Eau De Toilet
If you have a classic woman's fragrance - one that brings to mind style, sophistication and polish - and you want to put a fresh perspective on it, you should go down to the bus station, pick the sexiest one of the passed out drunks, put him immediately on camera and don't hand him a script. Because that's what Chanel No. 5 did in their latest ad campaign. Okay, that's not really a homeless person, it's Brad Pitt looking like he smells like a homeless person. Coco's grave just spun to the surface.
Brad is the first male spokesmodel for Chanel No. 5. Great choice, because when I look at him up there, I get an immediate urge to spray lots of perfume. Even more amazing than the image though, is the pure poetry spewing forth from Brad's please-Chapstick-me-bitch lips.
"It's not a journey. Every journey ends, but we go on. The world turns and we turn with it. Plans disappear, dreams take over. But wherever I go, there you are. My luck, my fate, my fortune. Chanel No.5. Inevitable."
I'll have to wait till I get home and get really stoned to understand any of that, but I'm sure it's deep. Michael K summed up the entire vibe perfectly: "I hope in honor of Brad being their new face, they come out with a bong version of the bottle."
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We love how she butches it up for the camera and for the money. She has had a good facelift and also a chin implant.
When the cameras are not rolling she is actually a nelly little queen.
This just might be one of the sexiest commercials ever. Did not like the Kidman ones at all but this is up there with Deneuve and the Nina Simone ones.
The man is hot, and I'm not a sheep in the Jennifer Aniston herd that settles here so I don't need to live in dissonance.
"Don't condescend me, man. I'll fuckin' kill ya, man".
Everything since then has been down hill.
Ewwww de toilet
But...what the fuck is THIS shit?!
he's peddling perfume now? How much money does this guy need?
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What is her problem? She's just laying there...
As embarrassing as his delivery is, his wardrobe is even worse. It looks like he bought it at the men's section at Sears. I mean, damn. It's so bad it almost made me see past his beat-ass 'Legends of the Fall' wig.
No offense to my fellow Dlisters, but I always found Chanel No. 5 perfume to be nauseatingly cloying. To each her own though. Chanel Allure is nice though. My sister wears it.
Remember when Chanel made amazing ads like this one? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZ5a2JH_BVE
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It hurts because you let your black heart beat for an asshole who can't even send you a "P.S. I'm about to fuck a hole that doesn't belong to you" text before fucking said hole that doesn't belong to you.
I would believe this quote if I change it a little:
"It's not boxed wine. Every boxed wine ends, but we go on. The world turns and we turn with it. Plans disappear, dreams take over. But wherever I go, there you are. My luck, my fate, my fortune. BOXED WINE. Inevitable."
Coma Caca!
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Submitted by TelevisedRevolution on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 2:20pm.
what an odd move to make, for all concerned.
it's hard to think of ANY modern male actor/celebrity who could credibly hawk Chanel No. 5, though.
well......:
Joseph Gordon-Levitt (!);
Tom Hardy (cleaned up, but still a bad boy underneath);
Lenny Kravitz could get away with it;
___________?______________
what say ye?
OH SHIT YES LENNY KRAVITZ YES YES YES!!!!!!!1!1!!!!
Looks like it's from Funny or Die or SNL, lol. How many millions did this cost? BWHAHAHAHAHA ;D
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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What is the purpose of this? Why take an iconic brand and have it promoted by someone who needs a scrub down thru a car wash?
Today is the beginning of the end for Chanel No. 5
Coco Chanel weeps in heaven.
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Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.
Submitted by debbiedoesnothing on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 4:53pm.
Brad is in on the joke. He knows how silly this stuff is. That's part of what makes him so hot.
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No, that's what makes him a greedy millionaire. Maybe he can donate some of that money to the refugees and invite the "journalists" to videotape the warmhearted moment. Maybe he can use it to finish the Fake It Right project that STILL isn't completed after so many years.
