All Is Well In The Enchanted Forest Again

Almost two years ago, a dark cloud covered the Enchanted Forest and all the woodland creatures cried for days after their favorite Jolly Ukrainian Giant and the golden child of Rosie Cotton and Ernest J. Keebler broke up. But the dark clouds have cleared up and the woodland creatures are farting up rainbow-colored hearts again, because 5'2" Hayden Panettiere and 6'6" Wladimir Klitschko are back together again.

The other day, that human mountain of rock hard hotness Wladimir worked a hard stick on the ocean while Hayden walked her dog (which I'm assuming is a teacup mouse dog since she can pick it up) near his condo in Hollywood, FL. People says that after Wladimir impressed dolphin activist Hayden by head butting a killer shark until it dropped a dolphin from its mouth, he took her to the Taco Beach Shack near his condo. A source says that Wladimir and Hayden had 8 mahi mahi tacos, a Coke and a margarita, and he left a $20 tip on a $20 bill. (Yes, the REAL story here is that they got 8 mahi mahi tacos, a coke and a margarita for only $20!)

Hayden and Wladimir have always been one of my favorite couples. Nothing pleases me more like picturing her climb up his hood rock of a body for a kiss the same way a tiny, adorable monkey climbs up a palm tree for a coconut. When they take a shower together and she accidentally slips down the drain, he can scoop her out with his pinky finger. Hayden has to stretch for at least 4 hours and they have to use Pilates equipment when they try to 69. I am not ashamed to admit that I love their Jolly Green Giant and Little Sprout union. But I am really ashamed to admit that: a) I watch Nashville and; b) Hayden's my favorite thing about Nashville.

I felt an ugly kind of shame when I clicked "buy" after the iTunes pop-box asked me something like, “You are about to download the song 'Love Like Mine,' are you sure?"

Splash

Posted by: Michael K

•

Submitted by skabazzle on Sat, 02/23/2013 - 4:53pm.

I love Nashville too- and I may or may not have downloaded some of the duets between Charles Esten and Connie Britton/Hayden. Fun fact: he used to be on Whose Line too.

Submitted by ghost of gene r... on Fri, 02/22/2013 - 11:32am.

He's fug but he has a good body. I'd climb that.

Submitted by kylimayrow on Fri, 02/22/2013 - 4:18am.

Someone on here was asking if she ever dates guys that are closer to her height & yes she has, remember
Milo Ventimiglia?? Her costar on Heroes, I wanted to throw her into a sack! I had the hots for that guy, what happen to him?

Submitted by Pinkismyblack on Fri, 02/22/2013 - 3:31am.

Here's a juicy article from last year about some Hollywood ho business concerning Hayden and others.

http://jezebel.com/5892565/is-robert-downey-jr-spreading-insider-celeb-g...

Submitted by Pinkismyblack on Fri, 02/22/2013 - 3:11am.

Hell yes. I like this freakshow. Now MK can get back to jokes about her climbing ladders to jump on that man mountain.(Off to see what I can find about those S&M rumours.)
Side note: the documentary "Klitschko" is pretty interesting.

Also, CashewTime, maybe you're just over fun-size, because tall guys tend to love the little'uns.

Submitted by Ecce Homo on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 9:47pm.

Submitted by WithinReason... on Thu, 02/21/2013
"Ooooh, what a tasty pair they make. But it's obvious little Miss Pantyhairs has a giant man fetish."
But don't we ALL, WR?
(looks around nervously, did I say that out loud?)
Hi, Within!
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"She looks like if you fuck with her she'd put a stiletto through your jugular and then charge you for the shoe repair. My kind of woman." Foxxy Brown

Submitted by WithinReason... on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 8:50pm.

Ooooh, what a tasty pair they make. But it's obvious little Miss Pantyhairs has a giant man fetish. Does she ever date someone like Seth Green or RDJ? No. And until I see her do this: http://data.whicdn.com/images/29435735/couple-kiss-the-notebook-Favim.co... I'm unimpressed with that hip hugger's romantic liaisons.

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░

Submitted by applehead on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 8:29pm.

He's soo f'ing hot!

Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 8:16pm.

Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 3:52pm.

I'm right there with you, UBF! I go to the bar over 6' in heels and get all these little midget guys trying to hit on me, while all of the giant men I see are with very petite females....makes no sense.

Submitted by warmislandsun on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 8:11pm.

Nashville is the bomb; love that show. That Deacon guy is hawt. I didn't like that actor on The Office, but he does it for me as Deacon.

Hayden is really good on the show. And that tall guy she is with is very nice - yes, including his face. I like that eastern European look.

Submitted by loopygorilla on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 7:27pm.

hayden's best role was bring it on 3: all or nothing, starring oscar award winning actress solange knowles.

apart from that, he can pound me like a piece of veal.

i reckon you can off his wang, like its a towel rack.

