Where Are Her Feets?!
Jessica Simpson somehow found the strength to pull herself out of the fetal position she curled into the second she found out Hostess was dead (or not) and she put on an oh-so-brave face to sign autographs with her sister Ashlee Simpson at an event for her shoe collection at Dillard's in Tampa, FL on Saturday afternoon. UsWeekly says that Jessica has lost around 60 pounds of chunk ever since Weight Watchers waved a multi-million dollar check at her face and I'm guessing that about 5 of those pounds were lost after she cut her feet off! Bitch, your jeans ate your toes.
I know some shorties wear shoe-covering boot cut jeans to make themselves look taller, but I don't get how not having VF (visible feets) makes a ho look taller. It just makes Jessica Simpson look she's got toe-less hooves. I feel like she should be shaking a plastic tub full of coins while singing, "I have no feets."
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She definitely looks thinner. I think anyone over 18 who wears pants long enough to step on looks like an idiot.
@ TOPANGA I got out of B&N a couple weeks ago. It was actually fun but not fun enough for $8 an hour. I can only imagine what working retail at Dillards would be like. Hope that they paid you more than $8 an hour!
Lap-Band or Gastric Bypass?
you know why jessica got so big in the first place?
she bought and ate fried chicken and chili from the money she made from all those folks that bought her shoes and purses...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
She will always look fat unt she gets a boob reduction and cuts her hair/ takes off those gross extensions. She's too short to carry all that nonsense. Sally Struthers indeed.
Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Mon, 11/19/2012 - 7:27pm.
She's turning into Sally Struthers.
I came here to say the exact same thing!
I like Jessica, but hate pants that cover your shoes...doesn't make sense to me!!
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We'll have to agree to disagree PSL - I don't see anything except elephant legs when I see boot cut/flared jeans, whether shoes show or not.
Makes your calves look the same size as your thighs. Not sure how that can ever flatter.
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"I've got a strong stomach and no standards to speak of" - MK 2/5/11
I feel bad for Bronx Mowgli. Look who his parents are. Ouch.
And Jessica needs to stop frying her hair, it looks like shit.
As a shortie, I can tell you I do not wear long jeans to make myself look taller. NOTHING will make me look taller. I just don't have the time or money to shorten my jeans. I'm reconsidering that now seeing this mess.
Who takes time to shorten their jeans? Nobody.
She's down to 5 chins already!!
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Tue, 11/20/2012 - 1:37am.
She is really starting to resemble Brit Brit (fifth to last thumb). She used to be cute, in a Texas bombshell kinda way, but now she just looks plastic.
Anna Nicole, right?
She is really starting to resemble Brit Brit (fifth to last thumb). She used to be cute, in a Texas bombshell kinda way, but now she just looks plastic.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
jessica has lost all sex appeal
Filthy Bitch, i disagree. I think boot cut jeans are very flattering....when people allow their feet to be shown.
She tries to give the illusion of a longer leg, but she just looks stupid.
And I think her face is still fatter, she could still lose another 15 an not be too skinny.
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You don't kiss when you kiss. You don't fuck when you fuck. You don't say what you mean. You don't talk loud enough.
-Fiona Apple
She looks good.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Her feet are under the elephant legged pants.
One of the many reasons I hate boot-cut, flared, and every other name of the moment jeans. They do NOT flatter anyone and make you look heavier than you are.
As far as the rest of her...
I think her stylist is from the same school Demi Lovato's stylist is from.
Overweight automatically means short, tight jacket, long baggy shirt, and whatever on the bottom.
And girlfriend needs a better hair stylist.
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"I've got a strong stomach and no standards to speak of" - MK 2/5/11
Everything about that outfit and pose indicates she has not lost the weight. The arms trying to pull the pink jacket closed, the top that is not form-fitting, and the too long jeans to make the legs look longer and maybe leaner.
Bitch has NOT lost 60 pounds, or she'd be a lot thinner. She lost maybe 20 pounds. I'll bet the folks at Weight Watchers are PISSED at her! If she was as close to skinny as she says she is, she'd be dressing to show it off.
She should ask her sister for weight loss tips, i.e. eating nothing*. Well, it works! One eating disorder, coming up!
*ETA: And meth. Meth helps too.
My bet is she got it sucked out. She went somewhere and had her fat begone.
I think she had some sort of surgery, too. Last time we saw home fry she was getting out of the car looking huge at some gym . Then she disappears for a bit and comes back looking a lot smaller.
Submitted by CashewTime on Mon, 11/19/2012 - 9:07pm.
Topanga,
I'm working black Friday for the first time this year, fml! ditto on the loans :/
*****
I am working 2-9:30 on Friday and I'm in Canada....but oh yes we are doing Black Friday too. My store opens at 7am. I am NOT excited at all to deal with all the fucking knob maniacs looking to save a few $$
I saw one of her handbags in a store once, thought it looked great, and once I got closer and saw her name on it I refused to give it any further consideration. I would never buy crap with her stupid metal signature stuck onto it.
