Taylor Swift's Surprise Face Got The Night Off
Taylor Swift is about as country as me drunkenly singing Dolly Parton's disco song at a karaoke bar in Koreatown, but she was still nominated for three Country Music Awards last night. The machine that operates Taylor's facial expressions is so confused right now, because not once did it switch its knob to "OMGICANTBELIEVEAHNEVERWINANYTHING" face. Taylor lost every award. Taylor was up for Entertainer of the Year and she lost to Blake Shelton. Taylor was up for Female Vocalist of the Year and she lost to Miranda Lambert. Taylor was up for CMA Homecoming Queen and she lost to Kenny Chesney. Taylor lost EVERYTHING, but she'll get the last laugh. Right after the show, Taylor held back the tears, ran out of the auditorium, ran to the Tennessee woods, sat under her favorite tree and as the birds (who are always up for Taylor) sang out a melody, she wrote her CMA break-up song. It won't win a CMA next year, but it will win Favorite Pop Song at the People Choice Awards.
Taylor should've known that shit wasn't going to go her way when Carrie Underwears threw a tiny bit of shade at her during the opening (at around the 1:27 mark):
Whatever, Carrie Underwears is just jealous of Taylor. Carrie wore a dress on the red carpet that looked like some kind of tree-eating disease, but Taylor's dress looked like it was suffering from a more serious disease. Taylor ripped the scabs off of her permanently broken heart, slapped 'em on some gauze, sprinkled some glitter on top and called it a dress. Or maybe those are supposed to be open herp sores and it's her way of throwing more hate on John Mayer.
And the REAL winner of the night was Mac McAnally. Dude isn't a winner because he won Musician of the year. Dude's a winner because his name is MAC MCANALLY!
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I really, really like Mac McAnally. First saw him in concert when he was just 18. He opened for Jimmy Buffet. He has written/co-written a lot of Buffet's songs and has been a fixture in Nashville for decades. Glad to see that he was reconized. I have all of his music. Wonderful, wonderful stuff.
Bring back Gretchen Wilson. Country needs a dose of whiskey to wash down Taylor Swift's simple syrup.
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 11/02/2012 - 2:40pm.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Fri, 11/02/2012 - 2:36pm.
The ghosts of Johnny Cash, Townes Van Zandt, and Waylon Jennings are laughing at these poseurs who call themselves "country." ============================================ We seem to be on the same wave length today Twatty. What they are singing in the top 40 country charts at least sure the hell ain't country. It's pop music with a bit of a twang and throwing a cowboy hat on any dickhead don't make em country.
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A-fucking men, brother. My husband plays guitar in a couple of bands, one of them plays older country songs from singers like Carl Perkins and the other names you mentioned. He actually wrote a song about what a bitch Carrie W. is. We can't STAND her!!
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That's a very expensive chardonnay you're not drinking...
One more note:
A friend of mine went drag on Halloween and wore a wig (raven black) that looks just like Taylor's hair style.
He also had that same shade of lipstick.
(And a red pair of fierce boots that he bought at Goodwill...size 13)
The fact that he looks like Fred Flinstone aside, he at least pulled it off with a red head band.
I will never look at her the same.
I actually like her dress for some reason. Her hair color, however, is dreadful. It's not even a color - it's what I call a "non-color." It's like that drab, beige-y color that office equipment comes in (I call it "Compu-Grey"). Or mushroom, or oyster. Who goes to the salon and says "Please dye me hair a fetching shade of oyster-flesh gray"?!?!
Submitted by louise_brooks on Fri, 11/02/2012 - 1:07pm.
sushi- I always get her husband confused with Hillary Duff's husband. But I agree, he looks like a lunkhead. There are much hotter guys in hockey. Patrick Sharp leaps to mind.
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Amen Louise! Patrick Sharp is freaking HOT. Love him!
Hilarious.
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"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."
Jillian I think she lost because she broke up with the Kennedys...they know people. Plus, she was about to cry like she was SUPPOSED to win. Hers was a look of helplessness if you watch it in slow mo. That's what happens if you date a Kennedy...just look at Marilyn Monroe. Be warned.
Yikes! You're right!
OOOOOOOps:(
Submitted by Jintess on Fri, 11/02/2012 - 3:42pm.
