Hot Slut Of The Day!
Mama June's signature sketti sauce, which she showed us all how to make on last night's very special Top Chef: Trailer Parker episode of soon-to-be Television Hall of Fame inductee Here Comes Honey Boo Boo!
When Mama June's backyard cooler is fresh out of ground roadkill meat, she feeds her family one of their favorite gourmet dishes: sketti noodles covered with a delicious butter and ketchup sauce. With her sous chef Julia Honey Boo Boo Child at her side, Mama June mixed half-a-tub of Country Crock with a lot of ketchup and melted it in the microwave until it smelled and looked like what came out during Paula Deen's inaugural menstrual cycle. Throw a bag of white bread from the Wonder Bread outlet on the table and dinner is served!
One of my favorite things to eat as a kid that's still one of my favorite things to NOM NOM on is spaghetti noodles drowned in butter and a full thing of Kraft grated parmesan cheese. Just like me, it's easy, greasy and will leave you feeling farty in your stomach bag. But even though sluts always scream at me to try it with Heinz, I never have. Thanks to the culinary genius of Mama June, I'm totally going to broaden my gourmet palate by trying it with Heinz and I'm totally going to serve it with my piece of my trash nachos (Nabisco saltines with melted Kraft singles on top) and garlic bread (a toasted hot dog bun dipped in melted butter and rolled in garlic salt).
Watch and learn if you haven't already:
You know that is what lands in front of you when you order the chef's menu at the Olive Garden in Appalachia.
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I used to hate it when I'd tell my kids "Go tell Daddy dinner's ready" and they shout "Daddy! Dinner's ready!!" at the top of their lungs. I could have done that myself, thankyouverymuch! (The oldest 3 are old enough to know better now - the baby's only 3.)
That "sketti sauce" is horrifying, but I allowed my kids (again, the oldest 3) to toss a noodle at the wall when we had pasta. It's not hard to clean up (just wipe it down right afterwards) and it's a fun memory they have.
Never, EVER allowed feet (bare or otherwise) on the counters.
I love that little girl, she's so funny and clever.
"No matter how cynical you become, it's impossible to keep up." - Lily Tomlin
Submitted by SandwichQueen on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 7:42pm.
@Bizzarelife I'm in a really precarious situation these days, my mom drinks a lot and I'm trying to get money together to get my own place for me and my cats. I've been hugely depressed, anxious and stressed lately. Today I'm just really depressed and having a hard time getting through.
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@ SandwichQueen - Hang in there! You'll feel better and be in a better situation soon, I promise! My mom's an alcoholic and growing up with that whole family dynamic was very, very sucky. I feel your pain. But it WILL get better once you get out of there. Just hang on and know the rest of the world is not like that and you will find happiness there...
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"When in doubt, freak 'em out" -- Sharon Needles
[in best crackie/crocker/twihard voice]:
Leave Honey Boo Boo Alone!
LOL, I love these guys. So, they don't live like you. Just relax. Everyone does something in private that, if America saw it, would gross out or offend someone. "OMG, they hang their toilet paper with the end in front, what phillistines! I'm going to protest the network". Har!
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"When in doubt, freak 'em out" -- Sharon Needles
Whamo - I live in Tennessee and people are allowed to eat roadkill here, though I believe it only applies to wild animals you've "accidentally" hit with your car. The thinking is that it's a waste of good meat otherwise and it's the least that can be done after your car has been totaled, lol. However, the closest I've come to anyone eating their roadkill is a good friend from Michigan who told me that whenever a deer was hit up there the person would call all of his friends and family so that dead Bambi could be collected, gutted, and ground up as quickly as possible. Apparently roadkill goes bad really fast. When I read "Into the Wild" I noted that the same thing happened with the moose the guy shot in Alaska.
Submitted by SandwichQueen on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 7:42pm.
@Bizzarelife I'm in a really precarious situation these days, my mom drinks a lot and I'm trying to get money together to get my own place for me and my cats. I've been hugely depressed, anxious and stressed lately. Today I'm just really depressed and having a hard time getting through.
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Don't let the sads bring you down. There IS a light at the end of the tunnel. The minute you let the sads and stress get you, that is when things go bad. Do what you have to do, to get through the tough days, because you KNOW there will be brighter days ahead.
I think we all have been through some rough times here, and from experience, they do get better, so please keep that in mind. If you were in my town, you could move into my vacant rental home in a heartbeat.
(((((hugs)))))))
Submitted by Stoney on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 6:57pm.
Is honey boo boo pregnant yet?
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LOL!
