FREE THE HAMMACONDA!
The Hammaconda is living the life. It gets to hang out Jon Hamm all the time, it gets to get hand hugged by Jon Hamm regularly, it gets to go shopping, it gets to go to Hawaii and most important of all it gets to do all of that while not being suffocated in a pair of tight white chonies. But the evil, huge peen-hating executives at AMC (stands for A Motherfucking Cockhater) want to change all that. They're saying that Jon Hamm's free falling crotch snake has become distracting and they want him to put on some panties. They just won't let Jon Hamm's big dick be great. Cock blocking bitches.
A source tells the NYDN that Don Draper's pants have become a little more fitted this season, so there's nowhere for the Hammaconda to hide. The source says that when they shot in Hawaii and Jon Hamm had to wear tiny shorts, his cervix-cracking peen really came out to play and it made the whole crew giggle. They also had to Photoshop his bulge away in all of the promo posters for the new season. The source went on to say this shit:
“This season takes place in the 1960s, where the pants are very tight and leave little to the imagination. Jon’s impressive anatomy is so distracting that they politely insisted on underwear. His privates are the inside joke. [He] knows what he’s got.”
When the NYDN asked Jon Hamm's rep about this act of injustice against his big dick, they didn't laugh and said that everybody needs to grow up and stop acting like 12-year-olds.
“It is ridiculous and not really funny at all. I’d appreciate you taking the high road and not resorting to something childish like this that’s been blogged about 1,000 times.”
Oh, please. I'm sure Jon Hamm's rep has close-up pictures of the Hammaconda wallpapered on every wall of their powder room like the rest of us do. But really, AMC can try to tame Jon Hamm's Mt. Everest bulge, but it's not going to happen. They can bind it down, they can wrap a frozen condom around it and they can even show it a picture of Kim Kardashian's chocha to make it scurry between Jon Hamm's legs, but eventually it will rise above and be seen. What I'm saying is that Jon Hamm's huge dick has outgrown Mad Men and needs its own show.
Or the executives of AMC can just give Jon's schlong its own dressing room so it has somewhere to hang out while he's shooting scenes. And yes, that's your cue to put a sign that reads "The Hammaconda's Dressing Room" above your mouth.
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it's not about how it looks, it's about how it makes you feel
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Its just my opinion my minions...
This guy must've been a hit when he was hopping around for a male agent.
" "The Hammaconda's Dressing Room" above your mouth." - *dies*
*looks for markers and construction paper*
Team leave the Hammaconda alone already!
"A Motherfucking Cockhater"s ;P
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Free Hamms hammer!!! we love it
xoxox
The war isn't working.
Come on is it really that big.
*defogging glasses*
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"Other than her belly, which is rather flat, every other part of her body has ballooned. And this is Kim holding to a strict diet. Imagine if she let herself go?" Joan Kardashian (Kim K's aunt) (HAHAHAHAHA)
Foxxy -- hey, honey!
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
"Two eyes, two eyebrows."
I do think that little hint of a tan line is really sexy haha
How can any woman be lesbian when there are so many cocks in the world?
(just kidding, I know it's not a choice)
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Jeg er norsk.
Goddamned double-standards!
Submitted by MissAnnThrope on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 1:28pm.
So am I really to believe that his hammaconda is really that big? I mean he's just not wearing underwear right? shove everything you got over to the right, don't wear underoos and presto you have hammaconda. I call false advertising until proven otherwise
noted Dlisted peenologist Dr. Loopy Diddums Gorilla vehemently argued your point of view when this photo was released last year
Hi Twatty!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
This guy is just as pathetic as Anne Hathaway, Paris Hilton, Demi Moore and others like them that are so desperate for attention that they will do anything to get it. The only difference is that he hasn't flashed his privates like they have; instead he wears tight pants with no underwear to highlight what he considers to be his "asset." So pathetic.
Submitted by itsthebritneybitch on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:08pm.
I'm going to say from experience that just because a man has a huge shlong, doesn't mean he knows how to use it. ;)
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AGREED!
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"I swear, sometimes good dick is a thing of evil. It blurs your vision and screws with your brain.- MK, 01/17/13
Dawn Davenport -- both Jon Hamm and John Slattery are my lovers. The two of them make "Mad Men." And the guys have Christina Hendricks and January Jones, who actually looks pretty on the show but not IRL. I won't mention Jessica Pare because I think she's fugalicious.
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
"Two eyes, two eyebrows."
The fish in the bikini is hideous and OLD.
Vomit time.
So am I really to believe that his hammaconda is really that big? I mean he's just not wearing underwear right? shove everything you got over to the right, don't wear underoos and presto you have hammaconda. I call false advertising until proven otherwise.
sorry, but after straining my eyes, I still see no Hammaconda in that bathing suit! guess the bad print hides it. fuck it. going commando down a NYC street is plenty for me. if I saw that flopping next to me, I'd grab it and starting crooning into its head...
Is Jon a homosexual?
We say: Yes
Discuss.
Still can't believe this nice dick gets to pound on that fugly bitch Jennifer Westfeldt.
How are you going to fight for some dick if you don't even know whether or not the dick is good? The dick might not even be worth getting into a Rock-Paper-Scissors fight over, let alone a fist fight. - MK
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:17pm.
I wonder what you ladies would be saying if this were someone like a John Mayer or an Ashton Kutcher walking around with his dick hanging out all the time?
