When A Poster Child Of Plastic Surgery Met A Poster Child Of Plastic Surgery

It’s like the before and after of a collagen embalming. You decide who’s the before and who’s the after.

The chemical aroma of melting plastic, burnt Shrinky Dinks and Turtle Wax was in the air at ArcLight Hollywood last night when Demi Moore looked deep into the face of her future on Cher’s head. I’m sure that Cher and Demi have run into each other before in the lobby of a plastic surgery clinic, but both of their heads were wrapped in gauze at the time so they barely recognized one another. But at The AFI Night at the Movies last night they could finally bond over their mutual love of the scalpel. Cher probably told Demi that she really needs a third lip, because three lips are so much better than two. Demi looked at Cher’s cheeks and told her that she really needs to put more CCs of silicone into those things, because if your face cheeks can’t perfectly fit into a 32B bra, they’re not big enough.

Looking at this picture makes me wish that Demi could really, really sing. Because if she could, these two could recruit Taboo from the Black Eyed Peas and start a Morticia Addams doo-wop group. If only.

And here’s the lucky ones who got to bask in the plastic beauty of Demi and Cher. In order after D and C: Shirley MacLaine with Sally Field (doing the “friends at the prom” pose), Kevin Spacey (he really needs to rethink his toupee situation), Harrison Ford (he really needs to rethink that earring), Kathy Bates, Samuel L. Jackson and Kurt “I Want To Swim Naked Through The Silvery Hair Waves On His Head” Russell.