The Hell Is Kim Kartrashian Wearing, Part 1,674,923

This is your up-to-the-second update (that you didn't want or ask for) of Kim Kardashian's ever-growing knocked up body. Although, some konspiracy theorists think Kim is Beyonce-ing it and will cover her body with the best baby pillows that Kanye West's money can buy while a surrogate (SPOILER ALERT: Bruce Jenner, the surrogate is Bruce Jenner) carries the Illuminati's golden child. Whatever the case may be, the smog above France has been infested with the stank scent of fishy dick queefs and bronzer and it's all because Kim and Kanye are in Paris right now for some reason.

Don't ask me why they're there, but Kanye is of course using their daily walks down the ho stroll to display some fugged up shit on Kim's body. I don't even know how to explain that thing. Is it a cape barfing up a jacket? Is it a re-worked Snuggie? Is it a Land's End fleece jacket? Is it a fupa-hiding poncho? The only thing I do know is that it's a wreck and Kanye would've looked better in it. Kanye would've worked that cape thing and put the gay in gay Paree by giving everyone a twirlie show.

Splash, Wenn.com, Bauer Griffin

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by thebridge on Wed, 01/09/2013 - 8:21pm.

KonGay and Trashian is there to visit the surrogate.

PEPPER FOR PRESIDENT!!!!

Submitted by QueenOfTrashinII on Wed, 01/09/2013 - 3:18pm.

I'm with the konspiracy theorists on this one. I was just thinking the other day that her face still looks the same, as do her boobs. No 'baby bump' yet. I believe it is a konspiracy to get Kris Humphries to give her the divorce more quickly. If she thought Kris had an ounce of sympathy for her, she STUPID!

Submitted by mamacita75 on Wed, 01/09/2013 - 1:42pm.

You know what is most sad? A child is being brought into the world that has two parents that care more about themselves, than they do each other or even the child. The lengths they go to for attention is sickening, and frankly is going to be one of the more humorous family situations that I'll see in my lifetime. Poor kid. I'm seeing the Drew Barrymore People covers at age 8. Irreconcilable Differences, anyone?

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I have to laugh to keep from crying.

Submitted by Deb on Wed, 01/09/2013 - 1:27pm.

I HATE, HATE, HATE peep-toe boots. It's an oxymoron. Wear sandals or boots, dammit!

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by not shocked on Wed, 01/09/2013 - 1:21pm.

People don't generally announce publicly or to family pregnancies until they pass the first trimester. Just incase of miscarraige etc. They merely announce their Guatamalan surrogate is 3 months pregnant. It's definitely fakery. No way in hell that vain bitch who gets endermologie/biothermie treatments on her hamhocks every week would really carry a child.

Submitted by bitchSpray on Wed, 01/09/2013 - 10:20am.

you know like kanye is always showing his fatty fat fat plump mug?

it always makes me wanna SLAP HIM. just like that. i don't care about him, don't know any of his songs... but THAT FACE... urgh

Submitted by bitchSpray on Wed, 01/09/2013 - 10:17am.

looks to me like a lame tribute to professor snape: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_LGkxTF2xWxs/TJfpR348oQI/AAAAAAAAAxI/YC5MaYx3jk...

thanks for trying, but no.

Submitted by skinny fat on Wed, 01/09/2013 - 9:11am.

Lardassian isn't pregnant. She's just fat and stupid.

Submitted by QuweenJillian on Wed, 01/09/2013 - 8:51am.

These 2 don't love each other, they only love themselves! I think Kim was so jealous that Reggie knocked up his new girlfriend, that she just had to up him one. Both are cheaters, both self absorbed, they belong together...

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I'm not a slut, I'm sexually liberated. There's a difference.
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Submitted by chinchilla on Wed, 01/09/2013 - 8:14am.

@RandeSleepover

tricked? i doubt that. he's as big of a famewhore as Kim and probably thought it seemed like a great idea at the time. tho i agree the look of utter despair we've been seeing lately comes from the sudden realization of what he's gotten himself into.

Submitted by FrappenBloat on Wed, 01/09/2013 - 7:10am.

My new years resolution is to never again read or comment on a post on any site involving the kardashians, lohans, peter andre, jordan (KP) Peckhams or kerry katona or cheryl cole leann rimes or any other idiots of their like. You really think they'd read about you?! No. They only care about themselves and keeping your energy and focus on them too.

Therefore! my lost post will just say, she looks like severus snape in his bat mode.

And that's it :) Happy days.

