The Kardashians Debut Their Newest Adorable Money Maker
Here's that innocent moment in every Kardashian girl's life right before Pimp Mama Kris grabs her, dips her in a bucket of bronzer, stuffs her with butt implants and shoves her out onto the stroll to add to the Kardashian family fortune by winking at every camera pointing at her. Since UsWeekly waved the largest stack of cash at PMK, they won the EXCLUSIVO rights to publish the first pictures of Kourtney Kardashian's second kid, 1-month-old Penelope Scotland Disick. Kourtney was holding that large stack of cash in her left hand (it was PMK's idea), but UsWeekly Photoshopped it out, because they felt it was overkill. Good move.
During the interview, Kourtney slow drooled out a bunch of words that you probably don't care about, but she did say that, "Nothing could prepare me for how hard I fell in love with her." Kourtney spits out words slower than a snail with heat stroke spits out a long-winded queef, so my guess is that UsWeekly's reporter got inpatient, turned the recorder off and went to get lunch before she could finish that sentence. Kourtney obviously went on to say, "......and nothing could prepare me for how hard I fell in love with the big stack of cash you just gave me for this interview."
And you need to slap yourself raw if you're wondering where Scott Sickdick is. Please, Scott Isadick's job here is done for now. Scott provided the baby batter needed to keep the Kardashian's fame whore legacy going, so now he can spend his days doing whatever he wants, which includes shopping at Barney's for silk ascots to wear around his dick. Or he's partaking in PMK's favorite afternoon time activity. Every afternoon, Scott and Lamar gather in PMK's backyard and help Bruce Jenner look for his nuts. It's called the Jenner Egg Hunt and nothing makes PMK cackle more than watching Bruce look behind the bushes for his huevos when she knows that she gave them to her maker Lucifer a long time ago. The dark orb in PMK's chest grows stronger every time poor Bruce jumps out of the bushes holding a shriveled olive and shouts, "I think I found one!"
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Go Team Scott !
Scott is a douchebag whose crowning achievement is keeping his gonads intact despite living in close proximity to PMK. About the only good thing those poor chirruns could have inherited from him is looks and as luck would have it they both got Kourtney's instead. This also means that the Kartrashian genes are so strong that KimYe's kids may turn out even homelier...talk about poetic justice.
That looks like two boys.
Kourtney is NOT attractive at all.
Because I had drinks, I will say, honestly, I do think those kids are fug.
*upgrades ticket to hell to first class seats, tyvm*
These kids are so ugly! Mason looks like Mowgli and Penelope like a baby Mr Magoo.
I don't think the son looks like either of them...
normally I don't find kourtney all that bad (compared to kim) but from the little Ive seen she treats the son as if it's her son and not her and scotts son..
Hekki, I get the feeling that Kourtney thinks that because she has money, it's irrelevant whether the dickhead father sticks around. She may be right, as it seems dickhead Dissick is never around anyway. But yeah, quit making kids when you're clearly bringing them into a screwed up, unhappy relationship!
Submitted by Get Serious on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 2:50pm.
Can we make your post into Anti-Kuntrashian fliers to pass around?
Just a suggestion for number one: "fucking around with a possible cryptid, likely a horny and desperate Yeti."
Boring, gross family!
*kiddies are cute though*
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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"Every afternoon, Scott and Lamar gather in PMK's backyard and help Bruce Jenner look for his nuts."
MK, you are too much! LMAO
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No escapin' when I start
Once I'm in, I own your heart.
She has such ugly offspring. Her eldest son always makes me wince with horror.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
If this ugly photo came with sound:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5MzKgda3q4
Is it wrong to say that her oldest has a mouth like a monkey...then again one of his aunts is sasquatch sooooo...also her newest bundle of future member to pimp out for fame isn't adorable as well...
Why can't people stop watching these assholes? I mean really, you can't really blame these douchebags on their own. Their shit show gets ratings meanings someone is watching that mess. So really, the general population as a whole can be blamed these idiots still making pointless wealth.
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"What if all you understand could fit into the center of a hand? And then you found it wasn't you, who held the sum of everything you knew?"
So some rich,entitled, useless loser squirts out a couple brats who likely will be useless, entitled losers and we're supposed to care? Pfft.
