Open Post: Hosted By Ladies Falling In The Subway
The UK Network Rail Service released three clips of ladies falling on their asses (and other body parts) in the subway and it's supposed to be a PSA for the dangers of walking in the subway or whatever, but it's really just a video for us to laugh at. Yes, I laughed at everyone breaking their asses, but I did learn three very important tips:
1. Lying down on the escalator is so much better than standing up on the escalator. I stand an average of 12 minutes per day and I can get that average down by lying on the escalator every time I take one. Standing up is hard and lying down is fun. Besides, when I get to the end, a hot piece might help me up.
2. Running is dangerous. Just don't run, ever. If you think standing up sucks, running is even worse. That woman fell while running. Just lie down as much as you can. You can't fall down while lying down. (Cut to me later tonight when I break my ass bone after rolling off the bed during sleep times.)
3. If you're going to drunkenly work a subway platform pole in heels, make sure you're wearing a cute outfit while doing so, because you will fall and on the footage will end up on the Internet and thousands of people will laugh at your ass. So you might as well look hot while they're laughing at your ass.
See, that mess of a PSA isn't only funny, it's educational too.
via Jezebel
• 
why the fuck does she insist on wearing furs? It makes her look even more old and haggard. Such an odd choice for someone trying to get roles as a young actress. The perfect research paper writing services attire for a young girl trying to get work as an escort though.
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Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Fri, 12/14/2012 - 1:21am.
Do you eat first? I always hear about how breakfast is good for you, but I prefer to eat once a day in late afternoon to evening
Nope - if I have breakfast it is strictly after exercise. Like you, I eat one meal a day, and it is in the evening. Even when I used to be strict about eating breakfast, to be honest, I didn't notice any positive difference from it. It must depend on the individual's lifestyle.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Fri, 12/14/2012 - 1:16am.
Do you eat first? I always hear about how breakfast is good for you, but I prefer to eat once a day in late afternoon to evening
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 11:49pm.
I've tried to work out in the morning but my body refuses to cooperate that early
It's a right pain in the ass, but working out first thing burns more fat and keeps the metabolism and energy up for the whole day. I have to force myself; and as I do Yoga mostly (especially now that it's frosty outside and I cannot run or skip on ice) flexibility is problematic in the first hour after waking. I've forgotten the point of this post.
BaconSlut if you are around I am so very sorry about your Dad. I will keep you both in my thoughts. Stay strong xoxo
4:15AM!!! If I get to the gym before noon I consider that early. You are hardcore.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 11:49pm.
That was Dog. I'm my own trainer. :)
Night Mike, was it you that's training in the morning, perhaps I've got my comments mixed up in that string. Anyway someone is cra cra training that early, I've tried to work out in the morning but my body refuses to cooperate that early, I found I just couldn't do what I wanted until my body woke up.
That first stupid bitch actually fell UP the stairs. Dipshits galore!
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 11:24pm.
Whamo, as tempting as that is,
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Ah that's ok, I think The Saga of Walter is more of a Saturday night thing anyway :)
You're going to work out at 4:15 in the morning, are you insane!?
Adios, ladies!
I get to sleep in again tomorrow (til 6, yeah, that is sleeping in at our house), but i m out. Ya ll have a good night!
ubmitted by mike on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 11:25pm.
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 11:24pm.
???
To look for meteors?
^^^^
New trainer. I haz a 4:15am with her.
*cries*
G'night!
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Submitted by mike on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 11:22pm.
In many things, I like the uncertain.
^^^^
Well, not being sure which hanky to use isn't the same thing.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 11:24pm.
???
To look for meteors?
Whamo, as tempting as that is, I must decline as I am getting up tomorrow at 3:30. So I'm off to bed. Perhaps once Mike combs the bacon out of his mustache, he'll continue Walter's saga.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 11:18pm.
Ohhhh, okay. I'm kind of the opposite. In many things, I like the uncertain.
Evening, Whamo.
Submitted by mike on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 11:16pm.
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 11:11pm.
I thought you weren't into serial killers and unsolved killings?!?
^^^^
Me? Good heavens! I love true crime but unsolveds drive me nuts because I prefer closure.
