Would You Hit It?
Here's mega man slut Jim Carrey in Malibu yesterday with a girl who isn't his daughter and looks so damn young she probably gets carded while trying to buy Gatorade. You nasty ole' bitch, Jim. Jim's new piece is probably all happy to be dating him, because she gets to drive in fancy cars, eat fancy foods in fancy restaurants and drink fancy drinks on the fancy side of Malibu. But wait until Jim throws a ginger wig on her head and makes her recite all of Emma Stone's lines from Easy A while he tongues her belly button. There's a price to pay for everything!
And, duh, I'd hit it. Look at those snow cone titties. You know how when you're making meringue (because you're ALWAYS making meringue) and the instructions say to whip until soft peaks form? That's what Jim's man chichis look like. Soft peaks in a bowl. So yeah, I'd hit it. But just try not to look at his torso if you're ever on top, because it does have a face and sometimes its face looks like it's judging you.
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I'd hit her, she's cute.
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his posture bugs me
Jim seems to be a 100% str8 realman tuna-tasting exclusive fishfucking hetero guy.
We would hit it ONLY if Jim's rumored sizemeat is a fact.
BTW, the stinkfish is icky....yuck!
He's a peepaw and a not-the-good-way, freak. Nope cannae do it.
Submitted by Granny Clampett on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 9:06am.
She's a supermodel compared to him. He's going to need a lot of $$ to get hotter gold diggers. Youth and good looks don't come cheap. Why should they?
Better yet, advice Jim to wear a condom. They're over 99% effective AND they prevent the spread of HIV and STD's.
Seems like he may drool when he sleeps or at anytime really. So absolutely not.
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"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."
He was the posterboy for 1990s ADHD cos every kid was copying and relating. Poor thing must get tired. I think he is a legend but after his Ace Ventura style stuff he seemed to get serious and maybe they didn't want hin to be. The dude was the riddler. I'd hit it if his room had ???s
Stubby legs, flat ass, average face, her tits are smaller than his. meh... Jim Carrey has enough $$ he could get hotter gold diggers than this. My advice to baby girl....poke some holes in that diaphram of yours, forget to take your pill, tell him you're 100% positive you're not ovulating so it's safe to go bareback...getting my drift? Golden opportunity, don't blow it!!
"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West
Ugh, I'm so sick of this shit. Why does every old fart think they're young hot shit and therefore go after all the young hot shit? You're old, play with people your age! And WTF is wrong with the younger people? Daddy and mommy issues the lot of them.
Whamo-- that was a great description!
Great read first thing in the am.
I immediately thought of Seinfeld and the retirement community where Jerry's folks are at.
I watch too many re-runs. :-P
Well, time for the Metamucil. ha!
Have an excellent day!!
Submitted by Mel-Tang on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 12:58am.
Within....I wake up with that in my mind every morning; I still think I'm in my 20's and hot!
Then I try to get out of bed and it all goes downhill. ;) Haha
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Ok. Who are you and how did you get into my house???? XD
OMG...my life, duplicated!! Aging sucks!
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"Birds are doomed when pussies can fly"- MK
Why is the time never accurate when it's shows up on the comments, according to my BB its 1:57
1/2 hour difference, is that normal, I thought it would be 1 full hour?
Kittymuffin, I wish I could wake up without the alarm. LOL as a matter of fact I have one IN ADDITION to the one on my phone, hahaaha I'd never wake up otherwise. ;p
Night all, It's good to see ya Kittymuffin!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Gnight Mel-Tang. Figured you were off the 'puter so didn't say it ;)
Within...Haha!
My alarm is my phone and I hate it. I wake up on my own right before it goes off (another thing that happens when you get old...Lol) so I don't have to hear it. Lol
I am the so way.I sleep with it under my pillow
K..hurry up Whammy!!! My Ambien and Ben-Gay are starting to kick in. :P
www.poopreport.com :)
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LOL Whamo. Good job you!
@CashewTime, well I'll be, the Peens exist! hahaha
Night night Mel-Tang, see ya hot stuff! ;p
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Mel-Tang on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 1:42am.
