In Dumbass Lawsuit News....
Former Mr. Eva Longoria, Tony Parker, was at W.i.P nightclub the night Wheelchair Jimmy and Fist Brown's entourages got into a bottle-throwing, bloody bitch brawl. Tony had to go to the hospital after the fight, because a shard of glass flew into his eye and cut up his cornea. Tony is now suing a bitch and he's not suing Wheelchair Jimmy and Fist Brown for acting like rabid toddlers on roids. Tony is suing the nightclub...for $20 million. THIS BITCH. Oh wait, Tony has a scratched eyeball, so he might not be able to see that. Let me try again:
THIS BITCH.
TMZ says that in the lawsuit filed yesterday, Tony says that the club security should've known it was a bad move to put Drake and Chris Brown in the same section together. Tony goes on to say that the club made shit worse by continuing to serve Chris and Drake as much booze as they ordered. Tony thinks that the club cared more about making money than the safety of the other hos in the club. Tony is suing for $20 million, because his NBA career will be affected if his cornea doesn't heal all the way.
From now on, Tony Parker should follow my rule about clubs. I only go to classy clubs that don't have a VIP section, don't do bottle service and serve all their booze in plastic cups. A rule to live by.
And Tony's ass should really sue Wheelchair Jimmy and Fist Brown instead. They're the ones with the money and they're the douchebags who started it all. The only way this lawsuit makes sense is if you told me that a shard of glass also made its way up to Tony's head and cut the part of his brain that produces reasonable thoughts.
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I dunno shite about insurance which is why I'm a broke-ass fool who never conned anyone; BUT, when a claim like this is made (QUESTIONABLE, dismissed) don't the insurance companies intend to NEVER PAY, and APPEAL it to the hilt. Thus, earning their in-house lawyers' salaries and keeping frivilous-filing lawsuit dudes like this at bay. I mean, you go to a club where gangstas hang, you take a personal risk of injury. Wouldn't any judge make that ruling? Or am I being that stoner idealist again? Oh yeah, judges get bought. And NBA has good legal department. Never mind, this fool should end up with more money than Kartrashians. I hate people.
My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens...and weasels.
disclaimer, I know nothing about law, but couldn't a fight break out at a starbucks. can you sue the starbucks for not keeping their establishment safer? can they prevent that?
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"I felt very still & very empty, the way the eye of a tornado must feel, moving dully along in the middle of the surrounding hullabaloo."
Ugh. That's it. I'm hiring a 'publicist' to dream up ways for me to sue people to become rich for doing nothing. I feel left out.
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
As apropo as the name Fist Brown is, it really conjures up some unrelated dirty images. Wheelchair Jimmy, on the other hand, is fabulous.
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Silly rabbit.
i pity the fool, the owner, that invested in this club, and didn't keep up with his mediatakeout news smh
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http://tinyurl.com/69rcrqy
He is very unnatractive.
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 05/30/2012 - 10:59am.
I was a skinny, pink preemie. I looked like an earthworm until I was two months old.
Submitted by Lisbet459 on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 2:24pm.
exactly...this wasn't regular cheating, this was advanced cheating. I have a tiny modicum of knowledge about this dickhole and really, if he was fully incapable of keeping his dick in his pants and/or being discreet about it, there is absolutely no point to getting married. being married doesn't elevate your profile when all you'll end up doing is douching out on your wife. if anything, it has the opposite effect.
and yeah, I do believe folks who not only cheat but humiliate their spouses get theirs in the end.
as Martin Lawrence would say, fuck 'em girl, fuck 'em. :D
I just want to know one thing.
How did they get this many douchebags in one bar without it collapsing into a super black hole of douchedom that would make the Hadron Collider look like a backyard science experiment?
I am so goddamn motherfucking sick of people.
So sick of ignorant dicks with $.
Tony Parker should also sue whoever told him it was okay to think and talk. I mean, doesn't being a DUMB ASS affect your career as well?
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"Let them measure my anus and see if it is dilated."
- Andrés García Torres, inventor of the Catholic Anus Ruler
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 3:08pm.
Obviously, the only clear solution is to put Chris Brown on a space shuttle and launch his ass off to Pluto. It's for everyone's safety.
LOL! Clearly.