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www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Dogalogadingdong...that's all I got right now.
Yes it seems quite on the D.
We need some good Goat talk, Saggy Ball talk or Saggy Goat Ball talk:)
Once upon a time in the year 1785 there lived a old goat named Walter, he was the scorn of the goat village because he had great big goat balls that barely touched the ground. Walter was a known sheep toucher and none of the other goats would graze with him because he would say things like "hey, I'll let your eat my patch if you touch my saggy goat balls" and "I"m so horny I'd fuck a horse"
..Feel free to add to the story of Walter if you'd like...
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 11:11pm.
I thought you weren't into serial killers and unsolved killings?!?
Hola, Mike! I just watched a documentary on Ted Bundy. SMDH.
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www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 10:30pm.
Submitted by mike on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 7:16pm.
This just hasn't been my day. I was jogging on my lunch hour (i prefer doing it in the early morning, but I'm a wuss when it comes to cold), got distracted by a car full of girls, tripped and skinned the shit out of my knee. Then, on my way home my mom called me just to check in. I make the mistake of asking in passing if they've ever thought about looking into a high-end, minimal assisted-living facility. She lectured me like I haven't been lectured since I was a teenager. Adding to all that, a bunch of people are sick at my office, so i've had to pick up the slack. :(
^^^^
I guess no one told you about the giant booger caught in your new 'stache.
I was wondering why everything was tasting slightly salty...
Dog!
Or not.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
No one posts for an hour, I post, and then all the freaks come to the yard!
Whameatloaf!!
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www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
That's awful UBF! What's wrong with people!! Motherfuckers need to be found and shot...no jail - extermination.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
GG, we had 9 bombthreats in the last week in our schooldistrict. Every time they had to evacuate schools. Now they closed the whole district down for three days during investigation (they have the FBI involved now) and adding security procedures. And the kids wont have Springbreak due to lost days. At least I dont have to find a sitter for Springbreak lol
Submitted by mike on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 7:16pm.
This just hasn't been my day. I was jogging on my lunch hour (i prefer doing it in the early morning, but I'm a wuss when it comes to cold), got distracted by a car full of girls, tripped and skinned the shit out of my knee. Then, on my way home my mom called me just to check in. I make the mistake of asking in passing if they've ever thought about looking into a high-end, minimal assisted-living facility. She lectured me like I haven't been lectured since I was a teenager. Adding to all that, a bunch of people are sick at my office, so i've had to pick up the slack. :(
^^^^
I guess no one told you about the giant booger caught in your new 'stache.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 8:48pm.
I already had a touch of it earlier in the week, so there!
That bomb scare mess is crazy.
UBF, bomb threats??? *blinks*
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by EastEndGirl on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 6:13pm.
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Hey there stranger! How've you jelly bean? You've been busy lately or have I just missed when you've been around? You were going to move to AB weren't you?
Submitted by IrishFury on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 6:16pm.
I am burned out from tennis
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Ya Ms Fury sometimes you need to take a break,step away to both give your body break as well as your mind. I use to played hockey (little pickup league) and for three years I played 3 days a week in the winter and fall and 2 times a week spring and summer. We had the ice for an hour and a half. A few times I just had to take two weeks off because as you say you just burn out and it becomes kind of a chore rather than the fun game you look forward to playing. I think you will find a new focus and you'll play a lot better when you get back at it:)
*coughs on mike*. There ya go, buddy, got a few sickdays coming your way.....Thank me later!
The kids have been home again today because of the bomb-threats, probably eaten nothing but JUNK while my husband watched them.
The first lady in the video is my favorite. She HAD to be hammered.
BaconSlut - so sorry about your dad. I remember you saying he had fallen. I've been through this too, as I guess we all will at some point, and there is no easy path for you. Take care of yourself too...
Mike I lol'd about you tripping because of a car full of girls. Sorry about about the rest of your day though.
I think Kim K's fat ass finally broke Dlisted, homepage looks all fucked up.
Sorry to hear about your day, Mike.
Here's Lena Dunham's book proposal, as seen through Gawker:
http://gawker.com/5966563/here-is-lena-dunhams-37-million-book-proposal
I don't like her. This made me laugh.
