Beyonce Is A Hoarder Of All Things Beyonce
Before you are granted the right to interview the permanent president of the Beyonce fan club, Beyonce herself, you have to agree to become a part of the Beyonce archives forever. GQ's Amy Wallace writes in a cover story about Beyonce that anybody who interviews her is taped and that footage goes directly into a massive vault of all things her. Beyonce claims to have a picture of every picture taken during her career and she keeps it all in a museum to herself. So you know that picture your second cousin took from the 900th row at the Beyonce concert and then posted it on Facebook? One of Beyonce's minions (Basement Baby or a forgotten child of Destiny) found that picture, printed it out and stuck it in a file for possible future reference. Bitch keeps better records than the government.
Beyonce stars in her own unaired reality show about herself, because she has a full-time "visual director" (aka an ego tracker) who documents her every waking moment. Correction: The visual director also documents her non-waking moments, because while some simple hos talk in their sleep, Beyonce sings new, original and unique material in her sleep. Beyonce used just some of the millions of hours of footage for an HBO documentary about her, starring her, produced by her and directed by her.
As always, Beyonce kept it humble during the interview and said that as far as she knows she's the hardest-working human in the music industry and she's earned her place as the queen of everything. Beyonce ended the interview by burping up this organic humble pie crumb:
"I now know that, yes, I am powerful. I'm more powerful than my mind can even digest and understand."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That quote is so powerful and it's more powerful than my mind can even digest and understand. Even GOOPY Paltrow is like, "Calm down, ho."
In other Beyonce news, she announced on Facebook today that she has fulfilled her charitable contributions for the year by recording a new Destiny's Child song with the lessers known as Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams.
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If your brain is so powerful, then pick up a damn book and learn how to speak right !
I think she should be above doing these kind of photoshoots ..
bambam -- True. She's the type that needs to be seen not heard. Sorry to say. Jay-Z prides himself on being "intelligent" so I truly wonder how he gets along with having conversations with his brain dead wife.
Submitted by yepyepyep on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 5:44pm.
I don't understand why she has problems speaking English as it is her native and only language. I have problems pronouncing my z and v's but English my second language, and I know my grammar is not great but I'm trying. She mumbles her words.
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Can you imagine the number of takes they have to do to get her makeup/hair commercials right? She has a hard time saying "infallible" lip colour in the L'Oreal commercial. Every time I see it I say to myself bitch probably doesn't even know what the word means - she sounds that dumb.
Beyond the ego/narcissist thing, I totally get "hoarding" your images. She does seem to "control" her image very well. For the most part the public sees what SHE wants them to see...except for those few instances like baby-foldgate or when she's leaping into the back of a car at 9 1/2 months preggers. lol
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"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." — Albert Einstein
I so over seeing these singers pooching out their butts, e.g., RiRi, in:
http://www.dlisted.com/2012/12/24/rhianna-classy-ho
If you've got talent, you don't need to do this to get recognition. So what's going on here? And this includes Madge and Shitney's crotch shots too. It's not sexy, it's desperate.
That pose she's doing works wonders for the photographed body. Stand up, now arch your lower back as much as you can. MAGIC! Your tummy looks flatter and thighs instantly look thinner. Models do it all the time for butt shots; just enough arch to lift the butt and make the thighs look thinner without making it obvious. Fraud.
@ Bda, no doubt about that. But when she opens her mouth and let's you know what she's about.....
Beauty's only skin deep, yeah yeah yeah.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1zJeGf-gpc
I hate Beyonce with a passion but damn she looks good!!!
wow, looks like someone invented a shakira filter for photoshop.
Submitted by Sarah Smile on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 7:21pm.
I have said it once and I'll say it again: Aaliyah's death was the best thing that happened to Bey's career.
Sarah Smile
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How true. Aaliyah was an actual double threat as she was a singer and a fairly strong actress if Queen of the Damned is anything to go by.
She makes me sick.
Bad, bad vibe.
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Fair is foul and foul is fair..
She's powerful in popular culture for a specific demographic. The same can be said about the LezBeaver... argh.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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@Sarah Smile - oh, good point! I had almost forgotten about her! Yeah, it's a shame. Aaliyah was on her way up and she was heads above her competition. Plus, I'm pretty certain that she was the actual age that she claimed to be :).
