Wednesday, December 12th 2012

Drew Barrymore's Baby Makes Her Magazine Cover Debut

Thank our current reigning God, Bea Arthur, that the celebrity trend of debuting their baby's face on InstaWitter, FaceGram or TwitBook FOR FREE is temporarily over and celebrities are back to showing off their baby on the cover of a weekly magazine. Drew Barrymore waited 9 weeks until she put her daughter Olive in front of People's cameras, because that's usually when a newborn baby doesn't look like an adorable bag of wet yams anymore. Drew also talked to People and said stuff about being a mom for the first time:

On how being a new mom made her so nervous that she went on the Anne Hathaway Oscar diet for two weeks: "I couldn't eat or sleep for two weeks, I was just so nervous!"

On how she's obsessed with her baby and is pretty much stalking her: "It's like the biggest crush I've ever had in my life!"

On how raising a baby is a helluva drug: "You have the highest highs and yet you're facing the biggest fear of, 'How do I keep someone alive?'"

Drew Barrymore brings up a seriously good point that I've never thought about. I'm afraid of having chirruns, because most of them are greedy, shifty and it's all about them. I mean, some nights you just want to be left alone with your bottle of vodka and they're crying for food, love and human attention and all that. But I never thought about it the way Drew thinks about it. You have to keep them alive too! Babies are like a real-life Tamagotchi. You have to give them food and attention AND you have to keep them alive. Raising a baby IS hard.

Posted by: Michael K


Drew seems line a nice enough girl, but her answers reveal she has scant involvement in the grunt work required by newborns.

Sarah Smile

Chris Ecclestons Concubine's picture

Submitted by johnnysgirl on Wed, 12/12/2012 - 9:10pm.
Submitted by Chris Eccleston... on Wed, 12/12/2012 - 4:35pm.

HAHA, yes - I read that Cracked article too. Jeepers.

My sister says that her anus telescoped out about 4 or so inches when she was birthin'. Like a chinese yoyo.

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Fuck me! I hope that every time the kid's father bitches about his stubbed toe or headache or cold, she slaps him upside the head and reminds him of what he did to her anus.

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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.

bookworm's picture

LOVE babies. Can't help it. Those little buggers are cute. However, I've never had any as they grow up. Babies are adorable, snotty teenagers are not!

johnnysgirl's picture

Submitted by Chris Eccleston... on Wed, 12/12/2012 - 4:35pm.

Cracked.com?

They're the reason I'll never have kids. Read http://www.cracked.com/article_16508_6-terrifying-things-they-dont-tell-...

#4 clinched it for me. I shit in front of no-one (for free).
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HAHA, yes - I read that Cracked article too. Jeepers.

My sister says that her anus telescoped out about 4 or so inches when she was birthin'. Like a chinese yoyo.

No kids for me, thanks, but I sure do love my NephBubb. Being an auntie is the shiz :D

Bizzarelife's picture

Yes, the pooping thing so elegantly laid out in the cracked.com article is something I knew about a long time ago. My sister, the graceful and amazing lady that she is, told me all about her epic dumps on the operating table. It's apparently something that just happens. Let's face it - we all do it. Whatever.

I have had surgery - UGLY surgery and horrific procedures - and I really do not think anyone cares. So much blood, equipment, and other savory items are flying around hospital operating rooms. No one cares...it's too frenetic.

I often wonder myself if kids are worth it. I just do not know. I find myself bitching if I have to clean out my cats' litter boxes. What the hell would I do with a kid?

boredasfuckyo's picture

Someone show Drew Barrymore this article
http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-ways-nature-brainwashes-you-into-taking-ca...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."

Happy for Drew. I think she's wanted this for a while. And to all who said she's got her shiz together way before Miss B and LL, total agreement. I think Drew is probably a decent person.

CashewTime.'s picture

Chris E,

That link lol! Yeah no babies for me either.
_______________________________________________
"I don't think anything can separate anything that's super-connected. "
-LeAnn Rimes

Mabel Hodges's picture

Oh, geez! I, too was thuper-ecthited when I was seven years old and thought that I WAS THE ONE WHO invented scrambled eggs with cheese! What's concept! So original!

Yawn.

And for the record, MK, it ain't just babies who are shifty and greedy and it's all about them. Anyone else here with teteenagers?

Love,
Mabel

She is a horrible actress but I am happy for her.

mefunigirl's picture

Submitted by Versailles on Wed, 12/12/2012 - 3:21pm.
When my oldest daughter turned 18, I gave myself and hubby a pat on the back for being able to keep her alive and not getting a visit from the CPS.

Our youngest is turning one in January, so still 17 years to go.

Joke aside, it really is a huge responsibility having children, but the joys far outnumbers that.
...........

ha! My last one turns 18 in 2 years.
It's seriously a countdown for us.

I was an older mom when I started, and I agree, it's an unfathomable amount of work and responsibility, but I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat.
There are no words to describe what I feel when I hear their laughter. Especially if they happen to be pointing at their dad while doing so.

