Thursday, September 20th 2012

BREAKING: Brit Brit Sings Live For Real (I Think)

My ass is sorry for being slower than usual with the posts today. I just temporarily blacked out into a long coma after watching this clip from last night's X-Factor of Our Lady of Cheetos using her vocal cords to actually produce singing sounds. I didn't think this was possible! Either the end is nearer than we thought or she's lip-synching to a track sung by an injured bird with laryngitis lying on the back of a bumpy pick-up truck.

Posted by: Michael K


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That hoe can't sing.

Submitted by MissAnnThrope on Thu, 09/20/2012 - 4:30pm.
She is a 30 year old woman who still acts like she has zero confidence-- all nervous and shy. Shes about 11 or 12 in her own head i dont know how she does what she does for a living anymore. Not to mention that weird voice.

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BINGO!

Thunder only happens when it's rainin
Players only love you when they're playin

johnnyx's picture

Mr K. I haven't been able to stop laughing. You were spot on about Britney's voice I had to watch it about 80 times. Hands down the most genius post you have ever made.

literarylioness's picture

L.A. Reid's birthday was in June. God this is dated by nearly four months.

Toonkinstein's picture

"she's lip-synching to a track sung by an injured bird with laryngitis lying on the back of a bumpy pick-up truck."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA......H2O....HAHAHAHAHA

....recorded on a warped record and played on FAST SPEED....WTFudge!?!?!?!?!?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....injured bird that had been PUNCHED in the voice box more like!!!!

TheBreakdown's picture

Further proof that the only reason Brit-Shit got a record deal in the first place is because she was/is the easiest of the teens during her earlier career that could be controlled. Sad too, because, the girl actually does have something akin to a singing voice, no matter how weak/tepid it may be. Somewhere along the line, someone whispered into her ear, it seeped into her skull and she was convinced that she could just coo for the rest of her goddamn life and get a check. It worked. But still?

EPIC FAIL!

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WinterOwl22's picture

Saw the video again. I'm embarrassed for her.

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The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!

TrashyWilma's picture

This is amazing because it demonstrates how Britney Spears got signed to a record label by fucking men just like LA Reid.

About Britney, I thought she looked cute, and if you take away all the extra-ness she adds to the song, she sounded basically fine and like what you would expect for her. Its not even that offensive coming from her, she made adding all those yeayeas and what not to singing very popular.

I'm also on board with finding her boyfriend/fiance/wahtever very creepy just shadowing her like that all the time.

cheray's picture

Where are all these goats coming from????Oh they think Brit was calling them........

WithinReason...'s picture

Wow, so many singers on here, Wowlie, Whamo, Diamond, Sans, and anyone else I missed! Bet you would all sound really good in Vegas! ♫ do ♫ re ♫ mi ♫ ;p

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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WinterOwl22's picture

Whamo, kind of like me. : ) I can sing the Christina Aguilera high notes. I only do it when I sing along to her, I listent to her cuz I like a challenge. I like to warm up to her songs. I rarely sing that high and I definitely don't do the runs she does. It's not really my style.

I sing Jazz, blues, rock (I'm still working on the rock "scream"), and opera. I know the technique to sing opera but I don't sing it in public unless it's required in the choir.

Oh and being in choir has helped me learn to harmonize so much! That's all I've been doing for the last couple of years when I listed to music and I feel like it's helped me a lot.

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can be a pushy broad's picture

Submitted by SANS FARDS on Thu, 09/20/2012 - 5:21pm.
Well Sans, it's been "a few years" so I cannot remember that well, but no, I don't think it was that hard. It like once you get the positions
you're pretty good to go. You know what's a little sad to me. So many schools do not really teach music or art anymore. It's a shame.

Aww, I like her voice in this and she looks pretty again. But Wth is that on demi's head??? Can we stop it with this long weave tend??

Brown-EyedGirl's picture

Why is that other girl wearing a hair blanket?

Whamo's picture

Submitted by SANS FARDS on Thu, 09/20/2012 - 5:01pm.

I can match pitch pretty easily. That comes in real handy on auditions!
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Hey Sans, that's nice to hear. Having that solid ear is HUGE. Having a big booming voice isn't very good if the person can't stay in pitch or even in key. It's nice to have people that stay on all the way through the song.

