Two. Dollars.
Much like the newspaper boy from Better Off Dead, Demi wants her $2.00. FOUR WEEKS, TWENTY PAPERS, THAT'S TWO DOLLARS, PLUS TIP. Even though her ass is by far richer and more plasticized than Ashton Kutcher, the hold up in Dummy Demi Moore filing for divorce according to TMZ is her need for some of Ashton's cash. Okay, in our Ramen Noodle, store brand bread and Pabst Blue Ribbon worlds, Ashton is fabulously wealthy (yes, I just typed Ashton and fabulous in the same sentence, and yes, you should slap the shit out of me for that) but when you look at Demi's net worth, you see that #getmoneybitch doesn't really apply here. It's like Donald Trump rolling the valet for his $75 in tips for the day. Bitter much?
Sources say that they can't agree on the settlement, and she wants a fat one (don't we all?) like the one she got when she divorced Bruce Willis. Even though she is loaded in more ways than one, she's not just going to cut her losses and walk away like that!! In Ashton's dreams. While he has Mila Kunis on the one side screaming "Get rid of that funky chicken dancing bitch or no more pussy popping for YOU!" he has Demi on the other side screaming...well, some unintelligible shit because she's wasted on whippits and Red Bull. But the point of her screams is supposed to be DIDN'T ASK FOR A DIME....TWO! DOLLARS!!
It will be another six months until the divorce can be finalized, so we should be plenty sick of laughing at Demi's toddler rompers and dance NOs that make Lenny Kravitz and the rest of us cringe by then. GIRL, or more to the point, WOMAN who hasn't seen "girl" since the late 80's, please. Collect the shards of your dignity, quit acting like a spoiled little bitch, and find someone at least a little handsome to try to make Ashton jealous. NO. Seriously, I'm tired of being secondarily embarrassed for you Demi. Just act like a normal jaded slut, slash his tires, and MOVE. THE. FUCK. ON.
splash, wireimage
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Submitted by Dog on Sun, 12/23/2012 - 9:29pm.
Weird. I've only heard of the dryness problem. Consult your dermatologist.
The number one problem is that Demi thinks she's some kind of hot shit. Bitch, Lenny had Lisa Bonet! And all of us know you ain't got SHIT on Lisa Bonet, so sit you no-ass-at-all / no-moves-at-all shit down. Permanently.
Submitted by mike on Sun, 12/23/2012 - 9:27pm.
Submitted by Dog on Sun, 12/23/2012 - 9:16pm.
How so?
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People tell me my skin looks "radiant" but it's oily as hell. And I don't see any fine lines gone but that could be me being very harsh on myself. The oiliness is real, though.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Dog on Sun, 12/23/2012 - 9:16pm.
How so?
Speaking of divorce, did anyone catch this blind item about Bruce Jenner and Pimp Momma Kris Kardashian Jenner : http://blindgossip.com/?p=49189
It's pretty clear that Bruce's people spoonfed the story to BlindGossip to try to paint him in the best light before the impending firefight. Can't say he hasn't learned from Pimp Momma' fame game!
" The father now realizes that he made a mistake. He is not dumb or passive. He knows that he screwed up. But he also recognizes the pitfalls of fame that lie before him. He knows that swift, public action – talking about the issues, speaking negatively about his wife, making public statements about how unhappy he is about the situation, or suddenly pulling the younger child/ren out of their activities – will only exacerbate the problem. The wife is ruthless when it comes to getting what she wants, and he has no doubt that she will launch a PR war against him if he makes a false move.
So he is trying to deal with all of this very quietly and behind closed doors. He has attorneys, and they are keeping up a steady but careful campaign for him to get more control over the situation. Just know that he is a lot smarter and more disciplined than anyone is giving him credit for being."
Submitted by mike on Sun, 12/23/2012 - 9:05pm.
He's a guy. :)
I keed, I keed
^^^^^^^^^^^
Mike, I hit a wall with the Retin-A Micro!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Anima on Sun, 12/23/2012 - 8:48pm.
I've been trying to figure out why Lenny looks way better/cooler/trendier than Demi when both are almost the same age.
JMO, but he's comfortable with himself. He's not trying super hard. He just 'is'.
Demi is the very definition of fame whoring and trying too hard. She's not comfortable with herself.
I think being comfortable and knowing yourself and confident in your being (if that makes sense) makes someone almost magnetic.
Re: "MOVE. THE. FUCK. ON."
A. The. Fuck. Men.
Submitted by Anima on Sun, 12/23/2012 - 8:48pm.
I've been trying to figure out why Lenny looks way better/cooler/trendier than Demi when both are almost the same age.
He's a guy. :)
I keed, I keed
anima - Because Lenny is always, everyways, COOL.
