Beyonce Gives Obama The Last-Minute Pep Talk He Really, Rally Needed
We already know that when a polling place in Lower Manhattan is cleared of peons and the walls are painted white and the windows are covered with white silk curtains and dozens of lit Jo Malone candles are placed on every table, Beyonce will then sashay in with her votin' wig on and vote for you know who. The lights will dim, everyone will hold her breath and Beyonce's ladies-in-waiting will aim electronic fans at her as she pulls out her custom-made House of Dereon platinum voting wand and places it on Obama's name. Then everyone will exhale and she'll dramatically turn around and sing an election day version of Forever Your Girl. Here's some sample lyrics:
Hey Bama, you gotta remember
I'm forever your girl
Bama forever and ever and ever
You know I amBama pick your head up
Come on and look me in the face
'Cause I can tell that somethin' is bringin' you down
(Why are you down?)Is it the rumor that another candidate wants to take your place?
(I hear he's after your vote)
Have you been hearin' the stories, they're goin' around?
(All of Fox News is talkin')Bama, just remember I gave you my vote
Ain't Romney gonna tear us apart
He could promise the moon and the stars above
Even if he promised me a tax breakJust remember I'm forever your gurrr-er-earl
In short: Beyonce is Obama's biggest stan and so of course she's voting for her ass. And last night, she made it clear AGAIN by writing him an open letter and putting it up on her site:

So where is Melissa Joan Hart's "Dear Mittens, I'm Forever Your Girl" open letter?! Explain that, Clarissa.
And I can't wait until tonight when CNN breaks into election day results to report that a 4th grader at an elementary school in Houston is accusing Beyonce of stealing the letter to Obama she wrote. That Beyonce can't stop thieving even on election day. SHAME. LESS.


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In this sense,the 20th century is a real fashion era,and before that,fashion more performance for the traditional fixed custom standard efforts anastomosis,and unconsciously follow flow.From the beginning of the 20th century show the unique.Einstein's special theory of relativity and freudian psychoanalysis,Picasso's cubist paintings and Duncan anti traditional modern dance,all performance new century vitality,at that time the east
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That is the most heartfelt letter she could come up with for someone she adores and admires. Shit. My 9 year old wrote a better book report about a book that he despised. She might want to quit working on "fashion" and work on an education instead.
her haircut looks like the offspring of a bowl cut and a mullet.
"Everyday"
LOL
Fucking moron
Submitted by CandyPerfumeGirl on Tue, 11/06/2012 - 5:53pm.
@ literarylioness ,
she sang the inauguration song "At last" for the obamas wetting her panties while she was doing it. She aint no republican.
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I know, but I know I've read somewhere she is a registered Republican.
How old is this stupid cunt? 8?
_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
A thread that mixes politics, Obama, Beyonce's obvious butt kissing, Beyonce's 8th grade handwriting, Beyonce's votin wig....AND THERE IS ONLY A LITTLE OVER 100 SOME COMMENTS?! Good Lordy. What is going on in these lower chats. This is a disgrace.
;)
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Ugh. This bitch.
Submitted by CandyPerfumeGirl on Tue, 11/06/2012 - 4:18pm.
Do you people realize that obama, beyonce, jay-z, all of congress and just about anyone who is anyone is part of the 1%? And we, as part of the 99%, are looking to THOSE entities to make things right? Really?
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Marry me. I couldn't have said it better. THISNESS UP IN HERE. Every.Last.Word.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Poopele on Tue, 11/06/2012 - 8:52pm.
Poopele, it takes character to know character. Your comments for years have proven you to be unqualified to make a judgement in that arena.
Why don't you go troll the Huffington post or something?
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God don't like ugly.
Any person trying to make the claim that Barack Obama is a man of character is out of touch with reality.
Barack Obama is the exact opposite of a man with character.
All these uneducated moron celebrities supporting Nobama is exactly the reason I don't. He's just another media creation who has done nothing but run the country into the ground for four years. God help us if he wins again.
Submitted by CandyPerfumeGirl on Tue, 11/06/2012 - 4:18pm.
*applauds and buys you a beer*
Very well said.