(Also admiring Lisbet's use of "forfend.")
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Please: It's "rahnday."
Nicaw: because the club has a duty to ensure its safe for its patrons. Parker prob expected security to step in and keep it under control, which obviously they failed to do
Submitted by islandgirl on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 3:18pm.
Submitted by Dog on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 3:15pm.
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Smoke and a pancake?
^^^^^
Shave and a haircut?
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Dog on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 3:15pm.
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Smoke and a pancake?
http://youtu.be/SyMLv2ssDEk
Submitted by islandgirl on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 3:13pm.
Submitted by Dog on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 3:10pm.
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I'll see your polar bear and go fish. :)
^^^^^^
I'll go fish and bet you a bong hit.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Dog on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 3:10pm.
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I'll see your polar bear and go fish. :)
OK they need to start arresting people in that fight.
IG, let's play poker. I'll raise you a polar bear.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Dog on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 3:04pm.
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*Doctor Evil voice* You can sue me for $1.92 before tax!
*waves*
Obviously, the only clear solution is to put Chris Brown on a space shuttle and launch his ass off to Pluto. It's for everyone's safety.
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"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
- Yogi Berra
I wasn't there (obviously) but Imma sue every one of YOU whores just because. I figure I could get at least $100 from ya'll because there are some ass-poor bitches up in here like me.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
"Tony says that the club security should've known it was a bad move to put Drake and Chris Brown in the same section together".
If this was so obvious to him, then why the fuck didn't he take his eye and leave before the shit went down? Just sayin.
you would think this club could see trouble brewing from the get go, it isn't like they aren't prepared for bar fights to happen, and smart ones are trained to see it coming.
This injury could be game changing for Tony, I don't blame him one bit.
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
The club should have known it could dangerous having Drake and Chris Brown there are the same time? Well, shouldn't Tony Parker have known too? And if so, why didn't he get the h@!! out? And if decided to stay even though, why did he choose to be so close to both of them.
SMH
Submitted by MadgesVadge on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 2:36pm
this should be interesting re: damages. looking forward to seeing how team tony gets around the interviews he did right after The Incident where he says the Spurs doctors already had told him that it would only take about 7 days to heal and he's good to go to play in the olympics. lmao. oops.
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Have to say, I agree with those of you who say this lawsuit has some substance. Yes, Breezy and Drake are douches, but it is ultimately up to the club to maintain order. People fight all the time in clubs, it's not just a celebrity thing. Parker's injury could seriously affect his career, so he is right to sue for the portion of his contract still outstanding, if it is proven that his injury is career-ending.
But the moral of the story is, NOTHING GOOD COMES FROM BEING AROUND CHRIS BROWN. Hate to say it, but the boy sure does know how to find trouble.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
Submitted by Vanitas on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 2:24pm.
"I'm behind this lawsuit. Security and management could have prevented this fight before it escalated.. They were yelling insults at each other before the glass started flying."
Yup. they wanted the club to get famous. well, now it has.
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Doctrine of deep pockets people. In a lawsuit you name everyone you possibly can, especially the venue where it happened. It's probably easier to sue them anyways than it is to prove who threw the bottle, started the fight etc.
I'm behind this lawsuit. Security and management could have prevented this fight before it escalated.. They were yelling insults at each other before the glass started flying.
Submitted by skinny fat on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 2:18pm.
Submitted by ditquoi on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 1:59pm.
That's his fucked up karma for cheating on his wife before, during and after the wedding. I'm no fan of Longwhoria but no one deserves that.
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99% of hollyweird people cheat so I guess they're all going to get cut corneas or some such shit.
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If karma exists, then in this case it's because of the excuses that his people put out there.
I read in some magazine, things that were clearly put out there by his people. We were expected to feel sorry for *him* because she'd let herself go.
And by "let herself go", they meant neglected the marriage. And by "neglecting the marriage", they meant that she no longer got on a plane as much to keep an eye on him as he went clubbing. Heaven forfend he support *her* career, or fly over to see *her*. Or even avoid the clubs.
Nope. If she's not being his Mommy, then he feels justified to do what he wants.
"what might happen in the hypothetical future."
liability issues separate from damages issues. that's damages, if they reach that point
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by ditquoi on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 1:59pm.
