Bill & Giuliana Didn't Waste Any Time Either
It only took Snooki a grand total of 6 days to push her newborn guidoling onto the cover of a magazine and Giuliana and Bill Rancic didn't beat her record, but they still didn't waste any time. Just two weeks after a leased baby oven birthed out Giuliana and Bill's first kid in Denver, the two collected that check by debuting Edward Duke to those who care on the cover of Life & Style. Guess what? Edward Duke looks just like a baby. Since most just-out-of-the-womb humans are a little Benjamin Button-ish in the face for the first few weeks, Edward Duke looks like my abuelita taking a 4pm nap. And just like my abuelita, he's got his slappin' hand ready just in case he needs to smack a brat who tries to wake him.
Giuliana said that they named their son Edward after both of their fathers and gave him the middle name Duke, because it means "leader" and because if he ever wants to be the captain of a New England university lacrosse team, he'll have the name for it. Giuliana then said a bunch of words parents usually say to celebrity magazines after their kid is born:
"I had always heard that when you have a baby it completes your life -- and it's true. I'd never changed more than a diaper or two in my life. Now it's like the littlest things that make me happy -- happier than I've ever been. I couldn't believe that all those years of struggling and the tears actually paid off. Every shot, every doctor's visit -- in the end, when you're holding your baby in your arms, you forget it all, and it's worth it."
I know all newborns always keep their tiny eyes closed, but methinks Edward Duke is keeping his tiny eyes closed something extra. Because he knows that if he opens them up, he'll be blinded by the bright white shininess shooting off of his parents' 200 watt veneers. Can't they turn those TEEFS down? Edward is trying to sleep. Or Edward Duke could be keeping his eyes shut, because he doesn't want to open them and see that vomit-inducing Tommy Girl blurb.
And Giuliana and Bill will be hearing from Scientology's lawyers, because Kelly Preston totally has the phrase "miracle baby" trademarked.
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Congratulations for Giuliana and Bill! I guess both are happy enough with their new guest. Thanks for sharing a lovely experience. Good luck for Duke! http://www.haveababyhelp.com/
Yikes. Between the dead souless eyes, real cornithan leather skin, and giant rows of Chicklets for teef, I'm going to have nightmares.
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Shiitake happens...
Submitted by Deb on Wed, 09/12/2012 - 5:09pm.
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No tomatoes Deb, lol. I don't follow these two AT ALL but yeah, cancer struggles are a bitch. Remission and the new baby are a double blessing. ☺
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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How did Life & Style find the only non-smiling pic of Kate EVER!? How?
"Edward Duke looks like my abuelita taking a 4pm nap." - hahahahahhaha he's a baby Popeye.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Did she actually birth that kid out herself? She always seem to be uber-obsessed with her weight and physical appearance. Interesting.
I applaud her for getting through the cancer treatments. I really do.
However, her personality is just standard-Hollywood. Lots of desperation, lots of phony-baloney, and lots of famewhoring. Not really interested.
I agree with MK - the kid is just a kid. Very cute, but just a baby. I have seen many. My sister has THREE...I have done my fair share of changing diapers and feeding. It's not really that spectacular. I hate it when people say they enjoy the little things. Just be honest - it sucks. However, the baby is special and yours, so it is worth it. You just try to do potty training ASAP - my sister did!
I'm obviously in the minority here, but I like Giuliana. I've only really seen her on Fashion Police (guilty pleasure), and have read about her struggles to get pregnant and then with cancer. She seems pretty genuine, although courting the K's puts a bad taste in my mouth.
I wish the best to the new family. *ducks tomatoes*
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Why are the Rancids even celebrities? People who are barely literate and can't act or sing are famous and getting paid? I blame Ryan Seacrest for this.
Can't stand this woman and her stupid husband. Wish they would fuck off already.
"Because he knows that if he opens them up, he'll be blinded by the bright white shininess shooting off of his parents' 200 watt veneers. Can't they turn those TEEFS down?"
I am DEAD.
Submitted by Twat Muffin: "Did you hear that Fugliana is now looking to PMK for parenting advice? This bobble head wants to latch onto the KarTRASHian gravy train now."
Well, Ghouliana is part of the "E!" family, so she has to kiss up to the Kartrashians. But she's such a famewhore herself, she probably DOES want some pimp advice. You know, like which doctor will do breast and butt implants on minors, and what to charge if a john wants to do something that might leave a mark. Stuff like that.
Ugh these two.
Submitted by Brown-EyedGirl: "I hope there are pics when the baby's old enough to grab onto her ratty extensions."
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
GG -- and with Fugliana as the baby's mama, most likely the child will grow up to be ugly. The ugly genes in that family are strong; they're absolutely beastly.
And the other news, pippa embarassed kate!! what did pippa do? Did Pippa get drunk at a royal function and hit on Prince Philip?!! i bet you she did!! i bet Prince Pervy Philip was like "ohh my look those scrumptious muffins! may I?"
and Pippa was all like "yah blimey grab em puppies there luv and shiver me timbers GRANDPA yerr h-eands are cold!!!"