Aww my dear WO
Miranda is a bitch. Brad is a flake who cheated on his wife with Miranda. I'm not a fan of either, though I admit she can sing and to this day like his original hit "Austin"
Love the thought of Brad's 'trophy wife' getting fat, though :D
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I think his name is Blake...
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Fri, 11/02/2012 - 2:56pm.
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I really like this Conway Twitty song and if you'd like to dance you just let me know and we'll take a spin out on the old barn-board floor.
*tips hat and smiles*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RN2tdIf52QA
Aww my dear WO
Miranda is a bitch. Brad is a flake who cheated on his wife with Miranda. I'm not a fan of either, though I admit she can sing and to this day like his original hit "Austin"
Love the thought of Brad's 'trophy wife' getting fat, though :D
@ Twatty....exact same with me Twatty, not that I know a heck of a lot about C&W by anymeans but I do like that REAL Honky Tonk, Bakersfield old Nashville styles of C & W.
I like songs about drinkin, lovin, fightin and all that old timey stuff.
I would LOVE to be able to share music on here that would be great.
Oh thank god, her 15 minutes are coming to a end? Yes.
Here's the thing, I cannot stand modern country/pop country/hot country, whatever they're calling it, but I do think Miranda Lambert is pretty cool. I wouldn't buy her album or anything, but I think she's a good writer and singer. With that said, I agree with the others that she's a chunky monkey. Her weight fluctuates constanstly, and if she doesn't get a handle on it she'll end up like Wynona. Sorry, but it's true.
Just a random note, I heard a preview for a song from her new CD "Red" (No idea what the song was) but the music sounded very VERY much like the music from The Band Perry's song "If I die young".
It would be really cool if more people went after her for stealing.
Listen, I respect that Taylor Swift writes her own shit, good on her. But like, I fucking cannot stand this bitch. She's 22, and while yes, I realize that's young, her last 'boyfriend' was an 18 year old JUNIOR (wut?) in high school. Being cutesy and naive is fucking annoying and not attractive over the age of like... 15. She's into "true love" and "fairy tales" and all that bullshit. Ugh. She seems like she would be super clingy and annoying to date.
In like 10 years she's gonna have a case of the Zellweger squints.
: )
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The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 11/02/2012 - 2:36pm.
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Fri, 11/02/2012 - 1:54pm.
I just saw Miranda Lambert on the local news. I hate to say it, but she's going to be really, really fat one day.
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AI had to look her up as I had no clue BUT I have to agree by the pictures I saw and her face looks....strange. I'm not sure what it is but things just dont seem to be where they should be.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QdIEoub4-qo/TgYkC787ehI/AAAAAAAAHgg/zVSbOCCBUM...
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Leave Miranda alone! She's quite pretty and anyway, she's not the same kind of artist that others are. She's about her music not about her looks. : )
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The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
Whamo -- if I am going to listen to country, it's going to be old Conway Twitty, Hank Williams, Patsy Cline, stuff like that. And I don't know if this song is country, but I like that song by the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, "Will the Circle Be Unbroken" -- maybe it's bluegrass? I wish we could share music here.
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
I think Carrie Underwood is pretty and she does have a decent voice, but I've heard the bitch thing about her way too many times for it to not be true. Just like Faith Hill before her.
Also who likes Taylor Swift? She's not very cute and her music is shit. Country music doesn't even want her and that says a lot.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Fri, 11/02/2012 - 2:36pm.
The ghosts of Johnny Cash, Townes Van Zandt, and Waylon Jennings are laughing at these poseurs who call themselves "country."
==============================================
We seem to be on the same wave length today Twatty. What they are singing in the top 40 country charts at least sure the hell ain't country. It's pop music with a bit of a twang and throwing a cowboy hat on any dickhead don't make em country.
Miranda Lambert used to be a lot bigger. She lost a lot of chunk after she got engaged to Blake.
So, yeah, the fat girl gene is running thick with her. But I do think her face is beautiful.
Redmond thanks, I've been wanting to check it out.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love that Brad and Carrie made fun of the POS song.
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Fri, 11/02/2012 - 1:54pm.
I just saw Miranda Lambert on the local news. I hate to say it, but she's going to be really, really fat one day.