I have said it once and I'll say it again: Aaliyah's death was the best thing that happened to Bey's career.
Sarah Smile
" She can't digest her own power"??? wow does this woman realize how irrelevant she's been and how much more she's become. Poor Blur Blur ,she be growing up with Joan Crawford.
I hate her fake humble and shy front she always puts on...
That pose again! She is so powerful she pinches a loaf in front of everyone and no one can say nothing!!!!!! They have to comment on how good it smells too...
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Don't start none and the'll be none.
Submitted by winniwins on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 4:50pm.
^^^^THIS!
So FREAKING tired of these stupid-ass celebrities. I want to focus on what is important in this world. We need to celebrate those that are truly the amazing celebrities in life. I would much rather watch an award show with life-saving ER doctors, firefighters, medics, etc. than these selfish idiots.
Agreed:)
Submitted by miz cynical on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 5:20pm.
This is something I can believe. Didnt she say something in an interview that she barely graduated high school? It is a true shame that reading and proper grammar have gone out the window with some. It is pretty important to at least speak eloquently when presenting yourself publicly. Hell, at least the royals have something right.
Every day I find her less and less attractive and interesting. She needs to change it up.
I just can't believe how full she is of herself...Kim Kartrashian's ego seem like a plain Jane compared to that
I don't understand why she has problems speaking English as it is her native and only language. I have problems pronouncing my z and v's but English my second language, and I know my grammar is not great but I'm trying. She mumbles her words. I don't like her because she honestly cannot sing lead, she more of a backup singer that is pretty. And she os pretty but she has got to stop with the blonde weave and green eye contacts. Be black and proud and beautiful, she a role model to many. Like you guys said she needs to educate herself on basic grammar and phonetics, specially if she wants to be an actress.
Stop.
Talking.
If she stuck to her music (it's not going to echo through the ages, but it won't cut your eardrums) and maybe her Tumblr, she'd be fine. If she kept some mystique, it'd work.
Those are some klasseh, klasseh photos, amirite?
Submitted by annobanano on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 4:40pm.
Posed like she's dropping a deuce
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LOL but the deuce came out of her mouth this time!
Her "visual director" records every waking moment? Then he has footage of her strapping on the fake baby bump, right?
Re: her ego - what do you expect from a woman married to an ugly man who calls himself "Hova" (as in Jehovah)?
Little education and big egos often go together.
Mix cynical, years ago I saw a pic of her and Jay Z and I swear Beyonce looked like this Mexican singer Paulina Rubio.
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I like to smile, smiling's my favorite! : )
The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
Submitted by CashewTime. on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 4:44pm.
But I will say that a producer friend of mine who worked with her told me she is very nice in person and she makes an effort not to interfere in her sister's career (the shoot involved BBaby).
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Exactly. And that's why I really like Solange. She's making music on her own without Beyonce's help.
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I like to smile, smiling's my favorite! : )
The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
Submitted by WinterOwl22 on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 5:18pm.
Jack, I meant tooching, not tooting!
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LMAO I was like yea cuz thats a HUGE turn on...
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" Can I wear the Scream mask? The mask from Scream... when I do you from behind..." ~ Kenny Powers
Facially, she's starting to look like Shakirra in her recent photoshoots. To back up what Wendy Williams claims, I heard when they were making that Austin Powers movie, that it took a long time just because Beyonce can barely read and speak properly. That they were constantly going over her lines with her. I think that's why her speaking role consisted of a few "yeah, baby!" type of lines. Oh, and she needs to STFU already. Hearing this on the heels of the inauguration nonsense still has me bitter :(.
See, they shaved more of her ass off!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
LOOOOOOOVE the shoes!
I wonder if it is possible to even walk in them. I'm too tall anyway!
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~~~ Woosah ~~~~
Jack, I meant tooching, not tooting!
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I like to smile, smiling's my favorite! : )
The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
And she's tooting that booty just for you Jack. : P
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I like to smile, smiling's my favorite! : )
The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
Can't she get into a freak accident with Justin Timberlake, all of the Kartrashians, and a few others that I hate but can't recall at this very moment?
Submitted by donha on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 5:04pm.
