January Jones Strikes Again?

Miley Cyrus is sharpening her chipmunk teeth on a rock and Tish Cyrus is dipping her hooves in glue and glass, because they're coming for Liam Hemsworth that dick-stealing ice cold hussy harlot January Jones!

Miley's betrothed Liam Hemsworth went to a pre-Oscar party at Chateau Marmont on Saturday night and Star (via Radar) says that he was all over January Jones. Miley wasn't with him at the time or we'd probably be reading about how January was seen running down the driveway of Chateau Marmont as a rabid, foaming-at-the-mouth chipmunk chased after her.

A witness type says that party guests were all clutching their Tampax pearls while watching Liam and January get close. They weren't even trying to hide it and the witness said that they had some "hot chemistry." The witness type went on to say that they were all over each other and even kissed lips at one point.

At the end of the night, January and Liam got into the back seat of the same car and drove away together.

There are a million explanations for this. Maybe Miley and Liam broke up? Maybe Miley and Liam have one of those open relationship and she lets him dip his tongue in frozen twats and he lets her dip her tongue in twats? Maybe January Jones is a serious environmentalist and insists on carpooling to save money on gas? Maybe this eyewitness type was snorting that Lohan powder and had no idea what they were seeing, because it's kind of impossible for human icicle January Jones to have "hot" chemistry with anyone.

But then again, the magic phrase that opens up January's legs is, "You do know I have a fiancee (or wife), right?"

Since Sienna Miller is busy being a boring family woman now, somebody has to be Hollywood's premiere home wrecker and it might as well be January Jones.

FameFlynet

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by kiwikim on Sat, 03/02/2013 - 7:22pm.

Explain the pants to me? Built in camel toe is a hot designer thing now?

Why hasn't JJ hooked up with the anaconda that is her co-star yet?

Submitted by kathleenvh on Thu, 02/28/2013 - 11:31am.

Submitted by Craigypants on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 5:56pm.

Who can blame him. Miley is all bags of crazy for thinking a young, hot guy like Liam isn't going to pass his dick around Hollywood at his age. There is more chance of being hit by a comet than these 2 staying together forever.

IA!

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Just hit the mute button or turn your ears into vaginas (aka fold them over each other) -MK
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I can probably fit 10 dicks up my ass, but that doesn't make it right -MK re:Michelle Duggar
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Submitted by kathleenvh on Thu, 02/28/2013 - 11:24am.

I don't find january jones attractive at all

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Just hit the mute button or turn your ears into vaginas (aka fold them over each other) -MK
*
I can probably fit 10 dicks up my ass, but that doesn't make it right -MK
***

Submitted by Mel-Tang on Thu, 02/28/2013 - 9:01am.

Pfftt.. just another orchestrated stunt in the cesspool that is Hollyweird.

Miley is the covergirl for Cosmo this month, so I'm sure they needed to try and drum up some interest in her.

* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *

www.poopreport.com :)

<3-------------------------------<3

RIMADYL KILLS

Submitted by Miss_Ann_Thrope on Thu, 02/28/2013 - 7:07am.

Hmmm - same 'user name' (sans underscores). Different brain though.
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Submitted by MissAnnThrope on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 2:23pm.

January Jones and this Liam dude were just hooking up. This is just about the sex. It happens. Liam being engaged or whatever to Miley--- this should never have come to be. She's way too young. Very few couples stay together when they get together so young. You just change way too much as you mature. You aren't the same person at 40 as you are at 20. Honestly, people get really sick of each other I think. There ARE people who do stay married for like 60 years, but, sadly, I don't think this is a rule. Then you throw Hollyweird into the plot--you KNOW this relationship had a very short expiration date. Most celebrities live in a world that seems to enable, justify and encourage amoral behavior. They're always cheating, divorcing, remarrying, getting DUI's, being busted for drugs, domestic violence, going broke, being sued, losing custody of their kids, dying, killing or being killed. Keep your money and your fame. Miley needs to move back to Kentucky, or wherever it is she's from and live a happy life with all that money she made as a Disney girl.

