"Oh How Cute, They're Charging Me With A Crime Again. Eheheheheheeee..."
Right after Lindsay Lohan forcibly butt fucked an 18-wheeler with her rented Porsche, she told the cops that she wasn't driving. Everything that comes out of LiLo's lie hole is the opposite of the truth, so nobody was surprised when witnesses said that she was the one driving and she switched places with her assistant right after the crash. TMZ says that since LiLo told lies to the police, the Santa Monica City Attorney will charge her with misdemeanor lie-telling.
TMZ's sources say that cops also found a bottle of prescribed meds in her purse and there were pills scattered all over her trunk. They were going to throw drug charges at her, but then her long-suffering attorney Shawn Holley handed the police a letter from LiLo's doctor. Yes, the "letter" was written in red lipstick on a stained Chateau Marmont cocktail napkin and was signed by "Dr. Anid Nahol," but under California State Law it still counts as an official doctor's note.
You've heard this all before, but this could screw with LiLo's probation and Judge Stephanie could throw in her a cell for a very long time for violating probation. But the chances of that happening are about as slim as me shitting out a 9 inch dick. (Actually, that could happen. I have been told by many doctors that my b-hole is like a sock-eating dryer.)
I live in California now, so don't I get a say as to how the state spends its money and time, because spending it on LiLo is a waste. Nothing's gonna happen to the bitch. Besides, LiLo is terrorizing NYC right now. Does California really want to lure her back? The monster is gone and we need to keep it that way. Close the gates and really keep her out by making all alcohol ILLEGAL. Yes, I'll be willing to make my own booze out of paint thinner and lemon-scented ammonia if it means I get to live in a Lohan-free zone. That's the price you have to pay.
Here's the darling of the California justice system leaving her NYC hotel with Ali Lohan last night. Now we know what it would look like if Angie Dickinson died, came back as a zombie and then fell into a vat of orange paint.
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With that awful fake hair she is now Chicken Little: Phoebe Price's little sister.
She could also star in a Simpsons episode with that ugly mouth of hers.
What I wonder is: how much does that ho pay her assistants that they're willing to take the blame??
And MK, if she goes to jail, will you be happy to know that you help pay for her li'l vacation?
You live in Cali now?! Welcome! I for one am thrillllllled you're here! #callme #letsmakeadeal
*** is coco gonna' be on? i need workout tips.
Honestly, I thought that was Dina in Lindsay drag...only Dina has more natural looking cheek implants. I mean, helloooo LiLo! Phoebe Price called, she wants her chicken cutlets back.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Hairy Back Mary on Tue, 11/06/2012 - 1:36pm.
American Dlisters: is Count Chocula cereal widely available in the US? I used to love it and it's only available at specialty candy/food shops (that are not located within a reasonable distance).
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Holy Fuck! That's a blast from the past! I usta love me some Count Chocula cereal as a kid. My jank assed brother prefered BooBerry. LAME. We' sorta kinda meet in the middle over Frankenberry. Of course, we NEVER got this shit unless we went grocery shopping with Dad. Grocery shopping with Dad was DA BOMB. He was just like, 'put it in the cart. Whatever will get me out of this hellhole without a kiddie meltdown works for me.' Not so much with the Mama. Yeah, it was Cheerio's or Raisin Bran. Take your pick. A meltdown would get you taken to the car. You didn't want to get taken to the car. Whoop ass happened in the car. Ah, good times.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
" Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer"..William S. Burroughs
this bitch is gonna get out of it again. the teflon cracken will ride again.
At some point will the State Of California just say "fuck it"? When do they wash their hands of all her interminable drama?
Submitted by AlexDSSF on Tue, 11/06/2012 - 5:49pm.
I thought that that was Clay Aiken in drag!
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Oh God, cannot un-see, lol! I was wondering what that chanteuse was up to, now I know he's hitting the bars 'til 4AM.
Submitted by Sweetas on Tue, 11/06/2012 - 5:39pm.
