There's No Room At The American Idol Judges Table For Mimi's Ego AND Nicki's Ego
Nicki Minaj will be a judge on American Idol over Mimi's exquisitely preserved dead body lying in a Hello Kitty coffin covered with bouquets made of butterfly wings. Nicki is apparently the frontrunner to replace Steven Tyler on American iDull, because the producers believe this season they'll get a huge amount of contestants who sound like possessed, constipated hyenas when they rap and Nicki is the only one who can accurately judge them. But Mimi does not approve and wants to be the only one with a vagina (there goes the Kanye rumor) at the judge's table. Basically, Mimi is being Mimi.
Mimi slammed her opulent pink French phone down when the producers of Idol called to tell her that they're thinking of Fraggle-ing up the table by adding Nicki. That's what TMZ says anyway. Their source says that Mimi wants to be the only female judge, and also wants to be the only one who looks like a human Poochie doll. The producers kind of agree with Mimi and if they hire Nicki, they're also going to hire a second dude judge to even out the peen to poon ratio. The producers are also afraid that they'll lose the KKK demographic if all of the judges are black, so they're also talking to Keith Urban, Brad Paisley and Enrique Iglesias.
The producers shouldn't worry about dumb racist Americans, because Nicki will be completely white by the time shooting starts in a couple of months.
But seriously, next season of American Idol should be all about the judges and only the judges. Who cares about those singing brats with guitars who want to fulfill their dreams of having the #165 album on Amazon and becoming the #8 musical act on the county fair circuit. Once you've seen one singing brats stupid dreams come true, you've seen them all. All cameras should be focused only on the judge's table, because when Mimi and Nicki eventually rip each other apart until all that's left is a pink weave track and a puddle of liquid glitter, I need to see it from every angle.
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If they bring Nicki Minaj, I'm sorry, but it's going to be too ghetto. If Simon was still here, there's no way she would be up for consideration.
american idol stinks ever since that doughgirl won over the gay face in the first season, i was referring to abdul and seacrest....ahahahaha im funny.
no seriously, i want to jam a t-rex dinosaur dick up seacrest's grand canyon but im afrraid he might enjoy it.
but SHE CAN'T SING and has no talent. I stopped watching this fucked up show after Glamberace lost.
Its not that Mimi doesnt like Nicki its just that the American Idol execs are blowing her butterfly budget on Nicki's wig demands. Every time Mariah sings a note to upstage a contestant 100 live butterflies need to be released.
Come on Mimi, you could just decline the work... nobody cares about the judges anymore, ditch this Mother...
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Ugggh, who cares. American Idol is so boring. I just cannot watch it. Ridiculous.
I remember I watched the first season, mostly because my Mom was interested in it. It was really terrible - even then.
I say just cancel this crap. Sick of it!
Mariah looks like Tiny Cottle in this picture. Not good.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
Why would Mariah replace J.Lo? Doesn't she hate that bitch? Why would she sit in a chair that has had J.Lo's huge assprint in it already? Why the fuck would they put Nicki with Mariah? Why the fuck is Nicki needed for the show? And most importantly why is American Idol still running?
Gong Show, Let's make a Deal, Match Game, best shit ever on TV.
Submitted by Gigaboob on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 3:59pm.
Submitted by zomay on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 3:55pm.
Anyone from old school match game with the old school pen and flash cards!! Now that is must see tv....Charles Nelson Reilly with hand written sentiments.
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LOL! I'd rather watch the Gong Show than this."
At least the Gong Show was entertaining. And the contestants were self-aware enough to know that they were goofballs and being laughed at b
Gigaboob, yes! When people knew their "talent" was a good laugh and not the next world super star.
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Worrying is using your imagination
to create something you don’t want.
yes I iz, yes I iz, somebody please tell her all the fucks I give... I wouldn't let that no talent hack judge a freakin hot dog eating contest... Although, I'm sure she would have valuable input on how to get as many weiners down your throat faster than anyone....