It's us commenting on their posts and showing interest the only thing keeping them famous.

Submitted by ewesocrazy on Wed, 01/09/2013 - 7:02am.

These clowns. Try-hard-dee and Try-hard-dumb bimbo.

Submitted by turnelbup on Wed, 01/09/2013 - 6:45am.

Why? Why? Why? Why?
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"When in doubt, freak 'em out" -- Sharon Needles

Submitted by juni on Wed, 01/09/2013 - 6:32am.

They look like they are going to their own funeral.

Submitted by FunFilled on Wed, 01/09/2013 - 6:02am.

His nose is plastastic. Why do people find them interesting? Bottom-feeders.

Submitted by lameatman on Wed, 01/09/2013 - 2:00am.

I knew she looked like a hog, but I swear in a couple of those pics she looks like she has hooves. Anyone else ?

Submitted by Mani6 on Wed, 01/09/2013 - 1:43am.

Th kardashians don't have babies, they have cattle.

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Submitted by JessicaGiovanna on Wed, 01/09/2013 - 1:36am.

Who didn't kill it before it laid eggs? Tsk tsk tsk, come on people..

Submitted by Bizzarelife on Wed, 01/09/2013 - 1:22am.

Hi, VOB. Sounds like a plan. Sorry to hear that you also have to get surgery. Ugggh, sucks, huh?

Yes, it totally blows. Unfortunately, my torrid history with sinusitis and respiratory problems is wide and varied. Tonsillectomies are a right of passage in my family. Unfortunately, this crap is inherited. I get debilitating infections in my sinuses, throat, and ears, which have weakened my immune system. This cold I have now is about the fourth I have gotten in the past year. It's been awful.

So, given my family's history (much improved post-tonsillectomy), I finally got the doc's OK to go forward.

I certainly wish you the best on yours!

Submitted by veryoldbat on Wed, 01/09/2013 - 1:09am.

Bizzare we can be surgery buddies.. But tonsils as an adult are brutal.. For why are you doing this?

I'd say I'm surprised by this but the truth is I heard it in a song while I was sleeping upside down in my daughter's closet.- Dog
The one who finds the most virgins by the end of the evening wins the Turkey! Gardening Girl

Submitted by Bizzarelife on Wed, 01/09/2013 - 1:04am.

I have a nasty cold yet again, so I was watching TV today to try and relax. I have a tosillectomy coming up, so I am doing my best not to stress.

Suffice it to say, I saw this beast on Betty White's "Off their Rockers" show. Granted, I am not sure who watches it, but I had to suffer through yet ANOTHER wooden appearance on a show from this yeti. I am tired of seeing her! I never watch anything she does (not willingly - hence today).

If I have one wish for the New Year, it would be for her and her ridiculous family to FADE into obscurity!!!!

Submitted by meowsers on Wed, 01/09/2013 - 12:57am.

I have no issues with the garbage bag she's wearing. The less I have to see of her, the better. Those fugly opened toe boots on the other hand offend me greatly. Surely someone has a nice big flaming hot fire pit to take care of them? I'd offer up my fireplace but the smell should be kept outdoors. Burn the boots!!!

Submitted by nunes sousa on Wed, 01/09/2013 - 12:53am.

She's in mourning. For herself.

Submitted by RandéSleepover on Wed, 01/09/2013 - 12:30am.

Kanye has always looked dour. He's just more unhappy now that he got tricked into this whole baby stuff and he can see where it'll lead.

..............
Gomez, Even Song

Submitted by tomahawk on Wed, 01/09/2013 - 12:25am.

Talking about "more press" I haven't read about Lady Caca for a while.

Submitted by Naughychimp on Wed, 01/09/2013 - 12:19am.

When they're out in public together, they always look as though they really dislike each other. Surly, not holding hands, silent...

Submitted by WinterOwl22 on Wed, 01/09/2013 - 12:06am.

Gobbler, it is definitely not sad. I hope it's fake and she gets exposed. Then maybe this family will go away! : )

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I like to smile, smiling's my favorite! : )

The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!

Submitted by deucenoir on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 11:55pm.

Wardrobe called, Harry potter needs his costume back, whore.

their body language speaks volumes - they don't even seem to fake it for the paps, which for these two stunt queens is saying a lot.

Submitted by princesspoppy on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 11:52pm.

I mean seriously: is that a ZIPPER on her coat? A zipper? Bitch aint skiing in transelvania.

Submitted by princesspoppy on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 11:50pm.

Gobbler:
Is it sad that I'm hoping it IS a hoax, and that no more children will be born into that abomination of a family?

