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Costume Shop Owners Are Crazy
This is what happens when you attempt to interview a costume shop owner who happens to be infected with a disease called Crazybitchitis.
NBC10 showed up to a costume shop in Providence, RI to talk to the owner, Ann Bruno, about the accusations that she cyberstalked one of her competitors! If costume shop wars are this crazy, rent me a storefront, get me a bunny costume and sign me up for this shit! Seriously, we should all be costume shop owners, so we can wear costumes all day and act like straitjacket-chewing lunatics! That is the life.
Ann does half of the interview wearing a slutty Easter Bunny head and the other half wearing the mask of arresting officer Bootsy! Something tells me those are just two of her dozens of personalities! If Annie Wilkes from Misery was a costume shop owner, this is what she would look like.
And please tell me I'm not the only who cried a little on the inside out of a fear when she said, "I'm baaaad." That's what villains in horror movies always say before they stab you in the froat!
VIA Videogum
The Duggars Have An Announcement To Make
Since OctoMommy is currently the country's premiere baby pimp, the Duggars had to do something quick to steal the spotlight back! Whatever it is they did, they will announce it this Monday on Today. What in traumatized uterus hell could it be?!
Most likely the oldest Duggar, Joshua, will announce that his new wife is knocked up with their 1st of ten trillion kids. They were only married last September, but they couldn't even kiss before they became legal! Seriously, Duggar rules state they couldn't kiss, finger bang or even do anal! Some fucked up shit. So I'm guessing that they started doing fucky times on their wedding night and haven't really stopped since. Josh's wife's vagina is already crying, because it knows its future is going to be filled with giant baby heads.
I also wouldn't be shocked if Michelle was pregnant with her 19th kid. Bitch barely had a baby girl, Jordyn-Grace, in December, but that woman is a freak of nature. Shit, she was probably already knocked up before she gave birth to Jordyn. While Jordyn was sliding out, the fetus waved and said "See you later, girl." Michelle is like a machine. I want to see her ass and OctoMommy in a baby-off!
Hopefully, the real news is that Michelle has decided to quit this baby stuff and move to Detroit, the hair capital of the world, to become a famous hair show model. Homegirl's hair has the wings for it.
VIA The Frisky
Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess
Which Euro fashion designer with an outrageous reputation and a recent contract with a major US retailer might yet regret that night out at a leather club many years ago? There’s a picture involving nipple clamps and a douche d’or that won’t play so well in Peoria. (StyeList via Blind Gossip)
My first thought was Thierry Mugler since he looks like he knows his way around a harness or two. I just hope if it's Karl Lagerfeld, those pictures never see the light of ANYTHING. Eyes would die.
Which sensual singer tells his girlfriends that although he’s straight, he still receives oral pleasure from other men — then fumes when they suggest he’s bisexual? (Gatecrasher)
The only singer living today I'd call sensual is Sade. You know it's true. Since it's not Sade, I'll guess John Legend? There's been rumors that his manhole puckers for the peen.
This foreign born singer who has been in this space before, doesn't even disguise her dislike of her celebrity husband. When she is drunk, her favorite game is to put her husband on speaker phone and let everyone around her listen while she yells at him, calls him names, and humiliates him as much as possible. No matter what though, he still hasn't left. (CDAN)
AVRIL?! AVRIL?! OR AVRIL?!
Afternoon Crumbs
Meet Ninio the big gay elephant who will whoop a bitch if she winks at his man - Towleroad
Bai Ling should ease up on the eye make-up, because bitch can hardly raise her lids - Hollywood Tuna
I know Blohan is all kinds of fucked up right now, but Ali Lohan needs an intervention of her own. Homegirl doesn't look a day over BEAT - Popsugar
Adriana Lima kind of has gay face here - Egotastic!
This looks like some Eyes Wide Shut shit (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather
Something Billy Bob better get used to: getting booed wherever his ass goes - Lainey Gossip
A rotten Peach - Cityrag
Eliza Dushku wearing Rosie O'Donnell's old outfit from Exit to Eden - Popoholic
My index finger is thicker than one of Cha Cha Diva's legs - The Bastardly
RiRi's mother is really hot - Just Jared
Mischa Barton is full of shit as usual - Hollywood Rag
Behold... The Ambassador For Wool!
Kelly Bensimon from The Really Stupid Bitches Of New York is still going on about her feud with Bethenny Frankel even though she said she was totally over it. In the new issue of Harper's Bazaar (via UsWeekly), Kelly opened up her dehydrated prune lips to defend herself against Bethenny's comment that she's inauthentic.
Kelly said, "Honestly, if being inauthentic means graduating from Columbia University, writing three books, starting two magazines, bearing two children, being the ambassador for wool, running a marathon for charity — if that's inauthentic? Tell me what authentic is."
The ambassador for WOOL?!!!! Wool not fools. Seriously, every sheep on this planet just farted at that comment. This bitch is fucking crazy. Kelly should be the ambassador for watered down leather since that's what her body is covered in.
