The Difficult Brown Crashed His Porsche Into A Wall Yesterday

File this under: Another metaphor for The Difficult Brown's life.

Four years ago, Chris Brown smashed RiRi's face into a car door the night before the Grammys and on this year's Grammy Eve, he smashed his Porsche's face into a wall. No lady faces were hurt this time. So that means Chris Brown is growing, right?

TMZ, The Los Angeles Times, Radar and everybody else says that Chris Brown was driving his Porsche to the Debbie Allen Dance Academy for the Symphonic Love Foundation event in L.A. yesterday when he claims two paparazzos cut him off, causing him to lose control and crash into a wall in an alley. The Difficult Brown's Porsche was totaled and his spokeswhore blamed it all on the paparazzi. But the owner of one photo agency tells TMZ that the paparazzi showed up to the scene after The Difficult Brown crashed his Porsche and no photographers were chasing him. The owner said that they weren't the reason why Chris Brown crashed his Porsche. So if the paparazzi aren't to blame, who is? My guess is that Chris Brown caught his Porsche peeping at his phone, so he really showed it by smashing its face into the wall.

And as Frank Ocean quietly cackles at the fact that Chris Brown has one less car to park in his parking space, Team Breezy is probably trying to make the hashtag #theporschedeservedit happen on Twitter.

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by WinterOwl22 on Mon, 02/11/2013 - 12:58am.

Where's the Panty Creamer of the Day tag? Not for me, but for the demented sluts that read and post on the D? : P

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I like to smile, smiling's my favorite! : )

The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!

Submitted by Kiwi chicklet on Mon, 02/11/2013 - 12:29am.

What a sullen asshole. You can just see it in him, he feels the world victimises him unfairly for his one 'little mistake', and he can't see what's the big deal - his girlfriend has gotten over it, why can't everyone else? Nice when you can see it all so black and white.

Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 10:00pm.

Chris Brown was driving his Porsche to the Debbie Allen Dance Academy for the Symphonic Love Foundation event in L.A. yesterday

I swear, every headline I read on this asshole gets gayer and gayer.

Submitted by soulfly16 on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 9:41pm.

Of course he got away unscathed this time as well?
Ugh. That Porsche disappoints me.

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Steven Tyler does White Oprah drag better than White Oprah does White Oprah drag. - MK

Submitted by jenweeks on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 8:15pm.

@ WithinReason... & SANS FARDS

Bless you for explaining that. It made my night lol.

Submitted by john jude on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 7:47pm.

such a shame that it wasn't a fatal crash. he is one worthless, talentless piece of shit. how long before he beats her ass again ? it's so easy to hate him.

Submitted by lislop on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 7:39pm.

He's losing control of his drug habit. He looks skeletal in some pics.

I predict he'll be one of those musicians who end up broke.

Submitted by feets on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 7:23pm.

Some kids never grow up.

Submitted by tojo on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 7:19pm.

Hahaha, he just keeps proving what a loser he is. That's your man Rihanna bwahahahaha..

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...the end

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 6:50pm.

Submitted by Bigbendy on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 6:24pm.
I'm watching the Grammies Red Carpet. Damn Chris Brown is looking guant. He needs a cheeseburger.

Plus, he has the cheek to show up dressed all in white. Disgusting.

(Hey you ♥)

Submitted by SANS FARDS on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 6:37pm.

Submitted by Bigbendy on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 6:24pm.
I'm watching the Grammies Red Carpet. Damn Chris Brown is looking guant. He needs a cheeseburger.

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Crack for breakfast, lunch and dinner doesn't do a body good. Who knew?

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A Lannister always pays his debts.

Submitted by CarrieOn on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 6:34pm.

Ha ha. That is all.

Submitted by friendtoallcats on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 6:32pm.

A-ha! Here is Fist Brown begging for support. http://www.youtube.com/watch?nomobile=1&v=IhqBK-QRdeA

Submitted by Bigbendy on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 6:24pm.

I'm watching the Grammies Red Carpet. Damn Chris Brown is looking guant. He needs a cheeseburger.

Submitted by friendtoallcats on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 5:41pm.

Fist Brown has earned all the scorn and derision he gets. Wasn't he begging people to buy his music not long ago?

Submitted by SouthernBabyDoll on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 5:35pm.

Man you guys are cold! XD lol I don't like Fisty Brown either, but I don't think the little prick deserves to die. Maybe a broken neck or arm. Or him getting beat up the same way he beat up RiRi. And are they sure he crashed his car, cause it doesn't even have a scratch on it. I remember when Eddie Griffin wrecked a car a few years back, and it was way worse than this.

Submitted by @Staxcellence on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 5:34pm.

Chris Brown should crash his Porsche into Kim and Kanye. Then I think everyone could call it even.

Submitted by ElleDouglas on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 5:27pm.

Sure the paps can be a problem for celebs and they need to police their own but COME ON! Chris Brown has never looked deep in his own soul and repented for beating up a woman (who he is once again nailing - whateva). He has serious anger and entitlement issues. I think he has talent and doesn't have to be a douchebag, but it's the path of least resistance.

Submitted by bornagainChristian on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 5:24pm.

One of your best posts ever MK.

Keep it up you funny bitch you.

PLEASE!

Submitted by Biht Chi Whon on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 5:19pm.

Hope Mr. Woman Beatin' Difficult Brown has good insurance.
He lives a very expensive and extravagant lifestyle, but his career is holding on by a thread. I wonder how many years it will be before he files for bankruptcy?