That's his fucked up karma for cheating on his wife before, during and after the wedding. I'm no fan of Longwhoria but no one deserves that.
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99% of hollyweird people cheat so I guess they're all going to get cut corneas or some such shit.
I get it. Sue for what might happen in the hypothetical future. Put that club outta business! Yay!
Baaaawk Baaaaaawk Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaawk
*tips hat grand low sweeping bow:P*
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 1:37pm.
not exactly sure which "these people" you were referring to, but the last person i personally saw throw a bottle in a bar was a white male at a white family bar/restaurant on the white waterfront in white San Francisco at about 7 pm on a white weekday evening. it was a white sports-related argument between white Giants and white Dodgers fans.
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 1:56pm.
Hey I choked my chicken, how much is that worth?
I'm going to sue MK for giving you a forum to assault my virgin eyes with your maturation talk.
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 1:56pm.
Hey I choked my chicken, how much is that worth?
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reported, really not funny...please grow up.
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Submitted by ditquoi on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 1:59pm.
That's his fucked up karma for cheating on his wife before, during and after the wedding. I'm no fan of Longwhoria but no one deserves that.
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^^^ THIS. THIS ALL DAY LONG.
Submitted by Few Words on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 1:50pm.
ima gonna sue 7eleven cause my dr pepper wasnt cold enough.
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LOL FW, ya I'd sue them too, IT IS Dr. Pepper we're talking about here!! ;D
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 1:56pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 1:53pm.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 1:51pm.
I'm gonna sue M.E. for choking kittens!!!
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Good luck with that!
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Hey I choked my chicken, how much is that worth?
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A box of Kleenex and hand sanitizer.
That's his fucked up karma for cheating on his wife before, during and after the wedding. I'm no fan of Longwhoria but no one deserves that.
My brain won't let me see that isn't a super tanned Joey Lawrence.
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 1:53pm.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 1:51pm.
I'm gonna sue M.E. for choking kittens!!!
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Good luck with that!
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Hey I choked my chicken, how much is that worth?
I'm sure the insurance limits are not upwards of $20M, so the lawyers for the insurance company will haggle back and forth with Tony's lawyers until they reach an equitable settlement. The unfortunate thing about this is that the insurance premiums for the bar will go through the freaking roof as a result of this incident and subsequent payout through the policy, and the business won't be able to afford to insure itself in the future. If they can't insure themselves, they'll have to go out of business.
All because of these two STUPID MOTHERFUCKERS.
However, I wouldn't be at all surprised if future lawsuits with the two douchebags who started all of this are in the pipeline as well. And I support that idea 10000000000000000000000%. Fuck those guys.
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 1:51pm.
I'm gonna sue M.E. for choking kittens!!!
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Good luck with that!
Submitted by Poopele on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 1:50pm.
Pass it to the big black fucker. The End.
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LMFAO!!!
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 1:19pm.
I mean if it affects his eyesight and he misses a season or two, or it affects his career...$20 million isn't far off from his future earning potential. I'm going to have to see some receipts though.
And how about suing the dumbasses who were involved in the fight? Or you too afraid they won't let you hang with the cool kids anymore?
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THIS!!! I did a quick google search and apparently just over 2 years ago, Tony Parker signed a 4 year contract with the Spurs for $50 million. And $50 million spread evenly across 4 years means that there's still about $20 million outstanding on his contract. If this bottle injury affects his performance and his career he's out the remainder of his contract. Can you really blame the guy for suing for $20 mill in damages when that's what he's facing to lose if he's out for the next 2 years?
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"'Those who danced were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.' We hear the music and we still think you're insane, bitch. For the record." [Michael K on Megan Fox]
Anything having to do with injured eyeballs makes me queezy.
I researched the surgery on my niece and the docs had to pop out her eyeball to perform the surgery on the muscles behind it.
*shudders*
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 1:40pm.
OMG the money for the bus lady is over 400k!
Now she can buy a nicer purse!
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The account is open for another 29 days, she might hit a million. Once people hear how much she's got already I think donations will dry up.
Still, good for her, what the hell I'm a little jealous and wish it were me but I'd be down 400k because all the parents would have sued me for punching the shit out of their Satanic Spawn.
I'm gonna sue M.E. for choking kittens!!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.