Taylor Swift Is An Evil And Cruel Torturer
Taylor Swift missed her calling. Taylor should've been a torturer at Guantanamo Bay, because bitch knows how to put the pain on a grown man and leave him screaming for a rusty razor so he can murder his ears. Taylor's newest assault on ears "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" is supposedly about Jake Gyllenhaal, and she tells USA Today (via WOW Report) that she wrote that Pee Chee folder poem of a song as an act of revenge against her ex. Taylor's ex hates the kind of music she makes, so she purposefully wrote a bubble gum shit song that would get tons of play and torture him everywhere he went.
"He made me feel like I wasn't as good or as relevant as these hipster bands he listened to. So I made a song that I knew would absolutely drive him crazy when he heard it on the radio. Not only would it hopefully be played a lot, so that he'd have to hear it, but it's the opposite of the kind of music that he was trying to make me feel inferior to."
And when USA Today asked her why would she want to torment someone, she said, "Because that's fun."
Taylor is The Bad Seed of music. She looks like an Anne of Green Gables extra, all sweet and farm-like and shit, but she'll viciously murder you in the face. Crazy bitch. When normal people want to get back at an ex-boyfriend, they do sane stuff like key the words "I Have Gonorrhea" into his car or stalk him so much that he has to move to a different state. That's what normal people do. But Taylor has to get back at an ex by writing a song that will eventually play EVERYWHERE. So Taylor is not only torturing her ex piece, she's torturing EVERYONE.
If you don't believe that Taylor has the power to destroy men through her music. Just look at Wilford Brimley in the picture above. That's the face of a man who was just brutally tortured by being forced to listen to Taylor's album on the car ride over to Good Morning America.
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She doesnt bother me. I could give or take her.. but does she have a stylist? Her shade of hair and the cut always makes her look like a 40+ year old woman.. She is in her early 20s and doesnt even look it.
Submitted by snuffy on Tue, 10/23/2012 - 10:00am.
Someone should tell her that shade of red looks terrible on her.
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Amen! I'm so sick of her wearing red! It is by far the worse color on her, but she wears it constantly! It's like some Avon lady told her it was her premiere color and should be worn daily. It washes her out so much. She looks like she has major anemia.
Does anyone know where her dress comes from?
Ha ha ha, she's miffed because her PR piece used to upbraid her for her crap music? If you allow yourself to be used as a beard for a disgruntled closeted man, what the hell do you expect? What the hell else could they talk about?
It's official; she's worse than Carrie Underwood. At least Underwood can sing without being AutoTuned to death.
What a sniveling, no talent, female Ichobod Crane looking bitch.
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Hahaha! This is the best comment I've EVER read.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Tue, 10/23/2012 - 2:10am.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Tue, 10/23/2012 - 12:08am.
i wouldnt throw shade at her, if she didnt pretend to be pretty daisy miss princess disney romeo and juliet tess of d'ubervilles cant do no wrong virgin from the garden of eden.
Exactly. That's what pisses me off about her, the fakey "I'm a 14-year-old virgin who just kissed a boy for the first time!" image, when we know she's dated at least one colossal manwhore (the type who wouldn't date you unless you did disgusting things with him) and was chasing boys at the Kennedy picnic.
And what kind of delusional ho expects a grown man to listen to tween bubblegum country-pop about high-school boyfriends and first love?!
And I suspect that for someone like Taylor Swift, "hipster" bands are things like the Arcade Fire, where everyone has heard of them but they're too non-poppy for her and nobody's singing about teenage Twilight puppy love.
She also apparently hasn't learned that we strange folk in the 21st century have this thing called an iPod, so we don't have to listen to annoying little pop songs. We just put on our "hipster" bands.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
she is annoying and immature
"Sometimes all a woman has to hold onto is being a bitch" Dolores Claiborne/Stephen King
Someone should tell her that shade of red looks terrible on her.
@ liverwurst.. Ichobod Crane bitch ahahaha!
geez d'ya think she could dial back the red lipstick some? I can't believe anybody would date her knowing that they will eventually be memorialized in one of her Seventeen Magazine slumber party bubble gum shit songs.
"he made me feel like I wasn't good or relevant" That would be because you aren't.
What a sniveling, no talent, female Ichobod Crane looking bitch.
Jake has gay face. He probably took out his frustrations on Miss Swift ---having to play Hollywood beard game and all. Either that or the whole thing is a lie for press. As a side note, I love catchy silly pop songs such as this one.