Submitted by RandéSleepover on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 7:24pm.

Submitted by Honeybadger on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 7:10pm.

That said, the map is definitely to scale, if you catch my drift.

LOL. Never heard that before. Surely there are studies?

Submitted by loopygorilla on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 7:24pm.

Submitted by Honeybadger on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 7:10pm.

I don't get the big hubbub about their height difference. I'm 5'2" and my husband is 6'4" and my ex is 6'6". No one has ever made comments (at least not to my face) about the difference in our heights *shrugs*

That said, the map is definitely to scale, if you catch my drift.

---------------------

lol

Submitted by loopygorilla on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 7:20pm.

he would break me in half.

*tweed-ling with thumbs*

*hides smirk*

yeah i would.

BUT BUT don't judge me!

Submitted by Honeybadger on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 7:10pm.

That said, the map is definitely to scale, if you catch my drift.

Educate yourself on the badass, not-fuck-giving honeybadger, Olivia! ~MK

Submitted by Esteem on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 6:53pm.

I've read the blinds about her liking the rough sex and/or BDSM also. Whatever floats your boat as long as it's safe, sane and consensual. I'll guess we'll see if there are forthcoming pics with her showing/hiding bruises, like the ones taken on that yacht trip a few years ago.

Submitted by sushi on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 6:50pm.

He FUCKING HOT. Always has been. Hayden has good taste.

Submitted by TrashyWilma on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 6:48pm.

Isn't this the same Blind Item couple where she demanded he beat the shit out of her and he was terrified he was going to kill her?
Well, at least she gets what she wants.

Submitted by idiots drive me loco on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 4:51pm.

I would do unspeakable things to his brother

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
What was Pimp Mama Kris going to say? That Daniel Craig worked to get the career he has while the Kardashians' fame was handed to them on a glove that didn't fit?--MK

Submitted by DianaDeath on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 4:31pm.

Am I the only one who's completely grossed out by this shit?

****************************************
"If French is the language of love, then Spanish is the language of badassery!" -MK

Submitted by bourgie on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 4:27pm.

Hayden's ok with me. She's one of the young successful celebs who isn't falling down drunk, looking like shit, drinking sizzurp or tweeting pretentious crap about how grown she is. I love Nashville. That show beats Smash anyday. Happpy that things are working out great career wise for Hayden as well as romantically.

Submitted by Ecce Homo on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 4:05pm.

It's kinda cool reading some nice comments about her here (for so long on D all I heard were rather harsh opinions and I've always found her adorable).

And she is consistently the best part of most of the shows and movies she's appeared in (sharing that honor with Neve in Scream 4).

She once gracefully alluded to the mechanics of getting-er-horizontal with the big, sexy galoot...apparently they manage just fine...

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"She looks like if you fuck with her she'd put a stiletto through your jugular and then charge you for the shoe repair. My kind of woman." Foxxy Brown

Submitted by bambam on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 4:04pm.

Submitted by tempokat on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 3:22pm.
Submitted by bambam on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 2:59pm.

...that BDSM crap.
**************************

*side-eye*

"Crap" is an awfully broad brush with which to be painting there. I don't just get a kink in my neck from sleeping crooked.
--------------------------------------------

Well you can look it up, you'll have to do some digging though. It was an off shoot of claims by Corey Feldman regarding sexual abuse and some notorious hwood producer got mentioned. Same guy who said he wanted to work with the girl from the Harry Potter movies. This was a while ago. I can't find it because I can't remember the guy's name and I'm not inclined to search it out. It is out there though.

**************
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgQ-QrCFMjs

Submitted by anonymous7643 on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 4:01pm.

I think she has a very beautiful face. Nice feminine features and perfect skin. He is hot, I don't care about the face. I hate pretty boy faces anyway (ryan gosling e.g. so doesn't do it for me).

When ever I see epics of her though, I think of that blind item that said her dad is abusive, and she is into abusive foreplay and uh.. getting paid.

Submitted by Bigbendy on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 3:53pm.

I would love to climb all over that body but when I got to the face.....ahhhhhhnoooooo

Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 3:52pm.

6 foot 6? How come my tall ass can't run into men like that? That being said , he doesn't do it for me and I have zero opinion on her other than wanting to know more about the kinky foreplay .

Submitted by agirl on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 3:50pm.

Submitted by NeverEclipsed on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 3:16pm.
Once he's done breaking her in half I'd like a turn please.

---------

Which one of them do you want a turn with? You must be specific with your requests on Dlisted, dammit!

Submitted by Lisbet459 on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 3:46pm.

Submitted by Bossy on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 3:14pm.

I know we're all thinking about the mechanics of these two having a night in. I mean he's a giant and she's a midget and things are generally proportional soooo....
================

It can work very well. He just has to be very, very generous with the foreplay so that there's enough, er, room.