Submitted by little_rascal on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 6:13pm.
Submitted by BreakinMe on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 3:58pm.
Your little ginge puppy is adorable and funny! What kind of breed is that? Reminds a chow chow.
Ruby is a Pomeranian/Jack Russell mix. She's just about four months old.
@Bizzarelife I'm in a really precarious situation these days, my mom drinks a lot and I'm trying to get money together to get my own place for me and my cats. I've been hugely depressed, anxious and stressed lately. Today I'm just really depressed and having a hard time getting through.
Is honey boo boo pregnant yet?
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
govt_cheese -- what's that that Joel McHale says, "I watch so you don't have to"??? That's exactly what MK & I do so we can spare you the experience. It truly is mind-numbing, but you know what? It's not any worse than watching the Kardashians with their awful, vapid, shallow selves. At least there's affection in this family, I'll give them that. But I do agree with Bizarrelife about Boo Boo's behavior. My mom would have tanned my hide for putting feet, barefoot or not, on a counter and for throwing spaghetti on a cabinet, and for yelling like that. And yeah, Boo Boo can be pretty darn bratty.
Submitted by BreakinMe on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 3:58pm.
Your little ginge puppy is adorable and funny! What kind of breed is that? Reminds a chow chow.
Submitted by Dr. Dick on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 5:52pm.
They are four levels below white trash. What the hell is that called?
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The South.
She had her nasty bare feet on the counter when 'food' was being prepared? That's as far as I'm going with this trash.
Submitted by SandwichQueen on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 2:12pm.
I have a major case of the sads today Dlisters, I'm off to school but I'm bringing my laptop so I can still join in hate-filled comments.
Sandwich - why are you sad? Sorry - I am curious.
This is televised child abuse and NOT funny. That kid will need knee replacement surgery and bypass before she is out of her teens. l don't even know what to call them. They are four levels below white trash. What the hell is that called?
Submitted by BreakinMe on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 4:29pm.
@Breakin: I am jealous. What an adorable puppy! My boyfriend wants a dog - I am looking forward to getting one. I also want a kitty. The house is going to be pretty full very soon.
Hugs to Ruby!
I feel guilty for watching this clip. I have intentionally avoided this program - mainly because I feel like I lose IQ points whenever I watch something like this.
Needless to say, that little girl is an animal. What on earth is she doing walking on the kitchen countertop? If I had done anything like this as a child, my Mom would have slapped me in my butt and or face. My parents were pretty big on ensuring that I behaved - no behavior like this was welcome. Plus, she is kind of bratty.
Oh, here hell come with this one. I pray for humanity.
I'm not watching this show. Just watching this clip makes me feel like I'm seeing the de-evolution of mankind. Who the H comes up with these crappy recipes? Gat damn, that's nasty. My mother would've slapped me on the legs with a wooden spoon if she caught me standing on the counter - are we animals here? Throwing food at cabinets. And then standing in the kitchen and yelling for someone. Go find them, fatty, and bring them here. You can walk a few steps. I could never watch 1/2 an hour of this.
good god, where to start? First off, where is there a FOOT on the counter next to where she is preparing her "food"? Gross! Then the concoction itself is ridiculously gross and unhealthy. Throwing spaghetti to see if it sticks? Yes, it will stick when it's done, but there are other ways to tell without throwing food at your cabinets. Then Alana EATS the noodles off of that filthy cabinet. This was so disgusting.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Submitted by CokeyBloke on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 2:10pm.
LOLOLLLL!!!! I'm more inclined to have "I got this" as my famous last words...
Oh my forking god. FEET ON THE KITCHEN COUNTERS?!? *honks before I can even address the sketti issues*
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Ruby loves all the attention that she can get. If she met any of you, she'd run right up to you and want to give you kisses.
Rocket -- that's what I was thinking. In her extreme couponing, hasn't she run into coupons for free "sketti" sauce? It's got to be better than that crappy excuse for spaghetti sauce she's serving up. And believe me, those girls could do without all the extra calories; most of them are carrying quite a bit of extra chunk, especially Mama June & Boo Boo.
I can't think of roadkill without thinking of volunteering at an animal sanctuary and lifting up roadkill in the bag....realizing what I lifted up was the butt of a deer. No roadkill for me!
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Also, when you end a statement with "Kim Kardashian is fabulous," all your previous points are INVALID, because obviously you have lost your damn mind." - MK
Good lord... why are these people on tv? How embarassing.
And for the record, THAT is not fucking butter you dumb ass fat cow!!
estee -- even your beautiful chickie's turds are more useful than the entire Kardashian family. Hug your chickie for me!
