Monday, November 5th 2012

Veronica Mars Is Going To Be A Mom

I always forget that Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell are bumping genitals and I guess they're still bumping genitals and all the genital bumping they're doing led to a fetus in Veronica Mars' womb. Dax and Kristen started doing it full-time in 2007 and they got engaged in 2009, but they have always said that they're pulling some Brangelina shit, because they're not getting married until everyone can get married. While they're waiting for that to happen, they made a baby. Dax and Kristen's rep confirms the news to People and said this:

“They’re so excited — they’re both ecstatic. They can’t wait to become parents. Kristen had a little bit of morning sickness early on but she just started shooting the second season of House of Lies and is feeling great now.”

I really, really hope that Veronica Mars lets Dax Shepard name their first kid. Dax's parents named him DAX and so he obviously has the give-a-baby-a-fucked-up-name gene and so Kristen should let him handle that. Besides, if a baby coming out of her poon is as exciting to Kristen as sloths, then she'll be too stunned with excitement to form words.

And because no story is complete without man nipples, here's a topless Dax shooting scenes for that When in Rome crap back in 2008. Dax always confuses me, because he's like equal parts Ashton Kutcher and Owen Wilson. I don't know if I would. Okay, I would. The leather belt dick is what did it for me.

Posted by: Michael K


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shandi's picture

I am 43 and went to grade school with a boy named FAX. I like the name!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK

I love her on House of Lies.

Sarah Smile

loopygorilla's picture

whatevs, yal take dax shepard and ill take the guy next to dax.

Maybe I'm old but her overreacting shit annoys the fuck outta me. No wait, I've always hated drama queens. I'll bet she was one of those screechy tweeners. Barf.

I have seen them in a few interviews, and I always find them to be pretty genuine. I remember thinking that they were a weird couple when they first started dating, but I think they are cute now. Besides, I am a fan of VM and Parenthood. Congrats!

I don't like his acting, but they do seem like a cute couple and nonfamewhorey. Any dude who arranges for a sloth to be delivered to his girlfriend for her birthday must be serious.

*********

I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

salacious's picture

For some reason that video about her going apeshit about sloths creeps me out. I don't find it cute at all and it just screams "bipolar" to me. Hopefully she will keep the insane gene to herself. That said, congrats!

WithinReason...'s picture

The only interview of his I've seen was quite funny and she's cute. Congrats to them on the news of the baby. ;p

"The leather belt dick is what did it for me." -- lmao MK, I ♡ how your mind works!

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░

Bossy's picture

I'm sick of this engaged and pregnant shit.

chlyn's picture

After he started appearing on Punkd, he'd troll the internet for sex and he didn't disguise his name. He would sleep with anybody and everybody. I'm very surprised to see him settle down with one person.

She is really cute. If this were her and John Kransinksi my head would explode from hot geeky cuteness.

Sadly, it's not. :(

CokeyBloke's picture

No hate. She's cute and was great in Sarah Marshall (that *was* her, right?) and I hear he's good in Parenthood.

Condi the ingrown toenail's picture

Aw, I remember when I used to love Bell in the first season of VM (the subsequent two were shit). Congratulations to her and Shepard, and I hope they don't name the kid Sloth.

Aphid's picture

For some reason I've always liked them both. Congrats you crazy kids.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
That's a very expensive chardonnay you're not drinking...

Twat Muffin's picture

ba-buttons & annobanano -- we are talking about the knit hat, aren't we? I, too, can live with the Rat Pack hat, but the knit hat on a man makes me all sorts of stabby.

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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"

M.E.'s picture

As much as I can recall neither of them have done anything to irritate me, so, congrats.

I LOVE that sloth video. It cracks me up every time. I'm a big VMars fan, so I can't help but like Kristen. They're a weird couple, but seem happy and low key. Can't hate.

annobanano's picture

I actually hate the knit hat he has on more than the rat pack wanna-be lid.

But I kinda like these two - hometown kids and all.

ISprainedMyUvula's picture

I really like them together. This is good news.

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If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.

Chris Ecclestons Concubine's picture

Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 2:15pm.
The rumor on the street is he is a blessed man if you catch my drift. :)

+++

He would have to be. No man with that face could get laid without having a cucumber dick.

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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.

LisaRose's picture

She won me over with her love for sloths! Been a fan ever since!

_______________________

www.dungeonhordes.com

_______________________

Twat Muffin's picture

ba-buttons -- I think I love you. I have a hat like that, but I'm a chick & I look cute in mine. No man should wear that hat. A dude wearing that hat deserves to have the crap beaten out of him. Go, ba-buttons!

=======================================================

"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"

jack-n-the-hat's picture

Submitted by ba-buttons on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 1:44pm.

lol!!