It seems like Drew is going to be a loving mom, so I can't hate on a baby/child being loved like that.

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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz

LisaRose's picture

I've been waiting for this!! Been a Drew fan for years and years so I feel like an aunty!

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www.dungeonhordes.com

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saltydog's picture

Olive is legit one of the only celeb babies I will ever care about. She is the next generation in one of the oldest acting families and I've always respected Drew for growing the fuck up and getting over her issues and becoming a respnsible adult and successfull business woman. She started boozing and drugging way younger than Lohan or Britney but they're older now than Drew was when she took control of her life, so they have no excuses.

Chris Ecclestons Concubine's picture

Submitted by girlfromipanema on Wed, 12/12/2012 - 4:49pm.

Werd. With all the shit we have to put up with during the pregnancy, the actual birth, and then raising the ungrateful little shits until they're 18 only to have them blame you for everything wrong in their lives until they're 35 and begging to live at home rent-free, children are not worth it.

I'd rather have a cat. At least they know how to clean themselves.

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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.

Brown-EyedGirl's picture

Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Wed, 12/12/2012 - 2:24pm.
my hat's off to any of you who birth these little midgets.

Never had any maternal instincts to speak of - not that I hate kids but I prefer furry babies ;)

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You prefer furry babies? Are you a Kardashian?

Anonymous101's picture

I like Drew too. She actually owned her sh!t and worked hard to get better which is much more than anyone can say for Blohan. Good luck with mommyhood, Drew :)

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Kitten Kaboodle - a Disney ho who did the ho stroll right ;)

Check out mah page, horz! ;)
https://www.facebook.com/OrderOfTheDimensions

girlfromipanema's picture

Submitted by Chris Eccleston... on Wed, 12/12/2012 - 4:35pm.

Yep.

There are a lot of things about childbirth I'd rather avoid, such as the entire process all together. Still not sure on kids of my own. I have a great little stepchild and love kids.. but boy are they expensive, a lot of work, and usually involve that whole pregnancy and childbirth thing. Plus, my chichis will be out of sex play commission until the babeh stops feeding from them. Ugh. I've got a few years before I'd even consider one, so we'll see...

snowpiece's picture

also you guys realize she SOLD these pics to People, if it was a Kardashian you'd all be shitting yourselves

;P

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Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 09/19/2012 - 10:19am.
Bitch, you are not better then Keanu Reeves!

snowpiece's picture

Submitted by Anima on Wed, 12/12/2012 - 4:34pm

like everything that comes out of her lissssssspthy mouth does

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Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 09/19/2012 - 10:19am.
Bitch, you are not better then Keanu Reeves!

Chris Ecclestons Concubine's picture

Submitted by girlfromipanema on Wed, 12/12/2012 - 4:31pm.

Cracked.com?

They're the reason I'll never have kids. Read http://www.cracked.com/article_16508_6-terrifying-things-they-dont-tell-...

#4 clinched it for me. I shit in front of no-one (for free).

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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.

Anima's picture

Her thoughts on motherhood sound like something a 15 year old high-school drop-out would say.

girlfromipanema's picture

I read an article today (4 Ways Nature Brainwashes You into Taking Care of Babies) and found out that new moms get high from having contact with their babies.. Oxytocin is released by just looking at the baby's eyes (if you're the biological mother). So, I really can't hate on Drew craving that high! I've been craving a fat joint for days now. Well played babies, well played.

Why such hate for all celebrity moms? Not everyone has a nanny (and even if they do, who cares?). Every new parent is scared and uncertain. Just because they are experiencing it for the first time doesn't mean they think they're the first to do it. They just get a fat check to talk about it.

Raising a baby is hard, when you don't have private nannies, maids, chefs and various other people at your beck and call.......

Seriously these celebrity Mothers and their whiny asses, going on and on, how raising kids is such hard work. Bitch please, your life hasn't really changed that much, just throw the kid at one of the nannies you employ..and go about your business as usual. Do you really believe these people actually change a diaper? Sit up at night, losing sleep? WTF do those paid nannies do?

luvsmekitty's picture

Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 12/12/2012 - 3:42pm.
___________________________

WTF, Snowpiece?! Bunch of bitches!

Dear Drew,

If you aren't completely exhausted and frustrated every day of your life for the first 10 years after having a child, then you either are doing something wrong, or have a heard of nannies doing it for you. I won't even go into what happens between the ages of 11-18.

cprincess's picture

I cant hate on Drew Barrymore...she always seems to be quite a genuinely happy person and not a fucking bitch- albiet clearly insane...
Actually I bet baby is pretty cute although probably the first words out of baby Olives mouth will be - "mom can you shut the fuck up"....

"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"

snowpiece's picture

luvsmekitty! OMG, a bitch co worker said the SAME thing to me in the elevator the other day "why is your hair light at the bottom and dark on the top? what are you doing there!?!?!' and then tried to touch it!!!!! I told her "that's what happens to white people's hair" and shot her the "DO NOT THINK OF TOUCHING MY HAIR" glare!

