Taylor Momsen Has Retired From Acting
The acting world is still suffering from shortness of breath brought on by Amanda Bynes pressing pause on her acting career for a second, and now it will completely have to deep throat a 10-inch long asthma inhaler over award-winning thespian (by "award-winning" I mean bitch hasn't won shit) Taylor Momsen hanging up her "acting" skills forever. Cut to the sad image of Meryl Streep passing a torch to an empty space, because Taylor Momsen isn't there to grab it.
The post-seizure dumpster panda tells Elle Magazine that she's quit acting, quit Gossip Girl and will devote all her time to duct taping her nipples in the name of rock.
ELLE: And any acting projects planned?
TM: I quit acting, actually. I quit Gossip Girl and now tour and am in a band and that’s pretty much all I want to do. Hopefully I’ll be able to only do that for the rest of my life.
Bitch, stop. You know Gossip Girl quit you, because they were sick of wasting money on paying hos to scrape off the gorilla anus rings from around your eyes before getting you into make-up. But seriously, Taylor is making the right decision. When you're acting skills make Blake Lively look like an actual human being that processes actual emotions in her working brain, it's best to go out on top.
And Gossip Girl has announced that they won't kill off the character of Jenny. They're simply going to replace Taylor with a malnourished raccoon in a teased Heidi wig. Whenever they need Jenny to talk, they'll just give the raccoon a cracker to nibble on while a crack baby provides her voice by slurring out coos in the corner. I'm sure the raccoon and the crack baby will both win an Emmy.
OMG! I wanted this in March for my birthday but I'll take it!!! I'm dancing so hard right now that I may black out.
She quit acting for now, cause they quit her. Her band will fail, she'll try to get back into acting but the only work she's going to find when she's 18+ is in the porn business. so she'll be masturbating (I've heard this is her greatest skill) and sucking cunts and cocks on camera for nickels.
Is she still the face of Madonna's Material Girl clothing line?
Fucking tool! I hate this little bitch SO MUCH!
this creature literally looks like something the cat dragged in...
where's this child's mother?
_____________________________________________
Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent...
Good for her i suppose.
I never once saw that gossip girl crap so i cannot comment on her acting skills. About her music ... i appreciate she doesn't do that retarded ringtone-discoshit like everyone else, rock is in theory my kinda thing. It's just that she pretty much sucks at it. Live, she is completely unable to move thanks to her obsession with grotesque highheels. Also her songs are filler material.
--
You got a lot of money, but you can't afford the freeway
*clutches chest* Stop the fucking presses!
She is too young to look this dated. Done, done.
Oh I'm like retired from theoretical physics and stuff, yeah. Just wanna like focus on like my band and stuff, yeah. Pretty much.
Bitch please, you didn't quit gossip girl, they Marissa Cooper your ass!!
NEVER quit your day job.
She's only retired from acting to avoid the scripts--that lame-assed reading is for loozers.
If she stood up straight and wiped the shit off her eyes she would look much better.
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Tue, 08/16/2011 - 5:13pm.
I've never seen any of her 'acting', but bitch CAN sing.
-------------------
I guess you've never had to endure The Grinch and her "singing" in that then! ;oD
The rest of her band is all gonna need an old age home before she hits it big. I wonder if - ok, I wonder HOW MUCH she annoys them.
♥ Threadkilla!
Lean Like a Chola, Celebrity Stylez: http://youtu.be/0ZwdYeGSVS0
this post is fucking poetry.
I've never seen any of her 'acting', but bitch CAN sing.
So let this trick have her moment. If we're lucky, she is the 2nd coming of Courtney Love. If we're even luckier, she'll get struck by lightning tomorrow.
***************************************
Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
Submitted by mike on Tue, 08/16/2011 - 5:08pm.
------------
Your secret is safe with me. :)
Submitted by islandgirl on Tue, 08/16/2011 - 4:02pm.
How can you retire from something that you never did in the first place?
Shhhhhh. I'm retiring from quilting and stamp collecting.
Is she more pathetic than her twin Brooke Hogan?
Man she is not ageing well at all.
Hopefully now she can fuck off and we'll never have to see her face again.
