Now THIS Is An October Surprise
Donald Trump shat out his "October Surprise" for Obama yesterday and it turned out to be nothing but a heap of lukewarm shit, which is kind of ironic since I don't think Trump has squatted out a proper caca since the 80s. The stick up his culo gets in the way, so nowadays he just shits through his mouth. But something beautiful has grown out of Trump's piece of trash offer to Obama and that something beautiful is the image of Stephen Colbert dipping his crotch prunes in Trump's sewer hole of a mouth.
On last night's Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert gave Trump an offer he shouldn't refuse: Stephen will give $1 million to Trump's charity of choice if he lets Stephen dippeth those nuts into la boca.
"Mr Trump, I will write you a check for $1 million dollars from Colbert Super PAC - you know I've got it - to the charity of your choice. Anything. Save The Children. Feed The Children. Put The Children on Child Apprentice, whatever! One million actual dollars, if you will let me dip my balls in your mouth - one million. But... this dipping, and I hope you're listening very carefully Mr Trump. This dipping has to be to my and more importantly, my balls' satisfaction. One caveat... one caveat. My balls must be in your mouth no later than 5pm October 31st."
I hate politics and I hate this election, but I LOVE nuts in mouths.
This should be a no brainer for Trump (I set that one up for you), because he's a teabagger and everyone knows that you're not an official teabagger until a testicle hair has tickled your tonsils. They do that during the initiation ceremony ("Then why aren't you a teabagger by now, Michael?" - you "Good point." - Me). And this is also sort of fitting, because Donald Trump is an oozing hairy pimple on humanity's nutsack.
And this is the reason why the nutsack condom (it's like a shower cap for your huevos) was invented.
via Digital Spy
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So if the taxes don't help the poor (and everywhere else they go) and everything gets privatized does that mean there will be no more taxes anywhere? People will be able to take their fica taxes and bank it? No more disability tax? No more school taxes? No more property taxes? Is this Romneys plan?
@ Gaslight ,
yeah because everything obama has done, including promising every single american to insurance companies as customers is so communist. Uh huh. Do you even know what communism is or socialism and the difference? Do you seriously believe rhe mind excrement you spew? Do you think living in a plutocracy as envisioned by the dystopian duo romney/ryan is going to help schmucks such as yourself?
And by the way jackass, Trump wanted Obama's APPLICATION for college, not his college transcripts. he wanted that ot see what country of origin he put in there to "prove" his batshit crazy paranoia about Obama being a Kenyan on a secret mission to destroy your freedom to be exploited by Koch brothers and Bain....
Racist, bigot ignorant fucks like you make me sick. You are the disease, the cancer of this society. Really. You don t know anything - nothing but dumb, ignorant sheep. It is ashame you get to vote.
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
Submitted by CandyPerfumeGirl on Fri, 10/26/2012 - 2:46am.
yeah he is totally hiding something. Any man who would not disclose his college applications and pass port application, who knows what they are capable of. I personally think Obama is a communist Kenyan on a secret mission from Mars to destroy the United States.
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Except for a couple of facts you almost have it right.
Obama was mentored by Frank Marshall Davis, a devout card-carrying Communist Party USA member. Obama idolized Davis and was shaped by his philosophy. It is also very possible that Davis was Obama's biological father.
It is Obama's mission to have the U.S. become a socialist & communist country and he has made a significant start to that end game.
@ shandi,
yeah he is totally hiding something. Any man who would not disclose his college applications and pass port application, who knows what they are capable of. I personally think Obama is a communist Kenyan on a secret mission from Mars to destroy the United States. He was indoctrinated into this since birth and the plan has always been taking down this great nation, this beacon of light, this hope of the Earth. You have been taught well grasshopper. Your suspicions about men who dont disclose college and passport applications has finally served you well. You found him out. Obama is really a martian harboring a hard secret. The rabbit hole ia going far deeper than you thought - but kudos to you for not being a sheep at all and finding him out.
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
i adore him!
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"I hate politics and I hate this election, but I LOVE nuts in mouths."
Foot in mouth disease is pretty funny too. Colbert. That was pretty damn good.
ahahahahahaha! LOL nice one Colbert.