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rly1ZZ076G8&feature=related ~ Kenny Powers
Neither Kanye West nor Nicki Minaj will be signed unless Randy Jackson steps down. That's because the T.V. Executives that produce this shit show believe America will not watch a show with three black judges. At least that's what the guy that writes on CDAN said this morning. Which is, if true of course, complete bullshit. But then, these same T.V. Executives are keeping this shit show on the air so yea....
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 4:00pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 3:57pm.
Are they going to have to construct two new chairs, one for Nicki's great big giant fucking ASS, the other for Mimi's great big giant fucking EGO.
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I've always said that the planet might be knocked off its axis if Kanye and Kim Kartrashian decide to reproduce....this meeting of the egos will knock it back on track.
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It's a Yin and Yang thing lol!
And Wtf does Nicki know about music?
@Submitted by catfight357 on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 3:42pm.
Did anyone happen to see this on TMZ????
"And there's one other thing ... Sources connected with the show say they're worried ... if the judges end up being Mariah, Nicki and Randy ... middle America might not welcome the blackout."
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While I didn't use the word "blackout", I did say that unless American Idol is looking to land a Jennifer Hudson 2.0 to make them look like hit makers again, that judge line-up is not going to go down well with their demo. Maybe they're willing to shed 50% of their audience to get a talent they can pimp for years.
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami
the show has jumped the couch because they have shifterd the focus off the singers and onto the judges. That's because they want to get backall the chatter that Simon had. But Simom is a record exec who tells it how it is. He was the one who had to sign these people. These artists that are dying to get on Idol are doing it for PR. so they can show off everyweek as if it's their show. It's just another feather in their cap on their way to the next gig. Besides what entertainers out there is REALLY interested in finding the next great star? A person who might make them irrelevant? I don't think so. A record exec is ALWAYS looking for the next big thing though..so Randy being on there makes sense.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 3:57pm.
Are they going to have to construct two new chairs, one for Nicki's great big giant fucking ASS, the other for Mimi's great big giant fucking EGO.
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I've always said that the planet might be knocked off its axis if Kanye and Kim Kartrashian decide to reproduce....this meeting of the egos will knock it back on track.
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SANTO DIOS! PRAISE HAY-SOOS CREASE-TOE!
Submitted by zomay on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 3:55pm.
Anyone from old school match game with the old school pen and flash cards!! Now that is must see tv....Charles Nelson Reilly with hand written sentiments.
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LOL! I'd rather watch the Gong Show than this.
No shake-up in the line-up is going to save AI.
Probably why I have stuck with Dlisted for so long. We are the modern day match game panel. Mixed with the old men on the Muppet show.
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Worrying is using your imagination
to create something you don’t want.
Are they going to have to construct two new chairs, one for Nicki's great big giant fucking ASS, the other for Mimi's great big giant fucking EGO.
Oh ya and there will be some people singin and shit but that really doesn't matter cause it's all about the judges with this POS karaoke contest and the contestants are irrelevant the second they turn the lights at the end of the contest anyway.
Who won last year by the way?...don't worry I'll wait........ exactly that's my point!
Team Mimi! Better a talented diva than an untalented one.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Submitted by Whatever on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 3:51pm.
They should just cancel this show already.
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This. Who still watches this crap? Honestly.
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SANTO DIOS! PRAISE HAY-SOOS CREASE-TOE!
I hope Mimi smacks the beyotch down with all the wrath of Hello Kitty. I can't STAND Nicki Minaj.
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SANTO DIOS! PRAISE HAY-SOOS CREASE-TOE!
Anyone from old school match game with the old school pen and flash cards!! Now that is must see tv....Charles Nelson Reilly with hand written sentiments.
...............................
Worrying is using your imagination
to create something you don’t want.
Can someone explain to me why a show that is supposed to be about singing talent doesn't actually hire judges who can sing?! Paula Abdul, JLo, Kara Diawhatever, even Ellen at one point (a comedian!) And now that inflated ass and ego Nicki Minaj? I don't get it. Why not bring back contestants who went on to be successful from the show as judges i.e. Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood Daughtry.
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"I was half a virgin when I met him!"
-Mean Girl,Regina George
Manaj can't sing and she's deaf....