Jillian @M.E. I'm a proud Brangeloony and who's Jennifer Aniston?? lolol
I'm also a little monster. (:
Well Madonna, I think "Material Girl" is reductive to "Diamonds are a Girls Best Friend."
Is it me I know he was supposed to thoughtful and pensive but it looks like he kept forgetting his lines
channel 5 smells like old people
Submitted by Gigaboob on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 5:35pm.
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Giga, a different concept and casting somebody like Gosling or Fassbender would've been a huge hit. I agree with someone who said that they partially lifted the concept from the Calvin Klein ads from the 90s.
Guess what? Loons are already blaming Huvane for this! XD
Submitted by debbiedoesnothing on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 4:53pm
He probably is on the "joke" Laughing all the way to the bank.
I just cannot figure out who they are targeting here. Surely not older women that usually wear #5.
Not younger women who think it's for old lady's.
I mean who??? 35-45?
There's a new perfume out in this really pretty red/black flowery bottle. I can't remember what it is. But, yup I'm getting it cause I love that bottle. It can smell like shit but that bottle works for me. I too can be influenced by stupid stuff:)
At least he's not the spokes whore for CoCo. That's my scent.
and the spoofs begin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5_wRNv0kOA
~~~ Woosah ~~~~
Sal, I have to tell ya, the loon poetry has me overcome with emotion nowadays.
Submitted by debbiedoesnothing on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 4:53pm.
Blame the guys who came up with the concept and the director. With this kind of money on the line for a 30 second spot, every single word and move is calculated by them. Somebody offers me a check for $7 mil I'll act stupid for them.
Brad is in on the joke. He knows how silly this stuff is. That's part of what makes him so hot.
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So you're saying this is some colossal joke and pretty much NO ONE is getting it. There's no joking with millions, imo. Brad's job was to sell and he failed. Even if it was meant to be tongue in cheek, he failed at that. Fact is, he looks weathered and he just doesn't have the depth to pull this off.
Question: If Pitt can agree this stuff is silly, why do it?
What a f*cked up world. Millions on foodstamps, I am partially employed with a Masters and this college dropout gets paid millions to look like a douchebag. Insane.
Submitted by Gigaboob on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 2:37pm.
Giga, oh you know loons are going to blame Huvane for this.
X)
Submitted by winniwins on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 2:27pm.
Punchline: he got $7 mil. for that.
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No one knows for sure how much he made, but I suspect it's a lot less. Chanel refused to comment on the money spent on the advertisement. The number was speculated by "industry insiders".
Submitted by Cowjam on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 5:09pm.
LOL! Suri's Burn Book says: "Brad Pitt shilling for Chanel No. 5 is like … Honey Boo Boo becoming the face of Hermès.
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BWAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL! Suri's Burn Book says: "Brad Pitt shilling for Chanel No. 5 is like … Honey Boo Boo becoming the face of Hermès.
Ahahahahahhaahahhaha
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It's already tax time again!? Guess I gotta get my trusted tax adviser, Stephen King, on the phone STAT.
Blame the guys who came up with the concept and the director. With this kind of money on the line for a 30 second spot, every single word and move is calculated by them. Somebody offers me a check for $7 mil I'll act stupid for them.
Brad is in on the joke. He knows how silly this stuff is. That's part of what makes him so hot.
Holy shit. *more embarrassed than I thought possible*
Holy crap! That was hilarious! It looked more like a skit from SNL than a serious commercial. He's so derpy duh. Duhhhhh um you know Chanel it's uhhh what's that big word I was supposed to memorize? Inevitawha?
Why does he keep trying-not-to-look-nervous-about-the-bee-in-the-room glancing around like that? And is he supposed to be talking about/to his "wife?"
My boyfriend met Pitt years ago, too, on some film set and said he was so chill & down to earth, not a pretentious(sp?) bone in his body. Needless to say, this was pre-Ange.