Submitted by Gaslight on Thu, 10/25/2012 - 9:17pm.
Submitted by Callie on Thu, 10/25/2012 - 8:38pm.
I get so tired of people screaming "Socialist" when all of us in America benefit from it every day. You really don't want public schools, libraries, student loans, fire fighters, parks, Social Security, Medicare, buses, snow removal, street lights, roads, etc., etc. You REALLY want all of that privatized and to have to pay out of pocket for all of those services? I sure as hell don't want to pay every time I go to the park or to be billed for the electricity for my street lights.
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You are paying for all of these services "out of pocket" everytime you get a paycheck and you look at your deductions. It is called taxes.
Privatizing would be cheaper because you don't have the heavy administrative costs that the government has and you are also increasing competition in the private sector which brings down prices.
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You have obviously never heard of monopolies. Or the fact that "education" at private profiteering institutions like University of Phoenix is not only substandard (they may be losing their accreditation) but most of their students never graduate and take on far more debt than actual college students because these diploma mills care about one thing: money. Or how once the electric grid was broken up and privatized prices shot up.
You also overestimate how much money you or anyone else has for this kind of expense. If your house was burning, you really could afford a bill that could run into the ten's of thousands"? Same with if you were raped or a family member was murdered, you could pay for the prosecution yourself? What about people who can't afford to send their kids to school. I went to private school in the '80's and it was thousands of dollars then. Do we just have tons of uneducated kids growing up to be uneducated adults? Do we put the kids to work in factories?
Also, administration costs are much of what keep our private health insurance costs so high.
How gross would it be for Colbert to hold that rat's nest trying to balance while Jon lifted him up to get them in! hahaha
Besides, Trumpo could never get his mouth around those balls. Those lips are locked in that position! *POP*
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Callie on Thu, 10/25/2012 - 8:38pm.
I get so tired of people screaming "Socialist" when all of us in America benefit from it every day. You really don't want public schools, libraries, student loans, fire fighters, parks, Social Security, Medicare, buses, snow removal, street lights, roads, etc., etc. You REALLY want all of that privatized and to have to pay out of pocket for all of those services? I sure as hell don't want to pay every time I go to the park or to be billed for the electricity for my street lights.
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You are paying for all of these services "out of pocket" everytime you get a paycheck and you look at your deductions. It is called taxes.
Privatizing would be cheaper because you don't have the heavy administrative costs that the government has and you are also increasing competition in the private sector which brings down prices.
You all know I'm not for either candidate and think we're screwed (as usual) no matter what.
But I don't understand how you can be the President (or a candidate) and not have full disclosure on everything (including taxes thank you).
EVERYTHING.
You're going to be this countrys leader for gods sakes.
I want to know everything about every single one of them, not just Obama, but ALL of them FOREVER.
And personally, I can't believe we don't demand it.
That's just as stupid as stars complaining about the paps.
You signed up for the dam job, so that goes with it!
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
No other president has ever sealed their college records. What is he hiding? There is evidence that he received some tuition assistance because he was not a citizen (uh oh). Well what if he WAS a citizen, then was he scamming the system for college tuition? Some have said he was involved in some anti-American protests/groups. IF that is true, then I could see why he wouldn't want that coming out. But seriously, every other President and presidential candidate has released their college records, so why has Obama spend so much money making sure his are sealed? I would sure like to see what is in them.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Submitted by Gem on Thu, 10/25/2012 - 3:07pm.
Hell's bells, who gives a crap what anyone's views were during their college years? Any real grownup knows that your ideologies CAN change with wisdom, experience, age...
It really bugs me that our President is labelled a "socialist" because he tries to make sure that as many Americans as possible are equipped with what are typically considered basics for the middle class: food, shelter, medical care, and a decent education.
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I get so tired of people screaming "Socialist" when all of us in America benefit from it every day. You really don't want public schools, libraries, student loans, fire fighters, parks, Social Security, Medicare, buses, snow removal, street lights, roads, etc., etc. You REALLY want all of that privatized and to have to pay out of pocket for all of those services? I sure as hell don't want to pay every time I go to the park or to be billed for the electricity for my street lights.