Go away.
Oh Snowpiece, I liked your Angie joke! I've only just seen it!
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:20pm
When my daughter was born at 4 lbs, 13 oz, preemie, hair on her back and a real conehead--her aunt said she looked like ET. Well, she sort of did:) She is now a beautiful young woman.
Good thing she lost that back hair:)
Submitted by SandwichQueen on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 4:13pm
Lol I'm sure cats are way easier than kids too:)
Submitted by can be a pushy broad on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:09pm.
I didn't have my kid until I was 30. I thought
something was wrong with me because I had no
desire to have a kid. None. Then all of a sudden, that clock must have hit or something because all I started seeimg were kids and wanting one.
I'll have to be honest---Dogs are way easier:)
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WHAT?!?!?! Now I'm going to have nightmares about suddenly wanting a child in the future! Blech! Don't quash my dreams of becoming a crazy cat lady!
Submitted by bitchSpray on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 2:46pm.
i'm more interested in that jen's private angelina joke
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LOL - I thought the same exact thing -- glad someone else said it:)
what a fucking ugly baby and kid. trash. hate em all.
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
the other day TMZtv called Bruce a "henpecked lesbian" I am still laughing!
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"Shut up, brain!" I replied. "You're not the boss of me! Come on, vagina! Let's get out of here, away from the party pooper trying to ruin our fun."
She couldn't put that baby in a cuter outfit and I don't know try and get a picture taken when the baby is AWAKE? That's an ugly ass cover and Scott ain't da pappy of Mason.
Submitted by TexnDoc on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 12:23pm.
Speaking of Bruce Jenner searching for his nuts, I wonder if during this Olympics if he expected NBC to be interested in his commentary or is he now 100% ridiculous? Please don't tell me they've had him on if he has been.
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I read several Olympic articles on how hard he has fallen and how low he has become. How he is no longer known by many as an Olympian but as Mr. Kardashian. So there was no positive spin on him at all - just poking fun at him.
Sad, really, but he made his bed.
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Dark-sided!
Good lord!! Those children are hideous. Not an ounce of cuteness in them.
i need a Scott Disick
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http://tinyurl.com/69rcrqy
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:20pm.
When my grandniece was born (yes, I said grandniece) she looked like a potatoe bug...two months later she now looks like a potatoe with googly eyes. Everyone was gushing and going on how BEAUTIFUL she was...I just smiled. I'm sorry I couldnt!
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No shade from me. People will post pics of their newborn on FB and everyone gushes 'SO BEAUTIFUL!!!'. The baby will look like fresh silly putty in a blanket! Ridiculous.
I'm sick of these people!
Please go away! I hate you Ryan Seacrest!
Not a very good photo, is it? US Magazine is just phoning it in these days. I say "these days" like there was once a time when US Magazine gave a shit/qualified as legitimate journalism.
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
1) One daughter is the bastard love child of her mother's fucking around behind the back of her husband.
2) One daughter spread her legs twice, got knocked up & had bastard children with a dude she won't marry.
3) One daughter calculatedly released a sex tape of herself taking a load in the face & being pissed on, so she could make money & get attention. All the while faking tears & lying about how "there's no sex tape", then "one does exist, but it'll never be seen by anyone", then "they're forcing me to release the tape without my permission!" while being paid millions.
4) The mother happily fucked another man while still married to her then husband, which she gleefully wrote about in an autobiography she wrote to make money. She is now apparently having an affair with the same man while married to her current husband.
5) Her current husband used to be a macho man, "The World's Greatest Athlete", but has since had 3 face lifts, various plastic surgeries, wears earrings & is a pussy whipped shell of a loser.
There they are: the Whoretrashians. The family Ryan Gaycrest promotes as American Royalty. With pathetic losers like this being shoved down everyone's throats, it's no wonder the rest of the world looks down their nose at America...
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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
I. T. A.
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Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
i'm more interested in that jen's private angelina joke
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:29pm.
Apparently, USC Law School isn't aware of his plans to attend their school.
LOL I heard this on GMA. What a dufus.
Ugggh that's the cover pic !!!
What the heck were they thinking ?!
US mag should ask pmk for a refund on the deal now how is that ugly mess gonna sell a weekly rag ? It would frighten my budgie if I lined his birdcage with this cover but I'm sure he would improve the photo in no time.