LOL!
I so did not catch that. I was thinking it was a play on I need...something. SO funny.
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
I thought that that was Clay Aiken in drag!
Submitted by Sweetas on Tue, 11/06/2012 - 5:39pm.
lol Datura, read it backwards and I'll sit here looking smug and pretending that I got it right away.
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Bahaha! Thanks, Sweetas!
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"You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
lol Datura, read it backwards and I'll sit here looking smug and pretending that I got it right away.
Submitted by ponchiks on Tue, 11/06/2012 - 5:35pm.
Lindsay looks like a bloated corpse that's been pulled out of some lake after a weeks floating.
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I know. MASSIVE bloat.
I know I'm late to the party, but can someone explain the joke of "Dr. Anid Nahol" to me. I think my accent is throwing me off of pronouncing it right.
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"You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
Lindsay looks like a bloated corpse that's been pulled out of some lake after a weeks floating.
I didn't know there was DNA in my ass!
According to NYDN, she has contacted several P.R. firms for someone to rep her and she can't find one agency who will even return her calls, let alone agree to meet with her. Heh heh.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
She looks credible, so I believe her. You never heard of Porsche-Traumatic Stress Disorder?
being her assistant has to be a tough gig.
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God don't like ugly.
HOLD UP, WAIT A MINUTE!! I spy a Ali Lohan, I thought she was sold off to the highest bidder in "Korea", no? Glad to see shes looking semi healthy, and ALIVE!
as for the trash known on the streets as lieblow aaannggh fuck her.. She has become boring, theres no more shock value until the day she od's b.
I basically logged in to say, MK, you complete me! This shit right here is why I love you more today than yesterday:
"Yes, the "letter" was written in red lipstick on a stained Chateau Marmont cocktail napkin and was signed by "Dr. Anid Nahol," but under California State Law it still counts as an official doctor's note" -MK
Dr. Anid Nahol!!!! FUCKEN LOL!!!
I didn't mean that any 40 year old people look bad for fuck's sake, I meant that she looks waaaaay older than 26, and older than 34, 38, but not quite 50.
I wonder if LieLow charges extra to take her dentures out.
Stop wasting taxpayer money L.A. and just give her a key to the city already, shit.
I get so angry thinking about this bitch. She abuses her body, commits illegal act after illegal act, treats people like shit, barely "works", and contributes absolutely nothing to society AND suffers NO CONSEQUENCES for any of this. Yet, there are people who live healthy lifestyles, follow all the rules, treat others with kindness, bust their asses to support their families, and are pillars in their communities and they are struggling with their health and/or financial situations.
Fucking hell do I hate her.
I found her performance in Bobby to be very charming, but nothing since then has made me care to watch
Linsey looks... Horribly preserved. Im not attaching a number because I know several people in their 40 50 60s that look young compared to this ho. And how old is aliana supposed to be? Something in the milk aint clean. This family is a mess. Not even a hot mess, just a fucking mess
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 11/06/2012 - 3:28pm.
Once again, STOP with the "She looks 40" comments. I know many 40 yr olds who look better than that!
Thank you PSL! She looks like shit. End of. Her skin should be in better shape but it's not because she abuses her body with cigarettes, alcohol and drugs.
Once again, STOP with the "She looks 40" comments. I know many 40 yr olds who look better than that!
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Oh - you want me to watch my mouth, how?
Take my fuckin eyeballs out, and turn em around?
WendyNerd, I agree. She was cute in Mean Girls, but didn't deliver an earth-shattering performance or anything. That was her last hurrah, besides Georgia Rule--which was surprisingly good.
I think Lilo had potential back in the day to make it big....and now look at her. Sad.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
She literally looks 40. You know, until 2 or 3 years ago, she was attractive, but she has absolutely ruined her looks.
Ali on the other hand was an unfortunate looking child, and ugly teen, and an even uglier adult. She's never had any hope in the looks department.
