This Is The Look: Martha Stewart's Sequined Capri Leggings & Tablecloth Tunic
Leave it to Blake Lively's wedding planner Martha Stewart to the show the overdressed hos at the New York City Ballet Gala last night that the only things you need to rule the red carpet are a pair of Al Reynolds' favorite gardening capris, one of Angie Jolie's muumuus, a pair of scissors and a strange broach/sash thing that can dress up any naked table if need be. Martha Stewart always comes prepared. If there's a boring table at the event she's at, she rips off that broach/sash decoration, throws it in the middle and BOOM: elegance is made. On anybody else, that broach/sash decoration would look like gold tinsel on a layer of bedazzled bunny poo on Mr. Hankey's bloated corpse, but Martha makes it look like the most glamorous bowel movement ever. This is probably the same ensemble Martha wore to her goodbye party at the prison and she hand made the sequins out of gold foil chocolate wrappers and the top is a bed sheet she dyed with you don't want to know.
Here's more of Martha sweeping the tricks under the carpet with her impeccable style. I also threw in some pictures of some lesser thans: Sarah Jessica Parker with a glazed terra cotta pot, Anne Hathaway (looking like Peter Pan after falling into a bush in the Enchanted Forest), Barbara Walters, Anjelica Houston, Iman and Daphne Guinness modeling the same metal neck brace Tommy Girl strapped to Stepford Katie so she could never look down at him.
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I'm not gonna lie...I kinda like Anne's dress. I think it works for her. My busty ass would look like Mrs. Roper if I wore that shit.
On the next Martha Stewart Living...Martha shows viewers how to take an ordinary potato sack and pair it with gold leggings from KameApart for a special night out! Tip to Martha...remove the potatoes! Oh you already did?...Sorry!
Most of these hos look awful. Iman and Anne Hathaway look okay. Sara Jessica Parker is a horse face. She looked good until she hit about 35. Then the horse face look started. She is thin, and looks like a major bitch. I bet Matthew Broderick is whipped. Unimpressive hos.
When did SJP have that mole removed from her chin? I must of missed that headline. Not that that would have made much differance. She would look far better if she put on a few pounds. How on earth did she get to bang JFK Jnr?
At least Martha's pants were sparkly, lol. Anne looks quite pretty in the face. And Iman, AS ALWAYS, is perfection! ;)
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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I don't know who Daphne Guinness is but I'm sure she had a great evening, dressed up like a complete asshole trying ridiculously hard to be avant garde. Meanwhile, the idiot can't eat, drink or have a conversation.
Meanwhile, Iman defies all laws of nature and looks insanely, pristinely beautiful....and natural. Good thing she's married to Davie Bowie - only a gay guy could truly appreciate her beauty.
One day MK will spell "Anjelica Huston" right. Just remember she spells both first name and last name wrong.
i just can't with daphne guiness. she tries too hard. and i find her depressingly asexual.
Ha-ha that Bawbwa's not standing on the white tape X; what in the Tin Man's neck brace hell is that last chick wearing?
Why is SJP wearing my nan's living room sheers?
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
There was a time when SJP's body & face were lovely circa L.A. Story. Age can be quite cruel to women, but that 3rd thumb is just awful. She has a serious case of Westworld face. If removed, I don't know if there would be circuitry or a praying mantis.
Unlike the glorious, lovely, Iman and the imperious Anjelica Huston. Class personified.
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Why don't you dance with me? I'm not no limburger.
I really thought the thumbnail pic of Anne Hathaway was Justin Bieber in a dress.
Submitted by Sweetas on Fri, 09/21/2012 - 2:42pm.
Iman is absolute perfection, from her head to her ankles. Just stunning. Those hammer toes should never be on display though.
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Never noticed those before, haha. In some cultures, including Iman's Somali culture, if you look too perfect and too beautiful, that makes you a target for the evil eye. You hope you have some kind of imperfection to take off the eye from jealous people. Iman's hammer toes are probably considered a blessing especially since she's so beautiful and has her life in order. Something has to be ugly, might as well be her toes.
Maybe it's just the Connecticut girl in me but I still love Martha and her cunty self. I do think, however, she wouldn't have been caught dead in this outfit in her pre-convict days. Jail changes a broad.
I think SJP just looked better with a little more weight and more natural, sun-kissed make-up. At the beginning of Sex and the City, that's how she looked and was much more attractive, and not just because she was younger. Anjelica Huston seems to have just changed in appearance and not just from ageing...
Was this black tie? Oh Martha.
Ha ha Sweetas Daphne going downstairs like a slinky!
Uncle Brain Fart you bring the fun here often. Speedy recovery!
lmfao@ Daphne Guinness in the last thumb she's off her "x" she can't even look down to see it...gaga must be her fashion icon...
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...the end
Submitted by Sweetas on Fri, 09/21/2012 - 2:42pm.
Iman is absolute perfection, from her head to her ankles. Just stunning. Those hammer toes should never be on display though.
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Damn - I wish I hadn't scrolled down. Yuck.
lol mefuni♥ don't, really. Other that that she is a goddess!
I wonder if Daphne is as much fun to push down the stairs as other slinkies?
Loved Iman since Project Runway Canada! She's forever lovely and doesn't try to look 27.
I don't mind the leggings.
I thought Martha was about all nature and shit. Why did she go so overboard with the restylane? Ouch.
*is ignoring sweetas and refuses to look at toes*
NO!
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
Is that Draco Malfoy's mother in pics 14 and 15?