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Good dick is sometimes attached to bad men, as bad dick is attached to good men. If its good, then show it!! LOL
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Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!
honestly, i don't know what you guys have come across in your life, but i think it's just a regular-sized penis. it's definitely NOT huge.
any guy can tell you: if you don't wear underwear, more blood flows into your penis and it looks larger. but in the end, when it gets hard, it doesn't make any difference.
i still don't get it. what's all the fuss about?
Why so sensitive Hammy? You obviously want people to look.
Whamster it's not always about the peen, sometimes it is who it is attached to. And then sometimes it is just about the peen. Sorry, I'm no help :)
Whamo, I'd prob say, "eww look at that pustule- and smegma-covered light switch"
Whamo, he doesn't really do it for me, but I can def see why other women drool over him.
Anyway, Mayer and Asstain seem like they have small ones.
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Every saint has a past and
Every sinner has a future
I wonder what you ladies would be saying if this were someone like a John Mayer or an Ashton Kutcher walking around with his dick hanging out all the time?
Foxxy, ty for that pic of Peter Campbell's peter. I couldn't really see it (damn tiny phone screen). VK is another hot Mad Man.
And don't forget the Silver Fox Slattery. So much eye candy on that show! Even Ginsburg is kinda cute (especially with the sound turned down). Can't wait for the new season!
I'm going to say from experience that just because a man has a huge shlong, doesn't mean he knows how to use it. ;)
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 11:09am.
Submitted by Sweetas on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 10:48am.
It's okay guys, just because we admire it doesn't mean we expect all that.
Women have a long list of things they say they want from men: stability, a good job, kindness, muscles and abs, good parenting, a poetic soul, thoughtfulness, etc., etc., etc. Turns out what's really important is a big dick.
GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!
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Every saint has a past and
Every sinner has a future
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 11:55am.
"softball over the center of the plate for the "he can park it in my space and disable me any time" joke"
Prolly, Foxxy, but straight from the heart nonetheless. His girlfriend must be a sucker for pain.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
I cannot believe this shit. I just locked myself out of the fucking house. And my husband doesn't answer his phone. Now I gotta sit here and wait for pop a lock. FML .
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 11:54am.
"Main pic: that's not a penis, that's a handicap."
softball over the center of the plate for the "he can park it in my space and disable me any time" joke, Mickey
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Well, Jessica Pare has cellulite so now I feel better about my cellulite. Not really.
Oh, and that top pic? Fuck yeah! I love stubble and, of course, a giant cock. Must pull self together. Have conference call in 20 minutes.
Main pic: that's not a penis, that's a handicap.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Submitted by veryoldbat on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 11:40am.
::: Stands beside GG:::: looks for the lyrics to
Can't Keep A Good Man Down...::::warms ups voice..
fool. LMFAO!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
here's a bonus Kartheiser naked. you're welcome:
http://worldofwonder.net/2011/03/21/vinnie/
i hope he's a better actor now than he was in Angel, gawd i hated him as connor
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
I've met my fair share of guys with hammacondas and most prefer to go commando. I wonder if they prefer to not wear underwear like some large chest women prefer not to wear a bra all the time.
Now I'm craving kielbasa. DAMNIT
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
All this talk about a Hamm's baloney. Its like a riddle, Gollum. If a Ham has a Baloney then what does a baloney have, precious?
::: Stands beside GG:::: looks for the lyrics to
Can't Keep A Good Man Down...::::warms ups voice...
Now is the time. You're not promised tomorrow. -PR
Submitted by stefystef on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 11:05am.
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 10:06am.
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You are right about Sharon Stone... She couldn't act for nothing.... and 25 years later, they are talking about her cooch and NOT her acting.
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Wait...are you saying Sharon Stone can't act? Have you seen Casino? That woman must have slept for months after that was filmed....she must have been exhausted. She gave one helluva performance in that.
@GG
LOL like the Beliebers? the Snake Charmers??
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 11:24am.
I think that we should set up a telethon or a supergroup and do a song like "We are the World", but "We want some Hammdong"?? Who's with me?
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Oh God yes. Count me in.
Hell, I'd chop off my pinkie toe to have half an hour with that thing.
YUM. Now all I can think about is his sex scenes in Bridesmaids with Kristen Wiig & whether or not she was getting slapped around with that thing, fully clothed, of course.
I think that we should set up a telethon or a supergroup and do a song like "We are the World", but "We want some Hammdong"?? Who's with me?
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Rande you forgot a BIG sense of humor!
Submitted by little_rascal on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 11:01am.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 10:06am.
We would love to sit on the hammaconda and cum using only our ASS!
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Jon Hamm is a gorgeous homosexual.
Are there nudes of Miss Hamm presenting hole?
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I fell out of my chair laughing at this
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
Haha Randé! Wait, why am I laughing? :(
i do not understand what the problem is....make hamm's pants tight with an opening so that peen can swing freely...
________________________________________________ I'm not fat...I'm cultivating mass...
Free the Hamm Dong!
Why is it okay to have Christine Hendricks' sloppy tits swinging around in our faces, but we can't have Hamm Dong?
Oh, yeah. Because Hollyweird is full of assholes who have no problem with showing tits, ass and female full frontal nudity, but God forbid we see Cock.
Submitted by original putas on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 10:21am.
EWWWWWWWWW, that was really a kind of sexual assault, to be honest.
You handled it like a lady. If you were a broad from the 'hood, he would have been singing soprano!
If you have a big cock, you have to be humble a bit. Jon Hamm doesn't strike me as a "humble" guy.
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"I swear, sometimes good dick is a thing of evil. It blurs your vision and screws with your brain.- MK, 01/17/13