Submitted by literarylioness on Thu, 02/28/2013 - 2:13am.

I can't believe you posters are feeling sorry for Miley. It's Miley for pete's sake. She is beyond annoying. I'm surprised Liam hasn't punctured his eardrums from just listening to her. Her family sure doesn't help either.

Usually I'm against cheating, but in this case, Liam should be sticking his thing anything else but Miley.

As far as breaking up with Miley, she probably doesn't let him. She probably keeps snapping gum in his ear.

Submitted by Anita Bidet on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 9:47pm.

YES. I feel bad for Miley. How humiliating. What does January Jones have? Awful actress, no charisma, shady pregnancy, too self-serious. Miley might be annoying but at least she has a goddamn personality.

*******

Feel bad for Miley? didn't you know she stole him from another girl who had been engaged to him? she gets what she deserves

Submitted by WithinReason... on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 9:46pm.

Forget Liam, WHO is that sizzling piece January is making "hot chemistry" with in thumb two!?

"dick-stealing ice cold hussy harlot" -- YASS, that's business card gold right there MK.

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Dlisted is a finalist! http://2013.bloggi.es/ Voting closes March 17.

Submitted by Mani6 on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 9:30pm.

If I was a Hollywood star, I would never get married and would be trying to bang everything in site...I'm shallow like that.

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If anyone is going to pee on him it's going to be me.- Nicole Kidman

Submitted by bourgie on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 8:37pm.

Seems like the smaller pre & post Oscar parties were the ones to be at cause some interesting things have been coming out drop by drop about the goings on

Submitted by princesspoppy on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 8:06pm.

MK - this made me laugh and I really needed it. Thank you.

"we'd probably be reading about how January was seen running down the driveway of Chateau Marmont as a rabid, foaming-at-the-mouth chipmunk chased after her."

Submitted by princesspoppy on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 8:05pm.

Submitted by saltydog on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 3:29pm.
wow how does a 23-year-old cheat on his 20-year-old billionaire fiance with a 35-year-old mom?
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Submitted by Esteem on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 7:40pm.

Never cared much for the Liam/Miley coupling, seemed like PR to me. Regardless, if there's a commitment/promise of any sort, hands off January.

Submitted by Um...what on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 7:38pm.

First, there is no doubt in my mind Liam would cheat on Miley. What I don't get is why in public? The sources that claimed they kissed and then a photo of them sharing a car? I realize sharing a car w/ someone isn't scandelous...but this is JJ he's with! Why would he be so out there with all this...

Submitted by IluvDuranDuran on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 7:23pm.

This chick is BEYOND overrated. I would be so embarrassed to have a married man's baby who could care less...and loser Bobby Flay at that!

Submitted by dementa on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 6:49pm.

She really is a shit actress. I saw her in X-Men First Class, and one internet reviewer accurately described her as being a chandelier with boobs. The only reason she wasn't the worst is because Zoe Kravitz was in the movie.

Also, those pants make her look pregnant again.

*********

I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

Submitted by idiots drive me loco on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 6:28pm.

so we can add skinnyfat to the Jana list of hoes who hook up with people in relationships. Classy.

January Jones must be able to suck a pingpong ball through a hose, because she is a worse actress than sullengirl kstew

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
What was Pimp Mama Kris going to say? That Daniel Craig worked to get the career he has while the Kardashians' fame was handed to them on a glove that didn't fit?--MK

Submitted by ScarfnBarf on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 5:58pm.

More importantly WTF is she wearing? Is that a maxi pad shoved upside her frontal crotch to keep the camels at bay?

Submitted by Craigypants on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 5:56pm.

Submitted by kissingassandcu... on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 5:55pm.