In our house we all played and both my parent played piano quite well so I too grew up listening to the classics as well. Debussy's Claire De Lune, Chopin's Nocturne op.9, Gershwin's Rhapsody In Blue are still some of my favorite pieces

Someone was always practicing scales and this of course helps train that inner ear as well.

cripbabe's picture

I do a killer Cher singing "Half Breed" impression, but this poor thing sounds like a bleating goat getting fucked in the ass by that creep-o Fla guy who humped the donkey the other day...

Mani6's picture

Britney never had a good voice except for maybe when she was 14...after that she completely lost it.

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SANS FARDS's picture

@pushy broad - haha yes, he was adamant that SOMEONE in the family be musically inclined. I wish I'd taken up a string instrument; cello's are gorgeous! Is it as hard to play as it looks?

haha Diamond....will do. You all will probably overshadow me though!

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WALKING DEAD Season 3 premiere: October 14, 2012

can be a pushy broad's picture

Mr. wooed me playing guitar singing Bob Dylan to me. and My Girl:) I'm swooning:)

catfight357's picture

as a reminder, she is judging a SINGING contest. It's like asking Stevie Wonder to judge gymnastics.

In other news, I had to cancel my gig this weekend b/c I am home sick with STREP :-( In almost 20 yrs of singing, I have never cancelled a show. Sad day. I'm getting old.

islandgirl's picture

Submitted by MarketingWiz on Thu, 09/20/2012 - 4:25pm.

She sounded like a bleating goat.
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OK, that just made me bark like a seal. :))

can be a pushy broad's picture

Sans, "made me take 10 years of piano lessons as a kid" Me too! and 8 years cello. I do not have musical talent but what those years of piano and cello gave me was a great appreciation for music.

I'm reading these comments. I'm thinking
somehow You, DD, Whamo and anyone else that has a great voice should find a way to blindly let us hear your music.

and all of you, plus Mr. Pushy---X-factor.
buckets and buckets of money.

Well Sans, you can join Whamo, BamBam and myself when we hit the Vegas nightclub scene and belt out a few tunes to the drunken gamblers.

Zorba-the-Geek's picture

*puts on Chris Crocker wig*

Leave my precious Brit alone. I think she looks pretty and generally seems like a sweetheart and a non-diva. Her boyfriend/handler creeps me the fuck out though. Yeah she's unstable but he doesn't need to follow her the fuck around like a shadow. Creepy ass controlling scarecrow.

SANS FARDS's picture

@DD - yep. I do a church choir and one of the big groups in the DC area. Mostly classical and symphonic stuff (Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, those guys). It's a lot of fun and a nice way to blow off steam from work!

I don't have a powerful voice and I'm real jelly of those who do, but after my dad made me take 10 years of piano lessons as a kid, I can match pitch pretty easily. That comes in real handy on auditions!

_______________________________________________

WALKING DEAD Season 3 premiere: October 14, 2012

@ Sans

You were in the church choir too?

Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 09/20/2012 - 4:37pm.
What type of voice do you have, what do you feel comfortable singing?

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I can't belt it out high notes or anything like that. My octave is in the lower range so I can sing Mahalia Jackson gospel, Nina Simone, Etta James (in her later years) and Stevie Nicks/Fleetwood Mac stuff. I'd love to be able to sing some Heart songs like Barracuda but I can't get that kind of power or range in my voice

SANS FARDS's picture

I got some fellow choir nerds up in here?

*joins party*

_______________________________________________

WALKING DEAD Season 3 premiere: October 14, 2012

Lucifer_Sam's picture

Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 09/20/2012 - 4:37pm.
Hey I was no (Britney)

dorian_graye's picture

IF THAT'S THE KIND OF VOICE THAT PASSES AS ACCEPTABLE IN THE MUSIC BUSINESS, THAN I SHOULD BE A FUCKING ROCK STAR. MY KAROAKE SKILLS KILL COMPARED TO THAT!

