The Only Good Part From Last Night's Gossip Girl Finale
After six seasons of listening to Blake NotSoLively mumble like she's got a jaw made of Gummi Bears and her tongue was attacked by a swarm of bees, Gossip Girl, the TV show based on Gwyneth Paltrow's teenage life, ended forever last night. Sadly, we didn't find out that the entire show was one of Dorota's nightmares and she's actually an UES socialite and Blair was her maid and Serena was her deaf laundress. But we did find out that (SPOILER ALERTS: if you care) the pube bush on Dan's head was full of SECRETS, Serena van durr Wooden wore She-Ra's cotillon gown to her wedding, Nate Archibald becomes NYC's first gay mayor and that Blair Waldorf gave birth to Mason Disick. We also learned who Gossip Girl is and I'm still mad that it wasn't Blake Lively's poodle, but I was close. The real Gossip Girl doesn't make any sense, but did anything in that mess of a show make sense (prime example: Vanessa's ugly ass clothes)?
Throughout the entire finale, The CW kept scratching at my eyeballs by showing long previews for that neon skid mark of a show The Carrie Diaries. They shoved a dozen commercials for that shit into a feedbag and forcibly strapped that feedbag to my face. But they made up for it in the last few minutes of Gossip Girl's finale by giving me a cameo by Lisa Loeb! Dan's father Rufus ends up with Lisa Loeb in the end. Random doesn't even begin to describe that fuckery. But knowing that Rufus and Lisa Loeb are squirting on each other's hipster glasses during sex times was worth sitting through that wreck of a finale.
And that's that. I'm sure Blake will go on to win a dozen Razzies, Chace Crawford will get 7th place on next season's Dancing with the Has-Beens and Kelly Rutherford will get arrested in France for trying to smuggle her son Hermes out in her Hermes.
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Submitted by CashewTime. on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 4:47pm.
When it comes to Lisa, I have much love, but I have to forget "The Hottest State." She broke Ethan Hawkes heart. Great book, btw.
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Whoa!!! I read the book and saw the movie (I actually thought the movie was better) and I had no idea the girl was based on Lisa Loeb??? Do tell!
Lisa Loeb. Parker Posey. Winona Ryder. Ethan Hawke.
Remember when all these people were tragic hipster Gen X heros. Their art never made it beyond their eye glass frames.
Love how Rufus wears his glasses down on his nose to age himself extra for those five years.
The Carrie Diaries - So Carrie in Sex and City never had any family or hometown or whatever, and suddenly she has a close knit family who like...didn't go to either of her weddings? WTF Fail Candace Bushnell.
Lisa Loeb is looking very Tina Feyish here, lol. Not sure what else she's been doing lately but she does look good in glasses. She could have her own designer brand. lol ;/
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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I only watched the first season and dropped it after that. When GG first came on Joe Mchale and Talk Soup showed multiple clips of the first episode where Chuck tried to rape everyone and their mother. I tuned in to see if the town rapist would get a taste of his own medicine. I tuned out after the first season because it was clear that Chuck would never be made to squeal like a pig.
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"'Those who danced were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.' We hear the music and we still think you're insane, bitch. For the record." [Michael K on Megan Fox]
Eh. Chuck and Blair were the best part of the show.
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There might have been a time when I would let you slip away
I wouldn't even try
But I think you could save my life
I am so incredibly lost...I thought this show ended awhile ago? It's still on? Never seen it.
Just not sure I could make it through...
I have not watched one episode of this masterpiece, will it be available 4 purchase?
The only way this show could redeem its suckitude would be to have the last episode end with both Taylor Momsen and Ed Westwick's characters meeting their untimely demise.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Lol IF. that is a good comparison. I haven't freelanced with writing in a while (how did you know lol), but I still write and going to work toward editing and stuff this next year. I bet you could write some funnies. Your avie next to your writing also makes me laugh often.
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"I don't think anything can separate anything that's super-connected. "
-LeAnn Rimes
Cashew, did I read you are a freelance writer? Me too!
