"Only Get My Right Side, Dahling!"

I woke up today in a puddle of sticky sickness and feeling like death warmed over a Kardashian queef, but this video of Mimi being Mimi at her Mimi-est has temporarily soothed all of my senses. This is the only medicine I need today. During an interview for the next season of American Idol, Mimi nearly strained her next muscle by trying to keep the camera from picking up her ugly side. While Ryan Gaycrest, Randy Jackson and the refugee from Fraggle Rock pooted at the mouth about Idol shit, Mimi awkwardly squirmed around like John Travolta in a room full of vaginas. Mimi did not want the camera to get her left side.

Mimi didn't want to be there, but since she had to be there, she made it as glamorous as possible by giving the camera several servings of her exquisitely crafted right side, which looks like a unicorn's profile under a shower of moonlight. Or maybe Mimi kept turning her head, because she was trying to get away from inhaling the stench of silica gel packets and bronze-infused farts wafting off of Nicki and Ryan Gaycrest.

Mimi looks like the epitome of ridiculous, but I can't fully hate on her while she's wearing Brenda Walsh's prom dress.

Source: ONTD via Gawker

Posted by: Michael K

•

Submitted by jenlynxo on Mon, 01/14/2013 - 6:44pm.

Are we just going to ignore the fact that she tucked the straps of her dress in to make it look strapless? I always knew you were ghetto at heart, Mimi.

Submitted by Pootie on Mon, 01/14/2013 - 5:44pm.

I kinda feel bad for her just a little. Everyone has one side of their face that is just a little bigger than the other side. I know that the side of my face that is bigger puffs up a lot when I get bloated and I actually notice it in photographs. It's kinda disturbing.
The thing is, she is being so extreme with her movements that she is doing nothing but making it **more** noticeable. I mean, she is on camera, not doing still shots. I have always thought that Mimi had a bit of the crazies. Who doesn't? She is extremely narcissistic for one. She is looking extra crazy in this video.
And another thing! Anyone who questions this woman's talent is CRAZY! This woman has incredible natural talent. There is no question about that.

POOOHTEEEE!

Submitted by RosettaStoned on Mon, 01/14/2013 - 1:01am.

Submitted by Gobbler on Sat, 01/12/2013 - 9:08pm.
Nikki Minaj a Trois looks like a damn bottle of Studio Gel from teh 80z.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T24DdUPt5d0

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
THANK YOU it was driving me crazy trying to think why I was having the intense urge to grab a large tooth plastic comb and my Hit Stix

Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 5:27pm.

Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 5:08pm.

Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 1:15pm.

-------------------------------------
Sweetie, unless you're planning to bus tables for a living, you're gonna be using that algebra all your life
______________________________

Orly? Because I know quite a bit of people with well paying jobs, and algebra doesn't factor in. What kind of realistic job are you trying to proclaim you have?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."

Submitted by KobeLover on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 4:49pm.

@KISA--thanks for the reply! :)

@NOTREALLYWORKING--"minaj a twat"--hilarious!

Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 3:38pm.

Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 1:15pm.

-------------------------------------
Sweetie, unless you're planning to bus tables for a living, you're gonna be using that algebra all your life

Submitted by the wild pearl on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 3:03pm.

Mimi slept her way to a recording contract? Either some people weren't around when she started, or some people have no idea how rare a 5-octive range is. I don't care whom she sleeps with or how nasty she looks. She's a singer. Minaj is little more than a zookeeper's hood ornament.

Submitted by jilliancnow23 on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 2:43pm.

Nikki better watch her catty ass because young people who dream are born everyday and some might actually be catty to her in the future. Mariah was always a good singer and I'm not for the "I'm a Diva-bow to me" attitude either but YOU RESPECT YOUR ELDERS. Jillian

Submitted by rosehips69 on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 2:35pm.

Instead of being obsessed with her phantom ugly left side, maybe she should get the the gym and tone up a bit, or stop using so much dramatic contour powder, or fix her bewbs because they look like they belong on a different body.

That's the funny thing about excessively vain people sometimes. The more they worry, the worse they look. And they don't even know WHY they look bad!

Submitted by Hekki on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 1:29pm.

Submitted by Juniperjump: "Look at this stuff from the DM.

FIrstly - the Kidman five head --- shudder..."

It's not even the Forehead That Ate Her Face that's most disturbing to me. It's the villainess eyebrowns that look like they're sitting directly atop her eyeballs. Why? Why? Can't her gay husband find a nice way to mention that?

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:53am.

63FreudianHairs -- welcome to dlisted!!!

=======================================================

"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"

"Two eyes, two eyebrows."

Submitted by Pookie on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:48am.