Oh It's ONNN! lolol
I would do JJ over MC anyday.
I feel u bro lol!
And being smitten with Emily Watson? I dont get that. Maybe Im thinking of someone else. I have to look her up!

Kissing Ass and Cupping Balls. You're Welcome.

Submitted by chippychazoo on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 4:51pm.

Her baby looks just like Jason sudeikis.

Submitted by the original be... on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 4:36pm.

buttercuppery - It has been the subject of much speculation. I'm pretty much sticking with Bobby Flay as the father (remember the suspicious accident JJ had after partying at a game with BF; where she called him - prior to leaving the scene to go home, shower, and then return to the scene - and he SHOWED UP?), and lemmetellya, you could've knocked me over with a feather when I read HE was married to Stephanie March!

Submitted by Mayo on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 4:12pm.

I wouldn't call January a homewrecker, Liam and Miley's relationship is so stupid that it would actually be a good thing if it ended.

And being with January is a MAJOR upgrade, Miley is fug.

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"If I can't be my own, i'd feel better dead"- Nutshell

Submitted by Bizzarelife on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 3:45pm.

Submitted by Hotmami on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 12:58pm.
Submitted by blaase on Wed, 02/27/2013 -12:45pm.

I have told my boyfriend specifically that if he EVER, EVER, EVER gets caught cheating, he will lose his precious genitals. He knows I am serious, and he knows I have an extremely bad temper. I have requested that if he wants out of our relationship, he tells me. Otherwise, if I ever catch even a whif of cheating, his ass is grass.

He has been faithful to me for almost eight years. He really isn't the cheating type. He has thought about it, probably stared at other chicks, etc. Whatever. I do the same with guys.

Submitted by crazyinjapan on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 3:36pm.

If you ask me, Miley's hair disaster was probably the straw that broke the camel's back in this relationship. JFC, that 'do is wretched.

Although JJ's hair is pretty bad in these photos. Is hairspray making a comeback?

Submitted by saltydog on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 3:29pm.

wow how does a 23-year-old cheat on his 20-year-old billionaire fiance with a 35-year-old mom?

Submitted by britmachine on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 3:28pm.

Who the hell is she hugging in the olive drab colored jacket with the beard?

Submitted by buttercuppery on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 3:26pm.

She looks like wicker lawn furniture or a string sculpture in those pants. Crazy. And am I to understand that she and Bobby Flay (who I think is just a total ass) made that there behbeh she had not long ago?

I cannot believe he is married to the Law & Order chick. She seems cool. Bobby Flay is a flaming turd.

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Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps. ~ Emo Phillips

Submitted by Tick on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 3:06pm.

1st: Those fucking pants?!?
How could you even flirt with a woman wearing those pants?!?

2nd: Hollywood is full of douche's with no self control.
I call this story true based simply on that.

Submitted by crazyinjapan on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 3:00pm.

Submitted by Hotmami on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 12:58pm.

Submitted by blaase on Wed, 02/27/2013 -12:45pm.

Women are seriously Naive if they think their men don't fuck other people (once in a while) behind their back.

Even my nicest friends do it, and I know my dad did before he and my mom got divorced, it just happens.

Um. No. Men are perfectly capable of faithfulness. As are former cheaters. I don't agree with the whole once a Chester, always a cheater thing.
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I agree with you, Hotmami. I think that most men are good people. I think that most women are good people, too. I think there are fewer people who cheat than there are people who are faithful.

And I knew this guy and Miley were not going to get married. Miley's way too young. This situation was inevitable.

Submitted by Cake666 on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 2:48pm.

w t f is with those pants???????

"HOdor"

Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 2:46pm.

Submitted by MizRo on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 1:53pm.
Jones' baby daddy is none other than Bobby Flay who is a very-married man.

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January hasn't revealed the identify of her baby's father. Flay is just one of several it could be.

Submitted by chinchilla on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 2:42pm.