I think Lisa is doing kiddie music now because she failed at adult music. She's like a person who failed med school so now she's a dentist, LOL!
But I appreciate your love and loyalty to her!
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Dark-sided!
I love Lisa Leob only because girl never stopped wearing her glasses. That is why I love Velma from Scooby Doo. THere are too many times that I had to crawl around the floor blind looking for mine.
When it comes to Lisa, I have much love, but I have to forget "The Hottest State." She broke Ethan Hawkes heart. Great book, btw.
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"I don't think anything can separate anything that's super-connected. "
-LeAnn Rimes
Submitted by IrishFury on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 4:15pm.
she does childrens music, and for her music she's always had a pretty solid fan base. Her music is very genuine. And hey, we need more famous quirky girls. I miss the Lilith fair era, and that doesn't seem possible today, so I say we keep her :p.
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"I don't think anything can separate anything that's super-connected. "
-LeAnn Rimes
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 3:20pm.
Is this the one Lauren Conrad is/was on? I buy her clothing line at Kohl's, even though I am senile and should be shopping at Menopause R Us...
Her stuff is pretty nice - I have some skinny jeans and a sweater.
yes, Dan, and I don't even watch it, LOL, but it was
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Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 09/19/2012 - 10:19am.
Bitch, you are not better then Keanu Reeves!
I ony know of this show because of gossip sites but all I know Lisa Loeb is she had one hit (you say...[whatever]" and did some random dating show that I never saw either.
Why is she still around? If she was blonde with big boobs we'd ask that but I think she gets away with it because she looks kind of indie-folksie and may or may not be smart because she wears glases.
My vote is to send her away. ________________________________
Dark-sided!
My sister loves this show. It's a girly, girl show. I never saw it either. I have no patience for sitcoms or whatever you call these hour long soap opera type shows.
I do love True Blood though and was really into Heroes the first season only though and that was ages ago :)
Okay, I hate to admit it but the first two seaons of this show were really kinda good. I gave up after that.
Someone tell me who the Gossip Girl was. I am thinking Dan...am I right?
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
OK, I'm ashamed to admit it, but I CARE...who is the real Gossip Girl?!?!? (Not that there is anyway it could realistically be any human being, sort of like A on Pretty Little Liars the only real explanation is "god just hates these teenage bitches and is fucking with them"
so who is it?!?!?
CTH, I know the poster you mean. I think that it is not the same person who is the author of my siggie, though. The person you mention is more articulate, with a different tone. Like I said, I think that there were a couple of Mansons. Just like there were a few COMMINGBACK'S. Nah mean?
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Last night I was watching "Supernanny" (Love you, Jojo!) reruns on Style. They kept showing ads for some program where this drip describes styling a couple of the so-called "male" "stars". I now hate the show, without ever needing to see an episode. (As if knowing about that Momsen brat because of the show wasn't enough).
It's weird. I have no kids, but I loved Supernanny. Jo Frost's interaction with the families was no bullshit. Strong, direct, with her cockney accent, funny, genuine and kind as well.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Hi Deb!! Yeah, she does rock them! Lady Buddy Holly right there.
Submitted by tonicbitch on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 3:23pm.
Gossip Girl can suck a fat one since they are solely to the blame for the fact that I know Taylor Momsen exists.
Holy shit, I completely forgot she ever existed.
Poor Ed Koch! I guess if you come out after your term as mayor that gayness doesn't count as the first Gay Mayor in NYC?!?
Deb
I'm pretty sure he still shows up here as charlie loves tiger.
CTH, he was great for an ALL CAPS kind of guy! ;)
I loved his philosophy - hence my siggie. Couldn't have said it better myself.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Lisa Loeb seriously does not age....and if she does she has the best plastics MD in the world because she doesn't look plucked, tucked or pulled at all.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Did anyone order me a plain cheese?
Never watched the show, not even once, but I love me some Lisa Loeb!
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www.dungeonhordes.com
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Submitted by Deb on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 3:37pm.