In one of the photos of John & Kelly further down the page, it looks like she got something on her top. Maybe he's trying to cover it up? Or perhaps John's greasy hand caused the issue to start with...

==================================================

Submitted by Juniperjump on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:26pm.
Look at this stuff from the DM.

FIrstly - the Kidman five head --- shudder...

And secondly, WTF is going on with the TRavoltas? Please don't tell me they are about to have another baby?!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2261603/Nicole-Kidman-looks...

Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:45am.

I just got done last month with my last algebra class,thank fuck!If I never have to deal with another algebraic expression I will be a little happier just knowing THAT. I wish I would have saw that sooner though. Add the numbers with x, (x by itself is understood to be 1 in front of it) and then add the numbers without X in front together. Substract the numbers without x on both sides to make sure x is by itself, then divide numbers with x on both sides. And you get what X equals... that shit has been drilled IN TO MY FUCKING BRAIN for like 3 YEARS so I apologize for anyone who read the above^ I can't get it out of my head....fml
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."

Submitted by Kisa on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:41am.

Kobe lover - she's hanging on to Randy cuz underneath that long black gown she's got her hammocks crossed over and can't stand up plus add to that she's top heavy.

M. K. - how are you feeling this morning hon ?

"DuFrane party of two. DuFrane party of two. Bush party of three.
Yeah but , what happened to the DuFranes ?!?!?!?!?!?!? "
- Mitch Hedberg 1968 - 2005.

"If it were socially acceptable I would esconce myself in velvet. " George Costanza

Submitted by notreallyworking on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:40am.

there is absolutely nothing appealing about minaj a twat. she should thank her lucky stars for whatever PR firm said... hmmm... screw it! we are gonna do this! or she has an inroad. I am glad she is experiencing success, milk it for as long as you can.

just my fucked up opinion.

"Just look at all the fucks I give!"

"Pete... I just wanted to jump on and tell you I'm really glad you're doin' okay."

"Is your name Michael Diamond?" "Naw, mine's Clarence..."

Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:37am.

Submitted by cocoebert on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 1:02pm.

hahahahhaah!

**************************************************************

Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012

Submitted by little_rascal on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:36am.

Oh no, MK is sick?
MK darling, take good care of yourself and feel better!

+++++++++++++++++++
Submitted by Migraineuse on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:22pm.
All females belong to the sex class; they are subhuman buckets for male incontinence.

Submitted by cocoebert on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:32am.

I was told there'd be no math.

Submitted by KobeLover on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:29am.

She looks absolutely ridiculous. And why in the world is she holding on to Randy Jackson for support? Is she afraid she'll tip over?

Submitted by ThreeWolf4Life on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:26am.

Dear Mariah, You are not serving the glamour I expect from you. You look a bedraggled mess. Girl, get it together!

Submitted by kikichanelconspiracy on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:25am.

UBF - when I solved for x using your equation (add together 105+105+5=215, subtract from 360, add the 2x to the 1x and divide by 3 to isolate the x and solve it). X should equal 48.333 or 48 1/3.

DERP. IV beat me to it.
***************
It hurts because you let your black heart beat for an asshole who can't even send you a "P.S. I'm about to fuck a hole that doesn't belong to you" text before fucking said hole that doesn't belong to you.

Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:12am.

You're welcome UBF! I can't math but I can google!

Submitted by Hekki on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:09am.

Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart: "105 +105+ 2x+5+x=360, but it comes out wrong once i solve it. HELP!!"

AAARGHHH! There is no place for the devil's arithmetic here. Get thee behind me, Satan!

Algebra is scurrry!

Submitted by kikichanelconspiracy on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:10am.

the Blues Brothers is on HBO right now. 'So Jake. You're out. You're free. You're rehabilitated. What's next? What's happening? What's new? You got the money you owe us, motherfucker?" HAHAA. Love this movie.

I love Mimi. She's ridiculous as hell, but at least she owns it. Agree with others about a big part of her problem is she doesn't dress for her age or the body she has now.

LOL over the 'Daily Mail' saying Nicole Kidman is going 'method' acting by dressing classy. When HASN'T Kidman dressed classy? Love the white pant suit she's wearing in the link.
***************
It hurts because you let your black heart beat for an asshole who can't even send you a "P.S. I'm about to fuck a hole that doesn't belong to you" text before fucking said hole that doesn't belong to you.

Submitted by Juniperjump on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 10:56am.

Look at this stuff from the DM.

FIrstly - the Kidman five head --- shudder...

And secondly, WTF is going on with the TRavoltas? Please don't tell me they are about to have another baby?!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2261603/Nicole-Kidman-looks...

Submitted by johnloveskw on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 10:29am.

God, how I hate that heifer!

