Taylor Swift Isn't Going To Be A Kennedy After All
You know how flaky a 12-year-old trapped in the body of a 22-year-old Strawberry Shortcake character is? One minute, she's trying to become a Kennedy by fucking on every Kennedy and the next minute she's over it and moving on to the next thing. UsWeekly says that after a couple of months of serious Kennedy stalking, Taylor Swift is done with the Kennedys, because she has broken up with 18-year-old Connor Kennedy. At least they'll always have Hyannis Port.... and the inevitable album she'll write about this mess.
UsWeekly's source says that TayNor isn't over, because the FBI threatened to arrest her for always kidnapping Conor Kennedy and forcing him to have tea parties with her yarn dolly collection in the replica of the Smurf Village she had built in her backyard. They broke up, because Taylor's too busy promoting her latest musical burn book:
"They quietly parted ways a while ago. It was just a distance thing. No hard feelings. They're fine. It's been over a month since they've even seen each other. With her promotion for Red, she has no time off until the end of the year."
What I'm taking that to mean is that when Taylor Swift recently tried to crawl into Conor's bedroom window in the middle of the night, Ethel Kennedy tased her ass and released the dogs on her. Taylor finally got the hint. Ethel Kennedy only said those nice things about Taylor, because she was trying to throw that boy-eating, squint-eyed country broom bitch up. No simple slut is going to write a song about HER grandson.
And I really hope Taylor Swift turns her Cape Cod mansion into a museum dedicated to the fall of the Kennedys.
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Tonic - yeah I get that. That is a big DUH!
But wouldn't a 30 year old MAN, who was friends with her parents, leave that shit alone to begin with, or decide to walk away since this relationship has caused hell in her life.
She's shut out her father and step mother, her mother kicked her out, dad turned off the cell phone and made her return her car. She's shut out her once inseperatable BFF.
It pisses me off.
"Ethel Kennedy tased her ass and released the dogs on her" LOL! I can visualize it.
Movie and album release time is always so fucking weird. This reminds me of the time Bradley Cooper and Renee Zellwegger broke up the SAME WEEK one of his movies came out after they were all lovey dovey just a week beforehand. Swift's album came out two or three days ago and we conveniently only hear about this after she's done with the interviews and suckering people into buying this shit.
Come to think of it, we've only seen Brad and Angelina together ONE TIME since they got engaged SIX MONTHS ago. ONE FUCKING TIME. But I guarantee there will suddenly be all kinds of romantic dinners and outings when Brad's movie comes out and there will be lots of wedding talk to get them through awards season. Once that's over we'll hardly ever see them together. Strange that Bernard doesn't have a conspiracy theory about that. He/She always seems so full of theories when it comes to Aniston, but the saints would never ever... :)
Swift, Cooper, Brandgelina. All of this just seems like an elaborate attempt to sucker people into buying their brand. Even their relationships are treated like a giant revenue stream, but when they got nothing to sell you hardly ever see these people together. The good news always comes BEFORE they're selling shit, and the bad news just days AFTER they're done selling shit.
Why would she want to marry into a degenerate clan where alcoholism, drug abuse, insanity, violence and even murder seem to mark each generation?
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 10/25/2012 - 3:12pm.
WHat the hell does a 30 year old, divorced man have in common with an 18 year old?
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Oh no... I can't blame her parents for not approving. I hope it runs its course quickly and without causing major waves in her life. She's in prime position to be taken advantage of, unfortunately. I actually have a friend who's turning 30 soon, and her boyfriend is 62. Talk about age gaps... holy shit! He's a nice guy and all. The thing is, he got divorced right before he met my friend and had to sell his house as part of the settlement. So then, he moved in with my friend, you know, just "til he found a place." You can see where this is going, he's still living with her like two years later. He also doesn't work anymore. He's not retired, he just... does nothing. So basically, even though my friend really and truly cares for this guy, he just hangs out at her house all day and doesn't have anything to contribute towards mortgage, bills, etc. Now THAT is a recipe for disaster.