Lucifer_Sam's picture

LOL Deb

Whamo's picture

Submitted by DiamondDogs on Thu, 09/20/2012 - 4:01pm.
@ Whamo
============================================
You SHOULD find some people to play with as well! :) You too sound like you have the passion for it. Hey I was no (insert great singers name) but I was honest with what I could do and sang within my limits. The thing is you don't have to have that perfect clean clear voice, I mean you do need to be able to stay in key (lol ) but other than that as long as you're honest with your sound people will listen. Neil Young, Bob Dylan both of them are WTFers but it works. What type of voice do you have, what do you feel comfortable singing?

Snarkley's picture

No no , that's a lip-synch.

She is a 30 year old woman who still acts like she has zero confidence-- all nervous and shy. Shes about 11 or 12 in her own head i dont know how she does what she does for a living anymore. Not to mention that weird voice.

Heehee. Dlisted band. Doing covers of Charo, modern Talking, Caterpillar by Rebbie Jackson....

Whamo's picture

Submitted by WinterOwl22 on Thu, 09/20/2012 - 3:43pm.
Whamo, what type of music do you sing? Sorry, I dont have time to read back
===============================================
Basically anything to an extent, I don't have a super range but I do have a strong voice and a really good ear so as long as I cover the range I can pretty much sing it. I can "mimic" those little nuances of a person's voice which allows you to cover more styles as well, you know what I mean?
My natural comfort voice would be along the lines of a James Taylor but I could follow that up with a Ramones, Stones, STP, Pearl Jam, Steve Miller, Beatles really anything as long as it's in my range. I love Bowie but I don't think people realize how difficult he is to do, the man had and incredible range.

How about you what styles do you do? You mention singing in a choir, do you have a natural ear for harmonizing?

She sounded like a bleating goat.

I'm just glad that she can make a note, even if it is that warbly over singing that is the bane of my existence as a professional singer performing music that I don't even try to get mainstream. There would be no point. X factor, idol and all them love them warblers.

@ Whamo

That is so cool! You should get out there and do it again. It is an obvious passion of yours and it would probably be a lot of fun too. I certainly don't have the talent that you have but do enjoy singing. I got asked to sing at my friend's wedding (the one that went tits up two weeks before it was suppose to happen) I thought about joining a singing group just to keep it up. But life gets in the way and I get too bogged down with other projects n' stuff.

Whamo's picture

Submitted by DiamondDogs on Thu, 09/20/2012 -

@ Whamo
Then I bolted from that scene at 16 and went to the other side. Rock and R&B. Got a band and we did get gigs at dive bars. I got my partying in at an early age because of course, we lied about how old I was. Good memories for sure.
Do you still sing?
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Holy jumpin too much, yes I started singing from the time I could could walk, we all played piano and sang. I dropped the piano at an early age mostly because I could handle my mom at my teacher, but I kep on singing, as I mention I took three golds at the Royal Conservatory when I was super young lol. Our band played for almost 10 years, we were pretty local most gigs were within 100 miles of home so it's not like we were a big touring band. Our big claim to fame was opened up twice for Dr Hook, you remeber them? their big tunes was "On the Cover of the Rolling Stone" We did tons of Hip, we played and I've memorised pretty much everything off the first three albums,lol. I can do Gordie pretty good. It's funny we did so much hip my friends would tell me when they listened to the albums it was like "that's not the hip" point at me and say "THAT'S the Hip" lol! I've done hundreds of gigs, festivals, halls, weddings, bachelor parties, field party's, top of flatbed gigs you name it we did it.

I'd be happy to do Vegas with you:) lol

We've been talking about getting back together and at least doing some writing. I took 4 originals I wrote and took them to the studio and laid them down, this was literally a couple months before they put out software so you can do it at home now. I haven't played live in years now though so no I haven't been singing for a while, I definitely have the itch to get out there.

WinterOwl22's picture

DP

_________________________

The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!

WinterOwl22's picture

Whamo, what type of music do you sing? Sorry, I dont have time to read back cuz I'm getting ready to leave to choir rehearsal.

_________________________

The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!

Aren't you supposed to wash rice a few times before you cook it anyway? And then its still full of POISON? lol.

WithinReason...'s picture

Awww that's sweet! ;)

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░

bambam's picture

Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 09/20/2012 - 3:22pm.

bambam: PICS OR UR LYIN!
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Pics of what, my poop? Pervert.

Uhhhh, speaking of which, brb. I gotta go cuz I gotta go.

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You can't be pregnant. That rape was legitimate.