Cookie Monster: jeepers, you're gonna develop an ulcer with all that bile!
that's the only way to deal with Trump - laugh at him.
does it make you wonder, though, why our best news source is the Comedy Channel?
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God don't like ugly.
LOVE COLBERT (Stewart's pretty good too) but Colbert is always on point and so hilarious LOLOL He should be weary of putting his balls in the vice that is Trumpo's bitter little pucker mouf!
"Donald Trump is an oozing hairy pimple on humanity's nutsack." - hahaha MK
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Hilarious! Well done Mr. Colbert.
@ cocoebert :
LOL, LOL, LOL.....
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
This is great and Colbert is right on becasue think of it, Trump's proposition was pretty damn rude and the equivalent of asking Obama to engage in a humiliating act for no fucking good reason other than to mock the President and satisfy Trump's hate and fear mongering. Period. So what Colbert did - even though not very PG 13 - was totally right on. I mean Trump really might as well have said "Mr. President i will donate 5 million to your charity of choice if you suck my balls." He used euphemisms while Colbert spelled it out. Brilliant.
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
I enjoy watching Colbert and Stewart. Hilarious!
Rachel Maddow is okay too.
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"Going to Burger King to eat healthy is like going to a prostitute for a hug." Dlister Supah 8.20.11
At least maher, Colbert, Stewart's ridiculous behavior is couched in satire. What kind of legitimate news org would give this bs any air time? Oh yes fox news. And its resonating with a group of xenophobic and rascist people. The repubs are going to have a serious problem when they look around and see a white population in the minority. And that's what, 20 yrs from now? I can't wait to watch the ideological shuffle But I guess I'm getting enough of that with romney.
Submitted by crazyinjapan on Thu, 10/25/2012 - 12:33pm.
I like Colbert and Stewart. I think this joke is pretty clever and it made me laugh. I just wish that they weren't so left leaning (this is coming from a serious Democrat). They should make fun of both sides. Double the laughs!
--I think they both do make fun of the other side. John Stewart's piece about Libya the week it happened was excellent. He gets very upset. But you know who I think is the most unbiased reporter? Piers Morgan. He hammers politicians on both sides, and I love him for that.
I love Steven Colbert.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Thu, 10/25/2012 - 4:05pm
Totally agree, but Stewart's is more of a "serious" show. But I'll never forget the first time I watched Colbert Report. I was laughing the ENTIRE time. He is amazing,and amazing at improv also.
Phew, I certainly wouldn't mind giving Colbert some dipping satisfaction! *blush*
Colbert is funnier than Stewart IMO. Stewart sometimes comes across as smug.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
OMG. The Daily Show/Colbert viewers falsity had to do with them being all college students. Hence the "they're more educated" bullshit. Only immature dense types clap at the inane "comedy" of Jon Stewart or Colbert. Hilariously sad that they never want to approach any of Obama's glaring inconsistencies, but will go on and on and on about the GOP. Redundant and predictable.
Just like the retard Bill Maher. Claims he's an "independent" but more liberal than Rosie ODonnell. He promotes the failed president over and over while attacking the GOP every chance he can. The most GLARING example of hypocrisy is when he would repeatedly slam George Bush over not showing up at certain natural disasters in a timely manner. Yet when a recent natural disaster happened this year and Obama never showed up, Maher replied "yea but he's the president, he's got other places to be." When I heard that lame excuse, I knew he was completely full of shit.
Submitted by Gem on Thu, 10/25/2012 - 3:07pm.
Hell's bells, who gives a crap what anyone's views were during their college years? Any real grownup knows that your ideologies CAN change with wisdom, experience, age...
Gem, I completely agree with you on this statement. People do and can change their views throughout their lives. I did not mean for
the statement I made make it sound like we all have the same views we had in college. I also believe actions speak louder than words and big
government that is rapidly growing bigger is a big red (no pun intended) flag. College records have been available from most of our recent presidents. Everything. That's another thing I feel, when something is being suppressed, makes
my radar go off---and not just with politics.