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"Shitty relationships mystify me." ~ mike 09/22/2012
"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers
g
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the idea that money "washes away" color is ridiculous.
i can walk into a store with hundreds of dollars in my pocket and more in the bank - and I have - wearing nice clothes, tasteful and expensive jewelry, speaking english flawlessly and with plenty big words (that was a joke), and still be given the straight-up hood rat treatment.
I can't tell you how many times I've called a place on the phone and been treated to great customer service and professionalism, only to have that attitude dissolve into rudeness and dismissal the minute those same employees see my face.
while i would never want to be white, i think my blood pressure would be a lot lower if i was.
but, if you want to believe that race doesn't matter, go ahead and keep fucking that chicken. the experience of millions of americans like me proves you to be a fool, at the very least.
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God don't like ugly.
Submitted by kieranx on Tue, 11/06/2012 - 3:30pm.
How many innocent alpacas had to die for this trick's newest weave, which looks about as authentic as her pregnancy.
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Alpacas do not die for their fur. You just shear them like a sheep. They can live up to 25 years and produce a nice coat every single year. That is a lot of beautiful fiber.
My alpaca's name is Walter and he is the shit.
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squirrels to the nuts!
Apparently Matthew & Tina didn't waste any time or money on education -- this bitch doesn't have the slightest grip on grammar, especially capitalization.
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"I don't know how to argue my existence with someone who has reviewed a gas station." ~~Laurie Notaro
@ literarylioness ,
she sang the inauguration song "At last" for the obamas wetting her panties while she was doing it. She aint no republican.
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
@ megank,
exactly. Her money is the reason they can be anything, not the fact that obama does anything. Obama is a hedgefund democrat who is being oposed simply becasue he isnt part of the good ol' white racist redneck boys. If he was white, everyone would support him.
people like oprah and even beyonce were able to make it in this country desite being black long before obama had any say and they will long after becasue, see folks, it is money that matters not race. As marx once said, racism is just another form of class warfare. Once you are rich, whatever color you have washes out and what remains is the money and wealth by which you are judged. Hence Oprah being a huge hit and beyonce and michale jackson. In the end, money talks - race is an excuse to keep people marginalized and exploited and unload racial stereotypes on them to keep justify their oppression. Once they are out of poverty, suddenly money matters.
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
Isn't she a devote Republican?
I thought she was a Republican, last election.
Submitted by TelevisedRevolution on Tue, 11/06/2012 - 5:21pm.
sushi says:
"JZ was a drug dealer. A violent one. Other drug dealers could be inspired to rap to the biggest consumers of rap -- white teens."
1: the fact is that there are more white people dealing and using drugs than black. black people get convicted more often and serve more severe sentences for the same crime.
2: how does being a drug dealer magically give you the skills to rap?if you think about it, that connection isn't at all logical.
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(1) Did I say "black drug dealers." I never made a distinction.
(2) Never said being a drug dealer gives skills to rap.
(3) I was simply making a joke about Jay-Z's past. Nothing more, nothing less.
For fucks sake people, lighten up.
Submitted by ReallyReal on Tue, 11/06/2012 - 5:02pm.
Keep it real, cuz you said it all in your post. This black/Creole dipshit acting like she knows something because shaking her ass got her some money. I like how Obummer supporters say it's not about race but then go on about his color.
We need four more years of this shit? Fuck that. Send that half white idiot back to Hawaii and put a fuckin coconut on his head. Dumb ass needs to get out of office.
"You are the reason my daughter and nephew can grow up to be anybody they want to be."
Yeah right, Obama is not the reason. Your millions are the reason. Get it real Beyonce.
I voted for Gary Johnson for one reason because we need the 2 party system to change. Hopefully he gets 5% of the vote.
sushi says:
"JZ was a drug dealer. A violent one. Other drug dealers could be inspired to rap to the biggest consumers of rap -- white teens."
1: the fact is that there are more white people dealing and using drugs than black. black people get convicted more often and serve more severe sentences for the same crime.
2: how does being a drug dealer magically give you the skills to rap?if you think about it, that connection isn't at all logical.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
God don't like ugly.