Well goodnight all... I have to get my beauty sleep since I am now one of the hottest girls on dlisted!! Tee hee. ;)
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Yea I guess it is time we crashed there Mel, I'll be up in minute to tuck you in:P
Submitted by Mel-Tang on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 1:40am.
Aww thanks for motivating me to stay positive. It's a new thing these days-just closed a negative chapter in my life (though the man problems are always there, right?), but I know what I want to feel like 20 years from now, and I try to think of that often.
Submitted by CashewTime on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 1:30am.
Thank god no D-listers were at this funeral for the dying Peens!:
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BWAAAAHAAAA! That's classic. .
Submitted by WithinReason... on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 1:19am.
Right Wham?
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Lol, Reason. You know me too well Lol!
Well goodnight all... I have to get my beauty sleep since I am now one of the hottest girls on dlisted!! Tee hee. ;)
Have a great night everyone!
www.poopreport.com :)
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Cashew....I SO agree! Always tell your Mom how beautiful she is...exactly the way she is!
I do find it sad that many of us just can't embrace aging and be comfortable with it. It's very sad! Maybe you young girls can change all of that and teach us old folks some things!! :)
I try to stay positive when I see my looks changing, and tell myself I'm lucky that I am still here, and my kids are healthy (most important) and happy. The rest will fall into place.
I love your positive attitude; don't ever lose it! :)
www.poopreport.com :)
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Hahaha Kittymuffin, I hope it doesn't work the other way around, that would be worse! :O
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Within....hahahaha!!! When Whamo approves the hot, it's official!! Lol. You will hear a sizzle when you touch my avatar... ;)
Kitty.....WTH??? Lmfao!!
I have googled and seen things that my old virgin eyes should have never gazed upon because someone mentioned it here. I CANNOT resist a good Google!! ;(
www.poopreport.com :)
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Thank god no D-listers were at this funeral for the dying Peens!:
http://ancestry24.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/g2_viewcore.DownloadIte...
Submitted by Mel-Tang on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 1:10am.
I think it's better to be on the "chunky" side when older. My mom is very curvy, and that is her natural state, so she looks great. It annoys me that at 63 she complains about not being skinny and tries to live off little calories on some days. Those extra pounds are nature's gift and keep women beautiful. So funny that people won't accept that. Stupid youth culture and skinny people on tv and blahdy blah and *insert migraneuse-esque comment here*!
Submitted by WithinReason... on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 12:51am.
CashewTime, please don't google dying peens. Not good. ;)
@Mel-Tang, sexy is as sexy feels. No?
I googled dying peens and got a picture of Barney and Sponge bob.wth
Mel-Tang, Whamo will cheer you up then! He'll remember you as the hot chick with the Suri avie! If anyone asks, that's what I heard too!! ;p
Right Wham?
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Within...Haha!
My alarm is my phone and I hate it. I wake up on my own right before it goes off (another thing that happens when you get old...Lol) so I don't have to hear it. Lol
MK....I need another picture besides this woman's hot ass...it's depressing me!
www.poopreport.com :)
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Whamo!!!! <3
"I'm in my 20's and hot."
That's all you heard me say. ;)
www.poopreport.com :)
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Cashew <3. You're still a baby compared to me (and I don't mean that in a condescending way). To be 28 again.....sigh. :)
I was ok with looking older until I hit 40. Since then, it just hasn't been cute. Lol. I have white hair right above my ears (which is supposed to be blonde...damn you hairdresser). And hair growing out of places that shouldn't have hair. :( I'm getting age spots on my hands, blah, blah, blah. I have to say that my skin isn't TOO bad; I don't sit in the sun, and am on the chunky side, so not a lot of wrinkles...yet. My Mom just turned 74 and looks like she is in her late 40's, so I hope I age as well as she has! :)
www.poopreport.com :)
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Mel-Tang, could be your alarm clock. If mine's too loud and half scares me to death, the day will be full of grumpiness. Lolol
Seriously, it can't go downhill if you don't let it! If you feel good or confident, others will notice that too! :)
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by CashewTime on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 12:57am.
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 12:49am.