The ambassador for wool didn't stop there, "Is Bethenny a socialite? No. Will she ever sit next to Lauren DuPont? No. Is she best friends with Aerin Lauder? No. Am I? No. Do I care? No. Does she? Oh, absolutely. She's not authentic."
Is Kelly a dumb whore? Yes. Does she look like a dusty Miller's Outpost leather jacket that's been sitting in a bin at the Salvation Army for a couple of decades? Yes. Does she reek of desperation and burnt nails? Yes. Does she look like an asshole for asking and answering her own questions? Yes.
Blohan Won't Be Playing Stevie Nicks Anytime Soon
I guess Blohan did the wrong shit one day and got the crazy idea to buy the film rights to Stevie Nicks' life story as a vehicle for herself. Like Blo really has the cash to buy that shit. You can't buy the rights to someone's life story with a half-snorted bag of coke and a Red Bell can. Well, maybe Stevie would've accepted that offer back in the early 80s, but not today!
When asked by UsWeekly what she thought about Blo playing her in a movie, Stevie said, "Over my dead body. She needs to stop doing drugs and get a grip. Then maybe we'll talk."
Stevie totally crushed Blo's dreams which caused her to grab a straw and snort 'em up!
Now this isn't such a fucked-up idea! I mean, Blohan is a little too old in the face to even play Stevie today, but after the make-up hos from BENJAMIN BUTTON'S get their hands on her mug, she could totally pull it off. Stevie practically lived on a mountain made of sugar back in the day, so all you gotta do is throw a shawl over Blohan and VOILA!
And since Blohan really wants to make the worst movie ever by casting herself as Stevie Nicks, she should go all the way! Heather Mills IS Christine McVie. Joaquin Phoenix IS Lindsey Buckingham. James Haven IS Mick Fleetwood (he has the crazy eyes). Billy Bob Thornton IS John McVie. I'll stop there before a pitchfork-wielding mob of Fleetwood Mac superfans storm my door.
A Casa de Vadge Will Be Built In Malawi
A judge in Malawi told Vadge to go fuck herself with her own roidy clit by denying her adoption of Baby Mercy. The judge said that only hos who have lived in Malawi for 18-months or more can adopt a baby. Because of that ruling, Vadge has decided to build a house next to her already planned all-girls school in Malawi.
Vadge's recent visit to Malawi wasn't only a baby buying trip. She was also there to oversee construction of her school and she also told her architect to draw up plans for a house. The Sun says, “Madonna has a big, beautiful plot of land over there already. She’s planning to build a girl’s school in the Chinkhota village and those designs are well under way. But she’s gone back to the designers and asked if they could accommodate a family home on the plot or on adjacent land.”
Why does this remind of Poltergeist? Probably because Vadge had to shoo away a bunch of villagers to get her claws on that land! The villagers are still pissed because Vadge hasn't compensated them. You know they put a spell on that shit. Vadge is thinking she's slick by building a house there so she can finally get Mercy! Bitch refuses to lose. But Vadge's new house is going to be haunted with the ghosts of all the bitches she sucked the youth out of! Everywhere she turns there will be a Ritchie or a Baby Jesus! Those villagers aren't going to let her win this time!
Open Post: Hosted By The Placenta Panini
I'm feeling nice today, so I put the full picture of this placenta panini after the jump. The picture itself is not that gross, but it becomes gross when you know it's made from placenta. Actually, if you pretend it's just Manwich, it's not so bad. Okay, that might have made it worse. And now I can never enjoy a delicious Manwich panini.
It's not unheard for people to feast on placenta after giving birth. I saw a documentary on HBO or something about it. They served it at some fancy cocktail party with wine and shit. So just beware that the next time you're at a party, those delicious mini-quesadillas might not be made with beef.
Anyway, Mom Logic posted a story yesterday about how twin sisters, Chrissy and Kathy, made some delicious dishes using Chrissy's baby's placenta. They wanted to share their gourmet dishes with everyone, so they posted it all on Facebook! Chrissy and Kathy both did research to make sure it was safe to eat the placenta. They decided to eat it, because it's 6lbs of pure meat that did so much for baby, so they felt bad wasting it. They said it didn't taste bad at all and had the consistency of filet mignon. I'll take their word for it.
Somewhere in the world, OctoMommy is slapping herself with a baby, because she could've opened a carniceria with her placenta!
If you want to read the whole interview and see more pictures, visit Mom Logic. The full picture of the delicious placenta panini is after the yack. I realize that some of you are fasting today, so you're welcome! YACK!!!
Morning Wood
Who's the owner of this dark-sided zombie claw?! No, it doesn't belong to the African baby snatcher - Popbytes
Katie Joel Lee pulled the old "I'm not fucking him, he's gay!" trick - Celebitchy
Prince wrote a song about Salma Hayek's magnificent chichis - ICYDK
The Boss responds to being a homewrecking slut, but doesn't deny it - EW
Somebody please give Peta a handjob with bacon lube, because they obviously need a little attention - Popeater
This new reality show looks a lot like Gossip Girl, but with double the fugly - I'm Not Obsessed
Oh, it looks like the new version of Photoshop came out - Socialite Life
I still can't condone this. I can't. - Pink is the New Blog


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