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Wed, 09/12/2012 - 1:17pm.
they've shown her before with little makeup on
those surgery reality shows make me nauseous if i pass one flipping channels. i'd rather watch an hour of one of those than see giuliana rancid having makeup applied
*makes mental note to never ever look at celebitchy again*
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Who cares about this sick figure and her ugly baby...what's up with Kate and Pippa?
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
And i bring the attention back to the other news.
Cammie and tommy hot steamy date? that could be two things, 1. they went to Shanghai Dumpling House and had dumplings, 2. they went to a day sauna retreat.
Submitted by Migraineuse on Wed, 09/12/2012 - 11:02am.
Those who desperately want children: adopt. Those who can't love a kid unless it's got their own precious DNA? Are too selfish to be parents.
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Sorry, but adoption is neither easy nor cost effective. When you add up the cost of legal fees, travel, etc. fertility treatments are actually less expensive than adoption....and are sometimes partially covered by insurance, whereas adoption expenses are all out of pocket.
Speaking as someone who tried to adopt, the financial requirements are ridiculously expensive, plus you have to meet all the requirements of the country you're adopting from. Only the wealthy can afford adoption, and that's the sad part.
Thankfully we were able to conceive on our own, without fertility treatments. Other couples aren't so lucky.
Foxxy -- they've shown her before with little makeup on, like when she was ready to go into surgery and all. Bitch is hideous with & without makeup if you ask me. She's delusional -- I think she thinks she's cute either way. And she chooses the most unfortunate hairdos for that bobble/E.T. head of hers.
I haven't heard anything about NBC apologizing for the PMK appearance during what should have been a moment of silence. Check out celebitchy; there's pictures of PMK and her new bikini body.
OMG, who cares about the baby? Is Cameron Diaz so low that she's thinking of becoming Tommy Girl's next beard? I thought she made bank last year! I mean, that's pretty good for a 40-year-old in Hollywood. I know the money-making will go downhill from here, but surely she hasn't hit the rock bottom that is Co$ bearding. Wow.
@Twat - wait. they show her getting made-up?! they take the risk there might be an accidental camera shot of a portion of that mug sans fards sent out over the airwaves?! she is hideous even with troweled on makeup, cannot even imagine what lies beneath
yeah, you previously mentioned her thinking PMK is a parenting role model. smdh
OT: anyone know if NBC has explained why they put PMK on in lieu of the moment of silence?
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
@Twat Muffin on Wed, 09/12/2012 - 11:08am.
bill just comes across like a con artist who pretends to live the high life and just mooches around, and doesnt have a cent to his name. until olive head on a toothpick came along.
I hope there are pics when the baby's old enough to grab onto her ratty extensions.
Foxxy -- thanks, sweets. At least for the time being I've just made up my mind that I will find a good place and I will survive (just like Gloria Gaynor), LOL!
Did you hear that Fugliana is now looking to PMK for parenting advice? This bobble head wants to latch onto the KarTRASHian gravy train now. As much as I hate the Kardashians, at least most of them are fairly telegenic unlike this twat. You're right, there's nothing but emptiness here. And you should see when they have Fugliana in the chair getting her ready; they literally have five people twirling about her trying to make her look half-way decent. I heard she Google alerts herself; I have to go and type in "Giuliana Rancic ugly" on Google now -- got to get busy on the laptop!!!
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Wed, 09/12/2012 - 12:42pm.
good a.m., Twat! hope ur good (or at least things are getting better!! ;-))
completely agree. i see nothing to "respect" there. nothing. even PMK and her stable, Lohan, Jersey Shore, Housewives, you can find a leeeeetle respect for how they pimp their sleaze game. this one is just ... empty. and Seacrest et al must be contractually required to call her "beautiful." only possible explanation.
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
He looks like Fire Marshall Bill. She looks like.....her neck threw up.
kndall44: No, apparently this is from her egg and his sperm, and they just rented the baby oven:
http://www.examiner.com/article/giuliana-and-bill-rancic-reveal-new-pict...
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Visit The Freckle on Lindsay Lohan's Lip on Facebook.
Foxxy -- hey, love! Actually, I've heard the opposite about Fugliana. Haven't heard anything about Bill, but I've heard she's a raging cunt. Maybe she's nice to people on her own staff, but I can't see how she could be anything BUT a cunt. Fugliana thrives on people telling her great stuff, like "Giuliana you look so beautiful!" Anyone with half a brain can see that that E.T.-headed monster is ugly as sin and there's no way in hell she's anything but hideously ugly inside & out. At least if she came off nice, I could tolerate her, but she's so shallow, vapid & full of herself, that's the part that really gets to me. And Bill isn't much better either.
But what did Pipa do!!! Hurry didn't any body run out of milk? Go to the nearest grocery stote and find out. I can't with Juliana and her plan to get in shape after baby.
He looks happy to be there. I like how he has no involvement with her or the baby in this picture.