Just act like a normal jaded slut, slash his tires, and MOVE. THE. FUCK. ON. MK, 12/23/12 (SEE? We're NOT all dead! Guess it's just us sinners and sluts!)
Submitted by Andrei on Sun, 12/23/2012 - 8:59pm.
Hey Dog, ya there? hah, sorry. I had to run out the door (naked) earlier. Ok.. maybe not naked. Damn.
^^^^^^^^^^^
Well, helLO!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
As soon as the announcement was made about the divorce, Justin Bieber went "Oh shit" and ducked for cover.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Hey Dog, ya there? hah, sorry. I had to run out the door (naked) earlier. Ok.. maybe not naked. Damn.
What I don't get is how she can be surprised that this ended badly, she knew what she was getting into marrying some douche who was that much younger than her.
And Lenny is thinking "Wouldn't fuck Miss Crazy with someone else's dick"...Merry Christmas...
"If Drinks are not involved, then neither am I"
I've been trying to figure out why Lenny looks way better/cooler/trendier than Demi when both are almost the same age.
Lenny is just looking out for himself. He was on Howard Stern a few years ago and he talked abouthow he heard Farrah Fawcett fart once at a shoe store he was at with his mom when he was a kid. He's clearly traumatized.
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Sun, 12/23/2012 - 8:14pm.
He's making a movie where he plays S. Jobs; she's wearing rompers.
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Too damn funny!
Jersey Strong
As usual she is making a damn fool out of herself. Bitch is asking for money from her son? Pathetic.
TOUCHDOWN BEARS!!!! 28:6 IN THIRD. WE CUT OUR 3 WEEK STREAKING LOSSES TODAY.
DEMI YOU GOT THIS!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Py5NfEv6c6s
AND IT'S BACK ON TRACK.
Submitted by the original be... on Sun, 12/23/2012 - 6:57pm.
I don't understand how they can file for divorce when they were only "married" in a Kabbalah (or whatever) ceremony.
Yeah, I've given far too much thought to that topic. If there were a valid marriage license, TMZ would have it. If they weren't legally married, but held themselves out as such and signed all sorts of binding papers as H&W, then I bet it's safest to go thru a standard divorce. It sure clears up the bigamy issue if one of them remarries. Plus it lets them wrap up all their property issues in front of a judge.
Demi Moore is pathetic. I feel sorry for her daughters.
I guess it's possible they (a) have a prenup but can't agree on a settlement or (b) don't have a prenup so the gloves are off. Other than joint real estate, I bet he's done much better than her since 2005. And their joint real estate, given where it's located, has likely gone up a good amount since last fall. So not filing sooner affected things.
He's making a movie where he plays S. Jobs; she's wearing rompers.
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“Just then, already tipsy, I thought I’d never seen a man more beautiful. I forgave him his tailored pirate’s shirt. Love doesn’t grow at a steady rate, but advances in surges, bolts, wild leaps….”
Submitted by tomahawk on Sun, 12/23/2012 - 8:00pm.
Edit: Keep in mind that English isn't my native language and that I basically "learned" it by... watching movies and series in English and EVEN I UNDERSTOOD that this article is about the ridiculous prolonging of divorce procedures because Demi can't accept that it's over.
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I know,right?
Get a job bitch.
I like how Lenny Kravitz is leaning to the side all stiff and uncomfortable. You can just tell he feels embarrassed for her and wants her to get the fuck away.
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"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."
Yeah....hell have no fury....
..
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
Submitted by tomahawk on Sun, 12/23/2012 - 7:59pm.
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You've done well for yourself then. I'd say declension is the most difficult part of learning German but at least it shares some of the same roots as English. And pronunciation is pretty much straight forward. You sound just fine.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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So Ashton has more money than Demi does? Was he supporting her during their marriage?
I dont know. She probably went into the marriage thinkin she had him nailed down, and he probably went into it thinking "we can always get a divorce".
Submitted by Sayonara on Sun, 12/23/2012 - 7:00pm.
I am sure that we all can dance way better than Demi.
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Nope, I can't that's why I'm usually just standing at the bar.
Edit: Keep in mind that English isn't my native language and that I basically "learned" it by listening and singing to songs (since the age of 3), reading English comics, later books, then took a break of English about 10 years ago which lasted several years and then started to read gossip blogs, the DM and dlisted 5-4 years ago and started watching movies and series in English and EVEN I UNDERSTOOD that this article is about the ridiculous prolonging of divorce procedures because Demi can't accept that it's over. Next time I'm begging MK to make me a guestblogger (which would be totally unfunny, no matter in which language) and you better be fluent in German by then :P
$2 was to throw at Demi for trying to dance like a crazy goose at every chance. No one has fessed up so far, she's been that bad! Hahaha
*puts my two bucks back in mah pocket. Takes out two pennies cuz I'm nice that way!* blech
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Two. Dollars. It's from the movie Better Off Dead. My sister had a paper route and we said this all the time and laughed our asses off.