Submitted by islandgirl on Tue, 08/16/2011 - 4:02pm.
How can you retire from something that you never did in the first place?
***********************************************
That's just what I was about to say.
Speaking of, I shall now retire from being an attention whore and instead go and sit on a dumpster all day.
Here is a tip for the under 20 crowd: to quit something is not the same as retirement. Retirement is when you give your life to a skill or trade and your body tells you enough is enough. Hell, in this world most of us will never retire.
She was FIRED from GG, she didn't 'quit'. And I love the photo, it's like her makeup person really hates her ass.
This post is pure gold - from "gorilla anus rings" to "malnourished raccoon in a teased Heidi wig." I laughed so hard that I farted. Loud.
*Going to check undies for stains*
----
"Taylor has an unfair advantage. Bitch never has to buy lube since her eyes are greasier than the peen of the lone top at a gay orgy." - MK
Submitted by SpiceDong on Tue, 08/16/2011 - 4:28pm.
Now I want her to retire forever from my computer screen too.
¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥
LOL, yes please.
Ha, she's trying to break through in Japan. Another to the "oh, they're big in Japan" list. Whatever happened to those blonde sisters from the past, MK. You know the ones, they were "big in Japan!" Anyway, it's been months! Years!
I hate this naff little tart. She looks like a Guns N'Roses groupie who blows mullet-wearing roadies to get backstage passes.
The worse is, in France where I live, she does get invited to supposedly cool TV shows (meaning shows made by middle aged men dribbling over her slutty outfits) and some teenagers think she is cool and they like her 'band'.
Nigella and Jamie ain't got shit on Titli !
http://titlisbusykitchen.com/
I quit acting, right. Like when I got fired but told everyone the company was downsizing and laying off all the newer employees.
Uh, sweetheart...how will you supplement your income now that you've allowed the cash cow to jump the fence? Is the world really beating a path to your door to hear your f-the-universe-f-everybody-woe-is-my-angry-ass repertoire that was perfected 30-40 years back by women with actual talent? Do you honestly think you can carve out a new niche with something so trite? You will NEVER be Cherie Currie, Joan Jett, Lita Ford, Courtney Love, Marianne Faithful, Lydia Lunch, Exene Cervenka, Cherry Vanilla or ANY member of Girlschool. The Kidz Bop singers are more hardcore than you, poseur.
If only Ming Ming could have lived long enough to see this day.
R.I.P. Ming Ming
*waits patiently for Gaza Strip to call me white trash*
inb4 raccoons find out about the comparison and start picketing MK's ass.
===============================================
"Joy and sorrow are life's companions."
What a cunning stunt.
Now I want her to retire forever from my computer screen too.
I was told she was actually "retired" from Gossip Girl for not playing nice with the other hos.
She is a classic example of a really pretty girl fucking up with her looks in her desire to look edgy. FAIL.
-------------------------------------------------
"When you open up your vagina to a billionaire and a baby comes out, it is your responsibility to get as much money out of that motherfucker as possible!" - MK
"Gorilla anus rings around your eyes"
faints.
------------------------------------------------
Oh God ,why don't you go sit under a rainbow and write a poem, Kyle.
Taylor Momsen has retired from acting?
The film and television industry rejoices as the music industry mourns.
Who buys tickets for her band's "shows"?
She's looking a lot older than 18.
************************************
"Your ignorance makes me ill and angry. Your savageness...must...end."
This bitch. She won't realise until it's far too late that she had it all. Just another Mischa Barton (whose name I had to go look up as I couldn't remember who played Marissa in the OC, which tells you EVERYTHING)!
I didn't know she was an actress. I thought she was just dlisted fodder.
leave pandas allllllllooonnnneee!!!!!!
------------------------------------------------
Oh God ,why don't you go sit under a rainbow and write a poem, Kyle.
Maybe she'll marry Gene Simmons and twit about rolling erotically down stage ramps.
"Post-seizure dumpster panda"
HAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAH!
*chokes*
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
Oh no!!!! However will I sleep tonigh...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks
Bitch looks bloated as hell.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Don't hit back, just keep thrusting. Make that transfer, bitch!- MK 7/26/11
How can you retire from something that you never did in the first place?