Sofia Vergara Says You Ain't Nothing In Latin America If You Don't Have A Fat Ass
When you walk up to the immigration counter before entering Latin America, the official takes your passport and tells you to turn around and stick it out. If you don't have a double down ass that is stretching the limits of the fabric covering it, then you get a giant red DENIED stamped on your passport and your flat ass gets sent back to whichever flat ass land you came from. Only bubble butt bitches allowed! (It's true, it happened to me when I tried to go to Costa Rica.)
Colombian flower Sofia Vergara tells Allure (via NYDN) that you'll hardly see her inside of gym, because working out makes her all-natural 32F chichis shrink and even worse, it makes her ass smaller. A small ass on her body makes Sofia Vergara sad, because she says a fat ass in Latin America is EVERYTHING .Sofia said this when she talked about working out:
"My ass gets smaller, and my boobs get smaller. I don't mind when the boobs get smaller. I don't like when the ass gets smaller. In Latin America, if you don't have a big ass, you're nothing.
We're loud. We're passionate. We're colorful. We're voluptuous ... I am not scared of the stereotype of the Latin woman, because I think that's fantastic."
If you're a skinny trick with noassatall in Latin America, don't wander the streets looking for a back alley surgeon to pump your nalgas with Fix-A-Flat so you can finally make it there. Come to the US, where you can make it in show business even if you have an ass that is so flat it can double as a cheese-cutting board (see: practically half of the actresses here). And in exchange, we'll hand over the trio of human asses known as the Kuntrashians! It's a deal! Too late, Colombia! The deal is made and there's no going back. Blame Sofia Vergara.
(Picture via Pacific Coast News)
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first of all, @ misslainey, 34k's? wow, that sounds good to me.
anyway, if you have a flat booty then you really should do something to get yourself that sexy nice big round bubble butt. Workout, eat, do what you gotta do cuz its sexy.
And misslainey, imagine if you had a big round booty to go with those nice big sexy 34k's! normally i prefer booty over boobs but i wouold have to make an exception for a girl with 34k's!
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LOL Lily85, there will be a tsunami of visitors to your brazilian beaches! Thanks for the welcome!!
OnT: still a great view...
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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You guys are all invited to come to Rio anytime! You will all be very welcome, being flat assed or not, we are very nice to all gringos, specially if dollar is your currency. Lol
I know my avie doesn't look Brazilian. It looks American right?! Lol
Did I seem too stereotypical?! ;)
I truly believe that you haven't begun to scoop up all of life's beautiful moments until you've heard the line "Watch the wig!" from a piece while sitting on their face. - MK
God doesn't care what you wear to church.
I'd taste her fucking lunch at dinner time all night! Her rectum would be filled with my frothy spit let me tell you!!
Submitted by loopygorilla on Sat, 08/11/2012 - 12:29am.
Submitted by Lily85 on Sat, 08/11/2012 - 12:26am.
Lily, you in danger girl ... ;-P
ETA: i cannot believe that i of all people missed a discussion of big asses. also, Vegara bitch, that ass ain't big, you're not loud because you're latin you're loud because you're an attention whore, and all you were asked is if you work out not if you want to issue a press release about your ass. hate her
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
My mom's got booty, my daughter's got booty. Me? I got a serious case of sad flat ass. However, my 34ks get their share of attention. I have always been well endowed. Started wearing a bra--a real bra, not a training bra in 2nd grade. I was not fat, either. I was fairly tiny, but with big boobs. School was awful. I was called Charmin or Dolly Parton.
It really made me insecure. Now I wish I knew then what I know now, 'cause I woulda worked that shit. I am fat now, but back then I had an hourglass figure. The good thing is that I have always been anle to lose weight fairly quickly as long as I eat right and move my butt. It's just finding the time and motivation to keep it up. Anywho, I think my insomnia is beginning to wane, so g'night.