What annoys me about this bitch is she never has anything profound or substantial to say, yet she insists on being in our face with her shit. She has never talked about politics, but rather what her favorite color is, I think it's blue or something.
Now, she's all up in everyone's faces supposedly supporting B. Obama, but not stating the reasons why. Because he's black? Bitch please, I'm gonna need you to come back stronger than that. Instead of objectively discussing why she believes he deserves a second term, she talking 'bout Obama for yo mama. So in other words, she's trying to make the sheep follow her, while she herself is following, and with a blank head at that.
She's a huge part of the reason I won't vote. I can't vote for Romney and I'm sure in the hell not voting for someone who supports known thieves. It shows me what kind of people the Obama's are. They are just as bad as anyone else.
Submitted by Event Horizon on Tue, 11/06/2012 - 2:26pm.
@sushi
J-Z inspires drug dealers???
You realize the biggest consumers of rap music are surburban white teens right?
You fucking foolish, ignorant degenerate.
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JZ was a drug dealer. A violent one. Other drug dealers could be inspired to rap to the biggest consumers of rap -- white teens.
No need to be so fucking nasty by the way.
"She only voted for Obama because he's black." Umm...are you admitting you voted for Romney because he's white then? Your logic is screwed. The woman and her husband have been to rallies, held fundraisers, and attended political events. Even the dumbest among us would have absorbed at least one or two of the issues at some point with that kind of commitment. With that much talking out of your ass syndrome, you sound dumber than we like to pretend she is. Not to mention racist and elitist.
@ Event Horizon ,
down boy before you strain yourself.
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
Submitted by misslainey on Tue, 11/06/2012 - 3:26pm.
Submitted by CandyPerfumeGirl on Tue, 11/06/2012 - 1:42pm.
Well, did black folks support Allen Keyes? And Colin Powell had more than his share of black detractors. And since black comprise less than 12% of the US population (and less out of that population voted) how did Obama get elected?
Lastly, all black people do not support all black candidates. I am black and I did not vote for Obama either time.
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Well the question I wanted to ask is why isn't the same question asked of white folks who support Romney?
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You smell kinda pretty. Wanna smell me?
Do you people realize that obama, beyonce, jay-z, all of congress and just about anyone who is anyone is part of the 1%? And we, as part of the 99%, are looking to THOSE entities to make things right? Really?
This whole election is bullshit. Beyonce is bullshit, heck even Obama is bullshit. If he looses, he is not losing anything but his ego and a seat on air force one - because as part of the 1% he's got his millions; he doesnt have to worry about how to put food on the table or pay for his kid's tuition if some 0.1%er like Romney wins. Neither does nancy Pelosi with her wineyards in napa and real estate in the bay area, or Michelle Obama or any member of congress or Beyonce, Jay z, chris brown, rihanna or John Hamm. None of those dildos are affected by this - in fact, Romney is THEIR man if they werent so bullshitting (even obama the closet hedge fund democrats is their man if you ask me). This isa race to the bottom as in who can take better care of the 99% becasue anyone can take of the 1%.
So while i applaud obama for not being Romney and thus a plutocratic elistic prick, I want you all to take a long hard look at these people and remember that all the publicity talks aside, they are all part of the 1%. And if you really think any of THEM, with their designer jeans, 100,000 dollars wig collection, their Maybachs, garish McMansions, stock portfolios, yachts and trust funds - futile symbols of impermanence to quell their quivering, spineless souls - are going to do anything to fundamentally change the status quo in this country in favor of the 99%, then you are more delusional than i thought you'd be.
These folks ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM. If you look at these plutocratic obscenely wealthy 1% dildo heads to solutions for the 99% you will be looking long and hard - and in vain.
I wanna see Jay-z and his wife put their words where their mouth is and give up all their excessive, million dollar jewelry for my fetus wealth (while still having enough to lead a great life); I want to see them go to capitol hill and DEMAND to be taxed higher and loopholes closed....and until that happens all this bullshit, smooth, jerk-off, asskissing talk to the POTUS cause he is a "brother" and one of you so so he "gets you" about how he's made it possible for your daughter to live in a fair society blah blah blah is just that. Talk and publicity and feel better about the obscene wealth you accumulated renting out an entire hospital wing so your wife gets to do what every roach and dung beetle has, give birth - while millions have no health insurance, let alone can afford to rent an entire hospital wing for their plutocratic asses.
