Guy Fieri's New Restaurant Is A Gourmet Wonderland
Thanks to Applebee's, Dave and Buster's, Dallas BBQ, Chevys, Red Lobster and Olive Garden, Times Square is the culinary capital of New York City and now it's the culinary capital of the world. Times Square can thank Guy Fieri (born name: Guy Ferry, which sounds like the name of John Travolta's boys, booze and blow jobs cruise) for making that happen, because that's where he opened his three-story, 500-seat gourmet emporium called Guy's American Kitchen & Bar. The New York Times reviewed Guy's latest mess of an eating place and the review is full of so much gold that I just want to slather it with donkey sauce, top it with SMC and eat it all. Let's start with the ingenious names for some of the gourmet dingles on Guy's menu:
- Guy’s Pat LaFrieda custom blend, all-natural Creekstone Farm Black Angus beef patty, LTOP (lettuce, tomato, onion + pickle), SMC (super-melty-cheese) and a slathering of Donkey Sauce on garlic-buttered brioche
- Awesome Pretzel Chicken Tenders
- Ain’t No Thing Butta Chicken Wing
- Guy-talian Nachos
The Times' Peter Wells then went off and created a masterpiece of a review. Guy's food is just like him, it's gross, full of lard and putting your mouth on it will give you a never-ending case of the wet shits. That's what it did to Peter and he let it all out in his review. Here's just a few of his greatest hits:
- Hey, did you try that blue drink, the one that glows like nuclear waste? The watermelon margarita? Any idea why it tastes like some combination of radiator fluid and formaldehyde?
- When you hung that sign by the entrance that says, WELCOME TO FLAVOR TOWN!, were you just messing with our heads?
- What accounts for the vast difference between the Donkey Sauce recipe you’ve published and the Donkey Sauce in your restaurant? Why has the hearty, rustic appeal of roasted-garlic mayonnaise been replaced by something that tastes like Miracle Whip with minced raw garlic? And when we hear the words Donkey Sauce, which part of the donkey are we supposed to think about?
- Is the entire restaurant a very expensive piece of conceptual art? Is the shapeless, structureless baked alaska that droops and slumps and collapses while you eat it, or don’t eat it, supposed to be a representation in sugar and eggs of the experience of going insane?
- Why did the toasted marshmallow taste like fish?
ATMOSPHERE 500 seats, three levels, three bars, one chaotic mess.
SERVICE The well-meaning staff seems to realize that this is not a real restaurant.
SOUND LEVEL Rawk and roll, but at moderate volumes.
Guy's restaurant should be shut down and he should be prosecuted to the furthest extent of the law for making toasted marshmallows taste like fish. That's like a dream wrapped in a nightmare. That sounds like something you'd find on the floor of a strip club in Thailand after the strippers ran out of ping pong balls. And donkey sauce? Sauce that goes on food shouldn't make me think of Fear Factor.
Guy's restaurant sounds the kind of place where you'd pull a bleached hair out of your food and wonder if it came from the nutsack on top of his neck or the nutsack on his crotch. As temping as that sounds, I'll pass. I'll wait until Sandra Lee opens her own restaurant. It'll be a giant tablescape and the only thing she'll serve will be an economy-sized bottle of vodka and melted Otter Pops and Lemon Fresh Clorox for mixers.
• 
The recording technician is Monster series headset's prime model, the best characteristic of the receiver is dazzle cool look , black Beats By Dre mirrorlike shell technology is very dazzling, and low frequency is robust, like flooding came back, dynamic vary is wide. The recording technician Casque Beats conjointly with noise reduction devices within that may isolation outside noise through active noise reduction , that is extremely sensible. currently the worth of this sort of Beats By Dr Dre in hotsalesmart.com is simply $169, we have a tendency to advocate it to you WHO likes fierce dynamic pop for key reference. This kind of earphone is extremely perfection as carryon instrumentation with uncountable details, pure voice, the http://www.casquemonsterbeatsbydre.fr/ outstanding voices, shock of low frequency and is extremely straightforward to drive, , sound does not have obvious defect, makes ME terribly surprisied.