Loopy, you fox, papi nalguitas will get them going. Now for a plan B, in case there's more than one... if we need to get to the stadium, we're prepared to bring our flash game too! (__!__) olol ;p
*plans our Brazilian beach fashions*
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by WithinReason... on Sat, 08/11/2012 - 1:33am.
well the competition will be fierce, for sure. i think i might just give a coy smile and if that doesnt work ill just flash my nalgas, give them 5 minutes.
Loopy, hahaha tickets to the "foreign exotic secret garden" olol Hotties get a special access pass! Do you know any special moves Loopy? Something to make us stand out? Because those hot sluts are something fierce! Think of Sofia X 10. lolol ;)
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sat, 08/11/2012 - 12:53am.
hi, sweetie!!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
ESE!!!!! Hellloooooooooooo!!!!!
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And there you got me, that's how you got me, you taught me to be mean
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sat, 08/11/2012 - 12:36am.
funny Lily, you don't look Brazilian in your avie.... :)
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i guess you have to pan down on the picture?... what?!... you opened it up for that joke!... don't blame me!
OT: Sofia's purdy, but i don't get all the hub-bub about her.
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Submitted by WithinReason... on Sat, 08/11/2012 - 12:40am.
I believe we are exotic creatures when we go overseas.
its like Italy, when i went with a few natural blonde gal pals, the italian men were whistling and howling like a pack of wolves, its like they never saw blondes before.
must be the "fresh meat" mentality.
now if im correct, brazilian guys will be taking tickets to sample our foreign exotic secret garden.
Loopy, HELL YA!
Miss Lilly85, will you take pitty on us and help some ho's out! We got some hottt moves in the group! PLEASE SAY YES!! We need to come to Brazil in 4 years!
Omg, Loops! Do you think we can impress Miss Lily? She is surrounded with all those gorgeous creatures?! We may need to flash her and show some SKIN! lolol
OnT: Sofia has an enviable bod!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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funny Lily, you don't look Brazilian in your avie.... :)
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And there you got me, that's how you got me, you taught me to be mean
i can tell you that being ghey, we dont like flat ass queens, or flabby ass queens, we like em round tush.
that is why sad bitches like me spend 30 minutes working on glutes. but lucky for me, my family genes we always had fat asses, we just gotta keep it toned.
Submitted by Lily85 on Sat, 08/11/2012 - 12:26am.
OMG within, foxxy, veryoldbat, lucifer and everybody else, lily lives in RIO!!!!
Miss Lily, we are getting ready to party for Rio 2016!!! cuz we know rio will bring the party with all the hot guys.
As a brazilian, I can tell that most women here are pretty hot and take care of their bodies. So the competition here is fierce!
But it only happens in coastal cities, I believe.
In Rio (where I live) for instance, everybody works out. If you don't work out you're practically excluded from a social circle.
But if you go to cities in the country side, you won't see people going crazy with their bodies as I see in Rio.
I truly believe that you haven't begun to scoop up all of life's beautiful moments until you've heard the line "Watch the wig!" from a piece while sitting on their face. - MK
Well, she does have a nice pair of legs. The ass comment is silly because some people don't want a large ass.
I think what she says is true. I'm Mexican and have a flat ass and I'm really insecure about it thanks to family and friends. That's just how we're brought up. I have a few family members that are tiny size 0-2 and they always get shit for having a body of a 12 year old. Yes its ignorant and wrong but if you watch the any Spanish shows or even the news were the anchors should be conservative and serious the reporters are with their tits sky high. http://www.perfectpeople.net/photo-picture-image-media/Barbara-Bermudo-2...
weather girl http://www.google.com/search?tbm=isch&source=mog&hl=en&gl=us&client=ms-a...
Kids show host http://www.google.com/search?tbm=isch&source=mog&hl=en&gl=us&client=ms-a...
Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Fri, 08/10/2012 - 10:31pm.
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I know a lot of Colombians and some Venezuelans. They like their asses big. The women are hot and pretty (I definitely had a lesbian crush on a few Venezuelan ladies). BUT Brazilians are still the hottest. Colombian men will tell you this as long as no Colombian women are around ;) Yes, I'm biased. Brazilian and Colombian women have a bit of a rivalry going when it comes to who's hotter.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Fri, 08/10/2012 - 7:29pm.