Dirk, when I saw SJP in Hocus Pocus (I had lil ones shuddup), I thought the role was perfect for her, she really does have a wicked witch face.
and my lil ones are grown but i still watch hocus pocus :P
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
Iman is absolute perfection, from her head to her ankles. Just stunning. Those hammer toes should never be on display though.
Martha is a piping hot bowl of Milf.
The only way Iman could look any more perfect would be if she had brought her best accessory with her..Bowie. I love them together.
I was just watching Labyrinth the other day and I still would with the goblin king
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"If you're going through hell, keep going" ~ Winston Churchill
Me thinks she got those shoes at Naturalizer.
Submitted by bambam on Fri, 09/21/2012 - 2:00pm.
LOL, no I meant her for ignoring you. But you probably hurt her feelings. ;)
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
I remember the first time I ever saw a picture of SJP (I think it was in The Enquirer). I remember saying to myself, "Gees, that is a really unflattering picture of the actress."
Since then I've realized that ALL pictures of her are unflattering, ranging from mildly awkward to full-on grotesque. And it's getting even worse as she ages.
@Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 09/21/2012 - 1:58pm.
I think she's hit that middle-aged lady zone where she's going to wear whatever, and anyone that doesn't like it can piss right the fuck off.
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Fri, 09/21/2012 - 1:48pm.
Submitted by bambam on Fri, 09/21/2012 - 1:46pm.
LMAO. What a bitch!
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Bwahaha, if you meant me I completely agree! Women only give a guy so many chances to make a move, if they give too many there's something wrong there. lols
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You can't be pregnant. That rape was legitimate.
Submitted by swarm-of-locusts: "Martha took a shit on everyone's pretensions in that "fuck it" outfit. I kinda love it."
Me too.
I like Marfa. She takes no shit and has high standards. I wouldn't want to work for her or be related to her, but I like to admire her from afar.
Martha took a shit on everyone's pretensions in that "fuck it" outfit. I kinda love it.
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami
OMG Iman is just so beautiful.
Hated Anne's dress.
I truly believe that you haven't begun to scoop up all of life's beautiful moments until you've heard the line "Watch the wig!" from a piece while sitting on their face. - MK
Submitted by bambam on Fri, 09/21/2012 - 1:46pm.
LMAO. What a bitch!
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
UBF, good luck on your gender reassignment surgery! :D
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
This woman in my neighborhood loves to wear capris, almost every time I see her she's got some on. She is perfect, tall, leggy, nice figure (no big ghetto booty), doesn't use much makeup, elegant and sophisticated looking. Girl is foinnnne. The kinda woman I would love to escort on my arm.
I'd check her out on the sly cuz although we would look good together I think she's outta my league. One day I realized she was checking ME out. We'd make eye contact and I'd just smile and say howyadoin and that was all.
Never approached her but I overheard somebody call out her name. I settled on this weird consolation that even though I felt I wasn't good enough for her she thought I was attractive enough to be interested.
Just recently we passed each other. I smiled, nodded my head and said hello. She gave me a quick glance, looked away and walked past me.
Oooooooh how my attitude changed! Never liked her anyway, wearing them stupid looking pants all the time with that stupid ass name that sounds too close to my baby mama's name. I'm finding all sorts of things wrong with her now.
I'm so fuckin' petty, bwahahahaha!!
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You can't be pregnant. That rape was legitimate.
Iman is still just so stunning. She is really aging beautifully.
Since we know Martha likes to recycle/reuse things she creates, was this tunic a Thanksgiving banquet table treatment at one time?
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"I am not doing your fucking maneuvers."-Croc
"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.K "We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard ♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
So did the dress and the necklace collar conspire to strangle the fuck out of this bitch?
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"I am not doing your fucking maneuvers."-Croc
"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.K "We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard ♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
you know, Martha was thisclose to pulling it off..I think I know where she was going with it, but nope.
Iman can just suck it. STILL perfect, STILL sleeping with Bowie.
I wishhhhhh so badly I could pull off that haircut Anne has. I'd kill for that ability.
I was going to say Anjelica doesn't look so bad for 61, but then I realized Iman is only 4 years younger than her.
see???? Iman can suck it!!
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
Guinness used to be so fucking gorgeous and she was also capable of smiling!
http://www.gettyimages.de/detail/nachrichtenfoto/socialite-daphne-guinne...
Behold late 80s/early 90s cuteness: http://cdn.fashionista.com/uploads/2011/09/daphne-guinness-young.jpeg
When you look at pics on gettyimages it's clear that something started going wrong around 2005 and she slowly morphed into Cruella del Wacky Fashionville.
Ummm, excuse me, but
YES, DAPHNE GUINESS WE SEE YOU, WE THINK YOU'RE ALL EDGY & SHIT, AND I DON'T GET WHY YOU'RE NOT QUEEN OF THE UNIVERSE YET EITHER.
Thank you.
Thunder only happens when it's rainin
Players only love you when they're playin
I like Martha Stewart ** shrugs ** but I just can't with that outfit. I honestly thought that Daphne was Goopy at first, but then I realized that Goopy could never pull off that HAWT look ;p
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Kitten Kaboodle - a Disney ho who did the ho stroll right ;)
What. The. Fuck. These. People. Wearing. Who's the chick in the African necklace? You DO know they wear them at an early age to train them so they don't look like they're perpetually peeping over people's shoulders, right? Guess not. I just can't with this whole batch.
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"I am not doing your fucking maneuvers."-Croc
"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.K "We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard ♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
Iman is so fucking gorgeous. And you just know Bowie's at home being a crotchety old grandpa man. He goes to, like, one or two of these events with her a year, and that's more than enough for him, dammit.
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Devil's advocate.