I remember about a decade or so ago there were some intimate family photos published of Screaming Mimi and her nieces and nephew and there she was, twisting herself about in a hilarious attempt to get only her right side photographed, no matter how awkward the photos came out.

As for those watermelon stand she's got on her chest, hasn't ANYONE in her realm of fantasy land ever told her they make her look like a tub 'o lard??? And WHEN will that bitch start dressing her age????

Goodness knows I'm no fan of Minaj but Mariah really sickens me. She's little more than some marginally-talented floozy who slept her way into a recording contract and has inexplicably hung on, like a bad case of crabs.

Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 10:18am.

IV, thanks!! The kicker is i had that, but when i double-checked, i added it wrong. DERP. Gotta love Dlisted!!!

Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 10:05am.

UBF: Does this help???

http://www.algebra.com/algebra/homework/word/geometry/Geometry_Word_Prob...

Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 9:59am.

I need help, cause I am sitting here looking like an idiot. My kid`s homework is the following: Two angles of a quadrilateral each measure 105 degrees. A third angle measures 5 degrees more than twice the fourth angle. What is x, the measure of the fourth angle of the quadrilateral?
I m starting:
105 +105+ 2x+5+x=360, but it comes out wrong once i solve it. HELP!!

Submitted by woodhorse on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 9:50am.

oooooooooohhhh love to Christine the Hoff - hope you are having a terrific New Year

Submitted by chaka1 on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 9:40am.

Everything Nicki said didn't make any sense. Looking like we have another inarticulate intellectual.

Submitted by TexnDoc on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 9:12am.

<"Submitted by zomay on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 3:40am.
To spend a lifetime considering only half your face is worthy of attention is a wasted lifetime.">

Not to mention when you're famous for only wanting to be photographed from the left like Streisand and powerful enough to get your way in a film, it's irritating for the audience. Remember even on two Oprah appearances, Babs had to (unusual for the show) sit to the right of her.

Submitted by Hekki on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 9:06am.

Submitted by zomay: "To spend a lifetime considering only half your face is worthy of attention is a wasted lifetime."

Yes. Well said.

Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 8:53am.

Submitted by Kisa on Sat, 01/12/2013 - 11:10pm.

"Yeah but , what happened to the DuFranes ?!?!?!?!?!?!? "
____________________________________

They are in the back of someone's trunk with tape over their mouthes and they are HUNGRY! That is a double whammy!

Submitted by WWJDFAKB on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 8:35am.

Sadly, I'm aware of the better side of my face. Not that I would go out of my way to make sure nobody sees the less cuter side.

I do agree with whoever said that Nicki can be striking when she's not trying too hard. Less is more, both Nicki and Mariah could benefit from that.

---------------------------------------
What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?

If you believe in yourself, drink your school, stay in drugs, and don't do milk.

Submitted by christine the hoff on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 8:23am.

gooddaydlisters

Submitted by cocoebert on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 7:16am.

Feel better, MK. We need you for the hot mess golden globes tonight!!

Submitted by Thamar on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 7:11am.

"she's ugly on both sides..." ha ha lady Crap ga :)

Submitted by LisaRose on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 6:53am.

I'm surprised Mariah didn't demand that positioning of these people be reversed. If she did and they shot her down, you just know this is going to be her first and last year on Idol!

_______________________

www.dungeonhordes.com

_______________________

Submitted by chinchilla on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 6:24am.

i see Mimi brought the twins.

Submitted by woodhorse on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 5:35am.

Thank you Dog! also should note (from the website you provided)-----------"All versions of Java 7 through update 10 are affected. Web browsers using the Java 7 plug-in are at high risk."---------I have Java 6 and so, luckily, was not affected

Submitted by Snarkley on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 5:12am.

I don't know if it's as much about her good side as it is about dissing the hell out of Nicki whatsherface.

Submitted by kylimayrow on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 5:04am.

Comparing the Fraggles with Nikki Minwhatever is an insult to the Fraggles! The Fraggles had depth or in other words were deep, Niki is surface! How much work does she have on her face? The woman looked like this at one point http://www.plastic-surgery-implants.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Nicki...

Wow, talk about loosing oneself ...

Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 3:17am.

every time i see or hear Mariah, i want to smack Tommy Mottola.

-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."

Submitted by kittymuffin on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 2:26am.

They both look like they got popped in the jaw.. ole school bus times

Submitted by zomay on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 2:10am.

To spend a lifetime considering only half your face is worthy of attention is a wasted lifetime.

....................

Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 2:02am.

Submitted by illuminaupolis on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:45am.

Didn't goatees go out of style in the nineties?
=================================

No. Some men look fantastic with a goatee. I know 2 men personally who have them, and they look great. I love it on them.

***********************************************
And when I set it free, like a feather it will be
And when I rise to see it done, like whatever it will be -it will be...