ETA: Is this a new "thing"? Being all twee and giggly and girlish?
I tried reading "Let's Pretend This Didn't Happen", by Jenny Lawson, who writes at The Bloggess. I honestly wanted to strangle her with her own intestines. It seemed to be 300+ pages of giggling and twirling her hair and taking great joy out of being incapable of acting like an adult. She. Never. Broke. Character. I ended up deeply pitying her husband and daughter.
This just hasn't been my day. I was jogging on my lunch hour (i prefer doing it in the early morning, but I'm a wuss when it comes to cold), got distracted by a car full of girls, tripped and skinned the shit out of my knee. Then, on my way home my mom called me just to check in. I make the mistake of asking in passing if they've ever thought about looking into a high-end, minimal assisted-living facility. She lectured me like I haven't been lectured since I was a teenager. Adding to all that, a bunch of people are sick at my office, so i've had to pick up the slack. :(
Submitted by JTROS on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 7:02pm.
Cutting back on hookers, I see ;)
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I decided to just get a girlfriend... it's a little cheaper but not by much.
Speaking of money draining whores (sorry, a.d.d. is in high gear today), I've got a buddy that runs the "Electric Cowboy" aka meat market line-up of falling down drunk chicks and redneck MMA wannabes looking to fuck or fight (both) kind of bars and I just found out the other night he is dating a stripper.... so many things about that I just can't wrap my mind around...
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"A Muppet and his money are soon parted." ~ Lu32Cy (aka Lucifer Sam)
"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers
I can't wrap my head around your description of "Electric Cowboy". Mind. Boggled. So fucking redneck. But, I do love me some MMA.
Speaking of classy...
The hubs surprised me with fondue and the ballet tonight as a Christmas present :). It was great!
Submitted by Versailles on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 6:10pm
I just think it's a fun photo, taken the day before we got the extra tooth pulled out.
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No offense either, but I think people are just squeamish about mouth abnormalities. I avert my eyes from your avi, too, but glad he got it taken out!
IF- I KNOW! Why the hell do you think I bartended for so long! Even in the restaurant at minimum wage a weekends worth of tips would be $300-500, so yeah. You get used to the money.
Omg those were funny as hell. I love the lady running Lmao!!
My secret joy is seeing people fall. Not getting hurt, of course. It's just funny, like farting. Never gets old. LOL
* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *
www.poopreport.com :)
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Submitted by JTROS on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 6:14pm.
I was gonna say almost the exact same thing...
My bank account is fucking hemorrhaging money this month :( $400 for beer, $200 for smokes, $6,000 for crack, etc. All necessities, too. FML.
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"A Muppet and his money are soon parted." ~ Lu32Cy (aka Lucifer Sam)
"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers
Cutting back on hookers, I see ;)
Submitted by Versailles on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 6:10pm.
LOL, I'm sorry if I offended you, didn't know it was your son... it's not the cleanliness of his teeth, they look great, it is the "extra" one hanging down.... reminds me of one of those really loose teeth kids get that is just hanging on by a shred of meat... uhg! I just can't with teeth... when my daughter was little and had a loose tooth, she would flick it so it would wiggle back and forth and it made me freakin queezy...
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"A Muppet and his money are soon parted." ~ Lu32Cy (aka Lucifer Sam)
"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers
@ IF -- aawwww, sorry the time rule cut off your inevitable comeback and overwhelming victory! that is one hell of a training schedule, you must be in fitness model shape [*stops to pass Whamo a washcloth and cigarette*] enjoy your well deserved time off. and you can just whisper the date of your party and directions to your house right [leans into monitor]
i'm hanging in, thanks for asking. lot of work this week, trying to get the rest of the lights up outdoors, figuring out what i'm baking to give as gifts, blah blah ;-)
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Our big dog went to the vet today. Shots and nails trimmed. The tech brings her back to Mr.
after the toes and she goes "she released her anal gland" :( she shit herself. Mr.'s car smelled like poop.
JTROS - your puppehh is such a sweetie! Looks like a snuggler.
Big snuggler...she does this sweet sigh when she's in the perfect snuggle spot, too :).