HA! I love that. ATTA GIRL!
no one else felt a john mayer vibe here? i just can't believe my beloved jakey is "that guy". ah fuck it. he IS that guy. i'd still let him if i didnt know he was into dudes.
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"It's called a party bus! Not a punch-a-titty bus. And put your MetroCard away, Chris Brown, no such bus exists." MK
Submitted by WithinReason... on Tue, 10/23/2012 - 12:08am.
and she plays little miss innocent when she isnt.
i mean who dates a guy, goes to a family function and then tongue fuck his cousin out in the open so everybody can see it???
what was her excuse? he needed CPR? he was choking?
i wouldnt throw shade at her, if she didnt pretend to be pretty daisy miss princess disney romeo and juliet tess of d'ubervilles cant do no wrong virgin from the garden of eden.
when we all know Taylor can suck a dick till she hiccup and doesn't have any gag reflexes.
"Passes out. Waits to be taken advantage of."
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ahahaha... wait what? Oh goody, role reversal, but you can't pass out or you will loathe yourself afterward! Hahahaha *sets camera* lololol :D
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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"*whispers* a little loathing afterward is not a bad thing, means you had one hell of a time, *wiggles eyebrows* lollol"
Passes out. Waits to be taken advantage of.
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Won't let you do that Bango! No punching nuts while on my watch! HA Here's to beer buzz and awesome afternoons! Take away the goody goody image and needy personality and I'd say she's growing into a very pretty young woman. Just NO MORE SAD SAP SONGS!
*whispers* a little loathing afterward is not a bad thing, means you had one hell of a time, *wiggles eyebrows* lollol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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If she wrote this song to torture Jakey G she can't be all bad.
Submitted by bambam on Tue, 10/23/2012 - 12:01am
Lol TEAM FAT BITCH!
"ETA: *hick* you sound like a fun Monday night drunk, lolol Won't tease you tomorrow. Promise."
Ha. I'll be disappointed if you don't.
Not sure what happened today. Lots of yard work, amazing weather, no lunch, and an afternoon swimming with beer.... Oh yeah.
And for the record, I hate myself for being attracted to this twit. Not sure what it is... But once I sober up, I'll punch myself in the nuts out of shame.
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Submitted by loopygorilla on Mon, 10/22/2012 - 11:59pm.
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You almost convince me of the whoriness because she HAS dated a lot of douches. Jake excepted but he's looking for something else (you obviously!). But why torture the world with her grade 4 school songs? Each time I hear her and LezBeaver on the radio, I feel the rage start, and I AM NOT A VIOLENT PERSON! bwahahaha
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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when the world's men run away from taylor, what will she do? turn to pussay? start munching on samantha ronson?
Beware the skinny girl. She grows up with no boobs no butt no curves and no attention from boys. When she gets some attention, when she becomes experienced she goes straight for the the guys she couldn't get or goes for the guy you like cause you treated her like dirt and your guy is a ho who will go a girl who puts out easy.
Is Angelina Jolie skinny? I rest my case.
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You smell kinda pretty. Wanna smell me?
Submitted by WithinReason... on Mon, 10/22/2012 - 11:57pm.
thats a 2pac song lol but it applies to taylor swift, everywhere i go, i see the same ho.
Bango, make up your mind man, teeheehee, you like her or you loathe her, make up your mind cuz she loves those mind games and will come after you too, if she gets wind of it. ;p
ETA: *hick* you sound like a fun Monday night drunk, lolol Won't tease you tomorrow. Promise.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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LOL Loopy "are you sick from the dick or did you get the flu?" ahahhahaha And what do you mean years and years and years, how old is she? Ya, she's been through too many douches, but she's a grade A-clingon. That's to be expected, no?
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Edit
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and she strikes me as one of those cruel bitches at school, like regina george, except meaner.
she would me like "oh hay girl, i love your shoes, you're hair is amazing!! can i smell it"
and then she takes a strand, takes it home and does voodoo magic to it and puts it in her "The Craft (1996 movie)" diary she bought from ebay.
Edit for the drunks.
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Submitted by WithinReason... on Mon, 10/22/2012 - 11:39pm.