Maybe now she and Jakey WILL (not never)get back together? This girl is a complete joke. I can picture her frothing at her ruby red lips trying to come up with lyrics to a new song. "hmmm, what rhymes with Hyannis..."
Wow. She looks homely in that picture.
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 10/25/2012 - 3:12pm.
WHat the hell does a 30 year old, divorced man have in common with an 18 year old?
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It's the Clooney syndrome. See my post below.
He's a Kennedy: He probably got drunk and cheated on her with a cheerleader.
I wish I had $4.5m to drop on a house on the Cape, but it wouldn't be in Hyannis Port.
Connor needs a good haircut.
That is all.
Speaking of age gaps. BH and I have this couple, who are our friends, and we hang out almost every weekend. Have for a couple years now. They have a teenage daughter, who is a very sweet girl. Just 7 months ago she turned 18. A girl who's never had a boyfriend, and is very naive.
Long story short, another friend of ours, and someone we played ball with has started dating her. He's 30. Her parents and friends DO NOT APPROVE of this.
WHat the hell does a 30 year old, divorced man have in common with an 18 year old?
Call me crazy, but I think the Kennedy party helped put the kibosh on this. How is it she can be so obsessed with the Kennedys to the point she'd tongue fuck another Kennedy and buy that house....only to "part ways"? Doesn't add up. We all figured out how psycho she really is.
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Also, when you end a statement with "Kim Kardashian is fabulous," all your previous points are INVALID, because obviously you have lost your damn mind." - MK
And she just bought that house to be near him.
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 10/25/2012 - 2:53pm.
I remember being 22. And there was absolutely NOTHING appealing to me in a boy still in HS. NOTHING!
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Completely agree. When I was 22, my brothers and I had a friend who was 18 and he was IN LOVE with me. I just COULDN'T with that. And my brothers were like, "Well he's only four years younger than you." And yeah, maybe it's not a very big age gap, but it's a very awkward age gap. Two different places in life and all that.
MJT - well, neither did I. LOL
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 10/25/2012 - 2:53pm.
His age and lack of experience appeals to her because she can feel intellectually and emotionally superior to him and thinks she can control the relationship. I call it Clooney syndrome.
*MASSIVE eyeroll*
So it had NOTHING to do with the fact that they could never go too far from home on their dates on account of him always needing a diaper change?
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 10/25/2012 - 2:53pm.
Hell, I barely found boys in high school appealing when I was in high school. ;)
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
Submitted by LaChaylo on Thu, 10/25/2012 - 2:49pm.
What I hate about her is her fucking cloying, saccharine image. If you're going to be a ho, do it right and do it well. Make it something to be worth talking about, not this whole fuckery of getting with an 18 year old Kennedy. Get with a Senator and get your picture taken with him while his wife is somewhere raising his kids. That's how you ho, dumb ass.
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& LaChaylo would know, too.
waka waka waka ! ! !
Seriously tho. . .I got a feeling La KNOWS.
Sup, La. . . It's almost LAKER TIME ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
Submitted by LaChaylo on Thu, 10/25/2012 - 2:49pm.
What I hate about her is her fucking cloying, saccharine image. If you're going to be a ho, do it right and do it well. Make it something to be worth talking about, not this whole fuckery of getting with an 18 year old Kennedy. Get with a Senator and get your picture taken with him while his wife is somewhere raising his kids. That's how you ho, dumb ass.
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OMG! I think I love you. LMAO!
I remember being 22. And there was absolutely NOTHING appealing to me in a boy still in HS. NOTHING!
What I hate about her is her fucking cloying, saccharine image. If you're going to be a ho, do it right and do it well. Make it something to be worth talking about, not this whole fuckery of getting with an 18 year old Kennedy. Get with a Senator and get your picture taken with him while his wife is somewhere raising his kids. That's how you ho, dumb ass.