BreakinMe -- OMG, Ruby is so cute; a hug & a kiss from Auntie Twat, okay?
No wonder why they are all fat.
She's evidently a huge couponer - so why doesn't she have shelves of free Ragu, etc?
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 4:24pm.
Submitted by BreakinMe on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 3:58pm.
For those who like cute animals, check out my little cute puppy in my av.
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That's your lil' pup? It's a cutie! *scratches behind ears*
Yeah, that is my little puppy. Her name is Ruby. Sweet little dog and totally fearless. Last night she walked right up to a 250lb Mastiff and wanted to play.
I just don't get it, a jar of generic pasta sauce is like a dollar. The ketchup and butter has got to cost more than that.
Submitted by BreakinMe on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 3:58pm.
For those who like cute animals, check out my little cute puppy in my av.
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That's your lil' pup? It's a cutie! *scratches behind ears*
DUH YOU SHOULD ONLY EAT CABBAGE AND CARROTS YOU FAT WORTHLESS HOMETOWN BUFFET ZOMBIES!
It pains me to think of all the gross crap I used to eat when I was younger. Steak-Umm and american cheese sammies (what are Steak-Umms even made of?!), deli ham fried in butter...I eat pretty clean these days, but that's easy as I live in SF and we have great food - the produce back in my home town was expensive as well as shitty.
The things I still give in to when I'm hormonal and having cravings are buttered egg noodles, and Triscuits with french onion dip. Mang, I dunno what it is about the combo of Triscuits and french onion dip but that shit is GOOD.
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 3:03pm.
SOS (Shit on a shingle) is the grossest shit I have EVER tasted.
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It is disgusting. But for someone who hates it, I have been told I make the best (used to make it for cheating ex, my other menz, and now my old man).
My ideal comfort food: ham and beans
Guilty pleasure: Unique Pretzels (made in my hometown http://www.uniquesplits.com/ - the cheese ones are fucking AWESOME) dipped in Philly cream cheese and chives, or graham crackers with vanilla frosting and rainbow sprinkles.
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
Feeds her family on $80 a week. Imprezzed.
Submitted by JTROS on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 3:20pm.
Our biggest event of the year was the church's Wild Game Dinner.
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We had a potluck like that once. I got to go on a rattlesnake roundup with my Dad. Like shooting fish in a barrel, except of course, it was snakes in a cave.
Rattler tastes like chicken.
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Why don't you dance with me? I'm not no limburger.
Last week I thought they were kind of cute but THIS not so much.
Feet on the counter is a deal breaker and the ketchup and margarine sauce tastes like negative bonus points.
For those who like cute animals, check out my little cute puppy in my av.
MK - If your not going to write a book anytime soon, how about a Dlisted culinary guide? xoxox
I was served deer all the time when I lived in West Virginia. I can only hope it was not roadkill. In spaghetti sauce, meatloaf, chili, etc. it tastes just like beef.
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"Brows should not look like a condiment!" -MK
Oh god MK that is one of your best and funniest postings in a long *ss time! Thank you for adding the sparkle in my eye and the happy in my little bitter heart! xoxoxox :)
Hi ya Twatty:
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 3:18pm.
Speaking of Kardashians and fat asses, check out this picture, peeps:
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I have a fat white Polish chicken that looks just like that only she is prettier and much more useful. She lays the nicest eggs!
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 2:41pm.
Submitted by Brown-EyedGirl on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 2:40pm
RAINMAN, helloooooo?
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OHHHH - LOL, my sons call me that all the time! I forgot that was his name ;)
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Wapner at 4!!
The town I grew up in didn't have any stop lights until I was in college (but we had 8 churches and 13 bars). I lived in the village (which was the "city" part), but had a dairy farm a block from my house. I was in the minority by NOT being in 4H, wearing shit-kickers (actually covered in shit), driving a big-ass truck with special mudflaps, or goin' huntin'. Our biggest event of the year was the church's Wild Game Dinner. Every kind of meat under the sun, all killed by the parishoners.
You should see the things these people bring in! I never eat the stuff because I'm not 100% sure if some of it isn't roadkill....
Speaking of Kardashians and fat asses, check out this picture, peeps:
http://www.celebitchy.com/251316/kim_kardashian_is_a_liberal_republican_...
Rocket, true dat!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Sketti and all - they still have more class than the Khardashians.
SOS (Shit on a shingle) is the grossest shit I have EVER tasted.
I'm still here. Ain't no keeping me away from the d-list.