Who is watching this show anymore? Nicki really has no talent but I'm not sure if that's a requirement I mean, they had Paula Friggen Abdul as a judge. Her only skillset in the past decade was the ability to sit upright while drinking that coke cup filled with gin. Should I be embarassed to admit, I'd might take a looksee if they put Enrique in a judge's seat. I know he's a cheeseball but I can't help it.
They should just cancel this show already.
Ya know what? Give Mimi what Mimi wants. All fuckery aside, she's probably the only ho to ever sit at that table that can actually carry a tune (my boo Steven Tyler aside). And maybe Nicki will blast back with some silly preschool rhymes like she's prone to. Bitch got owned in her own song with Eminem. 'nough said!
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Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.
Call me when Nypsy Russell comes back from heaven to judge. Then and only then will I watch.
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Worrying is using your imagination
to create something you don’t want.
M.E. priorities bitch!! You really expect Mimi to downgrade to FAUX mink eyelashes just so a few police officers can keep their jobs? Heartless.
Submitted by rukiddingme on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 3:40pm.
@Terri - did you mean Leann Womack? She's the one who sang "I hope you dance."
YES! Thank you...with the endless ragging on Rimes, she's the only Leeann I can think of!!
i'd rather the show have a nice person and not a bitchfest between the judges.
I had heard tha Idol really wanted Keith Urban but he's doing The Voice in Australia, which is a way better show...
Asking Nicki Minaj about what's good in music is like asking Jeffery Dahmer what's good for dinner.
she doesn't sing, she's a bitch she's a joke (talking about manaje)
This show is supposed to be about the up and coming singers and NOT the hos who are judging. Who the hell watching a show for the judges ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!
Did anyone happen to see this on TMZ????
"And there's one other thing ... Sources connected with the show say they're worried ... if the judges end up being Mariah, Nicki and Randy ... middle America might not welcome the blackout."
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 3:29pm.
You make a lot of good points, M.E. The entertainment industry (if you can call it that anymore) should really evaluate the compensation they pay to these 'stars.' This trick, the Kardashians, Justin Bieber, etc. are all wiping their asses with all the money they make - yet state and municipal governments are crumbling all around us. It just doesn't seem right. Yet they say they're all Democrats. I find that hard to believe.
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
@Terri - did you mean Leann Womack? She's the one who sang "I hope you dance."
What's more sad than the fact that 10,000 animals got euthanized today? The fact that because of the ignorance of humans, it will happen again tomorrow. End the cycle. Spay and neuter your pets & please adopt your next pet from a shelter.
TMZ says that Kanye is in talks to be a judge on American Idol.
Time to change the show title to American Ego
The only thing I know about Nicki Minaj other than her Lisa Frank fashion sense, is that she has that annoying as fuck Pepsi commercial.
Mariah is a good person on be at the judges table. She is talented and I think has the capacity to give advice that will guide the contestants.
Why not pick someone from the Country Music scene? I'd love to see Darius Rucker on there. How about Leeann whats-her-name (not Rimes)? She's down to doing Zaxby's commercials so she'd be up for it. I'd LOVE to see John Rich on there...but they can't afford him.
I predict there will be lots of camera shots from behind the judges table.
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You can't be pregnant. That rape was legitimate.
Cuppy - that fact they're paying Mooriah $18 million dollars is fucking disgusting. Bitch is already a millionaire several times over, she doesn't need $18 million dollars. AND Californian is BROKE! $18 Million dollars could fund the emergency services that are being closed down with tons of fire fighters, police officers and EMT's now out of work.
I mean, CLOSING DOWN POLICE DEPARTMENTS. Not good, especially with the rise of gang activity.
Say you're having a heart attack and call 911? Sorry, since they closed down the local fire department, the closest fire truck can't be on scene for 35-50 minutes. But hang tight!
*kicks puppy*
Cancel it already.
Now Kanye West is in talks to be a fucking judge! Pull the plug NOW!!!!!!!!
The "opulent French pink phone" must be something, because it's 'forbidden'. Now I have to see it!