The daily show and colbert were both awesome last night
http://www.latenightdelight.com
Make sure all his vaccinations are up to date.
submitted by Gem on Thu, 10/25/2012 - 3:09pm.
P.S. I am not so sure that Trump won't call Colbert's bluff on this one! I think Colbert is really a daredevil for making the offer...what WILL he do if Trump decides to take him up on it?
Trump is a clown and he employs clowns.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/us-news-blog/2012/oct/24/donald-trump-ba...
"Human decency is not derived from religion. It precedes it." Christopher Hitchens
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@the Beaver I live in Ohio, which, to quote Stewart, is the only state that matters during the election. Any other time, no one cares about us.
@Few Words I was reading something somewhere that said Daily Show/Colbert Report viewers were more informed and more intelligent that regular news viewers. I also read somewhere that Stewart/Colbert were the most trusted newscasters.
I would gladly take Colbert's balls in my mouth, while face sitting Stewart. Yes, I know I'm not right in the head.
Edna-I love your thoughtful post & excellent advice!
MK: Where's the "Don't Threaten Me with a Good Time" tag?
P.S. I am not so sure that Trump won't call Colbert's bluff on this one! I think Colbert is really a daredevil for making the offer...what WILL he do if Trump decides to take him up on it?
Hell's bells, who gives a crap what anyone's views were during their college years? Any real grownup knows that your ideologies CAN change with wisdom, experience, age...
It really bugs me that our President is labelled a "socialist" because he tries to make sure that as many Americans as possible are equipped with what are typically considered basics for the middle class: food, shelter, medical care, and a decent education.
Colbert! BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
the daily show and colbert nation are the only news i watch or need.
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
go democrats. my teenage queers & i luv you.
vote 4 dems.
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
A link to Beitbart.com? You are kidding, right?
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I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.
"Leave Alicia alone. All Japanese people look the same and China is a very big country".
To those naive (I'm being generous) conspiracy theorists who think that Obama is hiding his true identity/nationality, don't you think that all of his enemies (Republicans, teabaggers, racists, morons, etc.) would have dug it up by now?
THEY HAVEN'T BECAUSE THEY GOT NOTHING ON HIM. OBAMA IS A U.S. CITIZEN.
He is the most powerful person on earth. He never would have been vetted to run for president if that were the case.
GOOD GOD - JUST ADMIT THAT YOU'RE RACIST AND BE DONE WITH THIS BULLSHIT. You can't stand that our president is black. The End.
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THIS. (And thank you)
I love Stephen Colbert. :D
Submitted by Poopele on Thu, 10/25/2012 - 1:20pm.
You kidding? All he'd have to do is yank on the Donald's combover wig, and Trump would run right out of the ring to the men's room!
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Darknight:
http://www.breitbart.com/mediaserver/AE2113BE67D84D089015B1590922AA96.pn...
TO Submitted by Gaslight on Thu, 10/25/2012 - 1:12pm.
Gaslight, you have been "gaslighted".
try to calm down "Mary". your central nervous system is stuck in fight flight fear freeze fawn mode
ask yourself: do you want your body to be making cortisol 24/7 OR making all of your sex hormones (in the right amounts and ratios)
out of the cholesterol your liver s/b making.
it IS a choice.
http://www.gfmer.ch/Books/Reproductive_health/Steroid_hormone_metabolism...
and your entire brain and body and mind pays the price when you make the choice to turn down your Tend Befriend Rest Digest and Repair system and turn up the Fight Fear Flight Freeze Fawn system
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"I (almost) never look back, darling. It distracts from The Now."
= Edna 'E' Mode
Still people are saying Obama is a foreigner?!!??
FUCKIN STILL?! I CAN'T WITH YOU PEOPLE! You know who I blame? The condom that broke producing you fuckwads and natural selection for not doing it's job. FUCKING STUPID SHIT.
It's very simple.
"Stephen Colbert, I will give you TWO million dollars, to the charity of your choice, if you step into a ring and fight me".
- Donald Trump.
Since Colbert is a gutless little punk, it would be all over.
UBF, that's why I think they secretly want to have angry sex with each other. I just made myself throw up.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012