I literally cringed watching this. How embarrassing for him.
@Cookie monster yes that's when I liked him the best! Over inflated egos kill it for me...
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...the end
Wow, that was the Gheyist!!!
Submitted by cake coke and cock on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 3:42pm.
.... This is why I hate Angelina. Not because she took Brad from Jennifer. But because she robbed Brad from us all.
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Hells to the fucking yes. This. He was a gifted actor, down to earth and seemed to hate the pretentiousness of Hollywood. I met him about 15 years ago, before he was a part of Brangie. Soft spoken and hanging out on sidewalk bench, smoking a ciggie. I didn't recognize him and sat down to wait for a bus. He started up a conversation with me, we ended up talking 45 minutes. Offered me a smoke (I didn't smoke but accepted), when I finally realized who he was, it was time to get on the bus.
I asked him for an autograph, he said "aw man, you don't want no autograph from a bum like me", laughing. He wished me a good day and I left. Something tells me that sweet natured kid has been destroyed from the inside out. 20 years ago he would've gagged at some pretentious shit like this. Angie fucked him up (mentally and physically) for good.
Brad Pitt always looks like he's a millisecond away from laughing at his own lameness.
I'm sorry but this is embarrassing as shit. That side-look he gives, remembering his line, just before he says: "the world turns..." makes me squirm. He's squirming too now, watching it. Ange is probably telling him how great he did. This is why I hate Angelina. Not because she took Brad from Jennifer. But because she robbed Brad from us all.
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Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.
Not at No. 5 fan, and wtf happened to the Pitt hotness? Holie sucked it out of him. Yuck on this mess.
<3 Chanel but WTH was he talking about?
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Thomas: Don't let's spoil everything,we've only just met.
Ohhhh... I just saw the ad on my lifesize tv screen.
And I confirm it's just as "duh!" in real life.
Looks like he's auditioning for Shakespearean soliloquy and failing miserably.
Can't wait to see the spoofs :D
~~~ Woosah ~~~~
You guys do realize that big, respected American stars make huge cash doing european and asian commercials and ad campaigns, right?
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
It was stupid,but it was still 10 times better that that fucked up mess with Granny Freeze Kidman they did a couple years ago
He looks like an older and thinner Val Kilmer.
what a fucking joke. Just happens that the joke isn't not funny.
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Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 2:25pm.
Not a Chanel No. 5 fan. Smells like bubble gum to me, and sort of old lady. I like Coco and Coco Mademoiselle though.
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Agreed! no5 stinks but chanel mademoiselle, I loved it, the minute it came out.
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
$7 million that he needs to maintain the chateau, private jets and overpriced artsy crap.
FAIL.
I need to wash the yuck off after looking at that ad.
I used to have a serious crush on this man way back in the day...
WHAT HAPPENED!?!
~~~ Woosah ~~~~
Submitted by salacious on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 2:19pm.
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Sal, please!
"Brad is simply gorgeous with this Chanel #5 Ad.
He and Angelina’s beauty defy description. Words are inadequate. They are not eloquent and flowery enough to paint a verbal picture of them. As some one said a while back, God was clearly in a great mood when He created Brad and Angelina and gave them to each other to procreate such a beautiful family."
Submitted by TelevisedRevolution on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 2:20pm.
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Joseph Gordon Levitt is a great choice, Lenny is beautiful and sexy as fuck so checkmark, but Tom Hardy seems kind of goofy to me. I would pick Matt Bomer, even though he's not all that famous.
Guest- I knew I had seen that backdrop before! Olan Mills- yep.
Submitted by lislop on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 2:03pm.
Submitted by johnnysgirl on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 1:59pm.
OMG, his attempts to whistfully glance about were PAINFUL. AWKWARD!!!
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There were so many bad parts, but him trying to "wistfully glance" was the worst. Embarrassing!
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Yep - agreed. It was like a really, really bad audition.