Tan Mom Is Done With Tanning

Every tanning bed is dimming their UV lights and have stopped humming for a moment of silence, because they have temporarily lost their most loyal fan of all time. Gone are the days of 44-year-old Tan Mom (government name: Patricia Krentcil) tanning until she gets the complexion of a barbecued raising dipped in hoisin sauce. For now, anyway. InTouch Weekly (via Jezebel) threw down a challenge to Tan Mom: stay away from tanning of any kind for a full 30 days. Tan Mom took InTouch’s challenge (and probably a check) and this what she looked like at the end of it. You can take the tan off of Tan Mom, but you can’t take that crazy, maniacal twinkle out of her eye. Bitch kind of looks like a 65-year-old Cindy Brady on picture day at the mental hospital.

Tan Mom says that she didn’t cheat at all during the 30 days, but she did use a little self-tanner. Even though she misses getting into the tanning bed cocoon and coming out as a charbroiled butterfly, she’s pretty much done with tanning. Although, she says she will sneak in a tan here and there, because she likes looking like she just came back from vacation. Back from vacation? Vacation from where? The Willy Wonka factory? The Al Jolson Resort? MERCURY?

Whatever. Tan Mom didn’t quit tanning. Bitch’s skin finally just melted and shed off, and now that she’s got a new layer she’s going to do it all over again. You haven’t seen the last of Tan Mom looking like a dingle dangling off the sun’s ass.

Go to Jezebel if you want to read the entire interview.