Demand for front-end isn't high, performance beneath X - Fi and D50, ufo and IPC area Casque Beats By Dre unit all superb, terribly straightforward to push, after all, its positioning is carry-on earphone. result of noise reduction is extremely sensible, I did not hear that my papa at my door outside sound knocked regarding till with the last strength in taken , then Iput Casque Beats Z5500 receptive standard,listening to music volume, then sporting your headsets listen , conjointly failed to hear the voice of Monster Beats Z5500. The B on the proper of the earpiece may be a button, can mute once ironed, and the same result like Beats By Dre PTH of shure, will amplify the voice close, the planning is extremely convenient. Besides this street lead high once sporting out, the looks is extremely fcucking , http://www.casquemonsterbeatsbydrefr.com/ particularly the monster line, red flaming, work is extremely sensible.
Women often wear high-heeled shoes, feet will be different degree hurt. For example, because the skin repeatedly by the extrusion and friction, skin tissue hyperplasia. Toe too pointed, toes will be oppressed, long-term such, easy cause foot blood circulation not smooth; Heel is too high, walk fast easily when they expect wrestling, feet, family love would not give up, then learn point foot care methods, reduce wear high-heeled shoes to physical damage.
Armani UK
Armani Watches UK
Emporio Armani UK
Armani Jackets
Armani Belts
Armani Hoodies
Armani Hoodies For Men
If you ask the males around friends, most of them will be like girls wearing a simple and high heels, and don't understand platform shoes for the significance of existing, female for yue oneself person look, so fast to choose your favorite that right.
Eluxury Louis Vuitton Bags
Eluxury Louis Vuitton
Louis Vuitton Eluxury
Louis Vuitton Bag Eluxury
Louis Vuitton Bags Mens
Louis Vuitton Wallets Mens
At the mention of women and amorous feelings, they will think of black hair and flame red lip, of fine fine jade refers to the enchanting figure and swaying with high; One can imagine sexy is not a simple dew can achieve, amorous feelings is itself a kind of temperament; In the high-heeled shoes of fish mouth shoes most have the temptation the attraction, the swaying with fine, contracted and strong all hold all live, how can you unprepared one!
Michael Kors Mexico
Michael Kors Bag Mexico
Michael Kors Bag
Michael Kors Sale
Cheap Michael Kors
Cheap Michael Kors Sale
Cheap Michael Kors Mexico
Michael Kors Wallets
Michael Kors Shoulder Bags
(Bergamot) essential oil,because of the essential oils contain Fu nan coumadin (Bergaptene) the photosensitive component,is caused extremely easily light allergic reaction.So even if organic,also cannot say must be one hundred percent of the safety maintain article,more can't guarantee on the skin is no stimulation
Louis Vuitton Singapore
LV Singapore
Louis Vuitton Handbags
Louis Vuitton Outlet
Louis Vuitton Mens Bags
Louis Vuitton Mens Belts
Louis Vuitton Mens Shoes
Louis Vuitton Mens Wallets
Louis Vuitton Womens Belts
Louis Vuitton Womens Handbags
Louis Vuitton Womens Scarvf
Louis Vuitton Womens Travel
Louis Vuitton Womens Wallets
General component protect skin to taste,the court will pack than ordinary passenger loading senior five times,have a lot of guests in nursing will specially to buy a whole suit,specialized to make himself to shop after nursing slowly use.For added chemical preservative products for,so no problem,convenient health,but just for one person.But for organic products for,have less packaging big court installed.
Anyone who chooses to eat in Times Square gets exactly what they deserve.
"Submitted by Cookie_Monster_ on Wed, 11/14/2012 - 7:02pm.
Hmm I'm sensing a theme here. He vocalizes being uncomfortable with gays and now he's being bashed for his restaurant? "
Or perhaps the food is just shit?
Donkey sauce? Really?
We went to Mario Batali's restaurant at the Venetian and it was ridiculous. Greasy, overpriced food you needed a microscope to eat.
