being a whore - you meet the most fascinating paint salesmen and curtain-rod manufacturers!"
"Oh, Honey. You´re simple, you´re shallow and you´re a common whor
Submitted by sonah22 on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 3:47pm.
Ugh. Boring ppl with boring friends and even boring affairs. I mean, how on earth do you make an affair boring?
-------------------------
Lol, I know!
yeah, momus, i've never seen any twilight, zombie or any of these cult-like fanship whatevers (not even that harry potter shit). i'm tragically unhip.
so maybe that's the missing link in not understanding all the pro/con talk. i thought mk was talking about her looks.
i do like a celebrity who doesn't seem to care about being a celebrity.
.....................................................
"The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing."
~Edmund Burke
http://youtu.be/p0mHxtpoq2c
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
yuck, you are making me nauseous with the goat skin soup talk (urp)...but I am VERY intrigued by the men's water polo discussion!
Submitted by Meatblocks on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 4:57pm.
KStew is not a great actress. Bella Swann is not a great role. She may be attractive but she is no great shakes as an actress.
************************************************
“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
************************************************
RPattz has weird hands.
************************************************
“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
************************************************
i don't understand all this talk about ks being bland or whatever and'll just have to chalk it up to mk being gay and not seeing her appeal, i think she's a hottie ... but what she did was shitty & anyone deserves better than to be treated like she did her bf.
i love her "i don't give a fuck" look.
.....................................................
"The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing."
~Edmund Burke
http://youtu.be/p0mHxtpoq2c
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
Submitted by El Bastardo on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 4:23pm.
Me too! I need to try goat curry stat. I have tasted Congolese, Nigerian, Morroccan, Kenyan, Zambian food, in addition to the usual Chinese, Singaporean, Indian, Japanese and Thai. The only ethnic food I've hated so far is Indian. Will not eat again.
You should be able to get goat skin pepper soup in West Indies restaurants; I think they call goat skin kanda or something. It's really fleshy and fatty and oh so fucking yummy.
Not a single fuck was given today.
***********************************************
Mel Gibson needs an enema.
Ugh! These boring news are making me crave for those lost days when MK used to post about other boring news, like Jolie and her bought army going in and out of toy or art stores. SNORE.
I honestly don't give a shit about these two snore fests and their fake relationship angst.
**************
-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 4:20pm.
@ El B
I've eaten goat skin in pepper soup and it is incredibly tasty!
I've eaten Curry Goat 100s of times. My workmate was West Indian and he knew all the cheap places in Sth London for lunch. It was sooo good. I am v adventurous when it comes to food.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
My Lover!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=om9p0NUNlSk&feature=fvwrel
Submitted by Indiesr1 on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 3:02pm.
You've been here almost four years and haven't posted much? For why?! Love the avie, Bugs Bunny is my fav and I am quite sure Michael is the Bugs Bunny (smart, witty, cute...) of blogging!
:)
@ El B
I've eaten goat skin in pepper soup and it is incredibly tasty!
Did it ever occur to anyone that maybe RPattz is sad because he wanted Rupert all for himself?
Maybe he really IS heartbroken, but it's not Kristen who broke his heart.
Mmmmmmmm Curry Goat! Irie Irie!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
My Lover!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=om9p0NUNlSk&feature=fvwrel
hehehee bambam! ☺☺☺
*I was particularly fascinated by your comment about what's going on underwater at those games, btw* CRACKED ME UP!
OnT: still like those little goats.
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░
That is one of my all time favorite houses!
I liked it better when Kathy had it though, Reese made it all drab colors...I guess he'll feel comfortable there then.
Entenmann's devil's food cake with Minute Maid Lemonade! That's how it's done!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
@ Withy,
Update; round tushies must be a recessive gene in Chinese women. ;p
***************
Gals are "just friends." Guys are "just waitin."
I'm not jelly of any of these dweebs, but I am jelly of anyone with a ranch in Ojai. I doubt you can find Entenmann's there. More like the world's best avocados and Pixie tangerines--served, naturally, on Native American pottery beneath a watercolor of canyon oak trees.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Wed, 08/01/2012 - 2:39pm.
/on the floor laughing. and, like Within said, yo' parents set you up! lmao where was AFHV when we needed it?
and, lol, nbc just switched to women's water polo. i wanna see some elbows and dunkin'!
olympics and racist baby goats >>> twi- and reese-shit
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
The PR flacks are just going to run this into the ground, aren't they? I guess they're going by the "Jack Reaper Is Going To Be HUGE Because Everyone Feels Sorry For Tommy Girl's Sad Face Playbook," because this shit is really stupid and obvious.
Stewart wanted out and Pattison REALLY wanted out so he can perv in public on Ashley Greene's ass and call it "rebounding" or "healing" and not what it really is (ie, carrying on in public what he's been doing for months in private). So simple.
Bambam, keep the updates coming, I'm counting on your objectivity and focus here! I like them too, there's something for everyone, that's for sure!
GG, lol a-huh she didn't see it happening! Good memories though! ;)
OnT: I don't like goat cheese! But I love the little jumping one, bah bah bah...
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░
Maybe he's attracted to women with huge chins
Hope so, Within♥ ;o)
Ugh. Boring ppl with boring friends and even boring affairs. I mean, how on earth do you make an affair boring?