CTH & IV - Remember our Charles Manson, the author of my siggie? I actually think that there was an original poster, (who I believe was male), then he got really sensitive and articulate, so I suspect it was a copy-cat.
The original talked alot about drinking Smirnoff and eating steak as I recall...
I remember him! he was funny as hell. he was quite the character wasn't he?
CTH & IV - Remember our Charles Manson, the author of my siggie? I actually think that there was an original poster, (who I believe was male), then he got really sensitive and articulate, so I suspect it was a copy-cat.
The original talked alot about drinking Smirnoff and eating steak as I recall...
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by LaChaylo on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 3:07pm.
She has her mug painted on a building here in Deep Ellum. I like Lisa Loeb, but she really is a one hit wonder who randomly appears. Like the glow stick from that bad ass rave in 1996.
Who actually still watched GG?
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Hey Chaylo! Yet Lisa is STILL rocking those specs! She even has a line of eyeglass frames!
I've never watched GG.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
IV, chuck manson? damn, that's one brave man. I'd be scared..
I have never seen a single episode of this show.
I've never watched this show. Don't care.
I really loved Gossip Girl and watched all episodes, even the crappy ones (which were most of them). I thought the final episode was shit but thank god this mess ended.
How are you going to fight for some dick if you don't even know whether or not the dick is good? The dick might not even be worth getting into a Rock-Paper-Scissors fight over, let alone a fist fight. - MK
Snowpee: Thanks! I can't keep up with these shows.
CTH: Yeah, she has cute stuff. Some of it is a little TOO youthful but some, like the colored jeggings, are kewl. No, you never did tell me that, but I believe it. A friend of my husbands on FB has a friend named Chuck Manson. He's afraid to ask about it, LOL.
Who watches this Who watches this
Well MK does! How come no word on the Survivor finale (I wanted Malcolm to win but that California Kendoll couldn't even balance a ball on a piece of wood). And The Next Iron Chef finale is next week and I KNEW they'd have to choose a female. They got rid of the gayelle Elizabeth Faulkner and have the other two: the pretty one and the pretty irritating one (fat assed Alex Guaraschelli). You should watch her MK she's nutty.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 3:20pm.
Is this the one Lauren Conrad is/was on? I buy her clothing line at Kohl's,
She has a clothing line? I really do need to leave the house once in awhile...
actually, i'm going to target on friday. for xmas.
did I ever tell you in high school when my friend drew a VERY good portrait of charlie manson for the christmas show, and they wouldn't let her show it.
she was furious. we laughed til we about died. God she was pissed. lol.
Never watched it. Surprised it was still on. Now that it's cancelled, Blake has plenty of time to get that mole on her face checked out.
Gossip Girl can suck a fat one since they are solely to the blame for the fact that I know Taylor Momsen exists.
IV LOL nooooooo wrong show but good for you for keeping it youthful!
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Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 09/19/2012 - 10:19am.
Bitch, you are not better then Keanu Reeves!
Hmm,,,,Gossip Girl,,,sounds a little interesting but I usually don't watch TV,,,maybe I should start......NOT!!!!
Is this the one Lauren Conrad is/was on? I buy her clothing line at Kohl's, even though I am senile and should be shopping at Menopause R Us...
I was never able to make it thru an episode...
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Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 09/19/2012 - 10:19am.
Bitch, you are not better then Keanu Reeves!
I watched this last night and I was happy with the way it ended...so many tv shows have crappy endings, but GG gave the fans what they wanted. I did quit GG for a few years, but I loved it when it first came on soo I had to watch.
And MK you are so right. I feel like I've already seen an entire season of The Carrie Diaries. Ugh. Will not watch.
Mike, who knew that shit was still on?
I personally never heard of this shit. but I limit my television viewing for the sake of my intellect. with apologies to those who don't limit thier viewing.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 3:13pm.
Gossip Girl is STILL on??? I thought it got cancelled years ago. :O
Who watches that shit?
Again, with apologies to those who do whatch this shit.
Who knew that shit was still airing?
Matthew Settle - yum yum yum yum yum.