LOL. I once cut my own bangs when I was 5. Bad foreshadowing.
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OMG lol, that's funny!
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Submitted by Mel-Tang on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 12:58am.
I'm in my 20's and hot!
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That's all I heard.
ubmitted by meowsers on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 12:55am.
Whamo, I'm saving this for Mr Meowser's 45th birthday! I'm sure he'll love the insight!
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Lol, hey wait a minute, when did I write that!? :)
Within....I wake up with that in my mind every morning; I still think I'm in my 20's and hot!
Then I try to get out of bed and it all goes downhill. ;) Haha
www.poopreport.com :)
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Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 12:49am.
LOL. I once cut my own bangs when I was 5. Bad foreshadowing.
Submitted by Mel-Tang on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 12:48am.
I'm worried about my frown lines, but I don't mind the eye crinkles that I know are coming. I think those look so lively. I really really hope that by the time I'm totally wrinkled that I've lived a full enough life to not care, as trite as that sounds. It makes me nervous that I care already. I have anti wrinkle creams at 28, which is so stupid! Though noticing such behaviors has motivated me to travel more, experience things on a daily basis as much as I can, and to find good and notice beauty in other women. I know it's cheesy as hell to say it, but I really don't want to be a bitter ageing woman like the ones I've seen come into the store at some of my retail jobs.
Whamo, I'm saving this for Mr Meowser's 45th birthday! I'm sure he'll love the insight!
Well at 45 the penis usually fall off and out your pant leg never to be seen again, it's at this time men shoes turn to white leather along with your belt. Your jeans turn to brown plaid polyester and you find you have an unquenchable desire for soup and having dinner at three in the afternoon. At this time you trade your car in for a Buick and you make sure you turn your signals on no less than 5 miles before you make a turn and leave the on for another 5 miles after the turn just to be sure people knew you did in fact make that turn.
As well at 45 you lose the strength in you back and you walk like you're constantly looking very hard for any pennies that have fallen onto the ground and if you do find pennies you can always use them to buy more soup. All women are now called dear and you're not sure what they call you as you've lost your hearing. Stamina, well let's just say if we can make it to the mailbox and back with our Publisher Clearance envelopes without having to sit on the porch to catch our breath before we try to open the front door it's called a good day:P
ubmitted by CashewTime on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 12:47am.
Submitted by Kandykane on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 12:40am.
LOL Whamo! that told the whippersnapper :P
-I never once thought I would google the world "whippersnapper."
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You know you're a whippersnapper when....lol!!
CashewTime, please don't google dying peens. Not good. ;)
@Mel-Tang, sexy is as sexy feels. No?
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by kittymuffin on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 12:43am.
Submitted by Whamo
That was great..but what about the coupons?
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One of the kids has to cut them out for you as you're no longer allowed to use scissors anymore since you decided to save your pennies and gave yourself a hair cut that one time.
Submitted by estee logger on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 12:43am.
Cashew time
Honey when you are that age, pennies wont get nothing. Better hope you find a dropped EBT card instead!
--Shit, they don't get me anything now, except a tip to the starbucks guy, and even he isn't happy with them!
Aw Jack...at least you guys look refined as you get older. Most women just get, well, older. Lol.
I personally LOVE when guys start to get gray hair on the sides and wrinkles by their eyes. It shows wisdom and maturity, and I think that's sexy. Women look in the mirror and see those things, and we start to cry. Lol
www.poopreport.com :)
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Submitted by Kandykane on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 12:40am.
LOL Whamo! that told the whippersnapper :P
-I never once thought I would google the world "whippersnapper." I learn so much here lol. I hope no one is offended by my questions. I really have never googled "when do penises die," so what do I know lol? I'm really not as stupid as I sound. Sigh, I need some sleep...
Hahaha Kittymuffin, wasn't the dying peen bad enough? LOLOLOLOL
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Kandykane on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 12:40am.
that told the whippersnapper :P
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Lol :)
Submitted by Whamo
That was great..but what about the coupons?
.
Cashew time
Honey when you are that age, pennies wont get nothing. Better hope you find a dropped EBT card instead!