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Finding pants to fit my butt sucks, but not as much as trying to find things that go with my 34DDD. Button down shirts are impossible. I've been lucky to find jobs where very casual business casual is acceptable attire.
Submitted by delirious on Fri, 08/10/2012 - 6:19pm.
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Hate Latins do we? Did your man leave you for a hot Brazilian booty? STFU about things you know nothing about.
Submitted by lislop on Fri, 08/10/2012 - 11:07pm.
Agreed. There is a girl in my grad school class that I have a little lady crush on because she is maybe a size 6, with at least a size 10 ass. It's so unexpected and so...juicy. Just looks good. What can I say?
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"I'll rip your tongue out of your mouth...and lick my balls with it!"
I know she is annoying to some, but i LOVE her on Modern Family. As far as I am concerned they can call the show Gloria and Cam.
And that body is stab your next door neighbor hot. I agree with her...I am not Latina, but I am Black, and an ass is a must. Not a "hey, I am fat, I have an ass!" ass, but an actual ass...not just a bag of rocks. A round boo-tay!
The (black) girl that does my hair has no ass and cannot even keep jeans up. Her top is so broad, she looks like a linebacker, but has no ass or legs. So fucking weird.
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"I'll rip your tongue out of your mouth...and lick my balls with it!"
Zorba - but if they have an apple shape how is that curvy? Curvy means having curves - a waist, hips, etc.
One doesn't have to be big or "chunky" to have a big ass. Very thin girls can have perky, bubble butts. Chunky girls, like thin ones can have flat butts as well.
Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Fri, 08/10/2012 - 10:31pm.
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Yeah, not many women ANYWHERE in the world would meet Lady Vergara's standards, she's pretty much talking out of her ass at this point. olollol ;P
ETA: @Akare exactly, with the exception of Brazil, they're countries which share a language but which are all quite different! ;)
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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I don't think that's Sofia.
My two cents,
I was born and raised in Costa Rica and I was always a size 0 skinny thingy, my sister on the other hand was a chunky girl with a big ass, she always got the compliments and the whistles on the street.
They used to call her the pant ripper, AS A COMPLIMENT... so we move to Canada where skinny is the standard and I get big, and she shrinks... So now she gets the compliment and I feel like a cow, at least I got a minimum of tush in the process.
I often go back to CR to visit and I observe that with the media and exposure to North American culture things are changing and skinny is getting more desirable but hey you still need a butt.
My North American friends always complain about their big butts while I roll my eyes and tell them to apreciate it because if I could get my butt to grow I would be the happiest woman.
PS. Mexico is culturally quite different to the rest of latin America, Argentina too since they have been exposed to a lot of North American and European cultures (via migrations and other) so it is not surprising if the standard of beauty there is more in line with European and North American standards.
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If you don't like it, don't look at it!
Submitted by WithinReason... on Fri, 08/10/2012 - 9:52pm.
Ms. Zorba, what do Mexican women have to do with Colombians? Nothing! ;) Could have chosen Brazilian and Ecuadorian? Argentinian or Salvadorian or Chilean... Yes, it is different with all of them, because they are in fact different countries and some are in different continents!
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That's true...just saying from experience because I haven't met many Colombians or Venezuelans, but I did grow up in a mostly Mexican-American neighborhood. And most Mexican women consider themselves Latinas. A curvy figure is also prized with them, but most women didn't fit that hourglass ideal that Sofia is talking about.
I honestly don't get why so many people dislike her. I love Sofia!
Lily85
yep thats me. i'm a size 8 in cloths but am wearing a damn d cup in bra size and I CAN'T STAND IT! and no matter how hard i work the top the breasts wont leave. i have serious breast issues. its hereditary.