The review was a masterpiece, and Guy should send the reviewer a bouquet of roses for all of the publicity it generated. Hadn't heard of the place or "donkey sauce"(nasty)until yesterday.
yeppy! I didn't know you were in the NYC area! Goddammit! And we have ESP, because I was just talking about making sushi (California rolls and maybe use some cooked fish) when I have a little extra in the budget for the special rice and seaweed. Eldest LOVES sushi, but I don't keep the ingredients around.
And I've just bought some tofu to make miso soup! That is pretty cheap to make, and healthy for you.
OT: If you are still having trouble at work, you have to just GTFO. If you can't find a permanent new job, try temping. Whatever your skill set, they have positions. Even if you're a lawyer or whatever.
They want me to go to work to tarrytown which is a 2 hour commutte I already got into bmcc (I know its crappy) have an interview for NYU got approved for student loans etc... So work is bye bye on jan and I will probably temp, and cash my 401k and pay at least 6 month rent up front I know its crazy
I make miso almost every week its so cheap and healthy
MK: Is Peter Wells your anon moniker?
or does this guy spend a lot of time on DListed?
Review: Hilarious. Now please review Bobby Flay's Burgers.
They suuuuuuuuck.
That review was vicious, but I'm not going to say I didn't enjoy it.
Sarah Smile
Hekki
I learned to make japanese food. Cause I'm so broke, so far I can make miso, and sushi rice I'm afraid of doing raw sushi cause the quality if the fish in my budget
I also learned to make chicken massala an indian dish. I pretty much learned different recipes I can also make the black cod from nubo
I'm lucky I been able to eat in very nice restuarants.
There is a five guys by my office and its always empty but I work by wall street so much better choices
To the people you think Paula Deens at Harrah's is great you sound know it is just Sysco food. They don't even season the food. It's just a high price choke and puke.
"And when we hear the words Donkey Sauce, which part of the donkey are we supposed to think about? "
I hate this guy's show and I'm glad his restaurant got a bad review. But it is comic gold!
Submitted by tonicbitch on Wed, 11/14/2012 - 5:00pm.
Every "celebrity" owned restaurant I've ever been to has been total shit. Are there any out there that are good?
*****************
I've been to Roast, by Michael Symon in Detroit. And it was delish!! The service was great too! Not cheap but still totally worth it. And you must love your meat, because there's nothing vegetarian in the menu!
yum
I think this is going to go the way of that model place from a few years ago and what happened to Justina Timberlake's restaurant? Did it fold?
CIJ, I live in California though. : (
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
I like to smile, smiling's my favorite! : )
The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
MJT -- I've been to Trattoria No. 10; good place. It's probably been at least 15 years, but great Italian food.
=======================================================
"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
@Crazyinjapan....Different strokes for different folks. I get the impression you were offended but I was not trying to insult you because I said I didn't like it. I got really sick afterwards and missed the next day of work. It just did not sit well with me.
This guy is such a DICK. I absoulutly cannot stand him or his stupid voice, his stupid show. he thinks he's cool, he's a turd.
--------------------------------------------------
"The stars shone. The gate creaked.The air was fresh."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxdiJ74AL5Y
Wanna see my tatto?
http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?
Hey hey Winter! Paula Deen's in Tunica is yummy. They've got a great staff for Southern food, if that's the kind of food you like. People drive hours to eat at that restaurant. I was talking to this Saudi Arabian woman today about Thanksgiving. She said, "Turkey and mashed potatoes. Gross, no?" And I was like, "Well, I like it, but I grew up eating it, so..."
I didn't say, "You people eat disgusting stuff like sheep brains." Which is what I was thinking, but I need this chick's $$$.
Crazyinjapan, o would love to g to Paula Deen's restaurant! P :
I think someone else mentioned trying her restaurant and liking it.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
I like to smile, smiling's my favorite! : )
The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
Sunds like the worst restaurant ever. And WTF with the "donkey sauce"?? Yuck.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
I like to smile, smiling's my favorite! : )
The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
Submitted by crazyinjapan on Wed, 11/14/2012 - 8:04pm.