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Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 09/19/2012 - 10:19am.
Bitch, you are not better then Keanu Reeves!

agirl's picture

Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't people have babies all over the world, every single day and have for many thousands and thousands of years?

But each celebrity to push out a young'un thinks she is the very first... and therefore special and deserving of attention and praise.

Versailles's picture

When my oldest daughter turned 18, I gave myself and hubby a pat on the back for being able to keep her alive and not getting a visit from the CPS.

Our youngest is turning one in January, so still 17 years to go.

Joke aside, it really is a huge responsibility having children, but the joys far outnumbers that.

SANS FARDS's picture

Cute babeh. I like Drew, so congrats.

and YAYYYY for Danny and Rhea (possibly?) getting back together. Make it happen!

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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.

"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."

Ophelias evil twin's picture

Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 12/12/2012 - 2:49pm.
looking like her grandfather in profile,

she's rockin' an American Dad/Leno chin-ee chin chin there too..

I saw her the other night in an old movie with Diane Chambers and Ryan O'Neil as her parents that she divorces because they are the worst hollywood parents. Somebody should have sent that movie to Hohan a long time ago.

flossyb's picture

Drew Barrymore was the voice of Olive the Other Reindeer

luvsmekitty's picture

Kathy Lee reminds me of my aunt, whose last sweetly-said-crappy-comment to me was that she loved that my hair was "winter on top and summer on bottom!!"

YEAH - I need to get my highlights done, sue me!

Anyway, yay, a baby.

HereForTheRide's picture

Raising a baby IS hard. But it gets worse as they get older.

When they're babies, you can make them happy by changing their diaper or sticking some food in their mouth or making a funny face.

When they get bigger, it's so much harder. There are bullies and homework and kids who have better toys.

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THIS^^

Then they turn into teenagers with smart mouths.

Dawn Davenport's picture

I can't help but admire Drew, she was born into a Lohan-like family and got caught up in insanity and addiction at a young age. She was able to dig her way out, and have a nice if unspectacular career. She's kinda kooky, but also seems down-to-earth and aware of the pitfalls of raising kids in Hollyweird. I think she'll be a good mom.

Mel-Tang's picture

I normally love Drew, but the whole 'new mommy fantasy' is nauseating.

Sure, there is a joy (for many) that is unlike anything else, but let's be real and say for many others, it's a painful and very hormonal time. Especially when you don't have millions of dollars, chefs, private nurses, maids, and nannies.

* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *

www.poopreport.com :)

<3-------------------------------<3

RIMADYL KILLS

M.E.'s picture

Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Wed, 12/12/2012 - 2:20pm.

Couldn't sleep or eat? Fuck, ALL I WANTED TO DO was sleep and eat after I had a baby and that little shit wanted to CRY and eat and poop and spit-up.
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RIGHT!?!?

Doll-Parts's picture

She is also Frances Bean Cobain's godmother.... I wonder how intact that relationship is.

"This world is a whore."

cocoebert's picture

No shade for her. I like Drew. She came through a crappy upbringing to be stable and successful as an actor and producer, with a reputation for being a non-diva. And the babeh is cute.

M.E.'s picture

Sorry, maybe I'm just not THAT amazed by the birth of a child, but starving yourself, and wondering how to keep it alive are not a new mothers first thoughts/actions. Unless you are suffering from PPD most things come naturally to a new mother.

snowpiece's picture

looking like her grandfather in profile, and that's not a good thing!

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Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 09/19/2012 - 10:19am.
Bitch, you are not better then Keanu Reeves!

Thamar's picture

This. I could scream memories of keeping your kids tamagotchi alive.

can be a pushy broad's picture

I'll have to admit, I was a little scared about keeping Pushy kid alive but she was a preemie and came home with an eye dropper for a bottle
and well, I was pretty ignorant about babies.

CashewTime.'s picture

why is Drew doing a mag cover like this? Did she really need the press? I know she doesn't need the money. Kinda lame, if you ask me.
_______________________________________________
"I don't think anything can separate anything that's super-connected. "
-LeAnn Rimes

TexnDoc's picture

What an odd thing to say, especially when there have been celebrity parents like Eric Clapton who have lost their babies falling out of 50 story windows. Never liked her, spoiled and selfish. Lets hope Olive doesn't precede you in death, bad mother.

Jintess's picture

I'll have your chirrun MK, but we would have to do it naturally ifyouknowwhatimean (wink)

Heh, I'm happy for Drew. She seems like good people. She's gone through a bunch of stuff in her life (even worse,in public) but seems to have just gotten stronger for it.

Doll-Parts's picture

LOL "Real Life Tamagotchi!"

I used to have a human Tamagotchi naned Riku Chan. I couldn't read his lessons, so he never went to school. He grew up to be behind bars. I want kids to rediscover the Tamagotchi.

"This world is a whore."

QueenVelveeta's picture

Shifty...that's funny!!!!!

turnelbup's picture

Does she let the precious crotch fruit anywhere near gramma Jaid Barrymore?

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"When in doubt, freak 'em out" -- Sharon Needles