"If it were socially acceptable I would esconce myself in velvet. " George Costanza
I had two kids and my husband changed one diaper total. I guess this makes me feel better now!
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www.dungeonhordes.com
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Evil: You know, it makes sense that they are not married. PMK is probably forbidding it, hoping she can line up a "better" man for Kourtney and trying to keep the $$ in the family. And we only see what the show's editors let us. I know for a fact that they edit with clear angles.
He's no prize, but maybe we aren't getting a clear picture of the way things are.
And as far as motherhood goes, it's scary as hell. I think Mother Nature designed it so that the urge to procreate is strong enough to overpower the practical considerations. Otherwise, we'd have been extinct eons ago. It's ridiculous.
Couldn't they use a better pic? Kourtney looks drugged, Mason looks like he rides the short bus, and the baby looks like she's taking a dump. WTF is with the granny collared, Goodwill nightgown she has on, or the cheap ass looking, ill fitting onesie the baby is wearing?
Granma Kris at this moment is brokering her grandaughters first porn tape.
I'm surprised she has something so simple and plain on this little girl. I'd expect alot more from those fashion whores. The baby is cute ...and I see nothing wrong with her head size.
LOLZ cuppy, what a dumb dumb, and he's the smart one of the family
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"Shut up, brain!" I replied. "You're not the boss of me! Come on, vagina! Let's get out of here, away from the party pooper trying to ruin our fun."
If the cover of this magazine doesnt clarify to Scott where he stands in this "family" .. then I dont know what will. Regardless of whether or not they are married - he is in a relationship with her and these are his kids. It should've been a family shot. But we know it's not Scott's mug that brings in the almighty dollar - so sit in the corner jackass.
As for her comment about nothing preparing her for falling so hard in love with her daughter...I understand what she's saying. From my own experience, the love you feel for your first born is usually tremendous - you almost wonder if you can feel that kind of euphoria with another child. That's probably why she seems surprised by her own emotions towards this baby. I doubt she lacked love for her son.
As for lazy ass Scott not changing diapers - bitch better do something to earn his keep. Freeloading son of a bitch cant even change a diaper? WTF?
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http://www.starpulse.com/news/index.php/2012/08/08/usc_officials_perplex...
Apparently, USC Law School isn't aware of his plans to attend their school.
Submitted by can be a pushy broad on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:09pm.
I admire you mom's who can make that life long commitment, because I just couldn't. I am fine taking care of pets and myself, but I just couldn't imagine the worry about health, school, keeping them safe, hoping they aren't serial killers, drugs, all that shit.
I don't know how you all do it.
Plus, I just don't have the mommy chip. Kids are cool for a visit, but after a few hours, see ya!
Submitted by can be a pushy broad :
I heard on the news the am that Rob? the son is starting law school at USC this fall. Why do I feel he got in on his notoriety rather than his Lsats. I want to say "good for him" but I sort of think he didn't earn his spot.
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Agreed. If he didn't get in on brains (HA!) then he'll wash out soon enough. Of course he'll spin it as "I just want to focus on my sock line right now." Pffft! :D
Submitted by can be a pushy broad on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:19pm.
I heard on the news the am that Rob? the son is starting law school at USC this fall. Why do I feel he got in on his notoriety rather than his Lsats. I want to say "good for him" but I sort of think he didn't earn his spot.
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Dont worry. As soon as he has to use some brain thankin', he'll drop out.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
When my grandniece was born (yes, I said grandniece) she looked like a potatoe bug...two months later she now looks like a potatoe with googly eyes. Everyone was gushing and going on how BEAUTIFUL she was...I just smiled. I'm sorry I couldnt!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
I heard on the news the am that Rob? the son is starting law school at USC this fall. Why do I feel he got in on his notoriety rather than his Lsats. I want to say "good for him" but I sort of think he didn't earn his spot.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 11:28am.
"it was pure hell, her dress was made out of recycled toilet paper and they made us eat straw
Hi Whammo. You crack me up.eat straw!!!!!
Oh, what beautiful children these two aren't!
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"You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
If you are willing to accept money for putting your children in the media, you'd better expect people to state their opinion on how ugly dumb they are!