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"Shitty relationships mystify me." ~ mike 09/22/2012

"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers

warmislandsun's picture

Submitted by SANS FARDS on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 1:12pm.
Didn't he used to date Kate Hudson? upgrade!

He dated Kate Hudson? Wow, everybody and their cousin has done her.

MissJaneTexas's picture

The rumor on the street is he is a blessed man if you catch my drift. :)

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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012

Lily85's picture

She's also the voice of Gossip Girl.

I truly believe that you haven't begun to scoop up all of life's beautiful moments until you've heard the line "Watch the wig!" from a piece while sitting on their face. - MK

Ophelias evil twin's picture

Submitted by AtomicCity on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 1:33pm.
Ophelia, me too. I love goofy, dorky guys. Zach Braff is dreamy but Jim from The Office (because I'm unsure of how to John Krazinski) is my ideal guy.
I think these two are super cute.

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oh yes, he's on my geek to do list as well. Wish there were guys like that at my office. All we got here are loud moufs, show offs and brown noser types.

Chris Ecclestons Concubine's picture

He's hideous and she's boring as shit.

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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.

Orangina's picture

Dax has a punchable "DURR" face and she's cross-eyed so I wish this kid the best of luck.

Hekki's picture

Submitted by ba-buttons: "If there is one piece of clothing that embodies all that is douchetatstic about hipsterism, it's that stupid hat.

ba-buttons must admit, he has a bad habit of picking fights with guys just for wearing hats like that."

*swoon*

He's not sexy at all. In that 5th thumbnail he resembles Joe Simpson's piece, Bryce Chandler Hill (only uglier).

ba-buttons's picture

If there is one piece of clothing that embodies all that is douchetatstic about hipsterism, it's that stupid hat.

ba-buttons must admit, he has a bad habit of picking fights with guys just for wearing hats like that.

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Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Thu, 01/19/2012 - 11:56am.

Liver spotted hand
Groping while I cry inside
Merit badge and meth

literarylioness's picture

I think this is an answer to a blind.

AtomicCity's picture

Ophelia, me too. I love goofy, dorky guys. Zach Braff is dreamy but Jim from The Office (because I'm unsure of how to John Krazinski) is my ideal guy.
I think these two are super cute.

Ophelias evil twin's picture

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 1:24pm.

haha go to town girl.. ;)

Hekki's picture

ETA: Never mind, I missed that MK and everyone else noticed the belt dick.

In the minority because she annoys me. She has that prissy manner of speaking (even though I talk like that; maybe it's a case of despising in others what you hate about yourself).

But she gets points for not being a Lohan or Kardashian.

And I don't know anything about him, except that I confuse him with Dane Cook.

At any rate, they have some attractive genes, so they'll have some cute kids.

OurMissC's picture

LOL at leather belt dick! MK doesn't miss a thing!

"Don't hate. Excel." - the divine Sweetas

Twat Muffin's picture

Ophelias evil twin -- thanks, hon, I will take care of the "Mad Men" dude(s) on my own. Jon Hamm & John Slattery are mine, all mine.

=======================================================

"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"

parissucksliterally's picture

Good for them.

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Oh - you want me to watch my mouth, how?
Take my fuckin eyeballs out, and turn em around?

letinstar's picture

well...kristen doesn't bother me...and i don't know enough about dax to comment either way...

congrats...

____________________________________________
"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr

M.E.'s picture

MK - WHY THE FUCK DID I JUST GET A POP UP AD WITH JERRY BROWN RAPING MY EAR DRUMS????????????????????????????????????????

jack-n-the-hat's picture

I like these two... he was hilarious when he was on Punk'd and she's cuter than shit! They seem genuinely happy and that is rare... congrats on the upcoming 250k (minimum) investment with little to modest return.

----------------------------------------------
"Shitty relationships mystify me." ~ mike 09/22/2012

"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers

SANS FARDS's picture

Didn't he used to date Kate Hudson? upgrade!
_______________________________________________

Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.

"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."

PrettyHateMachine's picture

I love Kristen Bell. And they seem happy together so congrats to them!

Ophelias evil twin's picture

that sloth vid LOL! She is an adorable girl.
Dax is a type that I call geeky hawt. I like Zack Braff too. Now you Dlist ladies understand why I don't go all gagas over that Mad Men dude. I likes my men quirky.

SoMissDelicious's picture

You know, a lot of actors in the bromedy genre make have serious rage face at their sheer level of douchetasticness. Like ashton and company, but ive never gotten that vibe from dax. He seems like the type that is super chill and just goes to work and has a good time, so grats to dax and veronica mars

I think they are an adorable couple.

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There might have been a time when I would let you slip away
I wouldn't even try
But I think you could save my life