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"The world is a pretty nice place if you're happy"
John Garfield
No one lives forever
very cheap and very obvious publicity stunt. and i know plenty of pancake booty Hispanics who get some.
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"The world is a pretty nice place if you're happy"
John Garfield
No one lives forever
Ms. Zorba, what do Mexican women have to do with Colombians? Nothing! ;) Could have chosen Brazilian and Ecuadorian? Argentinian or Salvadorian or Chilean... Yes, it is different with all of them, because they are in fact different countries and some are in different continents! lol
OnT: This bitch still has a hot ass!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by YourClothesAreDead on Fri, 08/10/2012 - 7:50pm.
Yeah, well it's not very hard to be loud & colorful if you take tons of coke.
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Is she a rumored cokehead? I know Camila Alves might be.
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SANTO DIOS! PRAISE HAY-SOOS CREASE-TOE!
I don't know. Most Mexican women I know don't have fat asses unless they're really fat. Otherwise the curvy ones have more of an apple shape with really big, bodacious tits and a flat butt. If a girl has a classic hourglass shape that's obviously hitting the jackpot but I'd say that body type is still rare. Maybe it's different for Columbians but otherwise she's just talking out of her, erm, ass.
Submitted by Lisbet459 on Fri, 08/10/2012 - 2:14pm.
But that's a fair point. For instance, I think the woman behind this blog is something like a 24EE:
http://www.thinandcurvy.com/
I agree with you that curvy is more of a shape than a size, but that's not really what Vargara was saying. She was talking about voluptuousness as meaning a big ass, and how Latin American culture just lurves that. Plus, a lot of people do equate curvy with the bigger sizes.
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The girl on that blog is definitely curvy, meaning has curves, not excess flab.
She's a fucking idiot just perpetuating cultural stereotypes. She does nothing for Latina women whatsover, except set them back about 100 years or so. What is her next ignorant statment going to be about? How a Latina woman is NOTHING unless she knows how to cook rice and beans for her man?
Good grief, I would do seriously sick things to innocent beings to have a body like that!
Yeah, well it's not very hard to be loud & colorful if you take tons of coke.
Someone must have a shrine of Cocos ass.
Shes hot for an older lady.. her outfit is nasty tho. See through pants are a no-no for everyone.
Shes only known here for Modern Family but shes been on Latin TV for a looong time. I remember her on comedy shows when I was a kid and I was glad she had such a succesful break through.
If u watch spanish TV you will get what she means, even the News shows have some HOT ladies on there. Of course we [latinas] dont all look like that.. some of us have fat bellies to go w our fat asses :-)
@babybunny, I am short and most definitely pear shaped. It makes buying clothes really annoying, especially the business casual duds I have to wear for work. I don't even go near dress pants.
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"SANTO DIOS! PRAISE HAY-SOOS CREASE-TOE!"
CodeRed: "there's nothing I hate more than really skinny bitches (example models) suggesting that they're curvy."
Lucifer_Sam: The only thing I hate more than that is when fat bitches refer to their multitudinous rolls of flab as "curves".
Add women who have huge WIDE flat butts saying they have a "nice" big butt. Wide butt/hips is not the same as a perky bubble butt!
Agreed!!!
yeah for white girls with fat asses!! Fat Asses are just a way of life for many women ALL OVER DA WORLD...don't make fat asses so geographically suffocated..they be fat asses in Europe, Asia, Amurica, South Amurica, wait did I say Asia, well maybe in Korea, but please I am eastern euro and have a large white ass!! so there!!!
This is one stupid bitch. She has no other talent except for her ass and tits, which I'm sure are not natural and have had "help"
I've lived in South America and it's sad how most women, not just celebrities and celebrities wannabes, are so obsessed from a very early age about their physiques. Half of all female butts in Brazil have implants, and the rest of the countries don't lag far behind... But as long as people as vulgar as Sofia Vergara continue to claim fame for their asses, things won't change much...
MTurtle I heard self disclosure stimulates the same pleasure zones as sex. As IF said, go ahead with personal questions here. We won't listen...;-)