Dog - LMAO @ "skanky tampon string." That's the most fitting description I've heard yet.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Submitted by WendyNerd: "She's looking more like Alfred E. Neuman every day."
Sometimes she favors Frankie Muniz, I think.
Also, can we please stop pretending Lindsay is some sort of "great actress"? She's mediocre at best and people talk about her like she's Katharine freaking Hepburn. Why? Because she played the least funny, most boring role in Mean Girls? She played a teenage girl, Bravo. The talent in that film was Lizzy Caplan, Lacey Chabert, Rachel McAdams, Tina Fey and Amanda Seyfriend. SHE CONTRIBUTED NOTHING TO THE HUMOR. She's a lackluster "actress" with a dozen flops on her record, a habitual criminal, and ugly as sin. SO WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP GIVING HER CHANCES?????
Butterfly in the sky
I can go twice as high
Take a look
It's in a book
Pig-fucking movie
Pig-fucking movie
This skanky tampon string isn't going anywhere. They didn't put her chokey for DUIs or for possession, so lying to a couple of uniforms? Freckle, please!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by skinny fat on Tue, 11/06/2012 - 2:54pm.
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Tue, 11/06/2012 - 2:17pm.
just reading that the prosecutors are gonna ask for some serious jail time at her probation violation hearing.
*****
please. we all know NOTHING will happen. Hohan NEVER suffers any consequences for her illegal behavior.
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yeah I know.. ::shrugs:: I girl can dream, can't she?
PSL it sucks that this twat survived Hurricane Sally while so many good folks didn't.
Can someone give her a ride to the beach tomorrow night? Unless she already heard we're getting a "south-wester"
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l love a Dickey with floating balls!!
"R.A. Dickey for 2012 NL Cy Young"
PSL it sucks that this twat survived Hurricane Sally while so manyI good folks didn't.
Can someone give her a ride to the beach tomorrow night? Unless she already heard we're getting a "south-wester"
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l love a Dickey with floating balls!!
"R.A. Dickey for 2012 NL Cy Young"
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Tue, 11/06/2012 - 2:17pm.
just reading that the prosecutors are gonna ask for some serious jail time at her probation violation hearing.
*****
please. we all know NOTHING will happen. Hohan NEVER suffers any consequences for her illegal behavior.
She's giving Phoebe Price realness right here.
I wish I had something witty to say here, but I don't. I'll just say I'm sick of this stupid, lying, thieving little whore, and I hope she dies soon...
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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
Who said it was ok to start feeding Ali again?? Back you mangy beast, BACK!!
She's looking more like Alfred E. Neuman every day.
Butterfly in the sky
I can go twice as high
Take a look
It's in a book
Pig-fucking movie
Pig-fucking movie
@ Hekki -
Poor Ali - she doesn't stand a snowballs chance.
Ali's FACE.
Submitted by annobanano: "But for why is Ali dressed like princess Kate?"
I know, right?
But I give her an A for effort, because at least she realizes there are classier clothes out there than what her mom and sister wear. Poor Curious Case. I feel for her.
What is her "NY hotel" there? Doesn't exactly look like St Regis or the Waldorf Towers. I think these little boutique hotels are putting up with her so they can be like the little hotels in Paris and London that say "Oscar Wilde stayed here once before he died."
But for why is Ali dressed like princess Kate?
Wonder if that Wynonna Judd hair will make her more popular with the inmates?
And why the whoregash is this whore smiling?
She's probably excited that Ali came back from Korea with lots of whore money and clothing she can "borrow".
Move over, Sandy. Hurricane Lindsay's in town.
I can't WAIT for the trouble to start... What's it gonna be? Punching a bartender? Shoplifting from Saks? Dine and dashing?
Isn't "Diz and Lick" coming out soon?
Yes Blohan, because being photographed slipping in and out of hotels and clubs ONE WEEK after one of the most devestating natural disaster to hit NY, millions still shitting in holes in their back yards because there is no water, or power.
Fuck you. I hope you die, painfully.