@MizRo
thanks, i was wondering who the father was. dang Bobby Flay!

Submitted by SANS FARDS on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 2:35pm.

Did anyone think he and Miley were ever actually going to tie the knot? yeah okay. One does not simply marry into the Cyrus family.....

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A Lannister always pays his debts.

Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 2:34pm.

Submitted by Daniee on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 2:15pm.

These two are just discussing an upcoming film. According to Lainey, who is a major cunt but usually gets her award circuit stories right, he was smitten with Emma Watson.

a ha! -- "growing out hair" "franchise actress" -- yaaasssss! thank you! i can accept this version ...

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

Submitted by spattr on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 2:34pm.

Who isn't smitten with Emma Watson? But she has a 40 point IQ advantage on the Hemsworth boys, so that would never work out.

Submitted by CokeyBloke on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 2:33pm.

Fuck, Whamo! Crotch fruit?! That's hilarious!

Submitted by spattr on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 2:31pm.

I think the fundamental question applies here. Fundamental guy question: January Jones - Would you? The answer being Yes, what else is there to know?

Submitted by MissAnnThrope on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 2:23pm.

Submitted by mike on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 2:22pm.

Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 2:20pm.

For people in them thar hills or whatever. People for whom life stops being fun early.

Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 2:20pm.

Submitted by mike on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 2:17pm.

Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 1:49pm.
Submitted by mike on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 1:39pm.

Submitted by chinlee3 on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 1:19pm.
Maybe both he and Miley are too young to be even thinking about getting hitched!

Totally.
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Are you kidding Miley's mountain folk, if she ain't done birthed out a few childrens by the time she's 14 she done be spinster!

Well yeah, for her cousins and people of that ilk, it's fine. But Miley's life is different. She has the wherewithal to have fun, and marriage shouldn't figure into that equation if you're under, say, twent-eight or so.
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it's OK for her cousins, whaaat? lol!

Submitted by mike on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 2:17pm.

Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 1:49pm.
Submitted by mike on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 1:39pm.

Submitted by chinlee3 on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 1:19pm.
Maybe both he and Miley are too young to be even thinking about getting hitched!

Totally.
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Are you kidding Miley's mountain folk, if she ain't done birthed out a few childrens by the time she's 14 she done be spinster!

Submitted by Daniee on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 2:15pm.

These two are just discussing an upcoming film. According to Lainey, who is a major cunt but usually gets her award circuit stories right, he was smitten with Emma Watson.

Submitted by annobanano on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 2:11pm.

Submitted by TrashyWilma on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 1:41pm.
If they were in an actual, healthy relationship, he wouldn't have been at that party by himself.

Miley may be too young to know better, but if you're famous you only fuck people as attractive and famous as yourself. You date or marry uglier, less succesful people. Christina had the right idea with Bat Boy. You think his homely ass ever cheated on her?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Really? I do stuff without Mr Banano A LOT. And we're cool. In fact, it may be key to our healthy relationship. And whether or not Bat Boy cheated, their marriage still failed.

Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 2:09pm.

Submitted by sushi on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 2:02pm.

First of all, healthy relationships don't require full time togetherness. People actually can go to parties and other social engagements without fucking everything that moves.

i was completely "WTF?" at the original comment -- so if there is a scheduling conflict i guess the person who is available and wants to go to the party has to stay home or they are going to lose their healthy relationship, lol

also agree with the rest of your comment

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

Submitted by sushi on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 2:02pm.

Submitted by TrashyWilma on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 1:41pm.
If they were in an actual, healthy relationship, he wouldn't have been at that party by himself.

• report abuse

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Are you fucking serious?

First of all, healthy relationships don't require full time togetherness. People actually can go to parties and other social engagements without fucking everything that moves.

Second of all, your assertion that the correct mate for the successful person is someone who is homely is flawed for many reasons. For one, the couple in question is divorced. Secondly, ugly people cheat too.