It may be my imagination but I think photoshoppers are getting sloppier over the years. They don't have to even try to make it look believable, as long as the celebrities look skinny.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Her thighs fluctuate size in these pics by at least 10 inches. At least be consistent with your damn photoshopping.
cannot figure out for the life of me how young people these days have an oversexualized sense of females and sports. weird.
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watching hardcore ufos
She sounds just slightly less shit-filled than Tammy. And she has no real power or influence - the fact that she married a cheating rapper tells you that.
Submitted by CashewTime. on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 4:39pm.
I agree totally. She's no better than Shitney in terms of intellect and education, she's just less mentally ill.
And the inauguration thing pisses me off too. Yeah, they couldn't select someone of class, intelligence and talent, cuz they wouldn't be enough of a CELEBRITY. And we know the POTUS loves celebrities more than anyone else...
I'd love it if she sang "Diva" at the inauguration, and made everyone collapse with bleeding ears.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Unfortunately, she's right. She and Jay-Z hold a lot of cards in pop culture today. They helped Obama get a second term, rub elbows with the POTUS constantly, dominate the airwaves (along with the other chosen few) we even wear clothes made by them without even knowing it. Even Barbara Walters ( who used to interview presidents and despots) is interviewing Mimi about her tiff with Minaj. It absolutely sickens me how we are given so few choices and so many people are okay with that. Sorry. Rant over.
*FARTS*
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 4:29pm.
Submitted by MissAnnThrope on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 4:23pm.
Submitted by bambam on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 4:09pm.
if you made it about her being from the south or Texas instead of about her being Black or "ghetto" you might not be
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And just to be clear, it's about being under-educated. If you aspire to be at the top you should at least have better grammar skills. I've never heard Tina Turner speak like that, never.
Plus it's a shame folks associate that kind of dialect with one group, there's plenty of other examples out there.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1zJeGf-gpc
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 4:29pm.
Submitted by MissAnnThrope on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 4:23pm.
Submitted by bambam on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 4:09pm.
if you made it about her being from the south or Texas instead of about her being Black or "ghetto" you might not be
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Oh no you di-int!!! I AM from the south... Texas to be exact! LMAO! Too funny and how ironic!! I'm living in Beyonce-ville, Houston! HA!
@cowjam-- I can't load the link, I will try again later! Thank you though!
But I will say that a producer friend of mine who worked with her told me she is very nice in person and she makes an effort not to interfere in her sister's career (the shoot involved BBaby).
I still think that former Hotslut Wil's protrayal of Etta James expressing her disdain over Beeey-awnce! covering her song At Last is hilarious
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adLJRKQWAO8
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"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."
She's just like her mother, a ghetto-bitch-money-chasing whore.
Bitch needs to get some English lessons and learn to enunciate..everything isn't "I be" bullshit when speaking.
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I hope your free abortions are worth it because your daughter, your daughter's daughter, and your daughter's daughter's daughter will be paying for them throughout the next couple of centuries. If America still exists.~ pf
Posed like she's dropping a deuce
Meh, after enduring non-stop Rihanna music, and Taylor Swift's ass I don't mind Beyonce too much. Still annoyed that she was picked to perform at the inauguration. And she can take her time in releasing her next album.
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I like to smile, smiling's my favorite! : )
The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
She has a bangin body...
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" Can I wear the Scream mask? The mask from Scream... when I do you from behind..." ~ Kenny Powers
Her lack of education and the way she makes money from flaunting her body is why it pisses me off that she's held up to represent our country so many gd times. I know I've said it before, but how the hell are a couple who rap and sing about "bitches" "soldiers" and "video phones" good examples for what to do with your life? I know it's just pop music, and I can have fun with it, but there are other black artists out there who can knock the national anthem out of the park, including Esperanza Spalding, John Legend, Jhud--all people who are either educated or who do not need their bodies for success (Jhud could be chubby and she still would have been picked to honor Whitney's life). Beyonce is a pop star and will be legendary when she's older, but I hate that she was able to buy a place in a gd inauguration ceremony. Superbowl, yes, but inauguration?? Give me a break!
Great, now I know what this woman looks like when she's bending down to take a shit.
I don't like her one little bit. She has had a few good hits but bitch is far from being anywhere near as good as Mariah Carey.
Who is buying her Dariare (sp?) label anyway or funny farm phat farm whatever Jayzee sells that makes them so much money? I don't get how their wealth continues to grow. Who funds them? Al Queda?