They both need to find new stylists too, Jessica looks like a fucking hillbilly and Asslee is almost as "emo" as Avril Lavigne.
@boomsy my best girlfriend is her size, big boobs, kinda square face like that, she was chubby like Jess and she lost 40 lbs and is so thin now. No way did J-Simp lose 60.
"Never trust a bitch who doesn't use her purse straps." MK
Her shoe collection is cute, and I bought a pair of super cute undies from TJ Maxx with her name on it. I felt stupid, but they were cute. She has good taste for some things. I've never seen anything tacky among her products. As for her, she seems sweet, thought this WW stuff is fucking annoying.
Whoa. Ashley has total methface. I have a feeling things aren't going to end well with Ashley. She's admitted to anorexia in the past, and it's pretty obvious she has a drug problem now. I bet in a couple years TMZ will break the news that she was found dead in her apartment and she'll have been there a week before anyone finds her.
I hate to criticize her, since I am a bit heffa-licious myself at the moment. However, the "no-shoes" look is weird....especially for a shoe event. You think she would have been ROCKIN those heels that are part of her line. The shoes really are not bad. Besides, the heels would have made her look taller. Strange?!
Horrible. They're like little pony hooves. Chestica, this is NOT the look to launch a shoe collection!
Teeheehee, MK teasing on the shorties! lol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Sooooooo, she shows up to her SHOE PROMOTION event...WITHOUT FEET?!?!?!
Britney looks ten times better than Jess & she's had 2 babehs.
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"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."
@sillykat: I thought she was still looking pretty full in the face myself, especially if she's lost as much as she says she has. Being childless I can't really weigh in on how pregnancy affects the face, but IDK about this one...
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Topanga,
I'm working black Friday for the first time this year, fml! ditto on the loans :/
and Jess is looking very Anna Nicole Smith in the face, and that's not an insult because ANS had a GORGEGOUS face but Jess never looked like ANS before...Hmmmm...
It's like Jess is morphing into ANS and Ashlee (I loathe the spelling of that name) has morphed into her meth faced toothless cousin. What was her name? Asslee is a dead ringer for her. WHERE'S SUGAR PIE????
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I am no fan of Jessucka, but I wouldn't call her fat. At all. She looks normal.
Howevah. Both girls need to stop with the hair bleaching. Asslee especially.
Hell to the no did this tubby bitch lose 60 pounds. Look at her neck! And the shots from far away, she's still rockin some big ole thighs. Don't get me wrong, I have no prob with a little extra, but don't be up in my face about losing 60 goddamn pounds.
"Never trust a bitch who doesn't use her purse straps." MK
I think Jessica is wearing baggier things because WW wants to do a big reveal in a commercial, not just casually while she's out and about.
Ashlee's old nose is growing back and she's rocking a tiny, tiny, tiny bit of meth face. Not.The.Look.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
@ Can be a pushy broad, you are correct. I didn't find this out until after I started working there. The online reviews from past employees are horriblele. I've worked retail for years, but Dillard's by far was literally HELL. Ironically I have a Bachelors Degree, but no real job to show for it, my student loans aren't going to pay themselves.
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"I was half a virgin when I met him!"
-Mean Girl,Regina George
Tampa, FL and Asslee's wearing the dreaded beanie hat and acting like it's cold out? Bish please...and she's looking a little hard in the face lately. Good for Jess, no matter how she got it off - she should have belted in that blazer and top or worn something to show that she has a waist. She still looks preggo from the side.
Lindsay Lohan's costar's nalgas flew her so close to the sun that they both exploded into stardust that still lights up Hollywood.
Jess is going to put a hit out on that photographer. It's just plain MEAN to photograph someone from that angle to play up their chin situation.
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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012
Submitted by TOPANGA on Mon, 11/19/2012 - 7:33pm.
One of the major business mags said Dillards was the 2nd worse place to work in USA.
Another celebrity whoring out their shitty product.
What does Jessica do now, Is she a singer,shitty actress, model, poser or just plain Fame Whore.
Bitch needs to go away, her time has passed.
wth happened to these two??
jess looks like a 45 year old pta mom and ash looks like a 40 yr old truck stop hooker.
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
Perhaps Ashlee was instructed to look her worst (so that Jessica would look all the better)?
Jessica IS the family's undisputed cash cow.
Submitted by Kizzy on Mon, 11/19/2012 - 7:52pm.
WTF kind of drugs is Asslee on? Cuz I don't want to do them.
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meth and blowjobs.
WTF kind of drugs is Asslee on? Cuz I don't want to do them.
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"I am not doing your fucking maneuvers."-Croc
"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.K "We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard ♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
"Jessica when are we wrapping up?" - Ashlee
"Why?" - Jessica
"Cuz I got a gig at a 7-eleven parking lot in 10 minutes" - Ashlee
"Omg you guys im so still totes emo" - Ashlee Simpson
Holy hell, I can't get over Asslee's face. Yikes.