Really scraping the bottom of the celebrity barrel.
Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Wed, 09/12/2012 - 10:40am.
I know I'm in the minority, but I can't hate on Giuliana and Bill. My sister works with them and says they're very friendly. I'll take her word for it since she's cynical and not easily impressed by celebrities.
yes, there are actually very friendly people in this world. but, it's been my experience in many workplaces that the individuals who are best known for being friendly and funny tend to be the ones who are the least qualified for their jobs and dumb as fuck, but they use "niceness" and humor to hide that. and they get over. and at the other end of the spectrum are the competent but bitchy as fuck people who have to do their own work and also clean up after the shit created by the Bill and Giuliana people.
i just have a feeling these two asshats fall into THAT type of nice people...
as far as i'm concerned these two can both choke on a dirty diaper
p.s. Twat Muffin, you did not disappoint. i opened this thread just to find your comment, lol
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Feck the Rancids!! I want to know what Pippa did now. Seriously, she needs to marry Harry already so that they can really go crazy together and bring back some fun to palace like good ole mom Di and Aunt Fergie did ;)
** Salivating at the thought of Buckingham Palace turning into a chavtastic orgy **
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Kitten Kaboodle - a Disney ho who did the ho stroll right ;)
Eh, hate their famewhoring ways and think they're insufferable for it but can't hate on people wanting a child and getting one by acceptable means.
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If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.
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To get into technicalities - this kid was produced w/a donor egg & Bill's sperm, right? As she never could conceive w/her own?
Can you fathom the final cost here? 10+ rounds of failed IVF @ 12k-15k per, then a surrogate @ 50k minimum, plus expenses...
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My goodness, you are all so cynical!
Well, this IS Dlisted. Once my meds wear off in a couple hours I'll be joining you!
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by little_rascal on Wed, 09/12/2012 - 11:29am.
Wait what? Cameron Diaz and TommyGirl are dating?
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Calm down, whatever the article says it's most likely a mutual favor being done. Keeps her in the spotlight and shows that Tom is moving on (and normal.)
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You can't be pregnant. That rape was legitimate.
Mazel Tov!!
Now what did Pippa do??????
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
Wait what? Cameron Diaz and TommyGirl are dating?
Bil Rancic is looking a lot like Darrin Stephens these days.
WHO THE FUCK ARE THEY AND WHO THE FUCK CARES? MAYBE THE FUCKING MORONS WHO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THESE TALENTLESS FUCKS SHOULD SPEND MORE TIME WORKING OR WITH THEIR FAMILIES RATHER THAN BEING 'EXCITED' FOR SOMEONE WHO THEY DON'T KNOW AND SOMEONE WHO COULD GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THEM AND IS FOOLING THEM TO MAKE MONEY AND WHORE OUT THEIR NEWBORN CHILD....FUCK THEM AND THE DULLARDS WHO FOLLOW THESE FUCKERS!
She's a fucking ghoul. How she makes a living in front of a camera astounds me.
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
I somehow get the feeling that these people secretly could use the cash? Something odd about people eager to parade their young in front of cameras. There's a lot of bizarre people out there with bizarre ideas...why take the risk?
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"Dude is like a human version of a white, windowless van" - Michael K.
I'm more interested in "Cameron and Tom's sexy date night," frankly.
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SANTO DIOS! PRAISE HAY-SOOS CREASE-TOE!
I don't even know who these people are. And whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?! Cameron and Tom??!! Lemme look at the calender...there, it says September not 1 April!
What could Pippa possibly do to Kate?! Any guesses?
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
That's the BEST picture of the lot? This one made the cover? Damn...
I'll give the dude some credit for not pounding the Botox though. It's rather uncommon to see on a cover nowadays. But, Lawsies....those choppers on that pair.
cmc311 & loopy -- I agree with your assessments of Bill. Believe me, he sold his soul to the devil when he married this ugly, alien-headed twat. He didn't marry her because he was attracted to her or loved her; he only married her because at that time she was more famous than him & had connections. Yep, he's that shallow. Loopy, that word sums him up, "dodgy."
She looks like she's clenching her teeth, like she can't stand doing whatever she is doing.
I hope she feeds her kid actual...you know...food. Because she clearly doesn't eat much of it herself.
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SANTO DIOS! PRAISE HAY-SOOS CREASE-TOE!
EC -- here I am! Ugh, not these two again! I'm surprised that kid doesn't have a fucking huge noggin like old bobble-headed mama. I'm glad the kid is healthy and seemingly normal-looking, but with the genetics coming from mama Rancid, god only knows what's in store for this poor kid. He could have an E.T.-sized head in about 5 years. Has anyone seen Fugliana's sister & her kids? Beasts, absolute beasts!!! I'm sorry, I absolutely despise these vapid, shallow twits. I wonder what these two are going to whip out of their asses to stay relevant. Now that the kid has been born, they're going to have to come up with some other shit. I wonder what Bill's girlfriend in Chicago thinks about this shit. He's just as vapid as Fugliana.