Loopy, which one of the douches called the ex-gf sexual napalm? OMG, what does that even mean? Explosive? lol Can't feel sorry for her and you're right, hanging on to it years later, please! She reminds me of the Lily Taylor character in Say Anything, pining away, writing her songs. Only Lily had real reason to suffer, haha. This twit wishes she were a dirty ho in bed.
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john mayer called jessica simpson "sexual napalm" he is a douche.
taylor should stop pretending to be an innocent ho, and own her ho game. she has fucked more guys than i have.
Submitted by nunya_bizness on Mon, 10/22/2012 - 11:40pm.
you know what im talking about right? at least a scorn ex who does all that shit, lets go and moves on.
but taylor just fucking keeps all that bottled up and years and years and years later, she writes a song.
and she should stop pretending to be pure than white snow tess of the d'urbervilles girl. CUZ SHE AINT.
she is dating connor kennedy but was caught tongue wrestling with his cousin.
if you are a ho, own your game taylor.
are you sick from the dick or did you get the flu?
Submitted by loopygorilla on Mon, 10/22/2012 - 11:16pm.
taylor's shit is crazier than a scorn ex who lets the air out of the car tyres, prank call your ex at 2-3-4-5AM in the morning, pouring bleach on their italian suits.
because she dated jake like 5 years ago?! and she is still holding onto it, taylor is like a creepy japanese horror movie character who rings you up and then makes cackling and scratching noises.
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A million times this!!!!
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Be intrigued, be interested. DON'T be stupid.---TheBreakdown
Loopy, which one of the douches called the ex-gf sexual napalm? OMG, what does that even mean? Explosive? lol Can't feel sorry for her and you're right, hanging on to it years later, please! She reminds me of the Lily Taylor character in Say Anything, pining away, writing her songs. Only Lily had real reason to suffer, haha. This twit wishes she were a dirty ho in bed.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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I really can't with this bitch.
She's 22, going on 12 ( she turns 23 in December).
As somebody on gawker pointed out, Whinehouse wrote Back to Black at 23, Stevie Wonder wrote Innervisions (think Higher Ground) around the same age at Swift and Adele was younger than her when she penned both 19 and 21.
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Be intrigued, be interested. DON'T be stupid.---TheBreakdown
thiiiiiiiis bitch, yea call me a hipster because i didnt start my period while listening to your new album on my vintage bike with fresh pressed bangs.
omg if this is true? its time she retires for a few years to have time to 'grow up'. may be college. couldn't hurt might help. i think she had a stunted child hood in some way.
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"I (almost) never look back, darling. It distracts from The Now."
= Edna 'E' Mode
taylor's shit is crazier than a scorn ex who lets the air out of the car tyres, prank call your ex at 2-3-4-5AM in the morning, pouring bleach on their italian suits.
because she dated jake like 5 years ago?! and she is still holding onto it, taylor is like a creepy japanese horror movie character who rings you up and then makes cackling and scratching noises.
1. stop bearding and dating gays, you dickhead bitch. if you aint got a dick, conversion dont work. EVER. conversions NEVER work.
2. stop dating douche bags, cuz thats why they are douche bags. especially the ones who kiss and tell and call their ex-gf, sexual napalms.
3. dont move in next door, after 2 dates.
but you know what, taylor might dress like a little miss sunshine, like a preacher's daughter. but in the bedroom, she would be a dirty filthy ass ho, like that footloose girl.
" Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer"..William S. Burroughs
Good one tigerily! I'm nearbout to that stage with my abusive asshole soon 2 be ex husband.
Also think this song is about the ultimate douche bag John Mayer
Soon, this twat will run out of men to date for 2 weeks and will start writing "I hate you" songs about rude clerks at CVS. Isnt' ANYone tired of her 6th-grade mentality?
Let's see she has bearded for Joe Jonas and Jake Gyllenhaal, two closeted gays.
if sinatra was ole blue eyes i guess taylor's nickname can be ole cat eyes
*take
annoy and torment not only your ex, but the rest of America? mission fucking accomplished. now kindly time some time to fuck off for a while.
You're not over a whore until you can say 'meh' to any and everything that happens to them. He/she wins the lottery and marries a supermodel? Meh. He/she ends up on skid row sellin' they ass for rocks and a place to stay? Meh.
That said, do you ever REALLY get over your very first bearding gig? Me thinks not.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
What, she thinks she's Stevie Nicks now? At least Silver Springs was a great song...
I like the outfit but not the mannequin. She comes off like a mean little bitch.
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