Submitted by Mani6 on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 5:18pm.

A self beat down might be the way to go with CB.

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If anyone is going to pee on him it's going to be me.- Nicole Kidman

Submitted by DianaDeath on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 4:46pm.

I lovelovelove how MK uses Sinead O'Connor's clever euphemism for anal sex as his name for Chris Brown!

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"If French is the language of love, then Spanish is the language of badassery!" -MK

Submitted by RichBitch on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 4:38pm.

Why can't this cunt just fucking die?

Submitted by Whamo on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 4:30pm.

They left out the part where he had his dick bit off cause some dude was giving him a blowjob when he hit the wall.

Submitted by blueangel on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 4:05pm.

This douche is an obvious drug addict. I hope he gets help before he kills an innocent person.

Submitted by Who Datt on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 3:55pm.

Co-sign that this is a "let's get the spotlight off of Ocean and on to me" stunt-queen move.

Submitted by Nicole on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 3:53pm.

I was excited by this article at first. Then I got to the part where he survived :(

Submitted by Who Datt on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 3:52pm.

Why doesn't he take a hint from The Fates/The Norns?Karma and just retire from the spotlight? I guess it would be too easy. After all, who would be then be to blame for his misfortunes other than himself?

Submitted by Parablesower on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 4:13pm.

It's like when legendary actress Tallulah Bankhead had to have an operation because her wild behavior led to several STDs. She barely survived, went down to 70 pounds and was quite ill.

Her words to the doctor, "Don't think this has taught me a lesson!"

This is Chris' mantra. Nearly dying in a car crash will not be enough. Trust.

Submitted by SANS FARDS on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 3:43pm.

jenweeks - "The Difficult Brown" is a quote from Sinead O'Connor, talking about her love of buttseckz:

http://www.dlisted.com/2011/08/26/nothing-compares-peen

(scroll down to the bottom)

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A Lannister always pays his debts.

Submitted by WithinReason... on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 3:43pm.

Submitted by jenweeks on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 3:34pm.
--
It may have been from something earlier but I believe it was from here:
http://dlisted.com/2011/08/26/nothing-compares-peen
LOL

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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Gardening Girl on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 3:42pm.

HA HA HA!...Fuck you!

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

Submitted by jenweeks on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 3:34pm.

I've only recently noticed Michael K calling Chris Brown 'the Difficult Brown.' Does anyone know where this name comes from? Did I miss a post explaining this nickname?

Thanks! :)

Submitted by REDMOND on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 3:31pm.

Too bad he survived.

Submitted by Furry-Hunk-Of-M... on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 3:15pm.

Just saw the pics on TMZ. It hardly looks totaled.

Submitted by Dirk Diggler on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 3:11pm.

At least nobody was hurt this time.

Submitted by joanne on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 3:07pm.

He wishes the paps where chasing him.

Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 3:03pm.

I read that earlier, I mean, fuck FistB, but the papz are notorious for shit like this, but I really gotta ask; papz or not how does one crash in to a wall in an alley? How fast was he going? Did the wall appear out of nowhere?...Also when they say totaled, I was not expecting that picture. I was expecting a mangled wreck he had to be cut out of, from what I saw, it looked salvageable, but I'm not a mechanic so *shrugs*
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"you chickens need to go back to the coup, you need to lay some fucking eggs and do your fucking job, you scrambled ass bitch!"-Shane Dawson

Submitted by veryoldbat on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 2:58pm.

Little boy crying in the background.. Kayne in Brazil.. No Grammys ?eyes closed?KK.. New name.. The hideous pink... In solidarity with the difficult brown.
http://www.zimbio.com/photos/Kim+Kardashian/Kim+Kardashian+Kanye+West+Ri...

Now is the time. You're not promised tomorrow. -PR

Submitted by cricket on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 2:56pm.

Let me guess,this douche walked away without a scratch. Too bad

Submitted by Hotmami on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 2:54pm.

I can't believe people still nominate this fool for awards.

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Every saint has a past and
Every sinner has a future

Submitted by WithinReason... on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 2:50pm.

MJT, my phone won't display that page of troglodyte KK, sadness and disappoint :(

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░

Submitted by dementa on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 2:48pm.

He must have some pact with the dark powers of pure evil, because we were THIS CLOSE to getting rid of the Difficult Brown, but he doesn't suffer a scratch. Fuck him.

And of course, it isn't Difficult Brown's fault! Just like it isn't his fault when he starts fights, throws furniture and beats women!

Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 2:36pm.
Holy fuck, she looks the same size as Jesus in that picture.

And is this useless pissed-on whore who's married to one man and knocked up by another trying to imply that she is in any way Jesus-like? That dude off to the left sums up my reaction perfectly.

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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

Submitted by Hotmami on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 2:44pm.

How does he still get nominated for Grammy's?!

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Every saint has a past and
Every sinner has a future

Submitted by iloveloureed on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 2:44pm.

He sure likes to blame everything and everyone for his misfortunes, doesn't he?

Submitted by Hotmami on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 2:43pm.

How does this douche still get nominated for anything?!

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Every saint has a past and
Every sinner has a future

Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 2:43pm.

MJT, Kim looks ENORMOUS in some of those photos. It is pretty funny.

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Oh, when you were a young boy, did you have a puppy, that always followed you around?
Well, I'm gonna be as faithful as that puppy
No, I'll never let you down