=============================================
AI had to look her up as I had no clue BUT I have to agree by the pictures I saw and her face looks....strange. I'm not sure what it is but things just dont seem to be where they should be.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QdIEoub4-qo/TgYkC787ehI/AAAAAAAAHgg/zVSbOCCBUM...
The ghosts of Johnny Cash, Townes Van Zandt, and Waylon Jennings are laughing at these poseurs who call themselves "country."
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Submitted by tonicbitch on Fri, 11/02/2012 - 2:18pm.
Redmond is that show any good?
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I actually kinda like it. It's super soapy, but in a good way. And it has Powers Booth playing the main character's evil rich daddy!
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Fri, 11/02/2012 - 2:18pm.
REDMOND -- I've heard that Carrie is a real bitch. Like I said earlier, everything about her, from her looks to her actions, smacks of a mean girl to me. That look is not going to be so cute when she's 50.
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
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I totally believe it. I hate her fucking face.
Ugh! Carrie Fuckerwears hosting again? Please go away!
_________________________
The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
Submitted by fishsticksfan :
FUCK carrie underwears. She's such a passive aggressive cunt.
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Agreed. Plus she always wants the focus on her.
Here she is w/o makeup....a very basic bitch.
http://www.zeromakeup.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/carrie-underwood-no...
Redmond is that show any good?
REDMOND -- I've heard that Carrie is a real bitch. Like I said earlier, everything about her, from her looks to her actions, smacks of a mean girl to me. That look is not going to be so cute when she's 50.
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
So I've been watching that new show "Nashville" and I'm pretty sure the bitch Hayden Paniwhatever plays is based on Taylor Swift-Kennedy.
And I cosign with all the Carrie Underwear haters. She comes acoss as such a smug bitch for an American Idol winner...
They both put the cunt in cuntry.
I just saw Miranda Lambert on the local news. I hate to say it, but she's going to be really, really fat one day.
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
She always looks sly like she'll shank you if you let down your guard.
Watch out, bitch, or I'll write a really annoying, crappy song about you and make tons of money off it!
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This kid has eleventy billion dollars for selling her whiny AutoTuned "confessional" songs, so what does SHE care about a bunch of redneck music awards? She'll get a slew of Grammys next year for being the McDonalds of the recording industry.
Shit, this girl is about as country as The Monkees.
It is about time she stop winning awards for a music genre she is NOT part of.
She's a little pop princess who adds a little country to that junk.
Carrie Underwood looks good. When you look at all the American Idol winners, she's the only one (except Kelly Clarkson) who was really a star.
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"That shit was more staged and choreographed than Paul Ryan's soup kitchen visit."- MK, 10/16/12
What is wrong with Taylor's face? I can't seem to put my finger on it.
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
sushi- I always get her husband confused with Hillary Duff's husband. But I agree, he looks like a lunkhead. There are much hotter guys in hockey. Patrick Sharp leaps to mind.
Submitted by tonicbitch on Fri, 11/02/2012 - 12:53pm.
http://www.gigwise.com/news/77417/did-taylor-swift-steal-matt-nathansons...
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Thanks for posting this. It would be interesting that it is Matt Nathanson, one of the most unassuming normal artists out there, is the one to finally crack Miss Fakeypants facade.
I am on my phone and it's not behaving so I can't listen to her song (maybe my phone actually loves me and is trying to protect me) but "I Saw" is one of my favorite songs, and from what is written in the article, the two sets of lyrics seem almost word for word. Plus, as mentioned, I know she is a fan. Nothing shows love to your favorite artist like stealing his lyrics. I love Matt, and I think he would be a really good ally. However, he also has a quick wit and speaks fluent sarcasm, so I wouldn't want to piss him off either...
Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Fri, 11/02/2012 - 12:42pm.
Carrie is make-up pretty. She wouldn't look like anything special if she wiped the spackle off.
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Agreed. And I know puck bunnies love her husband but he looks like a dumb lunkhead.
Did you see the pics of Faith Hill? Brow lift is scary and she needs to put on some chunk.
http://www.gigwise.com/news/77417/did-taylor-swift-steal-matt-nathansons...
That's the perfect dress to wear on your period.
I thoroughly enjoyed every second of that (scripted) shade + yay, bitch ain't won no awards this year.
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"If French is the language of love, then Spanish is the language of badassery!" -MK
Of course they were going to make fun of that shit song! How does that make Carrie a mean girl?