As for those who don't care for the post-
move. on.
Submitted by Datura on Sun, 12/23/2012 - 7:31pm.
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The posture and the dancing, LAWD! It's sad but she really should step away from the floor and just try to look cool. The chicken dance will never catch on again, I'm afraid, LOL
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Saphris on Sun, 12/23/2012 - 7:32pm.
glad to hear others had no idea what the hell they just read, too. So it's not about two dollars? I didn't want to waste my time reading it again.
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LOL I gave up and just went to the TMZ link.
glad to hear others had no idea what the hell they just read, too. So it's not about two dollars? I didn't want to waste my time reading it again.
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Lucifer_Sam: "Do you EVER post anything worthwhile on this site? Do you EVER have a point to make?" In case anyone else was wondering, the answer is "No."
That picture! I think I had the same posture of embarrassment as Lenny when my mother gave me "The Talk."
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"You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
Sweetass, if it wasn't you we would slap you silly for writing Asston and fabulous in the same sentence, hahaha. Merry Christmas and all the rest to ya Sweetass. ≈❀≈❀≈❀
On Demi, guess them's the breaks if you don't do a prenup first. If she did, then on to the next...
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Cookie_Monster_ on Sun, 12/23/2012 - 7:21pm.
Would be nice if these bloggers worried less about trying to appear witty and actually told a story. Half the time it's trying to decipher through bad puns and half-assed sarcastic quotes in trying to figure out wtf the real story is.
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I have had it happen that I need to read something several times to pick out the main point. It took me a while to figure out that two dollars had nothing to do with the divorce.
"NO. Seriously, I'm tired of being secondarily embarrassed for you Demi. Just act like a normal jaded slut, slash his tires, and MOVE. THE. FUCK. ON."
Agree! Just that picture alone is cringe worthy.
I actually feel sorry for her ugly, self-entitled spawn. How embarrassing this loser is. Imagine their horror when she starts trying to bone the midgets from One Direction. Squiffy Swift will write a song about her and then her spawn will have to kill her.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Lisbet I can't see major film roles coming her way.
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same here. too bad she can't settle down and be a normal mother or human. she's such a reject.
Would be nice if these bloggers worried less about trying to appear witty and actually told a story. Half the time it's trying to decipher through bad puns and half-assed sarcastic quotes in trying to figure out wtf the real story is.
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I hope your free abortions are worth it because your daughter, your daughter's daughter, and your daughter's daughter's daughter will be paying for them throughout the next couple of centuries. If America still exists.~ pfk
her last hit was striptease. maybe some would argue G.I Jane. in the 90's.
Submitted by CodeRed on Sun, 12/23/2012 - 7:16pm.
when's the last time she was on the work market and made a movie or sitcome anyhow? Get a job, ya wreck.she's become no better than a two bit gold digger.
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She was actually very good in Margin Call, even though her face was frightening. Good enough that, with her reputation and some proper campaigning, she could've gotten an Oscar nod. But she was too out of it to do anything constructive. Those in power wouldn't touch her after that and, anyway, she was a total joke for the audiences.
I think she's done. She might be hurting for money and I can't see major film roles coming her way.
They must have had some kind of marriage paperwork, otherwise there would be no divorce to file for. Cali doesn't recognized common law marriage.
when's the last time she was on the work market and made a movie or sitcome anyhow? Get a job, ya wreck.she's become no better than a two bit gold digger.
those cottage cheese legs on Demi are killing me worse then her Elaine Marie Benes' dancing from Seinfeld...
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slap me silly and call me Sally...
What I wanna know is: how does a douchenozzle like Asston keep getting hot chicks. Demi might be whackadoo but she was gorgeous back in the day. And now he's with Mila Kunis. Hopefully she has an actual brain and runs for the hills.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Lisbet - I'd tend to agree with you, but this IS Cali, and we all know how fucked up Cali is (i.e. Blohan - HA! - and the Grammar "mitigated" or "bifurcated" [or whatever-the-term] divorce that's not really a divorce, etc...)
I've been reading/hearing about how this marriage wasn't actually a "marriage" (per se) since it happened, which makes the whole "filing for divorce thing" sort of a non-issue. I mean, I don't know what exactly went down, but if there was no "legal marriage," there can be no legal divorce. So, whatevs, I guess.
Just act like a normal jaded slut, slash his tires, and MOVE. THE. FUCK. ON. Sweetas (my bad!), 12/23/12 (SEE? We're NOT all dead! Guess it's just us sinners and sluts!)
She's starting to look like she'd have that *Old Lady Smell*
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