Bet you haven't been to the one in Tunica! But... thanks for pointing that out.
------------------------------------------------
No, it was a buffet at a Harrah's. It was bad enough though that I'd be wary of trying another of her restaurants elsewhere.
His and Tyra Banks head..looks like something you would pick up at the check-out lane at spencers.
The really funny part of this is all of the coronary-inducing redneck places he visits on his show are probably healthier, classier and serving more tasty food than his "fine dining establishment".
Why didn't he just invest his Food Network ca$hmoney in opening up a Sonic Drive-In franchise and save himself a whole lot of public ridicule?
Anthony Bourdain kicks ass..plus he likes wine n cuss words.
LOVE! Truth! Absolute truth; I love Bourdain, too.
Submitted by saltydog on Wed, 11/14/2012 - 5:34pm.
Am I the ONLY one who watched the first season of Next Food Network Star and remembers him as somebody who seemed shy, sweet and humble? What has he become?
********************************************
Simply put, A DOUCHE.
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by tonicbitch on Wed, 11/14/2012 - 7:44pm.
Crazy I've been to one of Paula's, it was not good.
__________
Bet you haven't been to the one in Tunica! But... thanks for pointing that out.
Crazy I've been to one of Paula's, it was not good. Will have to add Dales to my list to try.
Sprout and Frog n Snail in Chicago, run by Top Chef runner-up Dale Levitski:
http://www.sproutrestaurant.com/
http://frognsnail.com/
Submitted by tonicbitch on Wed, 11/14/2012 - 5:00pm.
Every "celebrity" owned restaurant I've ever been to has been total shit. Are there any out there that are good?
_______________
I love Paula Deen's all you can eat buffet in Tunica, Mississippi.
Submitted by Cookie_Monster_ on Wed, 11/14/2012 - 7:02pm.
Hmm I'm sensing a theme here. He vocalizes being uncomfortable with gays and now he's being bashed for his restaurant?
_____________________
Yup. Funny how people don't like bigots. You know, kind of how people don't like you.
I fucking HATE this fucker. I hope he goes bankrupt.
Those of you have mentioned 5 guys, I totally agree. I refer to them as Dry Guys,Too high guys, whatever. Completely blah,dry and overpriced.
Submitted by tonicbitch on Wed, 11/14/2012 - 5:00pm.
Every "celebrity" owned restaurant I've ever been to has been total shit. Are there any out there that are good?
----
I really enjoyed Harold Dieterle's Perilla (he won the first season of Top Chef).
http://www.perillanyc.com/
----
SOMEONE SAID COCK, can we say COCK? I didn't know we could say COCK, and still be classy! AHAHAHAHAHAH - WithinReason
Anything Could Happen
Submitted by CokeyBloke on Wed, 11/14/2012 - 7:02pm.
_______
It did in Chicago as of 2 years ago. Just had to show ID when they delivered. I've since moved to the Bible belt, so that type of service is strictly verboten in this neck of the woods. Hell, some HEATHEN counties just this year passed laws allowing alcohol sales on Sundays. (Thank you sweet baby Jesus for that!)
Hmm I'm sensing a theme here. He vocalizes being uncomfortable with gays and now he's being bashed for his restaurant?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I hope your free abortions are worth it because your daughter, your daughter's daughter, and your daughter's daughter's daughter will be paying for them throughout the next couple of centuries. If America still exists.~ pf
If you're curious about food reviews, check out DC Cupcakes based off those two cupcake ninnies off of TLC. These latest FoodTV "chefs"....a good majority are proof that the only good thing about their food is the name and business behind it...not necessarily for the product. Its like that chef that goes on about how "fresh" the Cantina bowl is at freaking Taco Bell (is anyone else thinking she dramatizes the accent like Sophia Whatshername?). I miss the days of Mario Batali and Emeril :(
-----------------------------------------------
Also, when you end a statement with "Kim Kardashian is fabulous," all your previous points are INVALID, because obviously you have lost your damn mind." - MK
Submitted by JTROS on Wed, 11/14/2012 - 6:52pm.