I don't know but I think she's really cute but so help me GOD she looks like the kind who'd fuck your father on your bed and leave the wet spots on your favourite teddy bear. I'd trust her about as far as I could spin her around and fling her and my upper body is pretty damn weak. I say play the field, enjoy yourself etc but when it ends don't do the whole "it's your fault because your an asshole and took advantage of me" shit. John Mayer may be a douchebag but YOU fucked on him, rolled off the bed, pulled up your panties and wrote a song about how he took advantage of you? Huh?! Look at this kid. He looks like he couldn't find a clitoris in a dictionary, far less on a living female crotch.
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa she still has the house across the street! What a dope! She'll probably buy homes near her victims from now on...its her modus operandi.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
EW! LOOK AT HER MOUSE FACE!!! IT MUST BE LIKE FUCKING A RODENT FOUND IN A KITCHEN CABINET!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
so this tonta is gonna write a song about this now?
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
OMG WRITE A SONG ABOUT IT TAYLORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
And she bought that fucking house!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaha!!!!
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There might have been a time when I would let you slip away
I wouldn't even try
But I think you could save my life
Human-shaped diarrhea with chiclet teeth and preppy clothes. Both of them.
"I remember when you took me to homecoming...and you kissed me under the bleachers...ooooooohhhooooo...and you broke my heart"
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Oh please. This little "romance" was the worst PR debacle of this girl's career, and I'm sure this "breakup" was engineered by her iron-fisted management ("HAVE TO PROTECT THE PRODUCT IMAGE AT ALL COSTS") AND the Kennedys (who undoubtedly hated her) and their people, who still have long arms, especially when it comes to their barely-legal family members.
I think Swift's management and handlers are on par with Tom Cruise's, actually. To them, the brand is all, and anything which makes it seem less than perfect is VERBOTEN. But obviously even they can't control everything. It's actually sort of amusing to watch.
Dumb ass, the kid is in school. He's probably in like with some chick in his history class.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
I'm beginning to think she's just trolling all these guys, because she's a manufactured industry robot incapable of producing a genuine musical product and she needs a damn muse. Bitch, John/Jakey/Connor are not your Dave Coulier and you are not and never will be Alanis!
And I'm going to vomit really, really hard, complete with 15 minutes of dry heaves, with the first song that references Camelot. Guarantee.
Damn. I was hoping for another Chappaquidick starring Squinty McDerpface. Oh well.
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That's a very expensive chardonnay you're not drinking...
Knowing the Kennedys, she'd better call the song she writes about him "Entering The Witness Protection Program".
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Thu, 10/25/2012 - 2:27pm.
She is what, 19, and she's been in so many "relationships". Maybe give yourself a five-minute break there, Needy Nancy?
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ITA but she probably does it so she has enough people to keep writing songs about. God forbid she write songs about something else for a while.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Thu, 10/25/2012 - 2:27pm.
She is what, 19, and she's been in so many "relationships". Maybe give yourself a five-minute break there, Needy Nancy?
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Actually, she's 22, so now let that marinade again in your head that she's been dating a high school kid and bought a house across the street from the family compound.
I'm filing her under Stage-5 Clinger.
I bet she tries to get her claws into another Kennedy.
Either way, she's got material for another album now!
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Lucifer_Sam -- OMG, hon, where have you been? So glad to see you! <3
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
I love seeing this side of her. She's probably a clawing, conniving bitch. And I love it. Never liked the sweetie pie image.
wonder what prune face Ethel will have to say about this. Just the other day I saw her on some entertainment news show just gushing about Squinty.
She is what, 19, and she's been in so many "relationships". Maybe give yourself a five-minute break there, Needy Nancy?
So what is she going to do with that house she bought to be near him. Creepy!
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
She's rich with a flourishing career. She'd be a complete FOOL to get married anytime soon. She better learn from the Cameron Diaz book of being a Female Player.
He escaped. But is she pregnant?