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I'm really hoping it is a joke, she fakes a miscarragige, PMK forces Kanye out, and the backlash forces them ALL into Afgani caves.

Submitted by de Cosmos on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 11:43pm.

That's Santa Angelina's canonization robe!

Submitted by Get Serious on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 11:42pm.

Fatassed knocked up whores gotta do what fatassed knocked up whores do...

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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer

Submitted by Gobbler on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 11:12pm.

Submitted by WinterOwl22 on Wed, 01/09/2013 - 12:39am.

She just wants to bring more attention to her pregnancy by hiding it even though she's not showing yet. That is IF she is actually pregnant and this isn't a ploy orchestrated by her pimp to get more press.
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Is it sad that I'm hoping it IS a hoax, and that no more children will be born into that abomination of a family?

Submitted by Madam Pince on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 11:09pm.

Bitch looks like a bat, which is an insult to a great species.

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"Lord help us all! Jesus take the bedazzled wheel." ~~MK

Submitted by WinterOwl22 on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 11:09pm.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

I like to smile, smiling's my favorite! : )

The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!

Submitted by Side-Eyez on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 11:00pm.

@crazyinjapan - LOL - I know, right! I hope Caltrans forces her to slap one of those "wide load" signs on her ass when she steps outside of her house.

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Submitted by crazyinjapan on Wed, 01/09/2013 - 12:17am.
It's going to be fun watching her get fat. Much more fun than Jessica Simpson. I hope she gains 80 pounds like Jenny McCarthy did and just blows up like a puffer fish. Maybe she'll get a double chin! You can't hide that behind a black tent.

Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 10:59pm.

Submitted by rook on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 11:43pm.

She looks like the Creeper from Jeepers Creepers.
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Ha! That movie grosses me out. Even grosser and scarier when you realize the director is a child rapist. A different story for a different day, I guess.

Can't tell if this cow is really pregnant or what. Usually this early in a pregnancy you don't really need to be wearing a giant cape. She's just being overdramatic. Then again, Kanye is such a egomaniac I could see him getting off on some poor woman carrying his demon seed.

Submitted by Side-Eyez on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 10:55pm.

Poncho by Snuggies. Open toe boots in winter. *snicker*

Submitted by oh dave on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 10:50pm.

She is in Paris wearing a caped sweatsuit from Penney's.

Submitted by crazyinjapan on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 10:47pm.

It's going to be fun watching her get fat. Much more fun than Jessica Simpson. I hope she gains 80 pounds like Jenny McCarthy did and just blows up like a puffer fish. Maybe she'll get a double chin! You can't hide that behind a black tent.

Submitted by Esteem on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 10:36pm.

Since when has this bitch worn anything that wasn't 5 sizes too small? She's trying way too hard to get publicity for the pregnancy, if it's even real.

Submitted by misslainey on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 10:36pm.

Submitted by crazyinjapan on Wed, 01/09/2013 - 12:02am

I saw that! I can't remember the comedian's name, but wasn't it that Indian kid that was on Scrubs? That was so funny!

Submitted by Gingah on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 10:34pm.

There is no way in hell these two twats are in love.

Submitted by caffeinecrazed on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 10:34pm.

Sorry Kunt,but wearing a pillow baby is SO LAST YEAR! Lol.

Submitted by misslainey on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 10:34pm.

Submitted by louise_brooks on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 11:39pm.

Can totally see him pouting in the corner while the nanny feeds the kid. I also think he refers to himself in the third person

Submitted by bonghits4jesus on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 10:32pm.

peep toe boots? so trashy.

Submitted by FaerieBad1 on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 9:40pm.
omg the oblongs. i loved that cartoon.

Submitted by crazyinjapan on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 10:32pm.

Submitted by misslainey on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 11:02pm.

Submitted by cmc311 on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 10:28pm.

No one loves Kanye as much as Kanye loves Kanye. He would never two time with someone else; thus he cannot be affectionate with Kim. She is just the host of his self replicating seed anyway.
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HAHA! This is so true. I just watched this stand-up comedian who got to go over to Kanye's house. When he got there, Kanye had the stereo up really loud, playing his own music, and bobbing his head to it. The comedian asked him why he was listening to his own music. "These are some dope beats," was Kanye's answer.

Submitted by A__________Z on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 10:18pm.

Fashion from the movie Dune??? This hog is ready at only 3 months. It will be HUGE when the bebe escapes. I look for bebe to gnaw through the cord and make a run for it any time now.