You're welcome. ;)

Submitted by agirl on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 3:47pm.

He is HWAT. She is undeserving.

ETA - the only thing I would change about him is to unshave the chest hair. Also I would like to see pics of his [ahem]. Close-up, hi-def and at attention, thankyouverymuch.

Submitted by FreakGeek on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 3:34pm.

I watch Nashville & it's a good show, but why do they keep showing new episodes every other week, as opposed to every week? It's like they want to be canceled because nobody knows when the damn show will be on.

Submitted by boredashell on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 3:34pm.

That man is a beast! And I'd hit it -- all 5'2" of me! Go Hayden!

Submitted by johnnysgirl on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 3:32pm.

Submitted by tempokat on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 3:22pm.

Submitted by bambam on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 2:59pm.

...that BDSM crap.
**************************

*side-eye*

"Crap" is an awfully broad brush with which to be painting there. I don't just get a kink in my neck from sleeping crooked.
---------------------------------------

Tempokat, I HEART you! (and your avie too)

Submitted by CashewTime. on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 3:26pm.

How do these super short HWood girls get such tall men? JSimpson, Eva Longoria... I'm a couple of inches taller, and I mostly get the ones my height. I need to learn to walk in heels or some shit.

Submitted by que cochina on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 3:40pm.

It's hilarious reading the confessions of we closeted (yup, myself included) Nashville watchers! And I agree with MK, I love Hayden in it!

Submitted by CashewTime. on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 3:24pm.

Submitted by LaChaylo on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 3:18pm.

Don't worry, you're from Texas; we're allowed to watch that shit.

Submitted by tempokat on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 3:22pm.

Submitted by bambam on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 2:59pm.

...that BDSM crap.
**************************

*side-eye*

"Crap" is an awfully broad brush with which to be painting there. I don't just get a kink in my neck from sleeping crooked.

Submitted by Paquita on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 3:19pm.

I watch/like Nashville too
(hides shame face)

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!

Submitted by LaChaylo on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 3:18pm.

I admit. I watch Nashville.

And I like it.

*bows head in shame*

Submitted by ThreeWolf4Life on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 3:17pm.

I think she is a little hottie!

Submitted by NeverEclipsed on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 3:16pm.

Once he's done breaking her in half I'd like a turn please.

Submitted by Bossy on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 3:14pm.

I know we're all thinking about the mechanics of these two having a night in. I mean he's a giant and she's a midget and things are generally proportional soooo....

Submitted by Cowjam on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 3:14pm.

The most interesting thing I got from this is that I googled mahi-mahi tacos. And yes, I want the name and address of that restaurant!

Submitted by saltydog on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 3:09pm.

Submitted by lilolme on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 2:26pm.

I read a blind item one time at "CDAN" after they broke up that was supposedly about him and her. It said she was all kinds of messed up and he broke up with her because she enjoyed being beat as foreplay and he was afraid he was going to kill her.
-------------------------------------------------

I remember that too and it makes sense didn't she also date that tool Milo Ventimiglia who supposedly roughed up Rory Gilmore a few times when they dated. He was like 24 and she was 19 at the time, then a few years later when he was 30 he was dating Hayden when she was 17.

Submitted by Capitanne on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 3:01pm.

5'2" my ass. She is 4'10" at best. I once saw a picture of Fishsticks Poultry standing next to Kim Catrell, the tall one from Sex and the City and she towered over her making Samantha Jones 5'4" at best. SJP is in under 5' crowd.

Submitted by bambam on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 2:59pm.

Submitted by lilolme on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 2:26pm.

---------------------------------------------

Yeah, I remember reading a couple of articles about the underground Hollywood sex scene that hinted Hayden was a play for pay participant who loved it rough, that BDSM crap.

**************
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgQ-QrCFMjs

Submitted by suckandfuck on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 2:49pm.

Submitted by lilolme on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 2:26pm.

Go on...

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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.

Submitted by carefreea on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 2:48pm.

Bahaha, I just had a feeling Michael watched Nashville. I think it's great, personally, especially in the last couple of episodes but I also watch Smash, albeit hating everything non-Ivy or Tom.

Unfortunately, Hayden has always reminded me of my cousin who's a trampy tart so she irritates me. Irrational, I know, but true.

********
"In other news, the University of Color Me Surprised released a report today which states that water is indeed wet. Mind. Boggled" - Michael K, who else?

Submitted by TOPANGA on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 2:47pm.

Sorry, but I was actually glad to hear that Diane Lane and Josh Brolin are divorcing. She seemed way too good for him and he allegedly laid the smack down on her once or twice, so F-him. Divorce Party!.
_______________________________
"I was half a virgin when I met him!"

-Mean Girl,Regina George