Submitted by CokeyBloke on Wed, 11/14/2012 - 6:46pm.
_________
I fuckin' miss Peapod. :( I used that all the time in Chicago. Esp. in winter -- or if I had to stock up on liquor and other essentials. "Why, yes, a single gal like me DOES need 5 bottles of wine, 3 six-packs of beer, 24 rolls of TP and a gallon of laundry detergent. Don't judge me, Mr. Peapod ************************delivery guy.
First, judge? Never, are you kidding? But here's my question? where does Peapod deliver wine?????
"Submitted by elmo533 on Wed, 11/14/2012 - 5:47pm.
Food Network is a joke. They have all these "cooks" on now, and they don't have the slightest idea what they're doing (Guy, Rachel, Sandra, and Pioneer Woman--yes that's her name),"
-----------------------------------------------
Okay I have to defend Ree Drummond (aka Pioneer Woman). I've been following her blog for years and have one of her cookbooks. Her recipes are awesome.
Submitted by CokeyBloke on Wed, 11/14/2012 - 6:46pm.
_________
I fuckin' miss Peapod. :( I used that all the time in Chicago. Esp. in winter -- or if I had to stock up on liquor and other essentials. "Why, yes, a single gal like me DOES need 5 bottles of wine, 3 six-packs of beer, 24 rolls of TP and a gallon of laundry detergent. Don't judge me, Mr. Peapod delivery guy."
I hate that fucker.
The Food Network is more about personalities than food (which is why I despise it).
MissJaneTexas, I lived in Chicago until recently. I just moved a few months ago. Didn't get to try that restaurant while I was there though. There is a lot of stuff there that I miss :(
Submitted by CashewTime on Wed, 11/14/2012 - 6:38pm.
Submitted by CokeyBloke on Wed, 11/14/2012 - 5:38pm.
Lol @ the Key and Peele. I don't bother to pretend. I think the hung over or just got dumped looks work for me-just get extrafrowny at the door, and be sure to have your bathrobe on and mess up your hair a little. The delivery ppl understand,.and sometimes they're envious of your lazy ass. The drive through ppl are not as nice though.
******************************
Cashew, I like your positivity! I HATE delivery men coming over -- I feel so exposed. argh!
Just this a.m. Peapod came and I was sure my apartment wasn't clean enough to "receive" people that I apologized and gave him the most ridiculous tip ever.
And I a
Submitted by Gobbler on Wed, 11/14/2012 - 6:20pm.
He looks like his breath would smell like rotten teeth and tonsil stones.
___________
I know that smell & now I'm gagging :(
So. Nasty.
Submitted by CokeyBloke on Wed, 11/14/2012 - 6:37pm.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 11/14/2012 - 6:04pm.
Cokeywhore - thank you for educating me... I read the plot summary in wiki, sounds like a good flick... lmao at failed gigolo. SOUNDS LIKE MY FUCKING LIFE RIGHT THERE!!
**************
@ JACK IN MY CRACK
------------------
Must I correct EVERYTHING for you...
----------------------------------------------
"Shitty relationships mystify me." ~ mike 09/22/2012
"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by Event Horizon on Wed, 11/14/2012 - 6:25pm.
"If Ed Hardy fucked a Juggalo, the product would be Guy Fieri"
**********************************
Christ above. Did you come up with that? Shut everything else down.
Submitted by CokeyBloke on Wed, 11/14/2012 - 5:38pm.
Lol @ the Key and Peele. I don't bother to pretend. I think the hung over or just got dumped looks work for me-just get extrafrowny at the door, and be sure to have your bathrobe on and mess up your hair a little. The delivery ppl understand,.and sometimes they're envious of your lazy ass. The drive through ppl are not as nice though.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 11/14/2012 - 6:04pm.
Cokeywhore - thank you for educating me... I read the plot summary in wiki, sounds like a good flick... lmao at failed gigolo. SOUNDS LIKE MY FUCKING LIFE RIGHT THERE!!
**************
@ JACK ON MY BACK;
big smooch! mwwwaaahhhhhhh