This election is bullshit. Nothing will change. The rich are for the rich and everyone else will eek by. Get rich and die trying is the american dream.
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
there are so many other African Americans who I think could be reps for Obama, but the campaign anointed a couple who've half made their careers out of selling sex and flaunting wealth. Jennifer Hudson, John Legend, Kerry Washington, even Raven Simone could all have represented Obama's campaign, but no. I dance to Beyonce songs and listened to Destiny's Child when growing up, but why is the president all over her and her misogynistic husband? and her "at last" rendition sucked too. So sick of these people.
You know how when you see someone doing something so embarrassing, with such confidence because they think it's the most awesome shit ever and don't realize just how horrifying it is, that you in turn feel embarrassed for them as if it were yourself.... It's time for Beyonce to retire her weave and take care of her surrogate Spanish pillow baby Blue Ivy, and call it a fuckin day because that was some ugly shit.
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"What if all you understand could fit into the center of a hand? And then you found it wasn't you, who held the sum of everything you knew?"
How many innocent alpacas had to die for this trick's newest weave, which looks about as authentic as her pregnancy.
You make me hate my hips! I hate my hips!
Submitted by CandyPerfumeGirl on Tue, 11/06/2012 - 1:42pm.
Well, did black folks support Allen Keyes? And Colin Powell had more than his share of black detractors. And since black comprise less than 12% of the US population (and less out of that population voted) how did Obama get elected?
Lastly, all black people do not support all black candidates. I am black and I did not vote for Obama either time.
Can't stand her she is such a fake.
PEPPER FOR PRESIDENT!!!
That outfit looks like something out of 'Coffee Talk with Linda Richman'.
Did Beyonce even graduate the 8th grade? So fucking smug for no fucking reason. Hate this bitch.
OK, so I went and voted, even though everything and everybody I'm voting for will be shot down. All the candidate's pep squads were out however many feet away is legal with their signs and crap. I schlep to the voting area, where chicks were passing out coupons for free chicken sandwiches from Chik Fil A. They gave them to the workers and the voters. One of the chicks tried to give me one, but I said, "No, thanks. I know what Chik Fil A stands for, and I think it's wrong that you've infiltrated the voting area."
Submitted by TexnDoc on Tue, 11/06/2012 - 2:36pm.
It will be nice having Donnie and Marie back at the White House. I think Nixon hosted them once.
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For sure, just the lack of booze being served should save the taxpayers millions!
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squirrels to the nuts!
@howdareyou
Im just done with people thinking their political affilation somehow makes it ok for them to make racist, ignorant, misguided comments and act like it's ok because, you know.....the economy or whatever. Ugh, I can't wait for this election to be over with!
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
"I'm doin hoe activities, with hoe energy. Hoes are my friends, hoes are my enemies."
It will be nice having Donnie and Marie back at the White House. I think Nixon hosted them once.
Good GOD she sucks.
Jesse Jackson won because that motherfucker is the type that would CUT YOUR NUTS OFF if you didn't vote for him!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQl_6buUggM
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"Shitty relationships mystify me." ~ mike 09/22/2012
"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers
Vote Cthulu, 2012. Because why vote for the lesser evil?
Butterfly in the sky
I can go twice as high
Take a look
It's in a book
Pig-fucking movie
Pig-fucking movie
Submitted by Event Horizon on Tue, 11/06/2012 - 2:26pm.
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What's with all the name-calling today? I never noticed your name doing this before.
´¨¨) -:¦:-
¸.•´ .•´¨¨)
(¸¸.•´ ..•´ but what do I know?-:¦:-
-:¦:- (¸¸.•´*
She should consult with Goopy about what kind of $50 per sheet stationery she should be using. That looks like plain white copy paper to me. So pedestrian.
She needs to have some hand-harvested linen with her trademarked logo on it.