“Only Get My Right Side, Dahling!”
I woke up today in a puddle of sticky sickness and feeling like death warmed over a Kardashian queef, but this video of Mimi being Mimi at her Mimi-est has temporarily soothed all of my senses. This is the only medicine I need today. During an interview for the next season of American Idol, Mimi nearly strained her next muscle by trying to keep the camera from picking up her ugly side. While Ryan Gaycrest, Randy Jackson and the refugee from Fraggle Rock pooted at the mouth about Idol shit, Mimi awkwardly squirmed around like John Travolta in a room full of vaginas. Mimi did not want the camera to get her left side.
Mimi didn’t want to be there, but since she had to be there, she made it as glamorous as possible by giving the camera several servings of her exquisitely crafted right side, which looks like a unicorn’s profile under a shower of moonlight. Or maybe Mimi kept turning her head, because she was trying to get away from inhaling the stench of silica gel packets and bronze-infused farts wafting off of Nicki and Ryan Gaycrest.
Mimi looks like the epitome of ridiculous, but I can’t fully hate on her while she’s wearing Brenda Walsh’s prom dress.